Eating Disorder Support Group

**OFF** · 02-25-2003, 11:56 AM

WOW what a story........thanks for being brave and sharing all the details. I can relate, I also lose and then eat my way back to about 240 and have lots of problems binging, but I binge on **** food, at least you binge on chicken and veggies.

I tell people I can't figure it out, when my diet and workout is right on, I feel unbelievable, then for some reason I have a bad day or two and throw it all away, I don't know why, it just happens. Then I recalculate my diet and workout and start over again. This weekend, (Sunday) I went out to eat, had a huge pasta meal and finished it off with a ice cream sundae, then felt like **** the rest of the night. Then Monday morning I hit it again, now Tues, I have two good days going and I feel pretty good, but I still wonder why we can't just stay like this.

And you people that read this and have some stupid comment about willpower or something, keep it to yourself, you don't understand.

**fitforlife** · 02-25-2003, 12:20 PM

Thanks for sharing that migko. Believe me, no one will flame you on this thread because we ALL feel your pain. You are at your low point right now. I have been there. I know what it feels like. You feel like you are all alone on another planet. It takes more than willpower, trust me. You have reached the point that you are at because you were trying for more than perfection. And when you try to reach the unreachable, you will enevitably fail. You have forced your body into a situation that it can no longer function at, and it is simply telling you "no more". You can only treat your body like that for so long until it comes back to bite you.

What got me back on track was totally changing my diet and workout routine. Everytime I felt like binging, I would go to the mirror, stare at myself, and say, "I am addicted to food. I am a foodaholic. I have been (so many days) without binging". For some reason, this worked for me. That and coming to this board and treating it like an accountability group. Take it day by day. I like the quote (I think BigRig said it), "don't focus on perfection, focus on progress." It is a long road back, but you can get there. I have lost most of what I put on over the last 17 weeks. Yea, I have had a few slip-ups along the way, but it is not a race, it is a marathon.

And if all else fails, seek professional help, PLEASE! No one will judge you. Hope this helps.

**migko** · 02-25-2003, 03:26 PM

Thanks for the replies guys. Hey OFF the truth is that i used to cheat on chicken and veggies but later i accepted it as i fact that i binge and at least i thought i can make it with food i like. So i now keep in my house other stuff too , mostly sugary things , so i can binge and due to the immediate insulin response i can get sleepy and take a nap so i can forget what i just did. The truth is that food has lost its meaning for me. And i also don't feel any different whatever i eat.

When i go out with friends , i am always very strict with my diet and i also never drink. All my friends are like : "how can you be so strict?" If only they new...

And i can totally relate to what you said about the reason of why can't we be normal. It takes more than willpower... No one can understand it unless they are into this.

I think that what is happening to me is the revenge of my body for what i put it through those last two years. So i kind of deserve it as nobody made me do it. I was seeking for perfection, neglecting everything else, even my own health and now i am being punished with that curse.

Thanks for the advises fitforlife and i really think it's time for a change in my life. I must decrease my workout volume or maybe take some time off the gym to rest. I am overtrained and tired physically and psychologically. So i might use the break for other facilities which i neglected all this time. I also should try to make up with all my friends that suffered all this time near me. I must stop thinking about it and maybe a week or two off the gym should help . Note that i have never taken over 3-4 days off the gym since i started working out. I even workout on holidays.

As for the mirror thing , u might be right because that way i would put myself in front of my rensponsibilities.I must admit that i avoid looking myself in the mirror because i am bloated all the time and all this water and fat is almost covering my muscle. I have put all my energy into the gym and i am not satisfied with what i look like.
If this goes on ...i will seek professional help no doubt. It seems that it is too much for me to handle.

**persevere** · 02-25-2003, 05:17 PM

hey guys glad to hear everyone is doing pretty well, i'm starting a new diet and am finally getting organized and motivated enough to keep track of my cals, i've been eating the same foods but just not keeping track of them and then when i snack or eat my parents dinners my cals go a bit overboard, but it's been going good the last couple days and i feel lot better. Im still trying to gain, but i'll go at a slower pace this time.

OFF: ya man i totally know how you feel my mom buys so much **** in the house and my sister could eat it all and not gain a pound. I walk into the kitchen and am surrounded by cookies, bowls of nuts chocolates, then open the fridge and there is crap everywhere. I know its bad but like you TRIED to do, i just take a bite and wrap the rest up in paper towel and chuck it in the garbage. The food goes down pretty quick in my house, no one seems to notice that the **** disapears so fast, but as long as it's outta my face. And the thing is everyone else in the house doesnt have the problem of eating them so if i didnt chuck any away they would just lie there for a month probably.

**OFF** · 02-25-2003, 08:09 PM

what I've been doing lately is shoving candy or whatever in my mouth, I chew it up a little, then I spit it in the garbage. I get the taste, and I know I swallow some, but most of it doesn't make it inside me.

kinda screwed up, but it helps.

**janderstein** · 02-25-2003, 08:25 PM

Nah bro dont do that, I mean why trick yourself, and get your hopes up, I opt to not even go near stuff, no touching, smelling, licking nothing. If am going to have it I am having it, no tricks.

**OFF** · 02-25-2003, 08:26 PM

migko,
sounds like a break is long overdue.

I get a lot of crap from my wife because she says I eat, drink, and sleep this stuff. I'm always reading a muscle mag, or something I printed of the internet. I took all last week off, I didn't plan to, I just didn't feel like going to the gym, and before I knew it, a week had passed. I got back on the horse yesterday and today and I feel really good about going again.

I've always felt that if you went to a psych doctor, that is was a sign of weakness. I work in a medical clinic and broke down last year and talked to one I had become freinds with. Hello Prozac. The macho in me would never tell another soul, but the little pill has changed my life. It's not weakness, sometimes your body gets a little screwed up and you need to help it get back in line.

**migko** · 02-26-2003, 03:44 AM

Ok i will do something worse than the mirror trick that fitforlife suggested. Everytime i binge i will come here and i will make myself write down all the food i just ate so i will feel embarassed and sick of myself.I am sitting right here drinking a coke after my huge binge.

Ok here is what i ate during the past half hour :

4cups cottage cheese
8oz chicken breast
one loaf of multigrain bread
one box of wheat crackers
2 apples
one small bottle tomato sauce
1 canned pineapple
15 chocolate chip cookies
4 pieces of cheese-bread
one piece of a leftover birthday cake
3 cokes (i know i should have drunk diet cokes but i only had regular ones ... :-) )

As i am reading what i just wrote i can't really believe i just ate all that stuff. Of course i feel absolutely bloated with my stomach being ready to explode. I feel kind of sleepy too-after all this sugar. At a rough estimate this should be over 2500kcals. I was eating all the food i could find just like a maniac. For a moment i stopped and thought : "i am doing it again,i will feel like **** afterwards, i must stop right now" But i couldn't , it is just like i can't control anything.Also it isn't a solution not to keep bad foods because as you see i can binge on "good" foods also.I am currently writing some exams at my college and i just broke up with my girlfriend so generally it isn't a good period for me. I have to stay at home for a big part of the day so that i can study and this aggrevates my urge to binge.Damn this is a vicious cycle. How i am ever be able to get over it? How did i get into this? Damn.... :-(

Sorry for being melodramatic...but i feel like ****. Later...

**fitforlife** · 02-26-2003, 05:16 AM

Migko, don't let it get to you. I can see that you really need help. I know what it is like. I will stop halfway through a binge myself and think, "you will regret this. Hell, I don't care" To let you in on a little history, I went from 150 to 205 in about 1 1/2 to 2 months binging like every other day. The more you eat, the more you want.

Here are some things that help get your mind off binging:

-Drink a s*** load of water. I mean like 2 gallons + a day.
-Eat a TON of fiber. (I love brocoli so when I feel a binge coming on, I eat like 3-4 stalks of the stuff. It is amazing how that stuff feels you up.
-Make a protien shake. Get one box jello pudding and 2 scoops protien powder. Mix it with water. It is UNBELIEVABLE how good it tastes and it is low calorie. It also feels you up.
-Go for a walk or run. Excercise really helps curve the craving.
-This is going to sound stupid, but brush your teeth. I find that when my mouth is fresh, things don't taste that great and that keeps the cravings away.
-Don't get down in the dumbs. Try taking some St. Johns Wart for depression. Or, take some Garcinea Cambodia to help kill the cravings. These supplements really helped me.
-When all else fails and you have to binge, try eating slow. If you are like me, I shuffle everything in my mouth soooo quick. It takes 20 minutes for whatever you ate to start effecting your system.

I think the one thing that really helped me the most is planning a cheat meal once a week. I would look at something I REALLY craved and would say, "come sunday, you are mine." If gives you something to look forward to all week.

Be strong my man. You can do it. You are not alone. You just have to put your foot down. Trust me, the first two weeks of getting back on the horse were HELL for me. I thought I was going to die. But after those 2 weeks, it got easier. You can do it!

**migko** · 02-26-2003, 08:12 AM

Thanks fitforlife , your help and support means a lot for me. I'll keep all of your suggestions in mind, they seem useful. Do you think that it is a matter of craving food or there is a psychological reason behind all this? I mean , i really don't understand why i am doing this. Most of the times i binge , i'm not really hungry so it shouldn't be a matter of food only.

I'll start from tomorrow, slowly with a planned cheat and with the goal being to get better week by week.I'll keep you posted and let's hope i can make it...

**RippedUp** · 02-26-2003, 08:21 AM

migko,

Read my post concerning serotonin levels - in this thread.

**fitforlife** · 02-26-2003, 08:25 AM

Originally posted by migko
Thanks fitforlife , your help and support means a lot for me. I'll keep all of your suggestions in mind, they seem useful. Do you think that it is a matter of craving food or there is a psychological reason behind all this? I mean , i really don't understand why i am doing this. Most of the times i binge , i'm not really hungry so it shouldn't be a matter of food only.

I'll start from tomorrow, slowly with a planned cheat and with the goal being to get better week by week.I'll keep you posted and let's hope i can make it...

I am not an expert, but I think a lot of it is psychological. We, as bodybuilders, plan our meals. We put a lot of thought in to what we need to eat and what is healthy. Over time, we put so much thought into food, food becomes a HUGE part of life. When we diet or cut, we look forward to each meal. That leads to food becoming an event, or something to make us feel better. When we take it to extremes, it becomes the ONLY thing that makes us feel good. Once that happens, it is all over. I know from experience that after I cheat, although I feel guilty about it, my mood is better. I am not depressed, and I feel better. Like RippedUp said, this borders on chemical inbalances. Just my take on the psychological aspect. Good luck and keep us posted.

**BigRig** · 02-27-2003, 10:17 AM

Hi everyone,

Migko, I feel your pain. Trust me, I have been there, done that (for a long time). And even now, after 6 weeks of eating clean and binge-free, I still fear relapsing into that world that you feel you are trapped in. I definitely feel that the majority of the reason we binge is psychological. After torturing your body, with hours of weights and cardio every week and the same bland foods day in and day out (and in your case drugs as well), eventually the mind just snaps. It's like your mind says, "I have done this long enough, I better take advantage of the good stuff while I can. Because I never know when this psycho is going to start torturing me again."

It is the all or none mentality that propagates the disorder. Like OFF said, you string a couple good days or weeks together, and then all of the sudden you just lose it and start binging like crazy. Nutritionist Keith Klein often uses the analogy of a flat tire to demonstrate how absurd the all or nothing mentality can be. If you were driving and got a flat tire, would you get out and fix the flat tire and be on your way, or would you see the flat tire and frustratedly shoot out the other three good tires? Often in the world of binge-eaters, we do the latter. We have one bad meal, or one bad day, and decide we have "blown it." We then proceed to undo weeks or months worth of progress with uncontrolled binges.

After my last competition, I slowly but surely saw my body go from a ripped 158 pounds to a disgustingly fat 247 pounds (over an 8 year timeframe). The majority of this weight gain was directly caused by binge eating disorder. After so long on strict, unforgiving diets, my mind just could not muster discipline any longer. I always found time during the day to be alone with my favorite binge foods. Many days, as short a time ago as 6 weeks and 1 day ago, I would venture out on my lunch break to the local grocery store. There I would buy a normal lunch (sandwich or something) and some type of sweet binge food. I would then spend time alone in my car eating an entire box of Snickers ice cream bars, or entire boxes of Little Debbie cakes, etc.

Each time I did this (eventually on a daily basis), I felt guilty and out of control. And the worst part was, the shame was so overwhelming, I felt there was no one I could talk to about this. I tried talking to my wife a couple years ago and she was very disturbed. She approached it like if I cheated on my diet (i.e. binged) I was cheating on her. She just did not understand.

So trust me. I understand EXACTLY how you feel, as do many others who participate in this thread. The good news is that you can beat this thing. First off, you have to believe you can beat it. No matter how many times you have tried and failed, success still lies within your grasp. The key is finding out what works best for you. Although I am far from an expert on the subject of beating this disorder, as I have only been binge-free for 6 weeks now, I do speak from a lot of experience. Below is a list of key elements I have found that have contributed to my recent success.

1. Try to structure a reasonable diet. Don't restrict yourself too much. Over-restriction leads to the unavoidable desire to go overboard. In my case, I eat a bodybuilding diet, but I eat many foods that other bodybuilders would probably shun. For example, I eat Easy Mac (39g carbs and only 6g fat per pack and very tasty), Easy Pasta (39g carbs and only 3g fat), natural peanut butter, low fat quesadillas (made with flour tortillas, fat-free cheese, chicken breast and salsa), etc. By utilizing these tasty foods on a daily basis, I avoid the need for a weekly cheat day or cheat meal, because I never really want "bad" stuff like I used to.

2. Use other foods such as those suggested by Fitforlife to fend off cravings (sugar free jello, pickles, peppers, veggies, etc.).

3. Come here often to keep yourself accountable.

4. Focus on progress, not perfection. As Fitforlife said, striving to attain the unattainable (perfection) will lead to failure EVERY time.

5. Never give up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck Migko. I am sorry my post is so long. But I can hear (read???) the desperation in your posts and I truly feel for you. I have been clean now for 6 weeks, and it has truly been the happiest 6 weeks I have experienced in a long time. I only hope that others experiencing this difficult disorder can learn from my ordeal in some small way.

Keep up the fight!!!

**BigRig** · 02-27-2003, 10:21 AM

Hi again,

In addition to my previous post, I thought I would fill everyone in on my current progress. I am now down to 232. I started out at 246.5 about 6 weeks ago. Also, according to caliper measurements, I have gained muscle during the process, so my fat loss is actually more than 14.5 pounds. I feel so much better about myself now than I have in a long time. I hope everyone is doing well.

BigRig

**BigRig** · 02-27-2003, 10:26 AM

P.S.

Sugar free mints and gum are also great for keeping the mouth occupied and fending off cravings to binge!

**janderstein** · 02-27-2003, 10:29 AM

Mr. Rig, you keep it up brother, I have been there, not as far on either side of the spectrum as you, but in my world I was there. It takes a real man to admit to others his problems, and I commend you for that. As far as your plan goes that is awesome, and I am glad to hear you are seeing such great success, this is a game for life, and I know you understand that, and it is evident in the way you are planning ahead. I admire the fact that you are dediacted to doing what is right for you and your body, keep it up. Like a good friend of mine likes to say approach this whith "unstoppable confidence" I like to go with "intense focus" but both are pretty symetrical, and both can be applied to better ones life, keep it up bro, and God bless

**fitforlife** · 02-27-2003, 10:34 AM

It is really wild to hear from everyone in this thread explaining what bad habits they went through and how much I can relate. I use to do the same thing RippedUp just stated. I would go out at lunch sometimes to the grocery store, buy a tub of peanut butter, M&M's, and chocolate bars and just sit in my car and eat. They I would go driving and go the the Krispy Kreme shop down the street and order 6 creme filled doughnuts. It makes me sick just thinking about it now.

Although it disgusts me to think about it, I can slowly feel myself slipping back into that scenario again. I have made it down to 167lbs from 205lbs in 18 weeks. ALthough I am very happy with my progress, I find myself thinking about food a lot more lately. On top of that, my sex drive has deminished again. I haven't measured my bf % lately, but I would guess I was down to about 8-10%. I am trying to adjust things so that I don't fall into the same trap as I did last summer. After I run a local race in another month, I am going to start a slow, clean bulking cycle. I think that I have just restricted my calories too long.

Glad to hear that you are doing well RippedUp. It is unbelievable how this thread has really helped me through this problem of mine. Hopefully, it will help me from it occurring again.

Mikgo, keep us posted. I want a daily report on your progress. I find that when someone is expecting something out of me, I bust my a** to try to accomplish it.

**OFF** · 02-27-2003, 10:56 AM

FFF, thank God the closest Krispy Kreme shop is over 100 miles away from me. We just have those sucky super market donuts around here so it's not too hard to pass on them.

To back up what BigRig said. I didn't try to stop binging, I just tried to stop throwing the whole day away and eating everything in site after a slip, or after a bad day, getting back on the horse right away the next day after a bad day. Baby steps.

Binged on Sunday, now Thurs and I have been clean 4 days. I had a Hersey kiss today but somehow stopped at one, then got out my tuna and celery.

BTW, my screen name, OFF, stands for Old Fat ****, which is how I felt when I registered,
"but I'm feeling much better, nudge, nudge, wink, wink......"

**BigRig** · 02-27-2003, 11:44 AM

OFF,

Maybe you will be able to one day change that acronym so that it means "Outstanding & Fat Free"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BigRig

**fitforlife** · 02-28-2003, 05:22 AM

DAMN! DAMN..DAMN..DAMN!!! Well, fellas, just call me a hypocrit! Here I am trying to tell everyone how to ward off a binge attack, and I go off on the mother of all binges last night!

I could feel it coming on while I was writing on these boards yesterday. Something just didn't feel right. You would think that after a few 1000 binges that I have had, I could see it coming. But, I thought that my willpower would overcome it. BIG MISTAKE! I should know by now that that doesn't work. I think the thing that broke me was that my wife had just got finished cooking a meal to bring to a pregnant friend on bed rest. The meal itself was healthy, but she had made some Ghirdelli brownies as desert to go with the meal (one of my all time favorite deserts). The smell hit me like a ton of bricks as I walked in the door. Well, if wouldn't have been so bad if the brownies would have left with the rest of the meal. But, my wife made an extra batch for herself (my wife has the metabolism of a 7 year old and can eat anything without gaining a pound....an extreme drawback for an endomorph like me that puts on 5 pounds just from the smell). Well, she left to take the meal to the friend with the home batch right on the oven. Well, I went to town on them. Along with half a tub of peanut butter, 1/4 gallon of ice cream, and about a half a bag of M&M's. Boy, old habits die hard.

I am telling everyone this (even though I am embarrased as hell about it) to let everyone know NOT to let your guard down and LISTEN to your body. I know the reason that this happened was because I went to low on calories. My body was trying to tell me that, but I wouldn't listen. No matter how on track you THINK you are, your body will let you know if something is wrong. But, on the bright side of things. At least I didn't eat so much that I puked like I did about 4 weeks ago. That is pretty sad when that is the bright side of things.

**OFF** · 02-28-2003, 06:18 AM

You Too!!!!!

I was being cocky about going 4 days yesterday. I only made it three and a half. I got home last night to find 2 tubs of grandma's sugar cookies, it wasn't pretty after that.

I also was low on calories yesterday as I didn't make all the food I needed the night before.

Then I was depressed so I didn't make any food for today, but I got up this morning and made it all before work. Back on the horse.

I don't need to go to the gym anymore. I get enough of a workout getting on and off that horse all the time.

**BigRig** · 02-28-2003, 06:29 AM

Now let's do 4 sets of horse leaps, 4 sets of pint-of-ice cream curls, and 4 sets of peanut butter presses and call it a workout!

Seriously guys, don't worry about the slip-ups. Just get back on that horse and ride it like you mean it. Your body will always tell you what it needs. Instead of giving in to your mind's desire to binge, give your body what it needs, some protein, carbs, and fat. Then you can avoid the binge urges to begin with.

**fitforlife** · 02-28-2003, 06:29 AM

Sorry to hear that OFF. Ha, you made it 4 days. Get back on that horse and this time shoot for a week and reward yourself with a cheat meal. Set small goals.

Yea, I was cocky as well. I was feeling good about my weight and feeling like the king of the hill. I think that I am going to calculate my calories next week for maintaining my weight so that I can settle myself and rethink my priorities. Heck, it may be that I am way too low on my calories.

Right now, I am at about 2000-2100 calories a day. My p/c/f ratio is about 50%/30%/20%. I do cardio 6 days a week (HIT training for 30 minutes 4 days; an hour for 2 days) and workout 4 days a week. I am thinking about pumping that up to 2500 calories next week just to stabalize myself and reevaluate my workout and diet. I think that my body could use the rest after cutting for 18 weeks. Something is not working right all of a sudden because I am not as lively any more and my sex drive is deminishing. Last night was definitely a wake up call.

**BigRig** · 02-28-2003, 09:54 AM

Daaaaammmmm!!!!!!!! That's a lot of cardio. Especially HIT. Fit, you are probably just overtrained all to hell and that is why you feel so crappy lately. Try scaling back the cardio for a while and upping the cals slightly.

**rudy5970** · 03-01-2003, 08:56 AM

Whats up guys, this is my first time posting on this board but i have been reading here for about a year now.
I'll begin with as a kid i was always fat, as a junior in highschool i was 5 foot 3(I'm a late bloomer) and 165 pounds just about all fat. Then i decided to lose the weight and last year(senior in highschool) i dropped down to 132 pounds with a height of 5 foot 6 by the middle of february. I was lifting during this time, but my low calories allowed to put on no muscle. My friends and family at this time were starting to get worried with me and id often get comments that i was to skinny but i still felt fat. I didnt eat much during this time, my diet would be periods of starvation then binging This is when i was introduced to these boards. By august, i developed enough courage to bulk. In 6 months i have increased my weight from 135 to 170. Well now its time to start cutting the right way, no more starving myself.
I just want to say thank you to everyone on these boards, without you, i would still be that 132 pounds kid with a small amount of muscle. thanks to everyone and keep up the good work

**blatopilot** · 03-01-2003, 09:09 AM

Originally posted by fitforlife
I am not an expert, but I think a lot of it is psychological. We, as bodybuilders, plan our meals. We put a lot of thought in to what we need to eat and what is healthy. Over time, we put so much thought into food, food becomes a HUGE part of life. When we diet or cut, we look forward to each meal. That leads to food becoming an event, or something to make us feel better. When we take it to extremes, it becomes the ONLY thing that makes us feel good. Once that happens, it is all over. I know from experience that after I cheat, although I feel guilty about it, my mood is better. I am not depressed, and I feel better. Like RippedUp said, this borders on chemical inbalances. Just my take on the psychological aspect. Good luck and keep us posted.

Fit, your are 115% right on this....this not only pertains to bodybuilders, but many overweight people. Food replaces something in one's life. It becomes the event you mention.The real danger is you can eat as much as you want, but it will never replace what you are looking for....Than the cycle starts, the mentality of "If I'm going to be fat anyway, I might as well have" ______(insert favorite junk food). And the unlucky ones can't get off this merry-go-round.

That is why I feel after going through all of this, it is so important to have a hobby/life outside of this life style. Or better yet, find out what is the cause of the void in your life, and if you know it, say it out loud, make yourself deal with it. Than learn to woodwork or something, sometimes things you think are improving your health can take away from it.

Stay up fellas, keep fighting, but more importantly stay smiling....

**rleeson** · 03-01-2003, 09:26 AM

I'm glad to hear that Rudy... I've been there so I understand... It's great to hear that you've started to take control back sooner rather than later... You have friend here that know the pain. Even if we can't directly help there are people here that understand and are in your corner for you... Good Luck... you'll love being the "new you" you're creating...

keep us posted on your progress... We really do care...

Rob--

Originally posted by rudy5970
Whats up guys, this is my first time posting on this board but i have been reading here for about a year now.
I'll begin with as a kid i was always fat, as a junior in highschool i was 5 foot 3(I'm a late bloomer) and 165 pounds just about all fat. Then i decided to lose the weight and last year(senior in highschool) i dropped down to 132 pounds with a height of 5 foot 6 by the middle of february. I was lifting during this time, but my low calories allowed to put on no muscle. My friends and family at this time were starting to get worried with me and id often get comments that i was to skinny but i still felt fat. I didnt eat much during this time, my diet would be periods of starvation then binging This is when i was introduced to these boards. By august, i developed enough courage to bulk. In 6 months i have increased my weight from 135 to 170. Well now its time to start cutting the right way, no more starving myself.
I just want to say thank you to everyone on these boards, without you, i would still be that 132 pounds kid with a small amount of muscle. thanks to everyone and keep up the good work

**ANF_california** · 03-02-2003, 06:37 AM

Hey everyone, I'm new here so this is my first time posting but I've been reading everyone's posts on this thread for a couple days now and I gotta say...fit, I'm in the EXACT same boat as you are.

Last summer, I started getting interested in fitness, I joined a gym and eventually worked up to going about 3X/week and doing AB workouts every other day. I learned that I needed to pay attention to nutrition also so that took a lot of time too (just researching what TO eat and what NOT to eat). I ended up losing about 18 lbs and I was really toned (went from 145 lbs down to 126 lbs and I'm 5'9"). By the end of July, I'd sometimes have days, maybe like 1 or 2, out of the week where I'd over eat and I'd feel guilty after, but it was never to the point where I was feeling sick. By September, I started to eat till I felt sick to my stomach and bloated 2-3 nights a week. It continued like that up until Christmas where it turned into 4 nights a week and now as I'm sitting here, I've been CLEAN for 2 days (this is my 3rd day) and I'm finally vowing to TAKE CONTROL over this because last week, I binged 6 DAYS IN A ROW!

I didn't even exercise because I was also injured. As of Friday, I'm back on track and I'm planning on staying on track. Though I gotta say, I'm SO scared because I ALWAYS say I'm gonna stay on track but end up binging not too long after. I'm hoping that this board will help me out (I'm pretty sure that it will though!). I would like to be back down at 130 lbs (due to the binge-eating, I'm back up at 141 lbs) so I'm hoping you all can help me out!

*ANF_california

**ANF_california** · 03-02-2003, 06:57 AM

Wanted to add one more thing...I just read this quote in a magazine and I wanted to put it up here...

"Nothing tastes as good as how being in control feels" -Annonymous

I'm gonna try to remember that!

**migko** · 03-02-2003, 02:29 PM

Hey guys ,

Sorry for not posting the last few days, but i as you can remember the last time i posted i was in a very bad psychological condition so i took my girlfriend and went for a small vacation away from the gym and food restrictions. I think this has actually helped me. I didn't binge at all these days neither did i feel the need to. Of course these says i was eating like a normal person and not as a bodybuilder , also i didn't train at all. I feel somewhat refreshed but i am thinking of returning to the gym next week so as to rest some more. Physically i feel strong but psychologically i am fed up with the bodybuilder lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, i love to lift-i'll propably do it as long as i am alive but all this heavy training i think it has made serious damage on my nervous system.

Bigrig thanks for the post man, i can completely relate to what you've said and your experience means a lot to me. Of course , i will add variety into my diet from now on. I mean , look where the so called bodybuilder meals have brought me to.

Fitforlife thanks for your interest, of course i will keep u posted from now on. You are helping me by offering support so i consider you my friends.

Hi ANF_California , as you can see , we all can relate to your problem. Stay here , read the posts, post yourself and you will feel better. It's very important to know that you are not alone.
Hang in there, be strong and welcome to the group.

Thread: Eating Disorder Support Group

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