Eating Disorder Support Group

[fitforlife]

Recently, I have noticed that there has been several posts regarding eating disorders (i.e. binge eating, bullemia, anorexia, etc....) I thought it might be helpful to those who suffer from such problems to have a place to come to and talk about them and also to receive support. I am starting this thread as a serious subject and, by no means, should it be abused or made fun of. There are a lot of bodybuilders out there, including myself, that suffer from an eating disorder that need support and motivation to combat the problem. Hopefully this will catch on and at least help a few people. So, I would like to start off by stating that over the past 3 months, I have suffered from a severe case of binge eating. I have been "on the wagon" for 2 1/2 weeks and am starting to get my eating under control. It has been hell, but I am doing whatever it takes to beat this problem.

This past summer, I was in the shape of my life. I was at 150lbs and 5-6% bodyfat. I don't know what happened, but around late July, something snapped. I was so sick of eating strickly. For 2 weeks I would eat and eat and eat. Nothing but junk. I put on 30 pounds in 2 weeks. About 2 1/2 weeks ago I topped off at 205. That is 55lbs in 3 months. I knew that if I didn't do something soon, I was in trouble. It got to the point that I couldnt even run anymore because my knees hurt me so much from all the excess weight I was caring around. Well, I decided to rework my diet and fitness plan and now I am down to 200lbs and feeling a lot better. Still have cravings like crazy, but I am learning to just say no. I am shooting to be at 180lbs by the end of the year. Hopefully, my willpower will win and I will get there.

I know that this thread may sound crazy, but I know there are some out there suffering from what I went through that really just need some support. I wish that this thread was around about 2 months ago. Maybe I would have stopped sooner. Who knows.

[Colin]

Originally posted by fitforlife
Recently, I have noticed that there has been several posts regarding eating disorders (i.e. binge eating, bullemia, anorexia, etc....) I thought it might be helpful to those who suffer from such problems to have a place to come to and talk about them and also to receive support. I am starting this thread as a serious subject and, by no means, should it be abused or made fun of. There are a lot of bodybuilders out there, including myself, that suffer from an eating disorder that need support and motivation to combat the problem. Hopefully this will catch on and at least help a few people. So, I would like to start off by stating that over the past 3 months, I have suffered from a severe case of binge eating. I have been "on the wagon" for 2 1/2 weeks and am starting to get my eating under control. It has been hell, but I am doing whatever it takes to beat this problem.

This past summer, I was in the shape of my life. I was at 150lbs and 5-6% bodyfat. I don't know what happened, but around late July, something snapped. I was so sick of eating strickly. For 2 weeks I would eat and eat and eat. Nothing but junk. I put on 30 pounds in 2 weeks. About 2 1/2 weeks ago I topped off at 205. That is 55lbs in 3 months. I knew that if I didn't do something soon, I was in trouble. It got to the point that I couldnt even run anymore because my knees hurt me so much from all the excess weight I was caring around. Well, I decided to rework my diet and fitness plan and now I am down to 200lbs and feeling a lot better. Still have cravings like crazy, but I am learning to just say no. I am shooting to be at 180lbs by the end of the year. Hopefully, my willpower will win and I will get there.

I know that this thread may sound crazy, but I know there are some out there suffering from what I went through that really just need some support. I wish that this thread was around about 2 months ago. Maybe I would have stopped sooner. Who knows.

Damn bro,putting on that much fat that quickly is damn near unbelievable,especially considering you've got training history.I don't have an eating disorder myself but I am very unhappy with my phsyique nonetheless so I can empathize with you.Good luck man.

[immylove]

Im pleasantly surprised to see this thread. I have had an eating disorder since I was 21 , varying from Anorexia to Bulimia, You know how it is such a vicious circle. Im fully aware that although my disorder maybe under control it will never be cured. I feel that training for me is just a substitute to starving or binging. Although a much healthier one!!!
I personally like the control!
Its nice to know we are not alone

[RE9forever]

do you tell people you have an ED? and are in recovery? how do they react? who do you tell.

I have struggled for 7 years with an eating disorder, after my fifth time in the hospital I went to treatment for 9 months to only relapse as soon as i left it was not my choice I was 14 to 15 at the time, after several more treatment centers through out the years I started my real recovery and found some peace, (still working on it) I go to meetings EDA, and truly my nutritionist is a god send, i follow the meal plan she gives me (its exchange based, with 6 meals a day) and started my own EDA meeting so I have been doing pretty good over the last two years, getting better and better,

but I find that I dont tell friends that I am going to EDA meetings or the doctor or nutritionist, or my boy friend because I am embarrassed and don't know how they will react, I would love support, but I don't know if it is safe to lean on my boy, or friends or if they would be disgusted that some days still I feel like the biggest ugliest piece of crap, and don't want to be touched, and struggle to get my whole meal plan in, and balanced. I want the support and I want to tell them but I dont know how it will go,.

anyone else gone through this?

I read on another forum on here about a guy that was asking what to do about his girl friend with an eating disorder, and she was in recovery, and people said how people with ED can never be trusted and that they are selfish, and mentally ill, which i dont want to be seen like that, because I work hard and like to think I am a pretty good person, but I feel often I am living a lie hiding my recovery. I know i have done crazy things when I was in my eating disorder, that hurt others and my self, but I am not the same person today and I my friends think I am a together and supportive person that they can lean on in need and do, same with my boy, but i dont know how they will take me saying, "oh, by the way when I was a teen I would stop eating for a week till I had to go to the hospital and made myself infertile from being so sick, yet knowing how bad it was I still struggle wanting to go back some days like wanting to skip one meal here or there, or struggle with body image or confidence or what ever.

I was quite the opposite as I told everyone that I had an ED, but that was more of an excuse because I was embarrassed about the recovery weight gain and didn't want people to think that I am this way now from eating fast food. Yet it did bring up some negative reactions. I think it's fine to share with those you are close to, but not every person on the street as I did.

I'm 16 and I had an ED. I had what my parents think was orthorexia, just a kind of anorexia where I was obsessed with eating only the healthiest food. I was never hospitalized or anything because luckily some close people stopped me and allowed me to realize what I was doing to myself but I suppose Im still trying to recover. I wrestle in highschool, sophomore year I cut weight and was between 140 and 135 lbs. and this past year I wrestled at 119lbs. while actually weighing as low as 113. Sadly this was actually after the worse of my ED, and in fact was during the period when I was recovering. I have only recently been able to try and froce myself to eat more and it is truly hard. I weigh about 123 now and I am simply forcing myself to keep eating, my goal is to wrestle this year at 135 or 140lbs. again and try and recover even more from my ED. I have found tremendous help through the p90x workout program and am hoping to see greater results following this week which is when i became really serious about eating more.

Im pleasantly surprised to see this thread. I have had an eating disorder since I was 21 , varying from Anorexia to Bulimia, You know how it is such a vicious circle. Im fully aware that although my disorder maybe under control it will never be cured. I feel that training for me is just a substitute to starving or binging. Although a much healthier one!!!
I personally like the control!
Its nice to know we are not alone

For both of these, congrats on finding alternate ways of coping with food.

I will caution though as many have gone from EDs to overexercise (and many with EDs overexercise). Stopping ED behaviors is the easiest part.

The toughest part is to understand why you engage in self destructive behaviors, and finding positive ways to deal with stress, anxiety, out of control feelings, etc. That's the part I'm going through now, and it's very challenging.

I can easily overexercise, but then I ended up breaking my foot and dealing with that vs. finding other ways to manage stress without hurting myself. Exercise is good but to a certain degree. That's where professional help comes in. Therapists can work with you on an exercise schedule and keep you accountable if you overexercise and nutritionists can help you develop a healthy meal plan.

Congrats on choosing recovery!

[berbAssurbest]

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[LindaAlbert]

Hi,
Very useful information was provided by you. Thank you for sharing it. It will help very in this busy world as nowadays people eat instant and fast foods or junk foods a lot.

Damn bro,putting on that much fat that quickly is damn near unbelievable,especially considering you've got training history.I don't have an eating disorder myself but I am very unhappy with my phsyique nonetheless so I can empathize with you.Good luck man.

[Timbo]

fitforlife...thanks for starting this up and thanks for sharing your story. It's getting late, so I'm not going to get into my own hairy details...now. But I will in the near future, as I feel that "opening up" per se, is a very valuable commodity in defeating this.

Like you obviously recognize, communicating with others and sharing thoughts and feelings really helps to deliver the "knock-out" blow. No matter how strong you are, there always seems to be trouble lurking around the corner. I strongly feel that an individual can overcome such problems as this with unprecedented will-power, and more importantly, overwhelming support and encouragement from friends and peers. Rest assured, I'm part of this group and will not only seek others' counsel for myself, but willingly and happily offer my own friendship and assistance for others in need.

[fitforlife]

Thanks for the encouraging words and feedback bros. Yea, it does take a TREMENDOUS amount of willpower and support to kick bad habits. It isn't easy to admit to something like this and at times can be embarrasing, but sometimes being embarrased and upfront can be the starting point for someone to kick a problem in the butt.

[amber3478]

Thanks for the encouraging words and feedback bros. Yea, it does take a TREMENDOUS amount of willpower and support to kick bad habits. It isn't easy to admit to something like this and at times can be embarrasing, but sometimes being embarrased and upfront can be the starting point for someone to kick a problem in the butt.

I want to commend you on the courage you have to post this to the public's eye. I agree, this is an area that a lot of people in the fitness industry should evaluate within themselves with all the extreme diets we put ourselves through. I personally feel that we put so much emphasis on food that it becomes our obsession. We constantly think about it til we are so absorbed with it that we lose focus of what is real and what isn't. It is until we recognize and dig deep to the real meaning of food that we are enlightened. Food is fuel! Once we change our mind and balance our thoughts about it, will we ever find a working path with nutrition. My only recommendation would be to learn to fine tune your ability to listen to what you truly need. Research foods if you can to see what they do for us or not do for us. By doing this, it will bring clarity and meaning to what you eat. I've been on a "Raw" kick similar to the "Paleo" diet and have found that we all are missing one important fact...real whole nutrition! I recommend researching this area a bit to see what I mean. Best of luck to you and stay focused

[eire1916]

binge eater reporting in

get my diet perfect for a few days.. **** up with something TINY like a piece of cake, then that triggers an all out binge on ice cream chocolate you name it.
i really want to get this under control :/

[Phil147]

binge eater reporting in

get my diet perfect for a few days.. **** up with something TINY like a piece of cake, then that triggers an all out binge on ice cream chocolate you name it.
i really want to get this under control :/

I know the feeling...

Proper steak and potato dinner tonight, had one cookie, then my messed up brain triggers and says "well the day's nutrition is gone, lets eat whatever"

one PB&J sandwich... a second...

add in some more cookies. Brutal.


Tomorrow is my doctors appointment though, I hope I can get some good advice there.

[bccfc92]

binge eater reporting in

get my diet perfect for a few days.. **** up with something TINY like a piece of cake, then that triggers an all out binge on ice cream chocolate you name it.
i really want to get this under control :/

similar issue here, then just get tempted by more food etc, vicious cycle but determined to get past it - 'tough times don't last' etc

[Jordan314]

I also have been dealing with a eating disorder for the past two years. I can not cure myself and now realize that I need help. I feel as If my metabolism is now shot, if I eat more then 2000 calories a day I gain fat, under 1200 and I lose weight drastically. Within the past two years I have gone from weighing 145-186 I am still constantly fluctuating, boughting with bulimia and aneorexia. I am 5,10 and 19 years old, If any one out there has a problem SEEK HELP you can not do it on your own, Its a disease that will rip apart yout mind!!! Please believe me

[dougkickboxes]

i know what you mean man. im currently just sought help. i have been dealing with bullemia on and off for over a year. when i started i was 215 pounds solid but my abs werent what i wanted them do be so i started freaking out if i felt i ate wrong. i have lapses every now and then but ive been able to get back to 203 pounds from 178. from what people tell me i looked like i was sick and very unhealthy. i actually look better now but i look a few years older.

[gryphon5]

Since this thread has a large proportion of males with eating disorders, I can recommend reading this booklet;

http://www.bite-back.org.uk/wp-conte...on-for-men.pdf

Although its aimed at university students, the bulk of the booklet is very relevant and I found it a real eye-opener for me. I hope it helps someone else to understand what is the underlying cause of their actions.

[Babycakes09]

Hello -
I was reading your post and it's similar to the situation that I am in now. Two years ago I suffered from an eating disorder (anorexia) and dropped down to my lowest of 89 pounds. I wouldn't hardly eat anything and worked out. I restricted and restricted. Being skinny was a high. The more pounds I dropped, the better I felt. I didn't realize that I was slowly dying. Eventually later on down the road, I got a lot of help from my family, counselors, nutritionists, and I met who is now my husband. I turned myself around and started eating, but as I got more comfortable with eating again, I started gaining weight. I would workout in the gym and do nothing but hardcore cardio for up to 2-3 hours a day, burning between 1100 to 1500 calories in the gym. After a while, I started holding on to fat. Anything, everything my body could hold on to it did, and yes, I was still working out, but all the cardio was doing nothing to me but hurting my metabolism more. I completely destroyed my metabolism. Now, I'm stuck at 135 pounds, and I'm unhappy with it. I've turned myself around, and started weight training about a month ago mixed in with cardio, and I'm also taking classes to change things up to get my metabolism straight. My goal is to eventually get into the best shape of my life, gain more muscle, cut the rest of my fat, and compete in a show. It's a slow process because of the damage that I have done to my metabolism, but the program I'm doing now is amaazing. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle choice, and my whole heart is in it. I'm eating 1500 - 1600 calories day, weight training, doing cardio routines, with kickboxing and MMA training, eating 5 small meals throughout the day at about 300 calories a piece, and praying to god every night that I can finally make all my dreams come true. I know that if I can do it, you can to. I'm really glad that I came on the forum. It helps to know that there are people out there that have been through and are going through the same things that I too am.
Feel free to write back anytime.
Take care of yourself, think positive, and don't ever let anyone feel like you can't achieve what you want.
- Babycakes09

I also have been dealing with a eating disorder for the past two years. I can not cure myself and now realize that I need help. I feel as If my metabolism is now shot, if I eat more then 2000 calories a day I gain fat, under 1200 and I lose weight drastically. Within the past two years I have gone from weighing 145-186 I am still constantly fluctuating, boughting with bulimia and aneorexia. I am 5,10 and 19 years old, If any one out there has a problem SEEK HELP you can not do it on your own, Its a disease that will rip apart yout mind!!! Please believe me

[happybirthday]

I just wanted to post here and say I had a huge break through while meditating a few days ago and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I thought I was curing myself of eating disorder by eating 2,000 calories a day (I used to eat anywhere from 0 calories to 1800 (MAX) for the last 3 years. Along with binging and starving, this was all due to my fear of becoming fat(I used to be obese and was bullied in school) again after I lost all my weight. Once I lost weight and gained muscle, becoming quite fit and muscular compared to my "friends", they began to call my muscle fat and made fun of me again, this lead to quite a bit of body distortion as I began to believe them. But I just flicked a switch and I am eating whatever the **** the my body needs, which varies everyday, I do the opposite of restricting now and mentally kick myself in the balls every time I think about slipping back in to starving myself.

I am beginning to see why I was anorexic now and I am tackling the issues head on everyday, not letting the distortions and voice of the disorder convince me I am unworthy of having of anything great in life.

Food is for energy and that's it. Eating healthy is putting good energy in your body, not eating a certain amount so you can look a certain way. I am beginning to see that life is just about about being the best you, you can be as well as sharing yourself with others. I need to embrace myself, not others. I had habits of comparing myself to others for so long, combine that with low self-esteem and I felt EVERYONE was superior to me. The habit came from surrounding myself with people who had low self-esteem in school due to being bullied and losing confidence.

Sometimes I honestly thought I was genetically inferior and meant to die off, but after eating and giving my brain & body the energy it needs I sometimes can't help but cry when I see myself in the mirror and don't see that ugly distorted person I used to see, but instead a beautiful, strong minded person who was just misinformed.

Eating has improved my life drastically, I have energy to express myself and be more animated & am no longer just a lethargic emotionless zombie.

I am also beginning to see that there's more to life than looking a certain way. I picked up all my old hobbies I used to love before this whole mess: art & skateboarding because that's just who I am and what I enjoy. I also started reading social self-improvement books which have been doing loads for my confidence.

Here's to hoping everyone has a great recovery, and remember the stronger you are, the harder you fall.

[dude979]

hello peeps, here is my story im 5'6 and i weighed 325lbs i was so miserable my wife left me i had a hard time breathing lost my house..i moved in the my mom (who is a health nut) i started eating rite and walking and i dropped 130 pounds and i felt great...now im starting to gain weight back i gained about 30lbs back..its just so hard i can eat and eat and eat and i gain weight so easy i hate it...even when i drink some beer i will gain weight, anyways im watching what i eat again and joined a gym and stopped drinking......just wanted to share my story

[tom10167]

I was starting to think I had an eating disorder. I wouldn't eat until I was full, I ate until I was stuffed, and then, being stuffed, once I got back down to "just full" I'd eat more if it was there.

Then one day something clicked, I just realized I WAS getting bigger and I knew it wasn't going to stop any time soon. Now I struggle to get 2200 calories in(cutting)

Feels amazing! Portion control! Food in front of me, not eating it! I don't ALWAYS finish a bag of anything every single time!

But yeah it was bad, I could definitely eat a half gallon of ice cream in a single sitting without skipping a beat.

[vein5]

I think all of these eating disorders are started because of our extreme diets which can screw with chemical imbalances. I have had nocternal eating disorder for 3 years and am finally getting help. Its weird I have no hunger all day then just like that 1 in the morning i wake up 6 time eating like a horse everything in sight even when i have been eating all day.

[sbgymnast]

I think all of these eating disorders are started because of our extreme diets which can screw with chemical imbalances. I have had nocternal eating disorder for 3 years and am finally getting help. Its weird I have no hunger all day then just like that 1 in the morning i wake up 6 time eating like a horse everything in sight even when i have been eating all day.

You might be on to something there. I have had therapy and am in recovery from anorexia and bulimia. I learned that when you starve your body for so long, and your brain doesn't get the essential fats you need, that you actually do become depressed, which fuels the cycle of binging and purging, or causes you to not want to eat.

It is hard to step away from a regimented diet and allow yourself to trust your own judgements on what is okay to eat, and what is not. I went through a period of eating 7 items. If it wasn't on my list, I didn't eat it. It was "bad". 3 years later, and a train wreck of a body, I had to get help.

I thinkthat it is hard for people in the fitness industry who suffer from ED's to tell if it is a legitimate ED or if it is just a really strict lifestyle. I am glad this board is here!

[FistofSteel]

I think all of these eating disorders are started because of our extreme diets which can screw with chemical imbalances. I have had nocternal eating disorder for 3 years and am finally getting help. Its weird I have no hunger all day then just like that 1 in the morning i wake up 6 time eating like a horse everything in sight even when i have been eating all day.

You know I've been suffering from that here lately too. I eat like an animal during the day...but its all clean. Then at night I crave sugar and all that junk. I'll wake up in the middle of the night eating pop=tarts and cookies...I wake up feeling all bloated and feeling like s$%! I drink a muscle milk shake everynight before bed too...

Is there anything I can do before I go to bed to avoid this?

[PopeyesChicken]

Well I haven't posted in a while and the last time I did here I really liked the advice I received. It has been 2 months since I first started lifting weights and eating a proper diet. I'm 17 and 5'9, when I started in december I weighted in at 206lbs. Now I weight 186 and I have a girlfriend which is something I have never had since I was really fat,depressed and I would stop eating for days hoping to lose weight and I would be really bitter most of the time, excluding people around me including my friends. It's really nice to have some one care for me outside of my over protective mother. Well this is my update thanks for reading.

[Anxed]

I dont know about you guys, but Id like to see this thread as a sticky... I know there are lots of people out there.. bodybuilders and non-bodybuilders that suffer from eating disorders...

[cuteguy1995]

For 2 years I have been working as hard as I could to gain the body I dreamed about with hardy any progress. It wasn't until recently that I realized the main reason I haven't made much progess. To my surprise I found I was eating around 1800 cal a day. At 6'2 and 150 lbs. working out 4 days a week I wasn't putting on any size at all. My biggest downfall was seeing any change in fat around my waist would cause me to not only skip meals but reduce my cal. intake. I tried to wear bigger clothes and tried not to look at my body when I got out of the shower hoping if I didn't see it I would make progress, but as anyone with a body image problem you know it's not that easy. I can remember all the way back to a young kid not wanting to take my shirt off to go swimming and I wasn't big by any means but I thought I was. When I was 23 I was at my heaviest, 180 lbs, but it was fat not good weight. After a 2 1/2 year relationship fell apart, sols my business, had to sell my truck and losing down to 135 lbs. I was at a lost. Actually I was completely lost. Finally at 28 I decided I was tired of being skinny and unhealthy and read all the information I could find online about weight lifting and bulking up. It was a very hard battle but finally today I'm at 155 and heathly. I do know I need alot more work and it's not easy. My mood varies on each day. Like tonight I walked downstairs without a shirt on after my shower because looking at the mirror I noticed some more definition starting showing, but then again tomorrow could be a different story. I could very well see some fat around my waist and not show skin for a week. It's sad I feel this way and I know I have alot or work to do, but now at 31 I'm trying my best to be "my" best not what everyone else looks like. Thanks for listening.

[determined4000]

Hey everyone
I am new to the forum. I am almost 21 and have had an ED for about 6 years now. I have been in and out of hospitals and treatment before and nothing has worked. I have just begun seriously trying to put on weight (I am 5'2" 85-90lbs) but still have a fear of getting fat (as I was as a child). I want to make sure the weight i will be putting on will go on as muscle so I have begun lifting and increasing my calories. I was just wondering how much workng out and what ype of working out as well as how much you ate when you guys started gaining weight back and how fast I should try to gain.
Thanks

[Environ]

Hey everyone
I am new to the forum. I am almost 21 and have had an ED for about 6 years now. I have been in and out of hospitals and treatment before and nothing has worked. I have just begun seriously trying to put on weight (I am 5'2" 85-90lbs) but still have a fear of getting fat (as I was as a child). I want to make sure the weight i will be putting on will go on as muscle so I have begun lifting and increasing my calories. I was just wondering how much workng out and what ype of working out as well as how much you ate when you guys started gaining weight back and how fast I should try to gain.
Thanks

Your priority right now is to lose the fear of getting fat, learning how to eat normally, finding out more about yourself and learning to respect yourself. These will form the foundation on which you will become strong enough not to relapse ever again.

It's not advisable to start counting grams of this and pounds of that and exercising an exact amount to balance out with the food you've eaten. Recovery is not about that. Recovery is about learning to have a life that is free from the emotional baggage that goes with an ED. You may have been overweight in the past, but you're not now and, while you might be afraid of it happenning again, it's not. You have to put that fear behind you and allow yourself to eat normally.

You are at the age I was when I started recovery for the second time. Don't make the same mistakes I made, which included micro-analysis of everything I ate and did (or didn't do). Look outside of yourself and see what the world has to offer to you and what you can contribute to society.

Work on things that make you feel good about yourself - socialising, meeting people, developing skills, college, family and so on. Sure, this can involve your health and apperance too, but normally people in recovery from ED devote about 95% of their day to their health and appearance. This is not vanity either, just a way of them trying to control their fears of being free from the condition. No man, a workout takes 45 minutes and that's it. Don't let it dominate your life because life has too much to offer.

[determined4000]

how old are you now and how long did it take for you to recover (get to a healthy weight and/or change thinking)?

[RebeccaLynn]

Your priority right now is to lose the fear of getting fat, learning how to eat normally, finding out more about yourself and learning to respect yourself. These will form the foundation on which you will become strong enough not to relapse ever again.

It's not advisable to start counting grams of this and pounds of that and exercising an exact amount to balance out with the food you've eaten. Recovery is not about that. Recovery is about learning to have a life that is free from the emotional baggage that goes with an ED. You may have been overweight in the past, but you're not now and, while you might be afraid of it happenning again, it's not. You have to put that fear behind you and allow yourself to eat normally.

You are at the age I was when I started recovery for the second time. Don't make the same mistakes I made, which included micro-analysis of everything I ate and did (or didn't do). Look outside of yourself and see what the world has to offer to you and what you can contribute to society.

Work on things that make you feel good about yourself - socialising, meeting people, developing skills, college, family and so on. Sure, this can involve your health and apperance too, but normally people in recovery from ED devote about 95% of their day to their health and appearance. This is not vanity either, just a way of them trying to control their fears of being free from the condition. No man, a workout takes 45 minutes and that's it. Don't let it dominate your life because life has too much to offer.

I am a former Figure competitor and decided after my last show back in November '07, to be finished competing in the sport. It was causing Body dysmorphia and an unhealthy attitude toward food...constantly counting calories in versus calories out. It consumed my entire life for years! This post you wrote about "losing the fear of getting fat and learning how to eat normally," is exactly what should be everyones' priority. I did gain weight at first but it has been about 7 months now, and with cognitive-behavioral therapy I am trucking through this and finding the root to the obsession to deal with it head on. I just wanted everyone to know that I know numerous competitors who suffer with BDD or other ED so you are not alone!!!! Make your first priority to get healthy and after your mind is healthy, you will be motivated to train and eat clean for the right reasons. There is a lot more to life than outward appearance. God bless!

[Luke530]

Originally posted by vein5
I think all of these eating disorders are started because of our extreme diets which can screw with chemical imbalances.

I agree... I dieted for a few weeks... next thing I know... I'm annorexic... I get my **** together, start eating... and I don't even know how the **** I ever became one... you go from being a lethargic, depressed, non-eating, insomniac to a happy, cherrful, energized, sleeping beauty in about 5 weeks...

the only thing I have noticed is, before my episode 1 year ago... I was never hunrgy... now I cannot get full, no matter what I eat and how much my stomach hurts that it is full... I can still eat... it's been getting better lately though... it sure helped while I was bulking this summer

fitforlife - KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!