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  1. #1
    Banned bbowen32006's Avatar
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    Bodybuilding jokes!!!!

    Interviewer:"What's the best protein source a bodybuilder can eat?"
    Pro:"Another Bodybuilder."

    How do Columbians develop muscle? By pushing drugs

    A little boy came home from a day trip at gold's gym.
    He told his mother that it was the strangest experience
    he'd ever had, everyone in there was swollen and screaming
    (you can see it now can’t you)

    If you notice a number of Bodybuilders in the gym getting erections,don't worry it's called bulking up.

    Bodybuilder:"I work on 3 body parts a day."
    Pathologist:"So do I."

    (I can see it now)
    At a bodybuilding contest a moron
    put oil all over his body and started sliding around all over the stage.He won the contest because the top three competitors slipped and broke their necks.

    Ok those weren’t that good I hope I at least put a smile on your face!
    Last edited by bbowen32006; 03-29-2006 at 09:40 AM.
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  2. #2
    Wow Strong Arms Goncalo.'s Avatar
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    How do Columbians develop muscle? By pushing drugs
    lol i liked that one .
    I wish my grass was emo so it would cut it self.

    Onde tem fumaça tem maconha.
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  3. #3
    Straight Cash Homie KennyK's Avatar
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    it put a smile on my feces!
    Promoting Misc Unity

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    Misc MISCER #34

    [quote]Originally Posted by Strongestdick

    this one time i taped two plastic bags filled with warm water together with duct tape. It was fuking awesome, swear to god it was like fuking microwaved titties.[/quote]
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  4. #4
    Registered User saaltydog's Avatar
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    Bodybuildier: Is there a vet around here?
    Friend: I don't know why?
    Bodybuildinger: (Flexes Biceps) Because these pythons are sick.
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  5. #5
    Ice Season is here! Budweiser's Avatar
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    oldie but goodie,

    Bodybuilder: Do you have your tickets?

    Woman: To what?

    Bodybuilder: (Flexes) to the gun show!
    "did you just say that with a lisp?" - Fitty

    "Guns don't kill people, quarter inch holes through a vital organ kills people." - Mindripper
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  6. #6
    Straight Cash Homie KennyK's Avatar
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    Bodybuilder: Someone call the zoo
    anyguy: Why?
    Bodybuilder: Because a couple of 19 inch pythons are on the loose?
    Promoting Misc Unity

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    Misc MISCER #34

    [quote]Originally Posted by Strongestdick

    this one time i taped two plastic bags filled with warm water together with duct tape. It was fuking awesome, swear to god it was like fuking microwaved titties.[/quote]
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  7. #7
    Banned bbowen32006's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Budweiser
    oldie but goodie,

    Bodybuilder: Do you have your tickets?

    Woman: To what?

    Bodybuilder: (Flexes) to the gun show!
    Wow never herd that? wait it hink it was second grade? o well good try buddy!
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  8. #8
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    not that funny.
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  9. #9
    Banned bbowen32006's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bravo03
    not that funny.
    well it was only meant to make you smile!
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  10. #10
    The one and only bigcalves's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bbowen32006
    A little boy came home from a day trip at gold's gym.
    He told his mother that it was the strangest experience
    he'd ever had, everyone in there was swollen and screaming
    (you can see it now can’t you)

    !
    i dont get that one...
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  11. #11
    Ice Season is here! Budweiser's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bbowen32006
    Wow never herd that? wait it hink it was second grade? o well good try buddy!
    Yeah that is why I said oldie but goodie.
    "did you just say that with a lisp?" - Fitty

    "Guns don't kill people, quarter inch holes through a vital organ kills people." - Mindripper
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  12. #12
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    Originally Posted by KennyK
    Bodybuilder: Someone call the zoo
    anyguy: Why?
    Bodybuilder: Because a couple of 19 inch pythons are on the loose?
    I like the twist to the same old joke...
    If it doesn't hurt, go harder
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  13. #13
    Registered User ChiefJustice's Avatar
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    bodybuilding jokes are not funny
    ill take a dump to this thread.
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  14. #14
    Banned bbowen32006's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ChiefJustice
    bodybuilding jokes are not funny
    ill take a dump to this thread.
    and i will take a dump on you! ^^^^ Chiefdip****

    Yeah that is why I said oldie but goodie. <---- yes i didn't see it at first, i'm sorry!
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  15. #15
    Banned bbowen32006's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bigcalves
    i dont get that one...
    you know you liked it!
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  16. #16
    Registered User ChiefJustice's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bbowen32006
    and i will take a dump on you! ^^^^ Chiefdip****

    Yeah that is why I said oldie but goodie. <---- yes i didn't see it at first, i'm sorry!
    these are horrible jokes, you cant deny this. try telling these at a party or something, youll look like a dip**** for sure. i dont even think fellow bodybuilders found them funny. Dont hate, jst bein honest
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  17. #17
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    Originally Posted by ChiefJustice
    these are horrible jokes, you cant deny this. try telling these at a party or something, youll look like a dip**** for sure. i dont even think fellow bodybuilders found them funny. Dont hate, jst bein honest
    if you cant find the humor in all things even the things that are serious, I feel sorry for you cause there is humor in everything.
    If it doesn't hurt, go harder
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  18. #18
    Registered User YuMadThough's Avatar
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    What do sick Bodybuilder's do on the loo?
    A: Drop Sets.

    What do you get when you cross a Bodybuilder with a Politician?
    A: A Back-bencher.

    Why did the stupid Bodybuilder train at the zoo?
    A:He wanted to get ripped to shreds....

    What do you call a Bodybuilder with major acne?
    A:Flecks Wheeler....

    Newspaper Headline :-
    ZOMBIE BODYBUILDER DOES THE DEADLIFT...

    Two Bodybuilders were having a fight outside a nightclub
    one of them tore off a car exhaust pipe and tried to ram it down the throat of the other builder "This is what I call
    the pre-exhaust principle."

    Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted?
    A:Because he was squatting....

    A Bodybuilder said to a reporter,"Would you like to see my traps?" And the reporter said"yes". So he took him down to his cellar and pushed him down a trapdoor.

    What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym?
    A: Curls...

    Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island?
    A: He wanted maximum isolation....

    What do you get when you cross a Bodybuilder with a peeping tom?
    A: Amazing peeks....

    A skinny guy was talking to a genie:
    "I want muscles all over my body."
    The Genie said:"So be it."
    In a flash of lightning the skinny guy was transformed.
    But he ended up looking like a giant bunch of grapes.

    Did you hear about the farmer?
    he was arrested for destroying his calves in the gym....

    Quote
    Bodybuilders should go to church and preach mass....

    A dumb Bodybuilder tried to rescue a girl from two live power cables but he got electocuted because he tried to do cable crossovers.

    What do you call santa with muscles?
    A:Mr Xmass....

    It was alleged that in 1979 Frank Zane told Joe Weider
    he was definitley going to win ten more Mr Olympias.
    Joe Weider said,"Are you INZANE."...

    Arnold Schwarzenneger took his car into the garage
    for a tune up.The mechanic looked at it and said
    " Ah, looks like there's something wrong with your points?"
    Arnold snapped back," No,I don't have any weak points!"

    Gold's Gym was robbed last week, that's the last time they recommend free weights....
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  19. #19
    Registered User Dar-Z's Avatar
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    sorry have you seen my beachball?

    *Most muscular pose*

    Its about this big!
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  20. #20
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    Originally Posted by Ace_2004
    What do you call a Bodybuilder with major acne?
    A:Flecks Wheeler....
    that is the best ever!!!!
    If it doesn't hurt, go harder
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  21. #21
    The one and only bigcalves's Avatar
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    funny part is that most ppl made them up as they typed, and some were good
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  22. #22
    Banned Lee_5's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ace_2004
    Arnold Schwarzenneger took his car into the garage
    for a tune up.The mechanic looked at it and said
    " Ah, looks like there's something wrong with your points?"
    Arnold snapped back," No,I don't have any weak points!"

    .
    LMAO. i like that one
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  23. #23
    Banned RobArson's Avatar
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    bodybuilder: Anybody got some tape?

    unsuspecting mortal: Why?

    bodybuilder: Cause I'm f*ckin ripped!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!


    *how original *
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  24. #24
    Registered User LoveDemEnronBoys's Avatar
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    Q:How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A: 2, 1 to screw in the light bulb and 1 to say "lookin good bro."
    You know when you were younger and your parents or coaches would say: "No matter how good you are there is always going to be someone out there better than you."

    Well I am that someone.
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  25. #25
    Banned bbowen32006's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LoveDemEnronBoys
    Q:How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A: 2, 1 to screw in the light bulb and 1 to say "lookin good bro."

    3 the other to say... wow strong arms!
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  26. #26
    Registered User Contract Killer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LoveDemEnronBoys
    Q:How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A: 2, 1 to screw in the light bulb and 1 to say "lookin good bro."

    The answer is ONE. I hold the bulb in place while the whole world revolves around me.
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  27. #27
    Banned Lee_5's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Contract Killer
    The answer is ONE. I hold the bulb in place while the whole world revolves around me.
    LOL. thats great
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  28. #28
    Registered User -RiK-'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Dar-Z
    sorry have you seen my beachball?

    *Most muscular pose*

    Its about this big!
    lol i liked that one
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  29. #29
    Banned bbowen32006's Avatar
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    this has nothing to do with body building! http://www.office-humour.co.uk/g/i/3958/

    http://www.office-humour.co.uk/g/i/3955/ <---wowstrong ASSSSSSSS

    maybe a little 10 second abs!!!!!! http://www.office-humour.co.uk/g/i/3947/ that **** is classic!
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  30. #30
    USPlabs dexterium's Avatar
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    BBer: Hey do you know the number for the local plumber?

    Mortal: Um.. no ... why?

    BBer: Because my pipeS are swolen1111!!
    Last edited by dexterium; 03-29-2006 at 02:01 PM.
    USPlabs Representative. Alpha Manlet.

    Deadlift: 525 lbs at 164 lb body weight. No straps. 3.2 x bw.
    Squat: 260 lbs x 15 reps to parallel at 164 body weight. No belt. No wraps.
    Dumbbell Bench Press: 100 lb dumbbells x 14 reps at 164 lb body weight.
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