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  1. #1
    Member fitforlife's Avatar
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    Eating Disorder Support Group

    Recently, I have noticed that there has been several posts regarding eating disorders (i.e. binge eating, bullemia, anorexia, etc....) I thought it might be helpful to those who suffer from such problems to have a place to come to and talk about them and also to receive support. I am starting this thread as a serious subject and, by no means, should it be abused or made fun of. There are a lot of bodybuilders out there, including myself, that suffer from an eating disorder that need support and motivation to combat the problem. Hopefully this will catch on and at least help a few people. So, I would like to start off by stating that over the past 3 months, I have suffered from a severe case of binge eating. I have been "on the wagon" for 2 1/2 weeks and am starting to get my eating under control. It has been hell, but I am doing whatever it takes to beat this problem.

    This past summer, I was in the shape of my life. I was at 150lbs and 5-6% bodyfat. I don't know what happened, but around late July, something snapped. I was so sick of eating strickly. For 2 weeks I would eat and eat and eat. Nothing but junk. I put on 30 pounds in 2 weeks. About 2 1/2 weeks ago I topped off at 205. That is 55lbs in 3 months. I knew that if I didn't do something soon, I was in trouble. It got to the point that I couldnt even run anymore because my knees hurt me so much from all the excess weight I was caring around. Well, I decided to rework my diet and fitness plan and now I am down to 200lbs and feeling a lot better. Still have cravings like crazy, but I am learning to just say no. I am shooting to be at 180lbs by the end of the year. Hopefully, my willpower will win and I will get there.

    I know that this thread may sound crazy, but I know there are some out there suffering from what I went through that really just need some support. I wish that this thread was around about 2 months ago. Maybe I would have stopped sooner. Who knows.

  2. #2
    Registered User Colin's Avatar
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    Re: Eating Disorder Support Group

    Originally posted by fitforlife
    Recently, I have noticed that there has been several posts regarding eating disorders (i.e. binge eating, bullemia, anorexia, etc....) I thought it might be helpful to those who suffer from such problems to have a place to come to and talk about them and also to receive support. I am starting this thread as a serious subject and, by no means, should it be abused or made fun of. There are a lot of bodybuilders out there, including myself, that suffer from an eating disorder that need support and motivation to combat the problem. Hopefully this will catch on and at least help a few people. So, I would like to start off by stating that over the past 3 months, I have suffered from a severe case of binge eating. I have been "on the wagon" for 2 1/2 weeks and am starting to get my eating under control. It has been hell, but I am doing whatever it takes to beat this problem.

    This past summer, I was in the shape of my life. I was at 150lbs and 5-6% bodyfat. I don't know what happened, but around late July, something snapped. I was so sick of eating strickly. For 2 weeks I would eat and eat and eat. Nothing but junk. I put on 30 pounds in 2 weeks. About 2 1/2 weeks ago I topped off at 205. That is 55lbs in 3 months. I knew that if I didn't do something soon, I was in trouble. It got to the point that I couldnt even run anymore because my knees hurt me so much from all the excess weight I was caring around. Well, I decided to rework my diet and fitness plan and now I am down to 200lbs and feeling a lot better. Still have cravings like crazy, but I am learning to just say no. I am shooting to be at 180lbs by the end of the year. Hopefully, my willpower will win and I will get there.

    I know that this thread may sound crazy, but I know there are some out there suffering from what I went through that really just need some support. I wish that this thread was around about 2 months ago. Maybe I would have stopped sooner. Who knows.
    Damn bro,putting on that much fat that quickly is damn near unbelievable,especially considering you've got training history.I don't have an eating disorder myself but I am very unhappy with my phsyique nonetheless so I can empathize with you.Good luck man.

  3. #3
    Member Timbo's Avatar
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    fitforlife...thanks for starting this up and thanks for sharing your story. It's getting late, so I'm not going to get into my own hairy details...now. But I will in the near future, as I feel that "opening up" per se, is a very valuable commodity in defeating this.

    Like you obviously recognize, communicating with others and sharing thoughts and feelings really helps to deliver the "knock-out" blow. No matter how strong you are, there always seems to be trouble lurking around the corner. I strongly feel that an individual can overcome such problems as this with unprecedented will-power, and more importantly, overwhelming support and encouragement from friends and peers. Rest assured, I'm part of this group and will not only seek others' counsel for myself, but willingly and happily offer my own friendship and assistance for others in need.
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  4. #4
    Member fitforlife's Avatar
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    Thanks for the encouraging words and feedback bros. Yea, it does take a TREMENDOUS amount of willpower and support to kick bad habits. It isn't easy to admit to something like this and at times can be embarrasing, but sometimes being embarrased and upfront can be the starting point for someone to kick a problem in the butt.

  5. #5
    Member Jordan314's Avatar
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    I also have been dealing with a eating disorder for the past two years. I can not cure myself and now realize that I need help. I feel as If my metabolism is now shot, if I eat more then 2000 calories a day I gain fat, under 1200 and I lose weight drastically. Within the past two years I have gone from weighing 145-186 I am still constantly fluctuating, boughting with bulimia and aneorexia. I am 5,10 and 19 years old, If any one out there has a problem SEEK HELP you can not do it on your own, Its a disease that will rip apart yout mind!!! Please believe me

  6. #6
    Registered User vein5's Avatar
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    I think all of these eating disorders are started because of our extreme diets which can screw with chemical imbalances. I have had nocternal eating disorder for 3 years and am finally getting help. Its weird I have no hunger all day then just like that 1 in the morning i wake up 6 time eating like a horse everything in sight even when i have been eating all day.

  7. #7
    Registered User Anxed's Avatar
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    I dont know about you guys, but Id like to see this thread as a sticky... I know there are lots of people out there.. bodybuilders and non-bodybuilders that suffer from eating disorders...
    Anxed

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  8. #8
    Registered User Luke530's Avatar
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    Originally posted by vein5
    I think all of these eating disorders are started because of our extreme diets which can screw with chemical imbalances.
    I agree... I dieted for a few weeks... next thing I know... I'm annorexic... I get my **** together, start eating... and I don't even know how the **** I ever became one... you go from being a lethargic, depressed, non-eating, insomniac to a happy, cherrful, energized, sleeping beauty in about 5 weeks...

    the only thing I have noticed is, before my episode 1 year ago... I was never hunrgy... now I cannot get full, no matter what I eat and how much my stomach hurts that it is full... I can still eat... it's been getting better lately though... it sure helped while I was bulking this summer

    fitforlife - KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
    Last edited by Luke530; 11-07-2002 at 02:47 PM.

  9. #9
    Member fitforlife's Avatar
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    I am glad (I hate to use that word because it really doesn't go with eating disorders) that people are opening up and discussing their problems. In my experience, discussing the problem REALLY helps and getting support is key. Thanks again for the support and willingness to open up.

    Yea, I totally agree with everyone. Dieting can really strain your body and when done to extremes, can cause chemical inbalances. I think I am in the same boat as Luke350. I can eat and eat and eat and, even though I am full, can eat more. Now there is something wrong with that. But, I am slowly starting to get it under control. This morning I stepped on the scale and am FINALLY under 200 (199lbs). I am slowly dropping my weight back down at a rate of 2lbs per week. The downside is that I almost lost it last night. I was 2 seconds away from a binge attack. It was all I could do to not raid the refrigerator. About the only thing that saved me was the fact that I told myself that it wasn't worth throwing 3 weeks of hard work down the toilet.

    As for those who have suffered for 2-3 years, I feel for you. My 3 months is NOTHING compared to that. I think that it is wise to seek professional help at that point. I am still at the point that I can work it out myself. Although, I can see myself getting proffessional help down the road if I fall off the wagon again. Just take it day by day and, when you feel week, just come to this thread. There are lots of people out there that are willing to help and motivate you.

  10. #10
    Member Y2Karl's Avatar
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    Yo Fit for Life, I know what you mean when you say you are still hungry after you know you're sated. I go on this binge eating trips sometimes that are 2-3 weeks. I eat healthy, but it's just a ton of food. What helps is filling your life up with meaningful things. Like going out with people and just getting away from bodybuilding. Just get your mind off of it, and when it's time to eat, you know what to eat. Do not go searching in the pantry, refrigerator, etc for something to eat. Searching kills me. You start trying different foods and then you keep doing that day after day and it becomes an issue. I have kept my diet under control the past month. I eat very often, but in small portions. Plus I do not read on nutrition on this website. It drives me absolutely crazy. I know what i need based on my metabolic rate and calorie expenditure in the gym. Plus I know what foods are good for me and what not to eat. So do you! Just know what you need and go with the flow of life. I haven't been on the forums in awhile b/c I end up thinking too much about my diet when I know it's already a success. I'm trying to figure out if anybody has tried the new protein cusomizer thing. Anyways, good luck to all of you out there having these problems. I hope more people come on this thread and open up. It feels damn good.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Del's Avatar
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    Y2karl, you've hit the nail on the head. Sometimes I think that all these boards (while great for information) stimulate a sense of society in which nutrition and training are the primary re-enforces of our worth as individuals. Don't get me wrong, I love these boards... but my "real" life is more important. And of course, the "real" world itself is full of bull**** measures of individual worth, such as social standing, money etc. etc.

    This, however, is deeper philosophical issue (the meaning of life, no less) that extends far beyond the reach of a single post :-)

    Anyway, I think its great we have this as a sticky. As soon as I have the time/energy I hope to give my personal account of anorexia... but at this present time its not something I can easily face. Nevertheless, its great to know there are people (as little as I may know them) who care and are willing to listen.

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  12. #12
    Registered User Luke530's Avatar
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    If anyone ever needs to talk...

    AIM = Anabolik530... IM me anytime... I can probably relate to most... so if you ever need to get something off your head... gimme a shout.

    peace

  13. #13
    Member thewrestler14's Avatar
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    Mine is a lot less extreme than yours. i have body issues pretty much my entire life as the chubby kid, I was alwasy a really good athelte but i was still chunky and i got **** for it. Then when hs started i got insane about getting in shape. i lost 35 pounds in a month for wrestling and some of my teachers though i was wasting away because my cheekbones started to become so defined. For wrestling i was at 6' 145. I still cut for wrestling but its not nearly as extreme now.
    Did you copy that out of Chapter 1, in the "How to be a bleeding-heart Liberal : For Dummies" ???? (irpker)
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    I focused on the pain, the only thing that's real the needle tears a hole the old familiar sting, try to kill it all away but I remember everything what have I become my sweetest friend everyone i know goes away in the end." NIN

  14. #14
    Banned Original Poster's Avatar
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    OK, don't laugh.......

    I just love to freaking eat and drink.

    I mean I love good food. I put food and drink up there with sex and training. Isn't that sick. LOL

    Not sure if it falls under being a disorder, but I think it is One.


    PEACE

  15. #15
    Member fitforlife's Avatar
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    Y2Karl and Del couldn't have put it better. I think the low point for me is when bodybuilding became the most important thing in my life. Don't get me wrong, it is very good to stay in shape. It helps you both physically and mentally. But when it comes before everything else, that is when it becomes a problem. It got to where I would rather die then get fat or not look ripped. I put bodybuilding before my family even. I would only feel good whenever I could workout. It was like a drug. I would take one day off a week and would go nuts because I was not in the weight room. I look back now and think "how did I let it get so out of control"

    I am now starting week four of being binge free. I had a cheat day yesterday (as I do every week) and kept it under control for the most part. (The peanut butter got a hold of me) But, I had about 5-6 tbls and was able to close the lid and put it back in the pantry. For me, that is a major accomplishment. I use to down about 20 tbls and then head for the ice cream.

    Thanks to everyone for opening up. To those reading this thread and suffering from a eating disorder, don't be afraid to open up. You are not alone. And it REALLY helps to get support.

  16. #16
    Registered User BigRig's Avatar
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    I understand everyone's posts and then some. I have explained recently in another post that I have suffered from binge-eating for about six years. I know that this disorder is a result of a combination of my upbringing (my Mom probably has a similar disorder) and my competitive bodybuilding days. In fact, despite my less than ideal upbringing (regarding food only, I had a happy childhood in every other way), I never felt I had an unhealthy relationship with food until after I competed for the 3rd time in 1995.

    When I competed in that show, I weighed a ripped 158. I now tip the scales at a plump 240. That is an 82 pound difference! Granted I carry more muscle than your average 240 pounder who does not work out. This is because I still train sporadically and have above-average genetics for carrying a good amount of muscle.

    It's been an uphill battle, and every time I "fall off the wagon" so to speak, it gets worse because the weight gain becomes greater. In the beginning it was easy to justify. I would always tell myself (and other people who asked) that I was in the "offseason" or that I was "bulking." When in fact, what was really happening is I was binging uncontrollably on every junk food imaginable.

    But the time has come to put the past behind me. I have taken some very positive steps lately toward getting past this demon that has stolen my physique. One thing that is very hard to do is to focus on progress, not perfection. I have been keeping this in mind lately and trying to take small steps toward winning the fight. I know that I will succeed, and slowly but surely I will move toward the physique that I want.

    I think that this thread is an excellent idea. It gives those who battle various eating disorders a place to share thoughts and feelings not only with others who share those same disorders, but also with people who share the same common goal of looking good and being healthy. The latter is something you cannot find on eating disorder message boards.

    Keep up the fight. I know I will.
    BigRig
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  17. #17
    Member fitforlife's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing BigRig. I remember the post you made about a week ago concerning this topic. As a matter of fact, after reading your post, that is what got me thinking about starting this thread. I am really glad the mods decided to make this a sticky. I think that in one shape or form, all bodybuilders go through this at one point or another. We as bodybuilders have to push our bodies harder and further than most people realize to get the physique of our dreams. Most people don't realize the sacrifices we make. And some where along the line (I know this is the case with me) we go beyond those limits to where our bodies just can't handle it anymore. Its crazy, isn't it.

    BigRig, what you said is so true. You HAVE to take it one day at a time or you are going to be fighting a lost cause. I am attempting to lose this weight at a rate of 2lbs per week. In all, I am trying to lose 30lbs. It is overwhelming to think about 30lbs. But, when I take it week by week, day by day, I keep getting closer and closer to my goal. Keep up the good work.

  18. #18
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    I think BigRig is correct. Do NOT focus on perfection, but rather progress. I haven't thought about that lately. Thanks BigRig, hopefully this will help me in the future.
    Karl

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    Senior Member Del's Avatar
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    Just a thought:

    "fear is the anticipation of failure"

    If you constantly measure yourself against perfection then failure is inevitable, and fear will render you powerless. This, in my experience, is underlying structure of many eating disorders.

    del
    Last edited by Del; 11-11-2002 at 06:02 PM.
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    Fitforlife, your passion to improve yourself shines through in your writing. But keep in mind Del's words above...."if you constantly measure yourself against perfection then failure is inevitable." I did not gain 82 pounds overnight. This was a gradual process and was bridged by at least two different times when I went on strict diets and lost a lot of weight.

    But what I have noticed is that when I first began feeling the pressure of improving myself, I was comparing my body to that which I displayed on a bodybuilding stage. I felt I could not be happy unless I attained that shape again. But as I gained weight, I would look at pictures of myself weighing 25 pounds over contest shape and think, why was I unhappy at that weight? I actually looked very good at that weight. This same phenomenon has happened to me at several stages. The moral of the story is this: learn to be happy the way you are! This does not mean that you shouldn't strive to improve yourself, but don't base your potential happiness on reaching a certain weight.

    I know I wasted a lot of energy over the past six years worrying about how to lose weight so that I could finally be happy. But I have finally realized that happiness is within one's grasp no matter what they weigh or look like. That is why my signature says "Enjoy the journey!" If you spend all your time worried about reaching the destination, you will not be living for today. You certainly will not be happy today.

    Keep these things in mind as you strive to look your best day in and day out.
    Enjoy the journey!

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    Very good advice fellas. I think that is my biggest problem right now is being happy with my body when I am not in perfect shape. I can already see bad habits coming back. This morning in the gym I pushed myself REALLY hard because I kept looking in the mirror and not being happy with what I saw. Rather than focusing on the positive (of me not binging now for a little over 3 weeks), I focused on the negative of letting myself gain so much weight (fat). By the time I got out of the gym, I was DRENCHED from sweat. I have to realize that I am bodybuilding to feel better about myself, not try to be super bodybuilder. I can already see me setting myself up for failure again. Bad habits are so hard to break. Thanks for putting things in perspective fellas.

  22. #22
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    i was tempted to bring my problem up in a post and was afraid of those people and there ignorrant obnoxious posts. then i came across this post and was happy to see it. i suffer from an eating disorder. i suffer from bulemia. i have been on and off for 5 years and only seem to do this when i try to lose weight and train. i never went for help but i always wanted to talk about it, not just being told how bad it is. well no **** its bad but i dont care at the time all i think about is eating as much as i can and then getting rid of it. i hate that i'm like his cause i get very depressed afterwords. i train hard, i eat right and then every now and then i lose it. just wanted to thank you for starting this post and would like to continue posting here from now on.

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    Fitforlife, I want to thank you, like a lot of other bodybuilders have thanked you, for starting this thread. This is a very serious and personal issue for a lot of people and I would encourage those who read through to take it as such.
    In today's world it seems as though the only way to be attractive is to walk around with that 'ideal body' and a lot of people value their self-worth on obtaining just that.
    Traditionally, when people think of eating disorders, they are under the impression that they only affect women. This, as we all very well know, is a very inaccurate misconception that is becoming more so every day.
    I, too, have had difficulties with eating disorders. I'll spare you all the details for now but lets just say that my life has become a crusade to overcome them.
    Crazychef, I want to thank you for sharing. And I wish you all the strength you may need in your battle. It's not something that can be won overnight.
    Statistics show that people with eating disorders have a high-relapse rate. In a sense, it's an addiction. So what can be done?
    Often, I have had thoughts about quiting working out and just letting myself go. But I don't think I could ever do that. In a sense, the workout part is half the problem. Sometimes I'll set goals too high. I'll try to cut too much weight in a too short of a peroid of time and end up bouncing back on the weekend.
    During the last year, things have gotten better, though it is far from over.
    One thing I realized is that one of the most important things in working out is balance, and now I am trying to use that to my advantage.
    I used to be able to cut weight and never have to worry about binging. But after a couple years of dieting my eating order became a disorder. It takes years to establish proper eating patterns. When the pattern is lost, it will take a long time to get back on the right track.
    I used to have a noctornal eating disorder. For several months I would wake up in the middle of the night (everynight) and eat everything in sight. It's funny, I wouldn't be hungry at all during the day. But after an hour of sleep I'd wake up like a hungry wolf with no conscious restraint in regards to food.
    I've studied the problem extensively and read numerous studies conducted by the country's top doctor's. The bottom line is that the problem is one of deep pshycological origins and cannot be solved overnight. I know this now. I wish I knew this then.
    Thank you fitforlife. Support threads such as these play an important role to recovery.

    More later.
    X
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  24. #24
    Senior Member Del's Avatar
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    examiner, you make an excellent point about how suddenly a perfect diet can turn into a horrible diet... Its like something just snaps. Although I suffer primarily from an undereating disorder, I too have to be careful that I don't suddenly eat too much or too little. It only takes one meal of saying "**** it I'll cut/add this much food" for me to feel like a failure and to keep traveling in that direction (too much or too little).

    My problem is with things like salad/veggies: I know that it hardly matters whether I have 1 or 2 cups. If I start eating them I litteraly "binge" on atleast a few pounds! This may not sound so horrible, but I restrict "real" calories, skip workouts, isolate myself because I feel so bad. It actually makes me lose weight

    any tips?

    del
    Last edited by Del; 11-12-2002 at 08:48 PM.
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    Thanks for the continuing posts fellas. Welcome to the boards examiner and crazychef. Yea, I truely agree that food literally becomes an addiction. That is why whenever I feel a binge attact coming on, I go to the mirror and say, "I am a bingeaholic. I have been ___ weeks without binging." I know that I am not actually hungry, but I just desire food. And that is not right. You should eat to live, not live to eat. I think that is part of the problem. We as bodybuilders spend SO MUCH time thinking about food and the right things to eat, that inevitably, we start craving it. Anything whenever thought about too much becomes an addiction.

    Hang in there crazychef. You can kick the habit. Just take it day by day. No one on these boards will critize or put you down. We are here to build you up and motivate you. If it wasn't for the fact that I just can't make myself throw up, I would be bulemic as well.

    On the bright side of things, I witnessed the ultimate temptation yesterday. I don't know why, but my company was passing out Wendy's frostys yesterday. I was on the computer and all of a sudden someone plopped a frosty right in front of me. It took me a minute, but I picked it up, took it to the kitchen, and threw it away. I was happy at the victory, but sad because I was craving it SOOOOOO BAD. My willpower has become greater these past few weeks, but the cravings have not deminished. One of the things that kept me going was the fact that I was not about to throw 3 1/2 weeks of being binge free down the toilet. I have the willpower to say no, I just wish that I could get rid of the cravings. Keep taking it day by day fellas.

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    Yeah, fitforlife, I know what you mean by addiction.
    Last night I watched Dateline on NBC and there was a special about Al Roaker (The big weather guy in the morning). He's lost like a hundred pounds from having that gastric bypass surgery. The whole time I was watching, I kept thinking to myself "yeah, life would be so much easier for me (and everyone else) if I didn't have to worry about overeating."
    The truth is our bodies are designed to store as much fat as possible at all costs because our ancestors didn't know when or if the next meal was comming. However nowdays the next meal is pracitcally garanteed. It really pisses me off that there is SO MUCH damn junk food in our faces all the time and it is so cheap. I do a real good job of staying away from junk food during the week. But when the weekend rolls around I'm almost garanteed to overdo it at least once or twice.
    I don't know.

    X
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    I am with you on that one examiner. I was just reading the article about Al Roker in People magazine yesterday. I don't know. To me, gastric bypass surgery is kind of cheating. It would be nice however if I just didn't feel hungry or have cravings all day.

    For me, the BIG problem is where I work. This place is a haven for junk food. Sales reps bring in doughnuts, people are bringing in halloween candy that their kids don't want, today we have an ice cream cake to celebrate November birthdays, and yesterday they wre handing out frostys. I almost go insane with cravings. People are like "oh, just have a piece". But they don't realize is once I get that taste of sugar in my mouth, it is all over. I will eat and eat and eat until I throw up. The only way I am beating this is quitting cold turkey. The more time I go without sugar, the more I lose a taste for it. I still have a cheat day on Sundays every week and that gives me something to look forward to. But it is a catch 22 because on Monday and Tuesday my cravings seen twice as bad because now I have that taste in my mouth again. UGGGHHHH!!!! I wish there was a magic pill you could take to just not be hungry and take cravings away. That would make life so easy.

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    fitforlife,

    I know what you mean. I work in an office that has a lot of food in it but it doesn't sound as bad as your office. I do a good job at avoiding the food and when it's offered. I'll try a little bit every now and then, enough to shut everyone up and to get a taste. I understand your all-or-none philosphy when it comes to food though. I learned that all things must be taken in moderation. I know what it's like to think: "well, I've already eaten too much, I might as well go ahead and eat all that I can."

    But that mentality is dangerous and destrctive. It's never too early to quite eating. Once you learn to keep that balance, and find the ability to eat SOME and not a whole bunch, you're one step closer to recovery. You're walking a very thin line if you can't take a bite of a cookie or eat a piece of cake and walk away. Those are dangerous waters. Be strong.

    The biggest problem with people with eating disorders is the emotional value that they put in both food and their bodies. The two don't mix. Trust me. You can't eat for comfort anymore. You were dead on when you said we need to eat to live and not live to eat. Learn to value other things -- the bigger things in life. It's hard at first. Trust me. And some people never fully recover.

    More Later,
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    Senior Member Del's Avatar
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    Just about that "magic pill" idea:

    There are some things which can definately help cravings... I don't know if they offer a long term solution and I think there are underlying issues in any ED that need to be addressed. Neverthless, these things can help with the chemical imbalance at very dificult times.

    - St. Johns Wart. This is a bit "duh", but its safe unaddictive and raises seratonin. Serum is better than tabs.

    - Nicotine. Dopamine agonist... It WILL get your mind off food at the right dose. Neverthless its addictive and bad for you (cancer etc.). Also, the gum is fairly expensive.

    - Bromocriptine. I'll dig up some more info on this... looks promising.

    cheers,

    del
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    Unhappy Been there, done that

    It's comforting (it took a while to find a more acturate word than nice or good...) to find a place where guys admit to this sort of problem with self-image and food. I first fall into the trap in High School. I had always been a chubby kid and I found that skiping lunch made me get thinner and I had extra pocket money. It quickly extended to breakfast and when I could pull it off dinner. And my folks were happy that my weight was down I felt better about myself, I was more excepted at school and I was starving myself badly enough that I stopped growing 1-3 inches before I should have. My family had a rule that we were home for dinner together unless we had good reason not to be. That most likely keeped me from going fully anorexic. over the next 30+ years I alterneting fat and binging; and thin, anorexic and compulsive areobics nut. I got down to 135lb (@65.5") but was eating under 1000cal/day and 150+miles a week on my ten-speed, and I still saw myself as fat... I was sick...

    I signed up with a gym and started talking to a trainer/nutrition guy about 4 months back; and I'm starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel (It doesn't look like another train at least.) I'm starting to like the guy that looks back from the mirror for the first time I can remember.

    Any ways I'm a bit afraid I'll twist the good I'm doing for myself now the same way I did before and just exchange one thyp of body dysmorphia for another.

    Rob
    Last edited by rleeson; 11-13-2002 at 12:22 PM.

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