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  1. #1
    Registered User TheBull's Avatar
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    My girlfriend is bulimic

    Ok, I found out last night that my girlfriend is bulimic. I heard through one of her girl friends and finally brought it up to her only to hear a long pause, then a 'yes'. She went on to tell me that she's had eating disorders since the 5th grade. At one point she was anorexic, and she used to also throw up a lot, and shes had something called Hypoglycemia (Blood sugars?). Recently she got on birth control, and thinking she would get fat, started throwing up again and has every night after dinner for the past 2 months.

    Heres the thing though. Sounding as least cocky as possible, my girlfriend is absolutely breathtaking. She is easily a 9-9.5, no exagerations. Shes about 5'5 124, with C Cups, a perfect butt, perfect legs, and an overall perfect body. She is absolutely beautiful.

    We're really close and some things that she does really worries me. She barely eats at all during the day, works out constantly, and is VERY self conscious. Knowing shes not fat, I'd make a fat joke and shed FLIP. Very very self conscious. She made a comment last night about bulimia that really bothered me. She said "well...it works". She believes that it does help her, and it does work.

    I was very stern and serious with her, and made her a deal. I told her last night was the last night she'd ever throw up. But I told her she has no pressure, and if she ever does again she has to call me right after and tell me she did. This, in my opinion, will establish responsibilty. Secondly, she told me she's willing to try it my way. She knows I'm way into nutrition, and that I know what I'm talking about more than any doctor, so I laid out a plan we're gunna follow.

    First, Im going to establish an eating guidline that she'll follow every single day. My entire family is into weightlifting and sees a nutritionist, and my mom recently lost a lot of weight (high protein + high vegetables). I told her I'd model her food plan from my moms. Secondly, whenever she comes over to my house shes going to step on the scale and I'm going to record her weight. She made it clear that she hates scales, so I told her I was the only one that was going to see the number. She told me she'd rather not do bodyfat, but this is a bodyfat scale and by entering her height and gender, I can get that number too. Im planning on making a chart and showing her her progress down the road, and having bodyfat cant hurt.

    Heres the thing though. She only really agreed to do it my way if I got her a fat burner to go along with it. I mentioned either Hot Rox, Lipo 6, or Sesathin. The only problem is that she lives with her parents, and they'd freak if they saw Sesathin in the refrigerator, so unfortunately that may be out. What do you reccomend along the lines of fat burners?

    Please tell me if this is the best way to do it. She made it clear she would NOT see a professional, only me. I know she trusts me and will do whatever I say. I feel I can help her, and am going to put my all into this. Give me your opinions.

    Thank you very much,
    TheBull
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  2. #2
    Registered User stone fox's Avatar
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    get her some cheapy fat burner that doesnt work and tell her it s the shiznit.

    really though i dont know much about eating disorders i always got the impression that some form of professional help was required in curing them
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  3. #3
    mr boxlin mr_boxlin's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TheBull
    Ok, I found out last night that my girlfriend is bulimic. I heard through one of her girl friends and finally brought it up to her only to hear a long pause, then a 'yes'. She went on to tell me that she's had eating disorders since the 5th grade. At one point she was anorexic, and she used to also throw up a lot, and shes had something called Hypoglycemia (Blood sugars?). Recently she got on birth control, and thinking she would get fat, started throwing up again and has every night after dinner for the past 2 months.

    Heres the thing though. Sounding as least cocky as possible, my girlfriend is absolutely breathtaking. She is easily a 9-9.5, no exagerations. Shes about 5'5 124, with C Cups, a perfect butt, perfect legs, and an overall perfect body. She is absolutely beautiful.

    We're really close and some things that she does really worries me. She barely eats at all during the day, works out constantly, and is VERY self conscious. Knowing shes not fat, I'd make a fat joke and shed FLIP. Very very self conscious. She made a comment last night about bulimia that really bothered me. She said "well...it works". She believes that it does help her, and it does work.

    I was very stern and serious with her, and made her a deal. I told her last night was the last night she'd ever throw up. But I told her she has no pressure, and if she ever does again she has to call me right after and tell me she did. This, in my opinion, will establish responsibilty. Secondly, she told me she's willing to try it my way. She knows I'm way into nutrition, and that I know what I'm talking about more than any doctor, so I laid out a plan we're gunna follow.

    First, Im going to establish an eating guidline that she'll follow every single day. My entire family is into weightlifting and sees a nutritionist, and my mom recently lost a lot of weight (high protein + high vegetables). I told her I'd model her food plan from my moms. Secondly, whenever she comes over to my house shes going to step on the scale and I'm going to record her weight. She made it clear that she hates scales, so I told her I was the only one that was going to see the number. She told me she'd rather not do bodyfat, but this is a bodyfat scale and by entering her height and gender, I can get that number too. Im planning on making a chart and showing her her progress down the road, and having bodyfat cant hurt.

    Heres the thing though. She only really agreed to do it my way if I got her a fat burner to go along with it. I mentioned either Hot Rox, Lipo 6, or Sesathin. The only problem is that she lives with her parents, and they'd freak if they saw Sesathin in the refrigerator, so unfortunately that may be out. What do you reccomend along the lines of fat burners?

    Please tell me if this is the best way to do it. She made it clear she would NOT see a professional, only me. I know she trusts me and will do whatever I say. I feel I can help her, and am going to put my all into this. Give me your opinions.

    Thank you very much,
    TheBull
    dude...i feel you. i have the same issue with my gf. she told me a while ago and it hurt me a lot because i care for her so much, and i continuously tried to find solutions to it. but what you gotta realize is that the eating disorder's control on her mind is incredibly strong, more than we can comprehend. i am seriously considering telling her parents so she can get professional help...but right now i'm sort of at a loss. if your gf says she will listen to your help, its worth a shot. she sounds more willing than mine was when i offered. BUT, don't expect her to suddenly come around completely...we're not professionals. good luck man.
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  4. #4
    Registered User sleepi's Avatar
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    there's no way to handle a bulimic girl except to make her stop doing it somehow or get rid of her. is she even fat? why the hell would she need a fat burner
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  5. #5
    MISC Doctor taz55's Avatar
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    dude it is mental. it has nothing to do with wether her physical condition is fat or thin. if possible get help. after dealing with my girl cutting herself all i can say is try to get help for her. seek counsling and if her family will support her then they need to be involved. it wont just stop. even if it does just seem good for a while it will always happen again. its like a drug. **** man i feel your pain. it hurts it sucks. but it will always be a problem with her. always. and if you cant handle that you may consider pulling yourself out of the relationship.
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  6. #6
    fallen angel darkangel's Avatar
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    She won't be beautiful when her body starts shutting down on her from years of abuse. I admire your desire to help her and be supportive, but she needs professional help, desperately. She'll tell you anything she thinks you want to hear and will lie to you to cover up her behavior. The best thing you can do for her is make sure she sees a counselor for eating disorders... and no more fat jokes, obviously. Is her family aware of her problem?
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  7. #7
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  8. #8
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    i doubt shes as hot as you say she is.

    Girls who are bulimic have notoriously bad teeth because of the acids from the vomit corroding away the enamel.

    Even on americas next top model (i thinkit was last season) there was this skinny chick with short black hair who had yellowish bad teeth...everyone suspected her of being bulimic which she was because the poor dentals were a indicator, aside from the constant after meal bathroom breaks.

    So i have nothing else constructive to say besides that.

    Also post pics.
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  9. #9
    Registered User ToBeOrNotToBe's Avatar
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    Someone with an eating disorder should be followed by a psychiatrist. It's a psychiatric disease that can be defeated with the proper help.

    By the way, I don't want to underestimate your efforts, I congratulate you for what you are doing and I wish your girl the best, but she should go see a psychiatrist.

    I'm a medical student, almost finishing medicine. I've had psychiatry and I watched/learned how psychiatrists deal with eating disorders.
    Last edited by ToBeOrNotToBe; 03-13-2006 at 05:27 PM.
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  10. #10
    Registered User ToBeOrNotToBe's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by FastStrongSmart
    Girls who are bulimic have notoriously bad teeth because of the acids from the vomit corroding away the enamel.
    That is common in long term bulimic people, but it does not happen in 100% of them.
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  11. #11
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    i applaud for being a man.. stand beside your woman and get as much help as you can and just be their for her
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  12. #12
    Professional Eater Dedicatedforlife's Avatar
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    Listen, I know a lot on the subject, and have done a lot of research...your girlfriend needs professional help. If you really care about her, then get some help....PM me if you want to talk..
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  13. #13
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    Originally Posted by Dedicatedforlif
    Listen, I know a lot on the subject, and have done a lot of research...your girlfriend needs professional help. If you really care about her, then get some help....PM me if you want to talk..
    i was gonna say that too. let a professional help her. eating disorders are usually caused by some sort of repressed trauma in one's life. so let them deal with it, all it will do is cause stress in your relationship, especially if she starts to feel like youre "pressuring" her into eating and she doesnt want to.
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  14. #14
    Registered User TheBull's Avatar
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    First of all, Im not posting pictures of my girlfriend on the internet so I can impress a bunch of creeps. Im not here for that. Im here to get help for my girlfriend, not start a pissing match. Ill throw this out there though..She actullay has the whitest teeth Ive ever seen.

    First of all, she WONT get professional help. Its not my place to make her. You may think shes a psycho after I say this, but she used to cut herself and be severly depressed. We got over both of those.

    She relies on me completely. I KNOW she'll listen to whatever I say. Im thinking of getting a fat burner and putting green tea pills in them or just something not very strong and telling her its powerful. She can beat this. The thing is, she wants to see results and be skinnier.
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  15. #15
    Registered User The Experiment's Avatar
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    Tell her parents. Now. You're a piece of **** if you don't.

    Bulimia is a mental disorder. Its not an on/off switch where she can say "Oh, I'll decide to stop being bulimic."

    Sounds like the cutting manifested itself into the bulimia. She needs professional help. Now.
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  16. #16
    tattoos <3 FreeBirdbulker's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TheBull

    First of all, she WONT get professional help. Its not my place to make her. You may think shes a psycho after I say this, but she used to cut herself and be severly depressed. We got over both of those.

    She relies on me completely. I KNOW she'll listen to whatever I say. Im thinking of getting a fat burner and putting green tea pills in them or just something not very strong and telling her its powerful. She can beat this. The thing is, she wants to see results and be skinnier.
    bro, no one is judging. she has deep issues that you are not going to be able to help her with. YOU MUST GET HER INTO THERAPY. tell her your takin her shopping. I guarantee once she gets help, she will thank you deeply.
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  17. #17
    Registered User TheBull's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by The Experiment
    Tell her parents. Now. You're a piece of **** if you don't.

    Bulimia is a mental disorder. Its not an on/off switch where she can say "Oh, I'll decide to stop being bulimic."

    Sounds like the cutting manifested itself into the bulimia. She needs professional help. Now.
    First im going to try it my way. Does that make me a piece of ****? If things get out of hand then Ill resort to getting medical help.

    This is something her parents don't need to know. Her dads a dick, and wont be knowing about this.

    I feel like I can help her. Right now here are my options.
    A. Help her and love her
    B. Dont give a ****

    And i dunno, for some reason I chose A. Telling her parents will do jack ****.
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  18. #18
    tattoos <3 FreeBirdbulker's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TheBull
    First im going to try it my way. Does that make me a piece of ****? If things get out of hand then Ill resort to getting medical help.

    This is something her parents don't need to know. Her dads a dick, and wont be knowing about this.

    I feel like I can help her. Right now here are my options.
    A. Help her and love her
    B. Dont give a ****

    And i dunno, for some reason I chose A. Telling her parents will do jack ****.
    bro you dont know ****, sorry. GET HER REAL HELP.

    your options
    1) get her real help and love her
    2) dont give a **** and "try" to help her your way
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  19. #19
    MISC Doctor taz55's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by FreeBirdbulker
    bro you dont know ****, sorry. GET HER REAL HELP.

    your options
    1) get her real help and love her
    2) dont give a **** and "try" to help her your way

    that may be a harsher way of putting it but i agree. dude cutting and everything else comes back if not treated. cutting could of easily turned into bulimia. no in is trying to get on your case. i know the hardest thing in the world to do would be to take her in to a shrink. but it is the best thing. it was hard for me to take my girl to the shrink even after i found her huddled in the corner with a knife on the ground. dude i applaude your efforts. i will say it again im not trying to get on your case. im just trying to help. oh and if she relies completly on you and your her crutch honestly thats a problem in its self.
    taz55
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  20. #20
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    Originally Posted by FreeBirdbulker
    bro you dont know ****, sorry. GET HER REAL HELP.

    your options
    1) get her real help and love her
    2) dont give a **** and "try" to help her your way
    I'm sorry, but this guy is absolutely correct. People with eating disorders rarely simply "snap out of it" - and they can't be forced to eat or to stop throwing up. Chances are, if you don't force her to get psychiatric help, you will not only be allowing her to put herself into physical danger, but you will also lose her because she will continue (inevitably) to make herself vomit and since she knows you disapprove she won't tell you and won't be honest with you about it.

    If you truly care about her and have any sense of what is at stake, you will talk to her parents or her friends and find a way to get her some help - PROFESSIONAL HELP.

    I guarantee you that she will not stop being bulemic for you. It is an addiction, and a compulsion -- it is also like drugs in that she will not "stop" them until SHE wants to - whether that comes through therapy or through serious health problems, I don't know ... but you can make a big difference here by insisting that she get professional help.

    This doesn't mean you don't care, and it doesn't make you uncaring - in fact, if anything, standing by and not doing anything while you know she doesn't eat and has major mental issues is selfish and uncaring. If you get her to seek professional help, you are doing what is right. You will be doing the only loving thing, and you can remain beside her through all of that.

    The important part is getting her help. Not the kind of help where you force her to tell you when she throws up and then say "hey, that's bad" ... because she'll just lie about it, I promise .... but the kind of help where you get her to a mental health professional.

    With her current eating habits, she is putting herself at risk for permanent cardiovascular issues.

    Similarly, you will not be able to convince her to eat. She needs professional therapy and FAST.
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  21. #21
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    Originally Posted by TheBull
    First of all, she WONT get professional help. Its not my place to make her. You may think shes a psycho after I say this, but she used to cut herself and be severly depressed. We got over both of those.

    She relies on me completely. I KNOW she'll listen to whatever I say. Im thinking of getting a fat burner and putting green tea pills in them or just something not very strong and telling her its powerful. She can beat this. The thing is, she wants to see results and be skinnier.

    Something more is going on. Yes, she may have stopped cutting, but whatever is wrong and bothering her has caused it to re-manifest itself in this bulemia. Instead of hurting herself via cutting, she is hurting herself by not eating and making herself throw up ... the problem is, what she is doing now is actually more harmful in the long run than cutting.

    I know you think she'll listen to whatever you say, but unfortunately you've just proved that in spite of listening to what you say, the issue is still there -- because now instead of cutting, she is starving herself and forcing herself to throw up.

    There is something much deeper going on here, and it is not something YOU can solve. Do not take this as being due to some lack on your part - it isn't - it is just that people with these problems need professional help to discover and deal with whatever is causing these things.

    If you care about her health and if you love her more than you love the idea of her depending on you for everything and your own ability to "fix" things, then you WILL get her to seek professional help.
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    Well, I definitely commend you on trying to help your girlfriend, and not adding to the problem by leaving her. Getting her on a healthy diet is certainly a good idea, but I strongly recommend not encouraging the fat burner thing. She needs to see her progress on her own. However, the at home remedies are certainly a bonus, she NEEDS to get help from a professional. First of all, this will make her admit to herself that she has a problem and she's taking the first step in getting real help. There obviously is some issue within her life that she has developed an eating disorder in the FIFTH grade, that is certainly NOT healthy at all.

    It's good that you know she has the problem and hse is not keeping this secret alone. However, I would also encourage you not to be a nazi about the situation either. While it's a great thing you're wanting to monitor her weight and what she's eating, if she feels she is being controlled or that it's BEYOND her control, she'll revert right back an eating disorder BECAUSE she can control it.

    If she has had a problem w/eating disorders, forcing her to eat food all the time won't help either, so to start off, I'd certainly say to encourage healthy snacks and dinners, like salads and chicken, nothing that is real fatty b/c she will definitely thikn about that.

    The only "fat burner" she needs is to get to a gym and see that she can look great w/o throwing up and taking pills. While fat burners are a good thing for some people (i used to take them beofre i got pregnant) by her only not throwing up if she is on fat burners, that just means she is transfering the problem from throwing up to taking pills, she's not actually DEALING with the issue. Does that make sense?

    if her parents aren't aware of the situation, I would strongly urge you to sit down with your gilrfriend and encourage her to talk to her parents. She needs to suport of her family and you right now in dealing with this, and trust me, teenage girls in high school (i apologize if you're older) are not always the best of friends when it ocmes to dealing with body image issues.

    The best advice I can give you is to be as supportive as possible, and to help your girlfriend identify why it is she thinks she needs to throw up, and what, if she can remember caused her to start having this problem in the first place (abuse or sometihng?). I am sure you don't need to be told how serious of a problem this is, and throwing up for as long as she has been can have serious problems on her physical health, her teeth can rot, if she gets too low of body fat, she'll stop having her period which is not good for a young woman, she'll start to look wrinkly b/c her skin will hang on her. Just try the best you can to be as understanding as possible, and IF she does have a relapse and binges and purges, dont' make her feel guilty, just encourage her to talk about why she did, tell her to keep a journal of the days she feels realyl low, and on those days go do sometihng positive for herself like work out, or get a pedicure or sometihng, or....GO HANG OUT WITH YOU.

    This is going to be a very big job for you because sh e iwll probably need you a lot throughout this process, so be prepared for that, but good for you that you'e trying to help. You get major points on my scale. Good luck, let me know if i can help.
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    Originally Posted by taz55
    if she relies completly on you and your her crutch honestly thats a problem in its self.
    awesome point. god i wish it was easy to just take my gf to a shrink...to the original poster, at least you're considered an adult dude. the only way i can get my gf to see a shrink is if i tell her parents, and yeah her dads an ******* too.
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    Yeah, and with the above-poster, I agree ... definitely do not encourage the fat burner thing. Part of the issue here is with her self-image ... she thinks she is fat or ugly or has been abused or something, and anything you do to encourage this is damaging to her progress.

    I also agree that you should be as supportive as possible, but also be firm in insisting that she get some kind of professional help. She has had a problem since 5th grade that has caused her to be depressed, cut, and now be bulemic ... this is obviously something very deep, and isn't going to be something you can access/tackle/solve on your own. She has to do it herself with professional help or she will forever be stuck on whatever trauma/abuse she suffered, constantly finding new ways to hurt herself.

    I think it is wonderful that you care so much about her, and that she can be so honest with you. But the reason she told you is because she wants you to help her. So do the right thing, and help her find a mental health professional who can help her understand these things and how she doesn't have to live this way.
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    bulmic??? SHE CAN READ MINDS????


    sorry,zoolander quote i had to add
    wuuuuuuurd
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  26. #26
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    Originally Posted by TheBull
    First im going to try it my way. Does that make me a piece of ****? If things get out of hand then Ill resort to getting medical help.

    This is something her parents don't need to know. Her dads a dick, and wont be knowing about this.

    I feel like I can help her. Right now here are my options.
    A. Help her and love her
    B. Dont give a ****

    And i dunno, for some reason I chose A. Telling her parents will do jack ****.
    Experiment is absolutely right: if you truly want what's best for her, seek professional help for her immediately. It's a psychological disorder and no amount of "caring" for her will cure it. Don't try to rewrite "A Beautiful Mind".

    I'm also going to suggest you're being SELFISH for not doing the right thing - you're afraid of LOSING HER because she'll get angry at you if you tell anyone.

    I'm going to tell you right now, if you go through with your plan, she WILL BE GUARANTEED to do it again, and you'll have an even harder time trying to help her. Not only that, the constant drama/crying, etc. will DRAIN THE LIFE out of you.

    Don't say I didn't warn you.
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  27. #27
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    If she dosnt want to get help she will not be cured. Your talking to her is not going to do ****. it's real simple and this goes for addicts, et....if you have the desire to get helped then you will be cured. If they have no desire they will not.
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    "Well if I'm paying for the dinner, I'd like to know that she's at least digesting it" - George Costanza

    "Oh so she's refunding"
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  29. #29
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    You're a douche.

    She has mental problems that manifests itself into several disorders: overdependence, bullimia, cutting. She needs help. So stop being an asswipe and get her help. That is, if you actually love her.
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  30. #30
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    Its hard to understand the difficulty of eater disorders, how to cure them, its very hard and its a phycologial thinh, I had it, I done intesene exercising and only ate meals no snacks. I started to get comments about being very thin and that you could see my bones but I was still determand to lose more. I was only 6.5 stone at christmas 2004, and my BMI was about 15 and my dad bought scales and told me that if you fall beyond 10 or something its fatal, that shocked me, I them reserched it and read a little about it and saw a girl who thought she was fat and was so thin that she died, I had Anorexia Nervousa (spelling) which is the fear and I mean fear to put on weight, but after you overcome this fear its gone, its all about breaking a barrior. I began to eat and put on a stone in a month or two, after that Ive kept my weight ok still underweight, but since I started putting on muscle I have went up a stone so Im not about 9 stone at christmas 2005, I dont know how but I managed to beat it once and for all and im proud of myself.

    Your gf needs to just over come the fear of puttin on weight, it can be easily lost again she must have strong will power to not each much so could lose weight she didnt want simple. Monitor her weight and make sure she isnt losing any, as long as she eats the same everyday gets regular exercise her weight my go a bit up or down but she will be able to maintain it.
    Last edited by Niyko; 03-14-2006 at 02:19 PM.
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