Eating Disorder Support Group

[scoch]

know iv said this before, but sorry to go in circles with you guys so much, i piss myself off so i cant imagine how frustrating it must be to try to help an idiot, heh

Scoch buddy - - it's time to stop analyzing this stuff, man up and do the right thing.

Which is incredibly ironic, since you're blaming yourself as a delay tactic, and you're blaming yourself for blaming yourself as a delay tactic. That's a mouthful.

Either you want to get better or you don't. At the moment you don't. We can't make you come around. I hope you make the right decision Kevin, but it's all in your hands, and you know as well as anyone none of this trivial **** matters.

i know this sounds really bad/hard to understand, but ^ is right. physically i want to recover, but "deep down"/at the core iv realized im still undecided.

otherwhise i wouldnt be restricting myself at all and looking for approval. Id have a whole other mindset. Instead of "you cant go over 4k" itd be "how much can you eat without bursting".

its pathetic, but ill get like 3800-4k by the end of the day and just think "whatever you're over maintainance, you'll still gain" after restricting myself during the day. (wrong mindset)

^why im asking you guys/some for an absolute intake number (should never go below) This could all be solved if i stepped it up, i know, but its hard for me to imagine what that entails. (5k+ per day? etc? im clueless honestly since im still having trouble deciding to get better, as much as i want to)

Scoch
Instead of being relieved you don''t have the weigh-in, take advantage of the opportunity to gain weight so you don't end up in the hospital.

iv been gaining, just not very fast? what troubles me is i should want to gain as fast as possible at the moment, but instead the only clear "benefit" from gaining ASAP is id have to lower calorie intake again , though not dieing and getting back bruises from school seats should be enough.

[Aindreas]

know iv said this before, but sorry to go in circles with you guys so much, i piss myself off so i cant imagine how frustrating it must be to try to help an idiot, heh

We don't really give a **** how flattering, complimentary, apologetic, or self-deprecating you are. We just care that you eat enough. If you actually wanted our approval, that's what you would have to do. Of course you should do this for yourself, but you don't really care about yourself. It's kind of a last ditch hope to think that they approval of others would change your mind. It shouldn't have to come to that, of course, but this is probably why we're still talking to you.

physically i want to recover, but "deep down"/at the core iv realized im still undecided.

So I'm not really sure what you want from us, since you admit you don't want to recover? We're not going to type some magical phrase that triggers a chemical reaction in your brain that makes you change your mind. If we haven't convinced you by now it's not like we're going to be able to. Your self worth has to come from within. Once you stop hating yourself, you may finally want to get better. I don't think any amount of praise from outside, not from your parents, not from anyone can change that. Do something for you. Love yourself.

^why im asking you guys/some for an absolute intake number (should never go below) This could all be solved if i stepped it up, i know, but its hard for me to imagine what that entails. (5k+ per day? etc? im clueless honestly since im still having trouble deciding to get better, as much as i want to)

Once again it makes **** all difference, stop delaying. Or die. Your choice.

[determined4000]

Let's say a doctor told you you had a poison in your eye. You hate taking eye drops but if you dont take eye drops ten times a day you will go blind and then die. Would you not suck it up and take the eye drops? You are in the same situation. You need to eat more or else your body will stop functioning and ten you will die. If Environ says 6000 cals would be significantly help, then look at it like this: If I dont eat 6000 calories today I will die. Don't look at it like maybe I will eventually die, look at it like I wont live to see tomorrow if I dont. If it was reality that you would have to eat 6000 caloreis tomorrow to live to see Thursday would you be able to suck it up for a day and do it?

[betterbody22]

f*ck, scoch. set goals, and ways to achieve them, and don't let your swayed and fearful thoughts be part of your plan. listen to environ - a person taking a knowledgeable, objective, and experienced approach. take his advice on the 6k. maybe make a deal with yourself not to eat below until you reach 130lbs?
and sh*t, why don't you want to gain? you'll only look better. you're not keep yourself looking good and healthy by undereating. if fat gain or weight is your fear why is that? honestly, a bunch of weight (muscle and fat) will make you look and feel better.

[Xhale12]

f*ck scoch.

Get out of here man. This is not the thread for that. If you knew what scoch was going through I know you would not be saying that.

[determined4000]

Get out of here man. This is not the thread for that. If you knew what scoch was going through I know you would not be saying that.

Agreed

[scoch]

We don't really give a **** how flattering, complimentary, apologetic, or self-deprecating you are. We just care that you eat enough. If you actually wanted our approval, that's what you would have to do. Of course you should do this for yourself, but you don't really care about yourself. It's kind of a last ditch hope to think that they approval of others would change your mind. It shouldn't have to come to that, of course, but this is probably why we're still talking to you.

im still working to change my mindset (know how "easy" that may sound to some) and im hoping that may change as the school year gets going. [ive noticed that when im completely seperated from family, i think clearer, or at least i can focus on improving myself, instead of fearing/feeling miserable]

until then, itd probably be inappropriate to ask for what "eating enough" would mean right? (since i should want to recover myself without approval of others?)

Your self worth has to come from within. Once you stop hating yourself, you may finally want to get better. I don't think any amount of praise from outside, not from your parents, not from anyone can change that. Do something for you. Love yourself.

self worth/guilt/not bashing myself has been a huge issue for me, which extends well beyond food. ironically when the parents let up, i step in as a substitute basher. heh.

if i take the initiative to "do something", should most of the other issues go away? (eg fear to eat 6k+ b/c of guilt from other people's advice that 4k was enough? Or the binging/bad eating habbit fear, etc?)

Let's say a doctor told you you had a poison in your eye. You hate taking eye drops but if you dont take eye drops ten times a day you will go blind and then die. Would you not suck it up and take the eye drops? You are in the same situation. You need to eat more or else your body will stop functioning and ten you will die. If Environ says 6000 cals would be significantly help, then look at it like this: If I dont eat 6000 calories today I will die. Don't look at it like maybe I will eventually die, look at it like I wont live to see tomorrow if I dont. If it was reality that you would have to eat 6000 caloreis tomorrow to live to see Thursday would you be able to suck it up for a day and do it?

id definetly take the eye drops not to go blind.
That said, i have been eating, and gaining, just not very fast? (still gaining on 3.7k-4k but not as fast?) Environ didnt say 6000 calories was what i needed, heh. Said he'd support any Calorie Intake Number i had as long as i was consistent with it/gained. After informing him about the endless starving feeling on 4k, i said id do 6k, but the whole "need approval from somebody that i actually needat least 6k" thing screwed me.

Get out of here man. This is not the thread for that. If you knew what scoch was going through I know you would not be saying that.

thanks guys ^ really appreciate the constant support through all of my repetitive posts. honestly trying to make the change, sorry for being difficult at times.

[Spottydog]

When your body is starved you have an "anabolic rebound" where as you can make incredible gains in muscle memory and general LBM gains with large amounts of food....

God, you make relapsing sound attractive all of a sudden

Just kidding. So I am enjoying this "body study" I'm doing, though some of my advice of avoiding the "thin ideal" is biased towards bbing (subscribe to M&F hers instead of Vogue, etc.)

BTW Scoch... I know that it's easy to get caught up in everything being your fault, but it's not your fault That being said, you CAN BE in control of your recovery if you are motivated to, so Nike (just do it)! This rescheduling is like a gift from God (even though I don't really believe in God, LOL), a second chance. Now is the time (no Obama)

Look at what Mark said ^^^

[Environ]

f*ck, scoch. set goals, and ways to achieve them, and don't let your swayed and fearful thoughts be part of your plan. .

Get out of here man. This is not the thread for that. If you knew what scoch was going through I know you would not be saying that.

I think you missed the grammatical context of his post (which demonstrates how difficult it is to express emotions in text). Notice the comma between the word 'fck' and 'scoch' in his sentence (which, funnily enough, was missing from your quote). What he posted looks similar to saying "for fck sake scoch..." Yeah, it's a bit crude, but I think the right intention was there (and scoch does need to get moving on this now).

[DTrulez616]

I wanna give some advice here. I say on the road to recovery you should take baby steps towards the end of that road. I say this because its basically the approach ive been taking and its working well. Everyday I change something else for the better and it starts to become habit more quickly. I feel if you try to get better too quickly youll just relapse. I tried to change my mindset too fast and quickly relapsed into my old ways. So to wrap it up, take things slowly and dont rush it. I know you want to recover as quickly as possible but things like ED's take time, you arent just gonna wake up and be rid of it.

[Kruczynski]

I wanna give some advice here. I say on the road to recovery you should take baby steps towards the end of that road. I say this because its basically the approach ive been taking and its working well. Everyday I change something else for the better and it starts to become habit more quickly. I feel if you try to get better too quickly youll just relapse. I tried to change my mindset too fast and quickly relapsed into my old ways. So to wrap it up, take things slowly and dont rush it. I know you want to recover as quickly as possible but things like ED's take time, you arent just gonna wake up and be rid of it.

This is true. Perseverance is the key, even if it seems you're falling too many times... it's all about getting up again and do your best to avoid the obstacle that made you fall before. There's a point where you can only do your best to improve and hope for the best... things eventually will settle down.

[DTrulez616]

Tomorrows gonna be a big step for me. No more counting and measuring. School starts back up tomorrow and I cant measure anymore. No more counting either. Just worried about getting in all the calories, protein, and EFA's.

[Kruczynski]

Tomorrows gonna be a big step for me. No more counting and measuring. School starts back up tomorrow and I cant measure anymore. No more counting either. Just worried about getting in all the calories, protein, and EFA's.

That shouldn't worry you either. Do your best, don't stress about it. Like I said before, things eventually settle down.

[Environ]

I wanna give some advice here. I say on the road to recovery you should take baby steps towards the end of that road. I say this because its basically the approach ive been taking and its working well. Everyday I change something else for the better and it starts to become habit more quickly. I feel if you try to get better too quickly youll just relapse. I tried to change my mindset too fast and quickly relapsed into my old ways. So to wrap it up, take things slowly and dont rush it. I know you want to recover as quickly as possible but things like ED's take time, you arent just gonna wake up and be rid of it.

That's what I did. However, some people need to act a bit faster than they are comfortable with.

Tomorrows gonna be a big step for me. No more counting and measuring. School starts back up tomorrow and I cant measure anymore. No more counting either. Just worried about getting in all the calories, protein, and EFA's.

You already subconsciously know what's in the food you eat, so this should not be a problem really. Go to school and enjoy the time with your classmates. Good luck,

[tal1990]

Brit1980 dont panic about it bro, i had it to, its probably just all water weight, dont afraid to increase up the cals, u will gain probobly a bit high weight at first 2 weeks but then youll start to maintance and gain 0.5-1 lbs a week if you do it right, i suggest to you to increase 300 cals every week that you wont get "rebound of fat"

[Brit1980]

Brit1980 dont panic about it bro, i had it to, its probably just all water weight, dont afraid to increase up the cals, u will gain probobly a bit high weight at first 2 weeks but then youll start to maintance and gain 0.5-1 lbs a week if you do it right, i suggest to you to increase 300 cals every week that you wont get "rebound of fat"

Cheers tal1990- I'm starting increase tomorrow, and am feeling quite positive about it. Maybe it's naive, but I want this more now that ever before, so am going to give it everything & monitor.... thanks for ur comments.

[determined4000]

Cheers tal1990- I'm starting increase tomorrow, and am feeling quite positive about it. Maybe it's naive, but I want this more now that ever before, so am going to give it everything & monitor.... thanks for ur comments.

Don't doubt yourself. You can do it this time. Mindset is everything. People can force you to gain weight, and you can go through the motions but until you want it for yourself you can't recover. If you really want it then you will be able to do it.

[scoch]

I wanna give some advice here. I say on the road to recovery you should take baby steps towards the end of that road. I say this because its basically the approach ive been taking and its working well. Everyday I change something else for the better and it starts to become habit more quickly. I feel if you try to get better too quickly youll just relapse. I tried to change my mindset too fast and quickly relapsed into my old ways. So to wrap it up, take things slowly and dont rush it. I know you want to recover as quickly as possible but things like ED's take time, you arent just gonna wake up and be rid of it.

i understand the benefits of "taking it slow".

for me though, iv been under 130 lbs for 12 months +, and the whole "one step at a time" method is partly whats been messing with me. --> Iv been gaining, but not as fast as i could, (eg ill eat 4k, still feel starving, but think "your going to gain anyway since your on a surplus, no need to go faster, even though your hungry) might just be that restriction is second nature for me right now, (why im still asking for a minimum calorie intake i should never go under)

in some cases though, taking one huge step has helped a lot, as it lead to other issues being fixed, eg Zkid/Josh

On another note, today was the first day of school for me. Switched back to my local high school this year, met up with some OLD acquaintances (3 years+ back) and others from last year or so. Hopefully this year will be better than the last (pain/home/depression whise) every single person i met commented on how much weight id lost though, even the friends/people from years ago.

[Aindreas]

i understand the benefits of "taking it slow".

Yeah that's bad advice for you, don't take it.

in some cases though, taking one huge step has helped a lot, as it lead to other issues being fixed, eg Zkid/Josh

In other words, you know what you need to do but you're not going to. Once again because you don't want it.

On another note, today was the first day of school for me. Switched back to my local high school this year, met up with some OLD acquaintances (3 years+ back) and others from last year or so. Hopefully this year will be better than the last (pain/home/depression whise) every single person i met commented on how much weight id lost though, even the friends/people from years ago.

I'm sure you'd be a lot more fun to be around once you gain weight and your hormones and thoughts normalize. Friendships are, in my opinion, the most important thing you have in life next to family. You have a good opportunity to establish a support system, reach out while you can.

[MarkVI]

i understand the benefits of "taking it slow".

for me though, iv been under 130 lbs for 12 months +, and the whole "one step at a time" method is partly whats been messing with me. --> Iv been gaining, but not as fast as i could, (eg ill eat 4k, still feel starving, but think "your going to gain anyway since your on a surplus, no need to go faster, even though your hungry) might just be that restriction is second nature for me right now, (why im still asking for a minimum calorie intake i should never go under)

in some cases though, taking one huge step has helped a lot, as it lead to other issues being fixed, eg Zkid/Josh

On another note, today was the first day of school for me. Switched back to my local high school this year, met up with some OLD acquaintances (3 years+ back) and others from last year or so. Hopefully this year will be better than the last (pain/home/depression whise) every single person i met commented on how much weight id lost though, even the friends/people from years ago.

i know it's tough Scoch but it's time to stop thinking and make eating your job.....Just chow down like none other and get healthy...it's getting very taxing for us to read you put yourself down post after post...no one wants to see that. We want to see you asking for help and asking questions -- not self bashing!

[determined4000]

i know it's tough Scoch but it's time to stop thinking and make eating your job.....Just chow down like none other and get healthy...it's getting very taxing for us to read you put yourself down post after post...no one wants to see that. We want to see you asking for help and asking questions -- not self bashing!

Agreed.

I want to read something new in the forum...like scoch talk about how he self-bashes and says he can't increase intake because of wat others have told him he needs, andreas tells him he is using delay tactics, mark tells him to be a man, and environ gives sound advice and encouragement that goes untaken.

Sorry, just rying to make a little joke. Seriously though, if you couldnt use the words self-bash or 4k calories, could you complete a sentence?

You can do this scoch, you just have to decide you want it.

[MarkVI]

.

How's your recovery going? You look like death in you avatar and it's alarming. You give out good advice so I hope you're walking the walk.

[determined4000]

How's your recovery going? You look like death in you avatar and it's alarming. You give out good advice so I hope you're walking the walk.

My recovery as been going fairly well lately. I look like I do because up until 6-7 weeks ago I had been restricting for over 6 years. Having had an ED for over 6 years and studying nutrition, I feel as though I can give some advice. I see some people on here doing and saying things that i did at the beginning of my ED or while I was deeply in the midst of it so I try to say tings that will keep tem from delving deeper into it. Also, by giving advice it makes me reaffir to myself what I know intellectually to be the case but still have trouble applying to myself. I find being active in the forum keeps me from escaping into irrational ED thinking and hopefully I can help others along the way. And don't worry, I don't plan on tose being the last pictures I post.

[determined4000]

Mark

If you don't mind me asking, as some1 who has never had an ED, I was wondering why you take such interest in this thread?

[MarkVI]

My recovery as been going fairly well lately. I look like I do because up until 6-7 weeks ago I had been restricting for over 6 years. Having had an ED for over 6 years and studying nutrition, I feel as though I can give some advice. I see some people on here doing and saying things that i did at the beginning of my ED or while I was deeply in the midst of it so I try to say tings that will keep tem from delving deeper into it. Also, by giving advice it makes me reaffir to myself what I know intellectually to be the case but still have trouble applying to myself. I find being active in the forum keeps me from escaping into irrational ED thinking and hopefully I can help others along the way. And don't worry, I don't plan on tose being the last pictures I post.

Bro - I fully believe you know what you're talking about and are giving out good advice, but it can ne easy to recover vicariously through others.

Mark

If you don't mind me asking, as some1 who has never had an ED, I was wondering why you take such interest in this thread?

I thought I've explained this mutliple times here so I think it's best if you PM if you're interested -- and this goes for everyone . I have not had an ED but I know the hell you're going through.

[Xhale12]

For anyone who cares the past week has been going great for me. I havent really gained any weight but I am eating NORMAL food and not thinking twice about it. Its amazing how much I missed out on for so long when I had my ED. My mind is so much more free now and I am just such a happier person inside and out. I hope this can motivate anyone who used to be going through what I went through. Take your mind off of food for a couple days and the MENTAL benefits are amazing.

[determined4000]

For anyone who cares the past week has been going great for me. I havent really gained any weight but I am eating NORMAL food and not thinking twice about it. Its amazing how much I missed out on for so long when I had my ED. My mind is so much more free now and I am just such a happier person inside and out. I hope this can motivate anyone who used to be going through what I went through. Take your mind off of food for a couple days and the MENTAL benefits are amazing.

Keep it up. The weight will come.

[MarkVI]

For anyone who cares the past week has been going great for me. I havent really gained any weight but I am eating NORMAL food and not thinking twice about it. Its amazing how much I missed out on for so long when I had my ED. My mind is so much more free now and I am just such a happier person inside and out. I hope this can motivate anyone who used to be going through what I went through. Take your mind off of food for a couple days and the MENTAL benefits are amazing.

I care bro and I'm proud of you. I medidate on that Scripture often....great for perspective!

Keep it up. The weight will come.

He's a boxer at that weight so he doesn't HAVE to gain as long as he's ED free, but I think it'd be best if he gained 30-40lbs.

[determined4000]

He's a boxer at that weight so he doesn't HAVE to gain as long as he's ED free, but I think it'd be best if he gained 30-40lbs.

O, i thought he wanted to gain weight too. Whateve he needs/wants as long as its healthy and his mindset around eating is normal.

[Xhale12]

I care bro and I'm proud of you. I medidate on that Scripture often....great for perspective!



He's a boxer at that weight so he doesn't HAVE to gain as long as he's ED free, but I think it'd be best if he gained 30-40lbs.

Yea im not really in any physical danger because im not at a dangerous weight yet. My ED was much more of a mental thing and Im so glad that I feel like I am getting over it. All of my recovery has really been because of you Mark so god bless. For real man, you are doing a great thing.