Help with a girl...

[hellsflame64]

Alright, me and my girlfriend have been going out for a while now, about 4 months. Everything seems fine, I've never been happier, etc.

But she told me today that she was asked if she still had feelings for her ex, and she said yes. She also told me that she doesn't know if she does or not, and that she's not breaking up with me. So I asked one of her best friends if she knew about it, and she said the same thing, so her story checks out. Well I still don't know all that's going on, and I'll post here when I do. I just want to ask, what should I do to play my cards right so that this **** doesn't go down? I really like her and I don't want this to end, at least not like this, and I'll do pretty much whatever it takes to keep this relationship.

[humblegenius]

What you have is not a relationship, its a fling.

And by the way, you should never need to "play your cards right" if you have been with this girl. She has to decide what she wants, and you have to decide if your happy for her to "choose" you. If you have to do whatever it takes to keep this together while she wants to play I think its best you bail now before this boat barrel rolls and you all drown in heartache.

Your 15, its not like your 30 with a kid, you shouldnt need to do everything to keep it together. Your too young to be talking about serious relationships.

[armyman8181]

Originally Posted by humblegenius

What you have is not a relationship, its a fling.

And by the way, you should never need to "play your cards right" if you have been with this girl. She has to decide what she wants, and you have to decide if your happy for her to "choose" you. If you have to do whatever it takes to keep this together while she wants to play I think its best you bail now before this boat barrel rolls and you all drown in heartache.

Your 15, its not like your 30 with a kid, you shouldnt need to do everything to keep it together. Your too young to be talking about serious relationships.

^ x2 He knows what he is talking about you are 15 you shouldn't be looking for your wife. Just live day by day and have fun and lots of it.

[hellsflame64]

Well that's probably what I'm going to end up doing, but ****... Me and this girl have done so much together, like... She was my first kiss, first makeout, first french, first lay, first everything. It's going to be hard to imagine life without her. I'll get through it, I'll just miss falling asleep thinking about her... I know I probably sound gay as hell here but she means a lot to me. I just don't want this to happen unless it has to.

I swear on everything I hold dear that if we break up and she goes out with him I am going to kick his ass so bad he won't be able to walk, talk, or have kids, to say the least.

[humblegenius]

Originally Posted by hellsflame64

Well that's probably what I'm going to end up doing, but ****... Me and this girl have done so much together, like... She was my first kiss, first makeout, first french, first lay, first everything. It's going to be hard to imagine life without her. I'll get through it, I'll just miss falling asleep thinking about her... I know I probably sound gay as hell here but she means a lot to me. I just don't want this to happen unless it has to.

I swear on everything I hold dear that if we break up and she goes out with him I am going to kick his ass so bad he won't be able to walk, talk, or have kids, to say the least.

Im not suggesting you root everything that moves, but I am suggesting you dont get so emotionally invested so young. The period of your life has too many variables, like school, collegue, work and so on. I know its hard getting over your first, but I hate to say it but she is already over you. A clean break is needed, you can still be friends (keep that adjar for a F-Buddy) but enjoy the company of many different people. You have your whole life to settle down. In reality you havent really done that much with this girl, and time will teach you that.

[jazztrumpet]

Tell her that you like her and you want to stay with her, but she needs to make up her mind NOW. Don't let her play the "I don't know... maybe... blah blah" game

[hellsflame64]

Originally Posted by jazztrumpet

Tell her that you like her and you want to stay with her, but she needs to make up her mind NOW. Don't let her play the "I don't know... maybe... blah blah" game

Wouldn't that lead to problems later? Like if shes just said 'yes' because I told her she had to say now, and later decides that she still has feelings for the other guy?

I'll probably do something like that, though.

[JennaClaire]

Tell her that you respect what ever she decides, and give her some time to mull it over. If you give her an ultimatum, you'll only look like a dick (and looking like that- why would she be in your favor?).....

[mikerenouf]

ultimately it is up to her to basically choose who she likes and who she wants to be with, but YOU have the power to show her why she should only be with you

[Becker51]

Originally Posted by mikerenouf

ultimately it is up to her to basically choose who she likes and who she wants to be with, but YOU have the power to show her why she should only be with you

x2.

If shes unsure about what to do after awhile then obviously shes not as into you as you are with her. You sound like me 2 years ago...thats how i was, id get into a relationship, fall hard and it would end in heartache.

Take it from someone whos been there, i know its hard to do, but just live day by day and try not to commit like you have. Your 15 man...you got high school to have fun, then you probably got like 60 years ahead of you, give or take a few years depending on your lifestyle.

Dont rush it dude.

[hellsflame64]

Wait, so I'm getting two different answers here... Seriously though...

She's going to call me soon, and I need a direct course of action when she does.

[mikerenouf]

we can only guide, we cannot tell you what to say, tell her how you feel about her, express your feelings from the heart( cant believe i just said that)