Eating Disorder Support Group

[WillieInc]

I read every one of these posts in this section, and reading everyone's stories are helpful.

A technique you may want to try to stop the binging is this: the next time you put a cake into your mouth, chew it, but don't swallow it. Instead, take it out of your mouth, and look at it. Throw it out, but make sure you had a good look at it. It may sound gross and strange, but believe it or not, they use that in hospitols to help people who eat a lot and can't help it. You have to gross yourself out.

I do not consider myself some expert or anything. My god, I am learning more everyday, especially with this site alone. If I could put my input in and inspire or help anyone, it makes all the pain I went through worth it.

The funny thing about me now is, although i still have those "fat" thoughts lingering in me head (especially at night wen I lay down to go to sleep), but when I look in the mirror, I actually see a skinny guy with skinny arms who has a lot of work ahead of him. Sometimes I see the fat person, but now it's mostly the skinny person. I know one day I may even be the muscular person who thinks he is too skinny, but that's probably better than thinking I'm too fat. Right now, I am skinny, so it's ok to see the skinny person, and use him to inspire my work outs to be harder, and eat properly.

Originally posted by SteR-
damn willie, congratulations on the turnaround! Sounds like you had a pretty tough childhood when it came to dieting.
I sort've know where you're coming from as I've been in the same sort of situation but nowhere near as extreme.
I've always been kinda chunky throughout my life. Ever since I was about 8 I was teased about being a bit fatter than all of my friends. I had a lot of friends but I never had any girlfriends or anything as I was constantly teased about my weight.
This carried on until when I was bout 14 where things started getting serious and I had a serious eating disorder. I remember I used to come home from school and stop off at the shops afterwards. I used to steal a few pounds from my mum's wallet in the morning (awful I know - I still feel guilty about it now ). Anyway there I'd buy like 10 bars of chocolate and then go home and gorge. Before I knew it I was 16 and was ridiculously obese.
My parents started getting really worried and my mum did everything she could (along with my gran and dad) to get me into shape. I'm incredibly grateful to them for doing this as eventually my mum signed me up to a gym. Also at this time I was getting bullied a lot and despite still having a lot of friends I felt incredibly lonely as whilst they were all out with girls I was sitting at home stuffing my face and sitting on my computer.
Anyways as I said my mum signed me up to the gym and she used to take me and wait for me whilst I did some exercise.
At first though I didn't put any effort into it at all. My mum used to wait downstairs and I'd just sit on one of the machines and do like 10 reps every half an hour until I thought I'd spent enough time to fool my mum.
So I did this for a few months and then one day one of my best friends got me invited to this houseparty. It was the first one I'd been to and there I met some really great people (who are now my best friends) and I even met one girl who liked me! (despite me being a fat git!).
THIS was the turnaround point and from here on I started watching what I ate and running a lot. After about a year I lost nearly 100lbs and was feeling pleased about how I looked! I was also getting attention from girls which rocked my world lol and I think it was the only time in my life that I was actually happy (during the summer holidays).
So when I turn about 17 I start getting really into bodybuilding (can't remember how but I know I was always interested in it). I start to lift weights and put on a bit of muscle. However as I got more and more into my bodybuilding I became more and more self concious. I was still a bit chubby (about 15-17% bodyfat) but I was by no means obese however I felt that I was. I don't know why but the image I had of myself being fat seemed to stick with me and until this day I still feel fat. At this time I began to keto diet and this is also when I got into binge eating.
The thing is I'd eat like nothing during the week and then on the weekends I'd stuff my face silly with cakes etc.
I eventually gave up on keto and during the summer of 2002 I think it was I actually put 100% effort into my weight loss and managed to drop from about 20% to around 9%. I didn't cheat once and was amazingly good with my diet.
The end of summer came and I moved off to university and because summer was over and my shirt was back on I didn't give a **** about my diet and just ate crap and drank loads of beer. I put on a tonne of weight and eventually realised I needed to do something about it.
That leads me to my current situation as ever since I started uni I've been pretty good with my diet during the week but then I binge like crazy on the weekends. I don't know WHY I do it but I just do and I HATE it. The silly thing is that every time I binge I say to myself that ok 'from tomorrow onwards I wont touch another chocolate or piece of cake or anything'. This lasts about a week or 2 and then of course the same thing happens.
I would do anything to get over this habit but I just dont' know how. Whenever I eat something bad I feel terrible and say to myself 'well you've blown this day, you may aswell carry on binging today and then carry on dieting tomorrow'. Of course one day turns into about a week and before I know it I've put more fat on!
I'm currently about 20-22% bodyfat and I really want to lose the fat but my binging is just screwing me over.

Anyways I'm real sorry to have gone on for so long lol but I just though I'd share my story

[Mike83]

I went thru some pretty bad binges, but it was due to Marijuana, one day I ate a whole cake mix, without cooking it! I just prepared it and ate it, I also was crazy about sugar, I would even eat it raw. I ate some pretty odd creations.

Now that my Marijuana usage is under control, I no longer eat like that thank god.
But I still get some urges to even when im not high. Instead I will drink water and eat something healthy.

[ingmar]

Hey there

I have a problem. about 2 years ago I started bodybuilding,
I weight only 65.5 kg while I was 1.98m tall. So I started eating
and training a lot and 18 month later I weight 82.5 kg, then I stopped. I'm having problems with my diet, I'm a natural skinny guy, and I never feel hungrey. But after some time I got used to eating a lot. I ate regularly, 5 or 6 meals a day, as a whole something like 12 to 16 sixteen slices of bread a few egs, half a liter of oatmeal porridge, a big meal in the evening and a small bowl of curd cheese before I went to bed. But because of all this eating I started to feel very stressed and nauxius, like that you are trembling as if you've drunk 5 cups coffee or something. When I would go out to a discotheque or something, I would get sick because I didn't eat for a few hours. It got worse until I got sick every week.
I went to my docter and he just did what they all do, he ran some tests, concluded all my bloodlevels were perfect, and just gave me some pills to deal with it (these were to empty my stomach more quickly). They helped a little bit, but still I felt nauxius every day. I stopped training because of this, eated less and less, lost 8 kg, but felt ok. Now I want to start again, but this time without getting nauxius. Has anyone experienced this, and what did you do to solve this. Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it that you help me in achieving my goales.

[Mike83]

^hi, I would say if you are trying to gain weight, then you should eat things that taste good to you. Dont just eat bread, eat meat, eat some fats, they will make you feel good.

[Tick Tick Boom]

I'm 20. In the past year year I went from 240 to 160. I currently weigh less than how much I weighed when I was 14. Sick, huh? Oh well. I did little workout during the past year, only about 3 months, on and off. Most of my weight loss is from dieting.

My problem:

I try not to eat or eat the least amount of food. Sometimes I feel that if I eat even a small amount that i'm gaining weight. So I mostly just fill myself up with lemonade made (lemon juice + splenda) or diet coke or water. That's about it. I'm afraid that if I eat something that I gain weight hella fast and that i'll be humongous again. But within a week that I feel that i've eating 'too much', I just keep eating and eating that day and stop before 12 a.m. the next day and try to not eat for a few days, or eat minimal and just fill myself up with liquid. Blehhhh.

Thanks for reading haha. Peace.

[hotgymchick]

Originally posted by WillieInc
I read every one of these posts in this section, and reading everyone's stories are helpful.

A technique you may want to try to stop the binging is this: the next time you put a cake into your mouth, chew it, but don't swallow it. Instead, take it out of your mouth, and look at it. Throw it out, but make sure you had a good look at it. It may sound gross and strange, but believe it or not, they use that in hospitols to help people who eat a lot and can't help it. You have to gross yourself out.

I do not consider myself some expert or anything. My god, I am learning more everyday, especially with this site alone. If I could put my input in and inspire or help anyone, it makes all the pain I went through worth it.

The funny thing about me now is, although i still have those "fat" thoughts lingering in me head (especially at night wen I lay down to go to sleep), but when I look in the mirror, I actually see a skinny guy with skinny arms who has a lot of work ahead of him. Sometimes I see the fat person, but now it's mostly the skinny person. I know one day I may even be the muscular person who thinks he is too skinny, but that's probably better than thinking I'm too fat. Right now, I am skinny, so it's ok to see the skinny person, and use him to inspire my work outs to be harder, and eat properly.

To a point thats true. I'm at the worst I've ever been in my eating disorder and spend hours in front of the mirror solely to degrade myself.

[Mike83]

every time i look in the mirrow, im always looking for negative things and never focus on the good things.

[WillieInc]

Seriously, find out how many calories/protein/fat/carbs you, personally, should consume in one day, and spread them out through out the day, eating every three hours. *Generally* the average person gets 2,000-2,500 calories a day. Look on the main web site for nutrient calculators that determine the rest for you. As for me, when I started to eat again, I stuck with 2500 calories, 75grams of fat, 300 grams of protein, and 350 grams of protein. In one week, I thought I was going to gain hella weight, and I didn't. To my surprise, I lost 5 pounds. Eating every three hours is the best thing I ever incorperated into my life. It may take time to write everything down, but I am determined to get this body of mine to its best.

Originally posted by Tick Tick Boom
I'm 20. In the past year year I went from 240 to 160. I currently weigh less than how much I weighed when I was 14. Sick, huh? Oh well. I did little workout during the past year, only about 3 months, on and off. Most of my weight loss is from dieting.

My problem:

I try not to eat or eat the least amount of food. Sometimes I feel that if I eat even a small amount that i'm gaining weight. So I mostly just fill myself up with lemonade made (lemon juice + splenda) or diet coke or water. That's about it. I'm afraid that if I eat something that I gain weight hella fast and that i'll be humongous again. But within a week that I feel that i've eating 'too much', I just keep eating and eating that day and stop before 12 a.m. the next day and try to not eat for a few days, or eat minimal and just fill myself up with liquid. Blehhhh.

Thanks for reading haha. Peace.

[WillieInc]

Please stop degrading yourselves! Instead, try to use the mirror as a tool. It is not as easy as it sounds! I'm still trying. Try this: for every negative thing you see, write it down, and then write TWO positive things you see, and if you don't see anything positive, keep looking until you find it!

[SteR-]

Aargh I've been eating junk all this week! It's an utter disaster and I just can't stop binge eating. I'm not really sure why I do it but I just can't seem to stop. EVERY damn day I've been saying to myself 'ok I'll eat as much crap as I want today and then that's it and I'll never eat any more junk again." Next day comes and of course I'm eating junk again and I say the same thing to myself. This cycle seems to go on and on and on and on and I'm getting fatter and fatter.
2 summers ago I was in the best shape of my life and actually managed to give up alcohol and all junk food for about 3 months and dropped down to sub 10% bodyfat.
2 years later and I'm over 20% and I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to lose it.
I think the biggest problem out of all of this is I'm not sure whether to cut or to bulk. I'm every serious about my football and as some of you may know strength is very important and I'm scared that if i cut I'll lose a lot of strength and if I bulk.. well.. then I'll stay fat but I'll get stronger. I'm so confused about what to do and my mind changes every damn day.
It's also a major problem that I'm at university and of course I love to drink. So even if I do bust my ass I seem to piss a lot of my efforts away by drinking beer.
I really am in such a stew at the minute because I look at myself in the mirror and just think wtf have I turned into. I just really don't know what to do right now and I'm getting so depressed about it

[Luis A.]

Hi guys,
i know that i`m not a regular poster on the boards but i have been reading through this thread and man, do i understand how many of you feel.
When i was younger `till i was 16 years old i was always a fat and chubby kid but one day i decided to lose weight, this was during the summer of 2002, and i was able to lose around 25 to 30 Kg but i didn`t notice but i was getting into a paranoid state when i just ate enough to live.To me losing weight was somewhat like a demonstration of my force of will and every Kg that i lost seemed like a victory, it was never enough, i was always trying to go further and lose even more weight it didn`t matter how.I just wanted to try and and be ripped and have some abs showing...this may seem like a stupidity to many people but to me (an ex fat kid) to have some abs showing has always been my dream.
So, i worked out intensively since then doing weights and cardio along with a strict diet but i don`t know why i have never been able to get my abs to show, instead i just have alot of "loose" skin in my abdominal area which can be worst than fat since i do not know how to solve this issue.This situation along with my failure in obtaining some abs have driven me into a state where i have no more will to work out nor live.This may sound kind of dramatic to many people but those who have body issues will understand how it feels.
I apologize for my long post and for my english but i`m portuguese so my english may not be the best.
And i would also like to thank you guys who are reading this and who care because i think i would have never been able to say this in person to anyone so thanks for reading through.

[Mike83]

^i understand how you feel.

I have never been able to seen any abs, ive always been very overweight until a few years ago, i lost alot of weight and worked very hard but i still have loose skin on my abs, i know what you mean, but im not gonna give up, you have have the right diet and keep lifting i believe.

[WillieInc]

I have had my fair share of loose skin, as well as stretch marks, myself, and it is very frustrating. Definately eating the right foods and the right excercises tightens the skin. More importantly, it's nutrition. Remember the important key: abs are made in the kitchen, not in the gym! I know from experience. You can do abdminal excercises all day everyday, but if you do not eat right, you will never acheive them. Starving yourself gets them, but the faster you get abs, the faster they go away, as well. Starving yourself actually gives you temporary abs that quickly turn into a pot belly from malnutrition. I had that as well. It usually starts as a flab of skin, a lot of times it has a slight discolorization to it. No matter how many abs I did (up to 4,000 a day), my stomach still protruded....and the reason- I wasn't eating. Believe it or not- proper nutrition will grant your dreams.

My current proof that I don't even believe:

In the bulking work out program I am following, it doesn't call for abdominal excercises. In fact, in the past 6 weeks, since I started this, I haven't done one ab excercise. I thought the little abs I had would dimish quickly. Oddly enough, I have a visible 6 pack and tighter skin. The reason- nutrition!

Originally posted by Mike83
^i understand how you feel.

I have never been able to seen any abs, ive always been very overweight until a few years ago, i lost alot of weight and worked very hard but i still have loose skin on my abs, i know what you mean, but im not gonna give up, you have have the right diet and keep lifting i believe.

[Mike83]

^congrats!!!!!

Thats excellent to hear.

Myself, would love to see abs. Its a dream.
Im in a cutting phase right now, I am eating the best I have in my life. I hope it pays off.

[WillieInc]

Thanks! You will see abs. Just stick to eating right. It will pay off. I never thought something as simple as eating the right foods could do so much. This website pretty much saved my life.

Originally posted by Mike83
^congrats!!!!!

Thats excellent to hear.

Myself, would love to see abs. Its a dream.
Im in a cutting phase right now, I am eating the best I have in my life. I hope it pays off.

[hiphop]

does anyone have any problems eating, i believe and all my friends believe that i eat too much.

on average i eat a whole chicken a day a tin of tuna, half a loaf of brown bread and half a apacket of pasta and its really hard for me to feel full up or at max it lasts for half an hour does anyone else have similar problems

[kj6754]

I feel what you are saying hip hop. I could eat all that in a day and even more if I allowed myself to. Its very hard for me to fill myself up and feel full. I don't know if its because I might have a fast metabolism or if im just being greedy

[LadyTrex]

well I have been doing a pretty fair diet with about a 40/40/20 split as far as protein carbs and fats go and keeping my calories to under 1800 a day and the weight is coming off and my energy level is good... and I am doing some light workouts at home with some hand weights and some cardio up and down the stairs.
D/t Ma's needs I dont get the sleep I ought to but 5 hours in bed and a couple hours in a recliner is working ..not well but its working
I am having a problem with thinking I am eating too much on cheat day (sunday) and purging afterwards tho... I know I got to quit thinking like that and just be patient,,

And on a lighter note after years of a temptation free drive home they are opening an IHOP right next to where I work ... damn ..this is gonna be tough LOL ohhh God I love that place

[rleeson]

Originally posted by LadyTrex
.... And on a lighter note after years of a temptation free drive home they are opening an IHOP right next to where I work ... damn ..this is gonna be tough LOL ohhh God I love that place

The old you might be tempted but not the new you.... IHOP won't move you closer to your goals.... so you want nothing to do with them....

Rob--

[LadyTrex]

I agree rleeson ... at least I dont have the time to stop at IHOP now ...LOL..when I get out of work I have to race home so the aid or the nurse can leave..
at least for today I can eat healthy and not feel the need to overeat and then purge//
my goal is to see my ab's again and to get back what I have lost in the past year..
I can do this and will stay the course .. I want it back ..when I was in this real heavy a couple years back some of the local lifters offered to coach me into power lifting competitions and some of the local BB competions..thats my goal.. I want that kind of health and fitness level back. I dont need to compete but its nice to be considered good enough to compete.
I want the burn back

[Zinkcus]

Bingeing is very common with bodybuilders. After all, its not uncommon to hear of bodybuilders gaining 30, 40, 50 lbs of weight after a contest. Most of us have "free days" where we overeat on junk we would normally not have. The amount of over eating tends to be linked with how many calories you ate during the week. Diet at 2,000 calories for days, don't expect a few extra chocolate bars to be enough, once you grab a taste of them.

Zinkcus

[Zinkcus]

I believe the solution to binge eating is in 2 actions: increase you daily calorie needs, increase your daily calorie intake.

Start by eatting a high calorie diet full of fibers, proteins, and veggies. Even as short as a few days after increasing your healthy food intake, you'll start to feel much less hunger. If you "mess up" and have some junk food, you won't need 5,000 calories worth of it to feel full; a good 500-1500 calories and you'll be most satisfied. You can work off 500-1500 calories of extra junk food easy by increasing your activity or cardio over the next 2-3 days, problem solved.

Given most of you are already workout out with weights, you might want to increase your weekly cardio as well. The more cardio you do; the more healthy, balanced, high fiber meals you can have; which keeps you full and anyway from massive bingeing. Try working your cardio up to the point where you are doing 45 minutes of it each morning. 45 minutes of cardio burns 500-750 calories easy, and done first thing in the morning, you can expect another 200-400 calories more burned over the day by an increased metabolism. That's 700-1150 calories more a day, which is about two more 400-600 calorie meals you can add to your daily intake. 2 such extra meals every day does a lot to reduce your bingeing habit.

Another helpful tip is to make sure your full at night. Don't go hungry at night, you'll end up bingeing on high calorie foods. Have yourself a filling dinner; and another fiber rich meal right before bed. Don't worry about the meal turning to fat; if you workout with weights, its going to your muscles as long as its well balanced. The whole idea of not eating right before bed is for people who don't workout at all, not bodybuilders.

I hope this helped.

[Jo_19]

wow, after reading alot of posts on this thread i see am not alone. i've sorta had this problem with food for a while, well ever since i remember noticeing my body or how i look i've always found myself fat. I've always been really into sports though and do a fair bit of excersise but i'll eat clean for a few days then i'll just lose it and eat anything in site...arggg i hate it. i'll get so freaken full that i go purge then i'll feel so bad about myself after. and its always the same ol' tomorrow will be different, i'll stick to my diet sorta thing. but i never do!!!! it makes me soooooo mad that i won't go out with my friends cause i feel so crapy and fat. anyway... thanks for listening cause i'm way to scared to tell anyone i know.

oh and Zinkcus i'm defenitly going to follow alot of your advice in your last post. thanks for the tips

[NicktheRoofer]

I have to say, I am damned touched to read your stories.. it definently inspires and motivates me to see people helping eachother out, this thread has meaning. Im Nick, 19 years old.. to everyone im a nice, easy going kid.. treats with respect, a real happy sport.. who really seems to have his head on straight, no problems with the kid at all. Not to blow my own horn, but I have heard things like 'why cant you be more like Nick'

But Nick has a darkside, a whole nother side to him. You see, my reason of being is to pretty much 'forcefield' the real side to me. I AM a FREAK about my weight appearance.. frankly just my whole body image. I always bounce from 150-165 sometimes to even 170. I always had this goal weight of 145 for as long as I can remember. Now that Ive graduated high school, I've had lots of time to think about diets and training. I do train and do manual labor.. I am in decent shape 'I have to say.' But deep down I hate myself, and the way I look. I hate myself because of my desire for food. I am so damn emotionally attached to foods and diets that it drives me insane.. bigtime. Everyday of dieting is a failure now. Sure, ill survive a few days.. 1800-2000 calories 40/40/20 plan. but then I wake up in the middle of the night like a hungry beast (like I havent eatin in years).. and I know my stepdad had a get together with his buddies.. lots of food! and ill just eat and eat and eat.. definently over 5000 calories in 1 hour time, and I STILL feel like eating more. I eat meals like these atleast a few times a week. And I must be blessed for not throwing up or something, because I havent thrown up, or had the feeling of throwing up.. in years! (yes, i even tried one time.. just gagged and got watery eyed.. feels like I would throw up a lung before I threw up food chunks lol)

This disorder I have is so freaking serious its not even funny. The only people who know Im a FREAK about it is my family in this house, but I convince them its for my training.. but I try to 'closet eat' as much as I can so they dont get too worried. By the way it doesnt help with my mom buying every single junk food intown. (my mom has 2 twin boys, 3 years old) so we need lots of food in the house. So the temptation is through the roof for me. Once I start eating bad.. I mean it with all my heart.. I CANT STOP, I dont know where I put it all.. im very worried, its like I have 5 stomachs and im storing for the next few winters. I know im full when I cant move, seriously. OK ill stop ranting.. im just trying to give you guys the idea, cuz its very hard to explain.

Im admitting my problem, and im starting something new here. I want support, from ANYONE. figured id start here, cuz Im really not ready to tell people around me, and have to see a doctor. im going to clean up.. I am TIRED of putting alll this before my whole life.. and getting absolutely no where. thanks everyone and good luck to those who are battling this

[donescobar2000]

Dude was on the same boat a couple of weeks back. Now that I want to loose some bf. I do still have cheat meals but they are not all out cheat orgies. They are also only held once a week. I do the feel the temptations though. I say to myself "I want more," but I want to reach my goal so bad that I do not do it. I have to come to a decision that I am not gonna cheat at all though. It does suck because it seems that diet is on my mind 24/7. I'm honest to say that I love junk food but I do not want to balloon to my oldself therefore I live in misery thinking about a nice fatty meal. Grr!

[Jo_19]

wow i can relate with you so much its amazing. I'm 19 as well and i work outdoors, everyone thinks i'm nice, cheerfull, happy... and fit enough, all that stuff but i have such a problem with my weight its unbeliveable... I'll have good days like today i havn't been doing to badly but yesterday my mom started talking about how good i look and thats all she had to say and i started to cry and had to go. for the rest of the afternoon all i could think of was how fking fat i am and ARHRGGGG i hate it... i start to hate my self soooo much. then i hate myself for hating myself....strange i know. whatever.
nicktheroofer you totally have my support, i have not told anyone either, i don't live with my parents and i've kept it from my roommate. Thats the only thing i want in the world right now is to get over my obsession with food and my weight. anyway i hope you've had a good day today nick, i'm gonna go for two days in a row.

[kj6754]

I never thought I would get an eating disorder but it has happened. Now its like I am out of control around food and think about it all the time. Ive never had a binge until today. I could always contain myself from that but today when I got home from school I couldn't help myself. I had a grilled cheese sandwhich, a piece of spinach kiech, ice cream bar, some doritos, apple, and two pieces of garlic bread.

At 140 lbs and 6'0 I am skinny but ive never really tested my metabolism in a long time. I began to diet last year. it all started with me trying to get into body building and then I became obsessed with diet. Everyday I would say "i can't have that, it has too much of 'this' or 'that'. Then I started to stay away from all junk food and I would basically go insane if I had a cookie. This insane feeling went away if I knew I was going to be exercising that day.

Soon I started cutting my calories. One day I even tried to go without eating for the whole day but I broke down in the middle of the day and had some oatmeal.

Now I remain obsessed with diet and everyday I feel like ****. When I go to school I skip eating for 6 hours and it makes me feel like I am going to pass out sometimes. Other days I am depressed and food remains on my mind. Last night I went to sleep with thoughts of pancakes and waffles on my mind and I knew it was only a matter of time before I would binge.

When I look back on my diet before I started obsessively counting my calories, I had no problems with food or with my body image. I didn't even pay attention to it and I could have a candy bar and not even think about it. Now if I see a candy bar I automatically know I can't have it. When my grandparents were over my house a little while ago they brought a pizza for dinner and I automatically knew I wasn't going to have dinner that night. Instead I had a hard sweet potatoe and I went to bed so hungry that night.

Now with the binge I had today I think I am going to run for 2 hours. Its going to be the only way I will be able to sleep tonight.

[Dedicatedforlife]

listen your sounding like an anorexic. If your bodybuilding or just plain living...binging will happen, eventually everyone gives in once in awhile. Thats why we have "cheat" days. We eat what we want, the forget it and go back to our healthier lifestyles then in a few days have what we want again. So don't worry about that binge, worrying will just make it worse, forget about and go back to your usual diet and make sure that you have a cheat meal once a week at least so that you don't have high urges to binge.

[Jo_19]

hey how is everyone doing??

I had two good days...they it happened again. ARGGGG last night i ate so much food, then this morning too. I hate it that i can't stop it. i feel so much better about myself when i just eat a normal amount of food and soooo ****ty when i eat alot....ITS crazy i still do it... fu#k

[Aray]

I really like this support group. I've read most of the stories and it makes me feel good the amount of support everyone gets. I feel kind of dumb posting my story but I feel it may help, and it wouldn't hurt.

It starts out last Friday, I was heading out from a party. (First mistake, but I'm in college and I drink on Friday nights.) So I was pretty wasted from all the liquoR(and a little beer), a normal college party night. Well I was leaving and my friend(who claims he didn't but people tell me he did) pushes me down the stairs and I fall and chip my tooth pretty bad. So bad that I may have to get an implant.

I was just starting to have a rise in my confidence here in college. I have always been a shy kid and over coming that shyness took me years, no joke. Now that my front tooth is half missing, I just couldn't handle it.

I started a really solid diet about a month ago. I was doing good all up until last friday, then I lost my tooth. All this week I've just been binging, and still have been. I start out eating good in the morning, and then after moving through the day talking to a few of my friends with my snaggle tooth, I just get shocked I guess you can say. And when dinner comes I just shove random food down. I don't know why, I hardly worked out all week this week because I really do not want to go out in public.
And on top of that, the surgery to fix my tooth is going to cost a lot and my family and I do not have the money for it at the moment. I don't know why, I'm just ranting. I feel this board will either help me with some support or maybe just spitting my mind. Thanks for reading.