'Be-Be's Beautiful Body Bonanza'

[Be-Be]

New year; new journal. Took a nice little break. Found out some of my problems may have had a physical cause and thought about why I was reacting to some situation the way that I was.

Okay, guess that the physical problem was. Really, guess. Nope. Guess again. Nope, not even close. Nope. Low levels of testosterone. Seriously. Who would have figured? Especially since my hormone levels aren't perimenopausal or menopausal.

I have learned that testosterone appears to be quite important in maintaining a woman's energy level and sense of well being. Low testosterone levels in pre- and postmenopausal women can diminish motivation, induce fatigue, and contribute to low libido.

Oh, and the bonus: Recent scientific studies have shown that obese women given low doses of synthetic analogues of testosterone (nandrolone) lost more body fat and subcutaneous abdominal fat, and gained more muscle mass, than women given a placebo.

So, perhaps, my moodiness, depression and lack of motivation can be attributed to more than SAD (Seasonal Affect Disorder). However, I've also purchased full-spectrum light bulbs for my living room light fixture. Figure it can't hurt and it does light the room nicer.

I started my testosterone treatment yesterday. Not sure how long it takes to raise my levels. I'll know I'm taking too much if I grow facial hair and my voice lowers. I have to wonder if my levels dropped last winter when my breasts and hips enlarged.

So that's the physical, let's move on to the mental.

I'm not good enough. I'm taking the lack of growth in my business personal. I feel my company, and by extension myself, is being judged inadequate. I feel I'm failing to help people; that I have nothing of value to offer. I fail to make exercise and healthy eating a priority because I don't deserve it.

Intellectually, I know it's a start-up business with inadequate funding which means slow growth. I know the lack of clients (training and counseling) is due to the recession talk and election year caution. I know I have plenty of examples of successes and plenty of people who will vouch for me. But as we all know, what you think doesn't always reflect what you feel.

I don't know why 1 client who doesn't click with me (had a disaster of a 1st workout a couple days ago) can carry so much more weight than all the ones who are successes.

Financially, I'm having trouble covering my bills. Hubby is giving more money to the business but I don't want to bankrupt our personal finances to keep dumping money into a money pit. So I went out and charged $200 worth of stuff since hubby went to Hong Kong last week. Good thing I'm not self-destructive.

How about some workout and diet talk?

This month I've been trying to figure out a maintenance eating plan. I was doing okay on it but the eating has kind of got out of control this last week since hubby left on his business trip. (Because when you believe you're not good enough, you fail to make exercise and healthy eating a priority.)



I have two new favorite recipes: Oatmeal Protein Pancakes (egg sub, oats, pp, ww pancake mix, banana, cinnamon, sf syrup) and Baked Apples (apple, brown sugar, cinnamon, walnuts).

However, it's been a good month to bulk as I've tried a couple new supplements with excellent results. One is the Muscletech Leukic. I can see better muscle definition on my upper body from it. Even my boss commented on it. Unfortunately, the fat seems to have moved down to my thighs. Not hips and glutes - thighs. That's new.

The other one is N.O.-Explode. Excellent results in fueling my workouts.

And now that I'm getting my testosterone but up to par?

One reason for my challenge in finding a maintenance diet is that I've also been experimenting to find out just how much working out my body can take. Two full body workouts a week are good but there is a definite drop off in performance if I try to do a third. I do a lot of compound lifts - bent knee deadlifts, squats, chest press, lat pull-down, military press, lunges, step ups on the bench, and abs. Basic stuff like that. Plus my rehab stuff.

I've only been doing 1 cardio session a week because of my knee. I'm now up to 60 minutes on the elliptical with my heart rate between 150-160. I'm thinking I'll try 2 30 minute cardio workouts. My pilates instructor friend wants me to take some real yoga classes.



Not sure how I'll do in the transformation contest. I'm bloated from my week long binge. I've also put on a couple pounds and I'm not sure if the increased/more defined muscle will show up in a picture. But I may not get to send in pics since my camera is in Hong Kong.



So my plan for next month is to control my calories. I'm going to have a moderate deficit of 300 calories a day. I'm also going to spend more time on planning and preparing food as that makes me feel good and I eat better. I'll keep lifting twice a week and slowly increasing my cardio and hope that the extra testosterone will help my strength and endurance.



I'm refocusing on why I started my business - which is to help people - instead of worrying about it making money and throwing more money at marketing strategies. I'll relax and wait for opportunities instead of trying to force them. I think I'll start calling on churches to see if they'll let me give their congregations a free seminar. As soon as I get a cell phone with reliable service, I'll start faxing businesses again. My newsletter seems to be a success. I have over 30 people subscribed now. Many of them people that don?t know me.

I can't change my phone service right now because it somehow ended up in hubby's name. So, until he gets back from Hong Kong, I'm stuck with a phone service that drops at least every 2 out of 3 calls. I'm at the point where it's worth taking the loss of the cost of phone I just bought, the charge to break the contract, and the cost of the new phone to change. Hopefully my tax return will be more than $500.

Ugh, that's the other thing I'm working on. Business taxes. I'm getting all the details together and trying to figure out categories and what is deductible and stuff.

I'm also going to spend more time reading - fiction and nonfiction. I have been wasting too much time playing stupid computer games and watching bad TV. (Anyone see the lie-detector show? It is awful!)



Speaking of which, my computer is still not right. Hubby wants to buy me a new one but I hate to spend the money since we would have to charge it and we still haven't paid off the internal and external house improvement costs. Not to mention my business and personal debt.



In case anyone noticed, the old journal has been deleted. I decided that some of the stuff in it was too personal. I know it sounds odd since I shared it with 893,000 of my bb.com friends but it freaked me out that it could be googled. It doesn't seem very professional for someone to google my business and read the details of the abuse that I suffered when I was a child.

Thanks to E-L for the thread name suggestion. It made me smile and I hope it makes other's smile too.

[twinnett]

So good to have you back!!!!!!!!! Good luck this month at finding that caloric balance. I'm glad you've figured out what has been going on...I hope the treatments go well!

Having a new business must be so frustrating...I know you'll work through it and be successful!!

[moon girl]

Good to see you started a new journal. I'll be trying to follow along. I love reading your posts

[Emma-Leigh]

Thanks to E-L for the thread name suggestion. It made me smile and I hope it makes other's smile too.

^ Successful in that! I certainly smiled when I saw the title.

Welcome back Be-Be, good luck and all the best for your new treatment and training and everything else!

[Bret_Stevens]

Be-BE,

Best of luck in your Be-Be Beautiful Body Bonanza!

Bret

[Be-Be]

So good to have you back!!!!!!!!! Good luck this month at finding that caloric balance. I'm glad you've figured out what has been going on...I hope the treatments go well!

Having a new business must be so frustrating...I know you'll work through it and be successful!!

Thanks. I learned a long time ago that you just keep trying until you figure out what works.

Good to see you started a new journal. I'll be trying to follow along. I love reading your posts

Awww... I don't know how often I'll post. As everyone knows, being on this forum can get a bit obsessive and I'm trying to balance my life.

^ Successful in that! I certainly smiled when I saw the title.

Welcome back Be-Be, good luck and all the best for your new treatment and training and everything else!

I figured that would get you reading my journal. Thanks. Some days I wish there wasn't so much "everything else" but I suppose that would get boring after awhile.

Best of luck in your Be-Be Beautiful Body Bonanza!

Thanks, Bret. How the heck did you figure out I had a new journal? Not that you aren't more than welcome to hang out here; I just hadn't gotten around to putting it in my sig yet.

[Be-Be]

Had a very active weekend. Not much time to miss hubby at all.

The place that my pilates instructor friend works was having a special event on Saturday where they talked about their services (they also have massage and this bio-feedback thing) and had mini versions of their classes. I ended up doing 40 minutes of pilates and 30 of yoga. They also showed how to massage the bottom of your feet with a racquet ball. It feels devine but is also good if you have bunions, hammer toes, plantar fasciitis, wear heels, etc. After that I went and played my with 4-year old nephew and 2-year old niece for awhile. Nephew is getting big enough that I can't throw him up in the air anymore.

Then Sunday we had some beautiful weather with the temperature in the 50s. I was getting ready to touch up the trim in the kitchen when my friend called and said she and her boyfriend were going up to the state park to tramp around. Can't pass that up so off I went for a 2 hour hike. I was a bit worried because of my knee - especially since it hadn't been used outdoors in months - but other than some soreness at the end, it was okay. Today my foot felt tight, especially around the heel, so I've been using my racquet ball to stretch it out. Lovely.

Nothing to brag about in the eating department. Way too many cookies, frozen dinners and eating out. Plus my SIL's idea of a healthy meal was chicken parmesan (breaded/full fat cheese), white bread, white rice with junk added, and a salad with a sweet dressing and glazed almonds. Yummy and it's nice that she wanted to fix me something special, but...

Guess I need to go sit in a sauna for a few days to get rid of the bloat before contest picture time.

The walk with my friend was nice. Her boyfriend hardly got a word in edgewise but we had a good talk. It was nice to have an open discussion about some of the frustrations of working with clients as well as our own insecurities. I think she looks amazing, is strong, and very good at her job. However, she has the same dissatisfaction with herself and her abilities to help people. It reminded me that the reality is that no matter how fit, slender, or successful I am, there will always be a part that says "not good enough". It's probably my mother's voice too.

Another good thing in our discussion was it helped reinforce my decision to stop fretting about my business and trying to force results in it. She was trying to set up her own pilates studio and was getting frustrated so she relaxed and now the universe has brought her several opportunities that she hadn't even considered. Actually, I'm quite jealous of one of them in a "good for her" kind of way.

Not a very busy day today but it's all spread out. I'm trying to decide if I want to lift or should I give my knee a break. Thinking about going to the sauna and sweating. Maybe grocery shopping. Need to finish getting my tax prep stuff for the accountant. Still haven't touched up the trim in the kitchen. Maybe I'll just read my new Stephen King book. I've got a newbie to train tonight. She's stuck on having a certain scale number/thigh circumfrence/jean size so I'm not sure how well she'll take to resistance training. She also had an epidermal 10 years ago which she (mentally) hasn't recovered from so the first few sessions will be about teaching her to trust her body. After that, hopefully, she'll be willing to build back up her muscles to where they should be and to actually use her core. We all know she'll be happier with her body if it has muscles to put curves in the right areas but she's brainwashed by society to believe she just needs to diet more and lose more weight. (She's only at 25% bf so she doesn't really have that much to lose. Especially if she puts on a minimum amount of muscle.) Oh, well. Hopefully she'll listen and someday it will click.

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. - Stendhal, 19th century French writer

[ShapingUp]

Hey there! I wondered what happened to you! Good to see you back at it. That's interesting - the testosterone thing. I hope this medication does what it should and gets you back to your old self real soon. The one that knows she "is good enough"!

[GyMgrrrL]

Hey! I'm so glad to see you back!! I was wondering how you were doing, since the last few posts in your old journal weren't too bright and shiny- I was hoping all was ok! Glad you're starting with a new, clean, slate!!

[moon girl]

Sounds like you're keeping busy with work and fun things as well.

I think the pressure of society to be skinny is hard to get out. I catch myself feeling that way too, even though I love my muscles and lifting weights. Hope your new girl sees the light though

[sherdi]

Hey a new journal!

Love the name!!!

[Be-Be]

Hey there! I wondered what happened to you! Good to see you back at it. That's interesting - the testosterone thing. I hope this medication does what it should and gets you back to your old self real soon. The one that knows she "is good enough"!

It is interesting. But the results of the medication is undecided at best. Sometimes it helps - sometimes not so much. But I've always wanted whiskers anyway.

Hey! I'm so glad to see you back!! I was wondering how you were doing, since the last few posts in your old journal weren't too bright and shiny- I was hoping all was ok! Glad you're starting with a new, clean, slate!!

Still not doing too well. Lately I've been thinking about the effort to try to become the person you would like to be as opposed to just being the person you are. When you are in alignment with your place in the universe, it doesn't feel like a constant battle. You feel peace and contentment. So am I going through a birthing process to be this new person or am I just making myself miserable by not accepting myself as I am? How can you tell? How do you know when to change course? Sigh. And in the meantime, the business is stalled, the debt is increasing and I'm not helping anyone. Even my personal training job is stagnet. Last year I had about 30 clients per week and this year I'm lucky to get 15.

I think perhaps my ego is overpowering my decision making ability. In hindsight I can see where it was making some not-so-wise decisions. I need to figure out a way to re-center and listen to my heart.

Sounds like you're keeping busy with work and fun things as well.

I think the pressure of society to be skinny is hard to get out. I catch myself feeling that way too, even though I love my muscles and lifting weights. Hope your new girl sees the light though

Work was supposed to be fun but I lost that somewhere. It's easy to lose balance in one's life.

I think she's not too serious anyway. She's cancelled 3 appointments this week. Hasn't actually worked out for over a week now.

Hey a new journal!

Love the name!!!

Brand new journal without a lot of baggage. I don't think E-L was seriously suggesting the name but it was so cute and positive that I had to use it!

------------------------------

Had a weird thing happen yesterday. Yesterday I didn't have my protein pancake for b-fast but some grape-nuts, blueberries and skim milk (along with my supps). Felt fine, worked a couple sessions, lifted, ate a banana, and then started my third session. Felt sicker than a dog. Dizzy, sick to my stomach, etc. Didn't feel hungry at all but when I got home, I figured I should eat because it was the appropriate time and I was low on protein anyway. Not that low protein has ever caused those symptoms. Anyway, I started eating and couldn't stop for 1,500+ calories. I was starving! Keep in mind, I've been eating at least maintenance calories and probably more than maintenance overall. But it has been a lot of frozen meals, eating out, and cereal so not super nutritous overall. I'm not sure what caused that since I've never felt that way before. I mean, right now my stomach is growling and I can feel my blood sugar is off, but nothing like feeling dizzy and like I'm going to throw up. Weird.

[arose70]

HOW did I miss this?!!?!?!?!?!?!?

BEEBS!

This is very interesting...I've had that issue as well-when to accept yourself and when to try to become a different/better person. as with everything (so cliche) it's a balance I think. You have to love yourself at every step of the way and accept your faults as you try to change them.

I am fully in agreement with listening to your heart .

PM me if you want to chat but not put it in your journal .

[SexyBack]

Hi BeBe, found your new journal. Good luck with all of your goals!

[twinnett]

I hope you're feeling better today?????

[Be-Be]

HOW did I miss this?!!?!?!?!?!?!?

BEEBS!

This is very interesting...I've had that issue as well-when to accept yourself and when to try to become a different/better person. as with everything (so cliche) it's a balance I think. You have to love yourself at every step of the way and accept your faults as you try to change them.

I am fully in agreement with listening to your heart .

PM me if you want to chat but not put it in your journal .

I suppose it's about compromise. Kind of like a diet: if you try to conform to someone else's diet, you fail - but if you find a maintainable weight-control program which meets your own biological and psychologicl needs, you'll succeed. So I guess it's about empowering myself to choose how to live my life (and to choose what to put in my mouth, for that matter) with consideration of my needs. Kind of like marriage too. And like marriage, easier said than done.

Hi BeBe, found your new journal. Good luck with all of your goals!

Thanks!

I hope you're feeling better today?????

I'm definitely trying to get sick. Must be why I was so hungry the other day. Unfortunately (and due in part to my poor-nutrition diet lately, I'm sure), I seem to be losing the battle. I'm feeling weak enough, I'm even skipping my workout today. And hubby is coming home tonight!
----------------------------
Nobody here subscribed to my newsletter but in case someone is interested, here's February's issue. I welcome comments and questions regarding the content or related health and wellness subjects.

[SexyBack]

Is there a fee to subscribe to your news letter?
I wouldn't mind posting it up at work for others to read...

[twinnett]

Same here...they're trying to be more healthy! How do you subscribe?? I like the recipe!!

[Be-Be]

Thanks, Sexyback, that's a great compliment.

To subscribe, just send your eamil to freenewsletter@fitwell-lifestyles.com. No charge for it and as long as you give Fitwell (me) credit, you can use it however you want - including handing it out or forwarding it to everyone you know.

Twinnett, isn't that a fun recipe? I wanted something with chocolate that wasn't just another dessert and figured it's good weather for chili. Though I've never heard of peanut butter in chili before. Last month, I had a client try and really like the shrimp skewers from January's newsletter.

I think next month will be about SMART goals. Perhaps beans for the food of the month. Or maybe nuts. I'm hoping as more people receive the newsletter, it will become more and more reader driven. Perhaps with a whole page of reader comments and questions.

[Fisher33]

Glad your back. I like the title of this Journal much better.
I wish you the best!

[Be-Be]

Thanks, Fisher. It is a better name, isn't it? Much more positive.


If you're looking for salad fixings with a little more body, then be sure and try this brand.

What probably happened is, the water the lettuce was washed in contained polliwogs and these became fresh new frogs, right in the packages.

[moon girl]

That'd scare the crap out of me! I didn't even realize it when I first looked at the picture. I'd probably be oblivious enough to open the package without seeing it, too. *shudders in disgust*

[Be-Be]

Well, let's hope it was a hoax, moon girl.

End of Week Wrap-up
2 days of walking the dog and 1 day of tramping through the mud and snow at the nature sanctuary for over an hour. 1 1/2 hours of couples yoga with hubby - a lot of stretching and massage - nice.

Lifting - Tuesday (Leutek & N.O. Explode)
3 sets of 10 reps
Deadlift: 40# db
SS DB Shoulder Press: 30#
Wide Grip Lat Pulldown: 90#
SS Lunge: 40# db
Various ab exercises including bicycles, leg lifts and crunches
PT rehab

Lifting - Saturday (Leutek & N.O. Explode)
3 sets of 10 reps
Squat: 45# db PB
SS Push-up
Seated Row: 95#
SS Step up on bench: 25# (okay, I just did 2 sets. I hate these and they bug my knee a bit.)
Various ab exercises including bicycles, leg lifts and crunches
PT rehab

Diet: Dunno. I haven't felt much like recording it, weighing myself, or taking any kind of measurements. I've been eating cereal for breakfast (caramel fiber 1) and I made a huge pot of ham and (mostly) bean soup with lots and lots of veges for dinner. Still not doing great on my mid day meals and snacks.


Next week: the first workout again and then the second one but with 3 sets of 8. Not sure if my hands can handle more weight on the deadlifts and squats but the worst thing that can happen is that I drop them.

Personal
I've decided that I've gotten too caught up in the superficial and need to refocus on what I really need to fill fulfilled and satisfied. For instance, with my work, helping people is what I really want - not making a lot of money. So I'm trying to not worry about paying bills and focusing on better ways to get my message out. As a result of several things that have happened, I have a new idea.

I'm going to put together a "Fun Fitness Day" program with myself and perhaps some other related businesses. This will be my "product" that I take to churches, clubs, and businesses. For a relatively small amount - say $10-$20 per person depending on the length of the "day" - the participants will be given some practical advice on nutrition, stress relief, losing fat, and related items and participate in some activities such as "floor pilates", "torso training", "livingroom workout", "resistance training with bands", "self foot massage", stuff like that. And there will be some light, healthy snacks. I have a pilates instructor, life coach and chiropractor/acupunturist who are interested in participating. I can change up the activities and lecture depending on the audience. It'll be a $500 investment on my part but I will hopefully make that up in 3 events. Hopefully I can get hubby to give mini-health assessments and get some counseling clients from that.

That reminds me. I need to print out a list of churches by size.

[twinnett]

That sounds like a great idea!! I'm sure you'll be happier focusing on what you love about helping people and not stressing about the money!

[arose70]

that sounds like a great idea beebs! you seem to be stepping back and realizing the important things in life...good for you . that ham and bean soup sounds great!!!!....recipe????

Hope monday is finding you well!

[moon girl]

That "fun fitness day" sounds like a great idea! I hope it works out. And good for you for focusing on what you enjoy doing!

I'm such a sucker - I thought that frog pic was you holding the bag

That cartoon made me laugh

[Be-Be]

That sounds like a great idea!! I'm sure you'll be happier focusing on what you love about helping people and not stressing about the money!

That's the plan! But it would really help if they'd stop sending these pesky bills. Luckily, my boss is going out of the country for two weeks starting Saturday. That'll mean 2 good paychecks as I'll be covering with him along with the new guy.

that sounds like a great idea beebs! you seem to be stepping back and realizing the important things in life...good for you . that ham and bean soup sounds great!!!!....recipe????

Things really do get to me worse in the winter. Oh, well. Just another few weeks and it'll be spring. At least there's more sunshine now. Nothing worse than going to work in the dark and coming home in the dark.

Ham and Bean Recipe
Find 2 packages of cajun 15 bean soup mix on sale. Soak beans overnight plus most the next day. Fill up half of the 5 quart crockpot with 2 cans rotel tomotoes, 1 can diced tomatoes, a bunch of carrots, celery and onions. Then add the 2 packages (about 1 1/2 pounds) of cubed ham that you found on sale. Remember you still need to add beans. Drain and rinse beans and dump into crockpot. Add included spices and minced garlic. Add as much water as possible without it overflowing. Worry to hubby that there isn't enough water. Try to mix it up without slopping it over the sides. Give up and pat it all down the best you can. Float lid on it and hope volume will decrease as veges cook down. Next morning check and see that it did cook down enough to now be able to stir properly. Barely. Stir and cook awhile longer. Tell hubby it'll be very thick soup. Eventually remember it's still cooking and turn off. I put it in individual serving size containers to cool quicker.

That "fun fitness day" sounds like a great idea! I hope it works out. And good for you for focusing on what you enjoy doing!

I think I will enjoy it. I should probably read up a bit on teaching group classes.

I'm such a sucker - I thought that frog pic was you holding the bag

Ick - what hairy arms I have!

That cartoon made me laugh

Me too!

Fitness Update:
Well, my weight up to my winter weight. Nope, not muscle, bf% is up too. However, I have had some strength gains. So I guess I've had a successful 6 week bulk.

So I went back and flipped through "Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle" by Tom Venuto. Mainly because one of his email newsletters talked about the apple secret to losing weight. I didn't remember reading that so I went and looked. Still didn't find it but I did come across Tom's suggestion of low calorie/low carb diet for 3 days and a higher calorie/regular carb diet for 1 day to lose weight. So basically, you do 40/40/20 for 3 days and 50/30/20 for 1 day. Then you adjust the 3 "diet" days according to the results. So, perhaps back in November, my mistake was going too many days in a row without a refeed.

Depending on which method you use, my RMR is between 1650 & 1900 so I'll start with that as my range. I'll also try to have only 1 or 2 moderate cheat meals a week. Too bad one of my clients gave me 2 boxes of girl scout cookies for my birthday. I'm also going to load up my calories early in the day. I give that advice all the time; I really should follow it. If I lose weight too fast, I'll up my calories and if I don't lose weight, I'll increase the amount of time or intensity of my cardio (knee permitting). From now through my birthday on Saturday will be a transition time. Five days to ramp up (down) should be plenty and it allows me to enjoy Tres Mare for my birthday. I've heard the food there is very rich. And we know what "rich" means when a resturaunt uses it.

I'm also trying to get one of my clients to follow this new plan. If it seems to work, I have another client that I'll push it on also.

The apple secret? On Monday eat 1 apple 15 minutes before lunch and 1 15 minutes before dinner. On Tuesday eat 1 apple 15 minutes before lunch and 2 before dinner. Repeat on Wednesday. Then leave the apples alone until the next Monday. Yep, that's it. It anyone tries it let me know. Personally, I need to get the basics under control before I start tweaking the details. Perhaps if I stall out again at 187ish, I'll try it.

So the plan is, over the next year to lose 24 pounds (199.6 to 175.6) which should take my bf% down from 32.1 to around 20%.

[moon girl]

That apple secret sounds kind of interesting. Maybe I'll try it some time, just for fun

Happy early birthday

[amj0883]

Good luck on reaching your goals! I'm sure that you will reach them and we will all be here to support you on the way

Happy Early Birthday!

[Be-Be]

That apple secret sounds kind of interesting. Maybe I'll try it some time, just for fun

Happy early birthday

Let me know if it works!

I found a brand new wrinkle yesterday.

Good luck on reaching your goals! I'm sure that you will reach them and we will all be here to support you on the way

Happy Early Birthday!

Thanks!

And did I mention that I found a new wrinkle yesterday?

It is the path of least resistance that makes rivers and men crooked. - B.J. Palmer, father of chiropractic

In other news:
Last night I went out to dinner with hubby and his out of country work guests. I had met 1 guy (the one from England) before but had never met the other 3.

So there I am in my too-tight fat slacks wondering if my muffin top is obvious with the sweater I'm wearing and we go to an Italian place. They order an appetizer so I pass the breadsticks and olive oil mixture to the other end of the table. They start taking the bread and one asks if I wanted some. Before I can answer, another one that I've never met said "She doesn't want them, she's one of those healthy eaters". Huh? I have an international reputation of eating healthy? I hadn't even eaten healthy last time I had dinner with the UK guy (burger and beer - just to be polite since that's what he got - really). I mean it's good that people perceive me that way since that's what I'm trying to portray but that is so different than the reality that it boggles my mind when people actually buy the fiction. Perhaps it was more believable since they didn't know me.

Didn't end up eating healthy anyway (though they seem to think I did since I only ate half of it and little of the appetizer). I got a tortillini dish and was talking to someone after asking for cheese so it got a WHOLE BUNCH of cheese added. Quite tasty, actually, for a heart attack on a plate. And I didn't exercise yesterday for reasons that ended up being excuses. Too many schedule changes, last minute meeting cancelations, and sudden dinner invitations.