moar encounters with the EX

[GloboRick]

I posted some previous threads about my ex, basically we dated for three years, she went to a new college and we broke up b/c of it. We had stopped talking for about 10 months then mid september she decided we should hang out etc...We've been partying and hanging out on a few occasions, ending in us sex'n.

I still have feelings for her and would like to be in an exclusive relationship, right now I have a few casual encounters with females evey now and then but I really dislike doing that and those women tend to develp feelings for me quickly...I just can't feel that way about them though.

Now to the story at hand.
I called my ex friday when I got off work, asked if I could come over she said ok. She rang me back and called it off but said mon or tues we could hang out for sure. Last night (mon) she comes over, us and some other people drink and party. She ends up acting all lovey dovey talking about the past and sh*t and hanging all over me etc...

We were about to go lay down in my room when my drunk ass roommate asks if he can have a word with me alone for a sec. The ex like jumps over my shoulder and starts like violently whispering and flailing her hands at him like he was going to tell me something crazy about her. All he asked was if we could run a train, lol. I said no of course, today he doesn't even remember saying it.

Me and the ex go to my room and get naked and are about to get it on then she tells me to stop and that we should talk real quick. Then she asks me if "I still love her?" I was a lil tipsy, went ahead and told her that I did. She says that she still has feelings for me but isn't sure if shes ready for things to go back to how they were yet, like dating and all. She told me that if theres someone else I love that I should go ahead and be with them and not let her stop me. Then she also said that she was happy I haven't found anyone else though and that she hoped I wouldn't have...

At that point my penor was soft and I was confused as f*ck. I said that we should talk about this later and we commenced with the sexorz. We went to sleep afterwards, I woke her up so she wouldn't be late for her dr. appointment and kissed her goodbye.

Cliffs:
- Been hanging out with the ex recently
- Called her, she said she would come over monday
- Ex comes over to drink and hang out with me and some friends
- Ex talks alot about the past and us the whole time
- We go to my room, she stops me naked with a hard on and says we should talk 1st
- Asks me if I still love her?
- I say yes, we talk about "us" for a min
- We go back to sexing
- She leaves in the morning

It just seems like she wants to be with me but then again is not sure...?
I'm just looking for some helpful advice and insight. Does it seem like she is worth pursuing for a relationship, as I have feelings for her.

[killerobotninja]

I think you should have a good talk with her face to face. See what both of you want and work from there. Based on her answers, maybe you guys will have a shot again! Hope it works out for ya.

[DTay47]

You have taken major steps backward my friend.
You brokeup before, and you obviously broke up for a reason. Sure, you may still have feelings her for... but you two broke up cause it wouldn't work.
Tell her you did find someone else.... or just stop talking to her.
Seriously, you really need to get over her.
Edit: Now that I look at your age... my opinion is obivously based off of someone younger and more immature than you... so I'm not really sure what you should do, I'm just not old enough to know.

[209vaughn]

Sh!t like this happens all the time between BF/GF's. Decide what you want, and be as clear with her what your intentions are...

[axeonfire]

[img] http://www.flickr.com/photos/14319995@N07/1459644832/ [ /img]

[GloboRick]

I think you should have a good talk with her face to face. See what both of you want and work from there. Based on her answers, maybe you guys will have a shot again! Hope it works out for ya.

This seems to be a good approach

You have taken major steps backward my friend.
You brokeup before, and you obviously broke up for a reason. Sure, you may still have feelings her for... but you two broke up cause it wouldn't work.
Tell her you did find someone else.... or just stop talking to her.
Seriously, you really need to get over her.
Edit: Now that I look at your age... my opinion is obivously based off of someone younger and more immature than you... so I'm not really sure what you should do, I'm just not old enough to know.

we were dating not married. times come in people lives where they go through a big change and they have to find ways of coping with it. I guess the break up was part of it.

Sh!t like this happens all the time between BF/GF's. Decide what you want, and be as clear with her what your intentions are...

Ok so I tell her what I want and she says shes not ready or isn't sure. Should I give her time to think and still be friends with her or just stop talking/seeing her all together?

[MuscleStuck]

just marry the bish already

[ratmonkey]

i think the going crazy over the friend coming in part is throwing up about the biggest red flag, like, ever.

[clifftime]

i think the going crazy over the friend coming in part is throwing up about the biggest red flag, like, ever.

I was thinkin the exact same thing.. Friend and her have a secret, she pulls the flailing arms act, friend changes topic at last second to something rediculous like running a train! lol WTF

Edit: Now that I think about it running a train wouldn't be a bad idea! Do it for the lulz

[Brrcats]

so she dumped your ass when she went to college to find something better.
now that she hasnt found anyone to put up with her special brand of crazy shes creepin back into your life and is playing you till she finds something better.


tell me i'm wrong and i'll show you a liar.

[PHX04]

how many girls did you talk/sex while she was gone?

ive got to know a few girls while the ex and i broke up for 9 months. and not one comes close to be dating material. just Sluts, single moms, and more single moms. still going out and looking for relationships.

[Guardian]

so she dumped your ass when she went to college to find something better.
now that she hasnt found anyone to put up with her special brand of crazy shes creepin back into your life and is playing you till she finds something better.


tell me i'm wrong and i'll show you a liar.

This is only one possibility and also may only be half true.

People can and do change especially at young ages, and they do make mistakes.

What she viewed as "better" before now may change.

Some young girls may think a "better" guy is a tatooed motorcycle local band guitar player living in the basement of his friends. Years later same girls may view the guy as a bum and suddenly a clean cut guy in an office driving a crysler 300 is "better."

"Better" and "worse" are perceptions that can and do change over time, the key is to focus on what is going on in the moment, the current reality.

[Fire_mesiah]

so she dumped your ass when she went to college to find something better.
now that she hasnt found anyone to put up with her special brand of crazy shes creepin back into your life and is playing you till she finds something better.


tell me i'm wrong and i'll show you a liar.

lol i was thinking this but didnt know how to place it , nice one though

[MuscleStuck]

so she dumped your ass when she went to college to find something better.
now that she hasnt found anyone to put up with her special brand of crazy shes creepin back into your life and is playing you till she finds something better.


tell me i'm wrong and i'll show you a liar.

well said brah

[GloboRick]

I was thinkin the exact same thing.. Friend and her have a secret, she pulls the flailing arms act, friend changes topic at last second to something rediculous like running a train! lol WTF

Edit: Now that I think about it running a train wouldn't be a bad idea! Do it for the lulz

It's nothing like that, she doesn't care for him much and thought he was going to talk sh*t on her. He was drunk and half serious about it tho b/c he doesn't care for her much either.

so she dumped your ass when she went to college to find something better.
now that she hasnt found anyone to put up with her special brand of crazy shes creepin back into your life and is playing you till she finds something better.


tell me i'm wrong and i'll show you a liar.

She didn't "dump" me for something better, she just could handle socially readjusting and moving away but I can't look past this factor. She has slowly crept back, we have gradually been seeing each other more tho.

how many girls did you talk/sex while she was gone?

ive got to know a few girls while the ex and i broke up for 9 months. and not one comes close to be dating material. just Sluts, single moms, and more single moms. still going out and looking for relationships.

WTF is up with all the single moms brah, like everytime I go out I run into one!
I really don't like sleeping around b/c of all the crazy dirty whores out there.
I talked to like 4 or 5 girls while we were apart, smashed 3 of them. Each one was a different case, one was a psycho. I just stopped sleeping around after one of them claimed to be preggo...(thank god it wasn't mine)
One of the chicks and me still talk, she has gotten attached. I don't want to be a dick tho, shes nice but i dunno if i'd date her.

This is only one possibility and also may only be half true.

People can and do change especially at young ages, and they do make mistakes.

What she viewed as "better" before now may change.

"Better" and "worse" are perceptions that can and do change over time, the key is to focus on what is going on in the moment, the current reality.

I think its this pretty much, she's younger and we had dated for three strait years before the break up. She prolly just wanted to be on her own and experience life as such for a while. I'm the most consistant in her eyes and she has most likely gone through some college douch bags and whoever else as exp with other guys.
I don't think i'm better than anyone else and don't like to judge people but my mind gets blown by the fact that she wouldn't want to be with me. I'm the best looking, nicest guy she will be able to get and I think she has thought about that.

[Guardian]

I think its this pretty much, she's younger and we had dated for three strait years before the break up. She prolly just wanted to be on her own and experience life as such for a while. I'm the most consistant in her eyes and she has most likely gone through some college douch bags and whoever else as exp with other guys.
I don't think i'm better than anyone else and don't like to judge people but my mind gets blown by the fact that she wouldn't want to be with me. I'm the best looking, nicest guy she will be able to get and I think she has thought about that.

You can't appreciate the value of something until you have experienced other things. Sometimes girls like the above end up being alot better to you down the line. Its a fine line to walk of not being stepped on but also not being a controlling fool letting something good go.

[GloboRick]

So i talked to her last night, just asking how her dr. appointment was and told her that I had a good time when we hung out etc... T
hen she says she "had a great time too but remember what I said last night" (about how she doesn't necessarily want to be in a relationship). I told her I know that we can't just jump back into things and that I want to enjoy us getting along and hanging out for now.

She ended up txt'n me at 4am this morning asking if I was up (I wasn't) I ended up txt'n her back when I woke up at 7am. She said she was up late and just wanted to talk.

I guess i'll have to give things more time and see what happens.

[killerobotninja]

Sounds like she is toying with you. Stop giving into it :/

[GloboRick]

She called me last night as I got off work, we talked about hanging out and being friends because she has realized that i'm a genuine really good guy.
She said that after we broke up she dated this jerk and liked him alot, thought she was in love with him etc... But he turned out to be a huge dick.
Now he has another gf but still calls her asking to hang out and trying to use her still. She says its one of those things where she still wants to see him even though hes a jerk and has a gf...wtf?
Then she said it was prolly a bad idea for us to keep having sex since she wants to be friends even though she doesn't mind tho b/c I can please her and she trusts me. She just doesn't want me to get attached like that and get hurt.
On another note she said shes now seeing a shrink and taking antianxiety/depression drugs and said she was sorry for the way she treated me when we dated and blamed it on her mental status.
Alot of what she does and says makes no freaking sense, if she knows i'm a good guy, cares about her and good in the sack what the hell else would she want?

[ev1ld33n]

Cliffs:
- Been hanging out with the ex recently
- Called her, she said she would come over monday
- Ex comes over to drink and hang out with me and some friends
- Ex talks alot about the past and us the whole time
- We go to my room, she stops me naked with a hard on and says we should talk 1st
- Asks me if I still love her?
- I say yes, we talk about "us" for a min
- We go back to sexing
- She leaves in the morning

It just seems like she wants to be with me but then again is not sure...?
I'm just looking for some helpful advice and insight. Does it seem like she is worth pursuing for a relationship, as I have feelings for her.

Reason for "ex" should be in cliffs...

To me it sounds like you broke up due to the eventuality of life/ eb-flow tide of life/ that kinda stuff.

In this scenario, I don't see why you can't pick up where you left of, you gotta ask yourself this though: Are you in a place where you can commit at this time, or is it gonna end up the same way again?

From your details I can't tell how deep your love when, but if thoughts of ring copping were in your head and there's still the base line affection, on which that was based, in your heart. I don't see why not... Did she ever really **** up, cheat on you, yada? Is she a genuinely good person? If yes... consider these things, and take it slowly... even though you might end up starting, you have to understand that it's exactly like starting anew...

Well you know what I mean man. Best of luck.

[ev1ld33n]

She called me last night as I got off work, we talked about hanging out and being friends because she has realized that i'm a genuine really good guy.
She said that after we broke up she dated this jerk and liked him alot, thought she was in love with him etc... But he turned out to be a huge dick.
Now he has another gf but still calls her asking to hang out and trying to use her still. She says its one of those things where she still wants to see him even though hes a jerk and has a gf...wtf?
Then she said it was prolly a bad idea for us to keep having sex since she wants to be friends even though she doesn't mind tho b/c I can please her and she trusts me. She just doesn't want me to get attached like that and get hurt.
On another note she said shes now seeing a shrink and taking antianxiety/depression drugs and said she was sorry for the way she treated me when we dated and blamed it on her mental status.
Alot of what she does and says makes no freaking sense, if she knows i'm a good guy, cares about her and good in the sack what the hell else would she want?

Hmmm wish I had read this before... sorry for my previous advice posting... ignore it. Seems she lacks clarity of mind, not uncommon for young females, but unacceptable of a potential bride.

[GloboRick]

Hmmm wish I had read this before... sorry for my previous advice posting... ignore it. Seems she lacks clarity of mind, not uncommon for young females, but unacceptable of a potential bride.

thanks for the supportive words and yeah she is in early 20's (pretty young) The more I talk to her the more i'm like what is wrong with this chick, hopefully something will click in my head and make me change the way I feel about her.
I still feel like theres some unfinished business between us and that I need to stick around and ride things out until she either ****s me over to the point of no return or she finds a guy to stay with for the long term. I just care about her so much, i'd still do pretty much anything for her. I have no clue why i'd feel this way, if she was wrong for me. Maybe she will make up her mind, this is pretty much the last time i'm going to consider trying to work up to the way things used to be.

[GloboRick]

Called her after work last night to see if she wanted to come out since I was having some people over, she said sure if I come pick her up b/c she was broke until payday and low on gas etc...
Said she had to work early so I'd have to take her back to her place around 1am. We have a good time and head to her place, she says I can stay over if I want but shes going to sleep.
I stay over, she woke up and my arm was around her she kind tossed around until it was off, lol. We got up, she walked me out and then I slid a $20 through her covertable top onto driver seat of her car.
This chick is so freaking confused...

[ratmonkey]

should have run while you had the chance, it's turning awkward again and extricating yourself won't be easy.

i'm rather sure she isn't the one that's confused.

[Grinners]

I wanna know what she didnt want you to hear....

[Guardian]

My rule is you never tell a girl you love her unless you are in a relationship with her and she has established to be who you want, this girl hasn't.

No harm giving her a chance to see if she has changed but if you throw that word out there then your ship is sank before its even set sail again.


Love is like turbo in a car, it only is usefull if the car is working to begin with.

[GloboRick]

Thanks for the feedback guyz! I'll probably keep thread going until we either start dating or something crazy happens and we have another massive falling out.

should have run while you had the chance, it's turning awkward again and extricating yourself won't be easy.

i'm rather sure she isn't the one that's confused.

I have a feeling shes not as confused as i'd like to be led to believe. I couldn't run from her if I wanted to tho. I'm not stuck dating her or anything yet but she might be trying to keep me tied up.
Its getting awkward in a sense b/c she has slept me a few times and keeps switching from lets freak mode to lets be friends, we can't just be friends.
I asked her if she found the $20 on her seat, she said she didn't (I think she did) and acted upset b/c I did it. If your sitting there telling me you might have to pawn some of your sh*t to have money then yeah take the $ and shut it, I didn't ask for anything in return. If she doesn't want it then she can just give it back. (I bet she doesn't tho)

I wanna know what she didnt want you to hear....

Nothing too wild, just that she was seeing a shrink and taking anti-depressants. Then she said sorry for the way she would get upset with me easily during our relationship.

My rule is you never tell a girl you love her unless you are in a relationship with her and she has established to be who you want, this girl hasn't.

No harm giving her a chance to see if she has changed but if you throw that word out there then your ship is sank before its even set sail again.


Love is like turbo in a car, it only is usefull if the car is working to begin with.

I didn't say I love you like out of nowhere, she had my cock a inch from her vag and stopped me then asked. It was true but I might say something like that out of instinct incase she decided not to let me smash. I'm not saying it again i'll reverse the situation on her next time.

I like your car:love analogy, lulz

[GloboRick]

Called her today b/c I went to the gym and my roommates are all working. She was feeling under the weather and just at home. I offered to come over and chill, figured she'd want some social interaction while by herself at home.
She had a dr. ap soon tho and then work, I told her to call in but her money situation wouldn't allow her to miss hours.
I asked her if she found the $20 in her driver side seat, said she didn't then proceeded to get pissy at me for leaving her monies. I told her to not worry about it, I was just trying to help out. She continued to be snappy and started talking about irrelevant reasons why I shouldn't have done that. (Aside from her ego being shaken I think she was venting her stress from other things on me)
I just told her to feel better and give me a call when she isn't mad then got off the phone.

[Guardian]

I didn't say I love you like out of nowhere, she had my cock a inch from her vag and stopped me then asked. It was true but I might say something like that out of instinct incase she decided not to let me smash. I'm not saying it again i'll reverse the situation on her next time.

I like your car:love analogy, lulz

Big mistake my friend never say it unless in a relationship and shes proven to you, just spreading them isn't proving anything to you other then that shes breathing.

[GloboRick]

Big mistake my friend never say it unless in a relationship and shes proven to you, just spreading them isn't proving anything to you other then that shes breathing.

I won't say it anymore i guess, it wasn't a i'm deeply romantically in love with you more like a we used to date, your naked, why are you asking me this, sure I love u. Kinda like luke wilson on old school when elisha curthbeth* was walking out of his room after the mitchapaloza.
I could stop initiating talking to her but she'll most likely either end up initiating it after she realizes she is lonely or calling me and acting pissy b/c I stopped talking to her.
Either way i'm not in a hurry to date anyone really, even her. I am super picky with women I date, unless they happen to be sugar mama status.