Best rap punchlines

[nitr0x2]

post up the best rap punchlines you've heard

[Mrs Grudge]

I'm like stevie wonder I can't see a brother beating me ~ Lord finesse

[A FREAK]

Eazy E on the song straight outta compton- "My identity by itself causes violence"

[Mad Dog162]

Yeah I sampled your voice, you were using it wrong. You made it a hot line, I made it a hot song.

Actually, the whole of Takeover, by Jay-Z is a great rap diss.

This man ain't no mother-****in' MC / I know everything he's got to say against me / I am white, I am a ****ing bum / I do live in a trailer with my mom / My boy future is an Uncle Tom / I do got a dumb friend named Cheddar Bob / Who shoots himself in the leg with his own gun / I did get jumped by all six of you chumps / And Wink did **** my girl / I'm still standing here screaming "**** the Free World."

And, "You never gonna judge me, though / 'Cause you don't know what the **** I've been through / But I know something about you / You went to Cranbrook - that's a private school / What's the matter, dog? / You're embarrassed? / This guy's a gangster? / His real name is Clarence / And Clarence lives at home wit both parents / And Clarence parents have a real good marriage... "

"**** off, Papa Doc, **** the clock, **** the trailer, **** everybody. **** y'all if you doubt me. I'm a piece of ****ing white trash and I say it proudly. And **** this battle, I don't wanna win, I'm outie. Here, tell these people something they don't know about me."

[CEEofGraySkull]

Ill shove my foot so far up in your ass, the water in my knee will quench your thirst. Rass Kass - Miami Life

[BORN2BREED]

I like the classic

"Put a quarter in your ass cause you played yourself!"

[spamking]

You aint a Leader..Nobody ever Followed you, Your ass was a Mistake..Yo Momma Should Have Swallowed you

[karmazon]

"Never the king of New York, You live in Connecticut" -Jadakiss

[dark_man812]

"I'll Stick my d!ck in your ear and **** what you heard."--Rakim

[blood vs. water]

forgot who said it but : "you couldnt beat me to death if i let you jump first"

juice - "i leave this mutha****a so hot it will be sizzlin i havent even started my reign im only drizzling"

breeze evaflowin - "*****s so pussy when they spit dicks slide out"

big L - "ask beavis i get nothin but head"

juice - "my tape's so dope it should have came with two syringes"

juice has plenty of sick punchlines

[spamking]

"knocked out so many teeth, the tooth fairy went bankrupt"

"I sell ice in the winter, i sell fire in hell, i am a hustla baby i sell water to a well"
JayZ

[Mrs Grudge]

"I drop more shells then pregnant crabs" ~ Jus Allah

"I'm like fresh prince of bal air cuz I fill up banks" ~ 40 Cal

"Your faker then blue eyed crackers nailed to a crucifix"~ Immortal Technique

"Your coming up short like a million midgets masturbating"~ Ras Kass

[Nonphixion90]

Yeah I sampled your voice, you were using it wrong. You made it a hot line, I made it a hot song.

Actually, the whole of Takeover, by Jay-Z is a great rap diss.

This man ain't no mother-****in' MC / I know everything he's got to say against me / I am white, I am a ****ing bum / I do live in a trailer with my mom / My boy future is an Uncle Tom / I do got a dumb friend named Cheddar Bob / Who shoots himself in the leg with his own gun / I did get jumped by all six of you chumps / And Wink did **** my girl / I'm still standing here screaming "**** the Free World."

And, "You never gonna judge me, though / 'Cause you don't know what the **** I've been through / But I know something about you / You went to Cranbrook - that's a private school / What's the matter, dog? / You're embarrassed? / This guy's a gangster? / His real name is Clarence / And Clarence lives at home wit both parents / And Clarence parents have a real good marriage... "

"**** off, Papa Doc, **** the clock, **** the trailer, **** everybody. **** y'all if you doubt me. I'm a piece of ****ing white trash and I say it proudly. And **** this battle, I don't wanna win, I'm outie. Here, tell these people something they don't know about me."

smh @ 8 Mile quotes, ***got


"Mad Hoes...Ask bevis, I get nuttin butt-head"

[justin00008]

"And as for you sucka you can keep those raps, and screw your awards my son cant eat those plaques"-Jada...


"Block is just fine, homie, the D's straight
Most likely your new CD is a weed plate.
Bunch of love songs, 100% pure garbage
Just somethin' to break up buds on"-Jada...

[BrentA-AUS]

Even if you were a casino dealer you couldn't pull my ****ing card n****. Lord Finesse

[ajzoot]

"My knife CUTCHA SKEEEEEEEEEN" - 50 cent, piggy bank

[blood vs. water]

fifty ugh, bentley ugh - hands down sickest punchline in the entire universe

[gregdro]

"you couldnt spark a rhyme even if your ink was gasoline" - dmx

Now let's take it back to Vibe awards
Where that ***** disrespect and then snuffed your boss
A minute ago, all I heard was G-G-G-G-Unit
Fifty *****z ran and they didn't even do ****
-fat joe

all same song:

Peep the style and the way the cops sweat us (uh-huh)
The number one question is can the Feds get us (uh-huh)
I got vendettas in dice games against ass betters (uh-huh)
and *****z who pump wheels and drive Jettas
Take that witcha..
- jayz

.. Who shot ya? Mob ties like Sinatra
Peruvians tried to do me in, I ain't paid them yet
Tryin to push 700's, they ain't made them yet
-biggie

Me and Gutter had two spots
The two for five dollar hits, the blue tops
Gotta go, Coolio mean it's gettin "Too Hot"
If Fay' had twins, she'd probably have two-Pac's
Get it? .. Tu-pac's
-biggie (rofl)

here is the most old school:
still leave you on the pavement
Condo paid for, no car payment
At my arraignment, note for the plantiff
Your daughter's tied up in a Brooklyn basement
-biggie flowed it nice

[Mrs Grudge]

"I break fast like flap jacks and bacon" ~ Biggie

[UliqMadiq]

"I'll blast if cheese at stake (steak) like the city of Philly
It's really
The gat talking for me, that's why I named my nine Milli Vanilli"
- Murda Mook

[Mrs Grudge]

"Youll get pissed on like pregnacy test" ~ Cassidy

[UliqMadiq]

"Said she loved my necklace, started relaxin'
Now that's what the f**k I call a chain reaction"
- Jay-Z



"Low as Saddam and his pawn, so unharmed, I'm unarmed,
No I'm calm, i can yawn, sing a song,
I'm the Don King of Dons, King Kong can bring it on,
Word is bomb."
- AZ



"I never cry, if I did I'd cry ice"
From my n*gga Sauce, I hit you with this advice
Life's short, so play hard and stick hard
and the only time you love 'em is when your dick hard"
- Jay-Z



"I got some clips that'll blow your b*tch outta her blouse
Then blow your eyes on your lips, make you literally watch what's comin' outta your mouth"
- Murda Mook

[Big Ad]

some good ones in this thread

the most disturbing "punch line" i've ever heard is this from Biggie...

"when i met you i admit my first thought was to trip, you look so good i'd suck on your daddy's d1ck..."

[Mrs Grudge]

"**** laxidents I'll beat the **** out of you!
And if your pregnant bitch Ill beat the kid out of you!" - Celph Titled


What ni99a **** you I get respect from the rappers you look up to/ So even when I die and your standing on my grave, im gonna still be above you!" ~ Jae Millz


"I know b1tches who deep throat it/ Guns like the matrix 2 they reloaded" ~ Party Arty


A tech nine is my utencil filling ni99a's up with so much led they can use their dick for a pencil ~ Big L

[gregdro]

Jadakiss - Time's Up Lyrics (basically those whole song is 1 big ass punchline)


Yeah, yo, I'm the ***** with the perpetual oyster bars
Mother of pearl delivery, voice of God
And...it's hard just being the boss
Being I can't go to jail cause them years'll cost me
Don't get me wrong, lay a ***** down if he force me
Rather just sit back and roll a dutch
Think how I'ma put the game in the cobra clutch
Think about how I'ma get the 'caine over Customs
Never underestimate *****z, or over trust them
Uh...yeah them M's is right in my face
I just gotta throw my Timbs on and tighten my lace
If it don't jam, the Tech will spray
When I spit everybody gotta split like pepper spray
Cause I'm a ***** that hate to settle
I'm a man of the Lord but I still can't shake the devil
Moved away and still can't escape the ghetto, what

[Chorus: Nate Dogg]
The time to talk is up
So bring the heat, play time is over
While you running your mouth I'm creeping up over your shoulder
A gun, a knife, a bat, a brick, anything I can get my hands on
Call my bluff, start acting up, and I'll leave you underground

[Jadakiss]
I know how to get my pairs off me
They can cry and die from high blood pressure cause tears are salty
It's a symptom if you bobbin your head
Know that he's sick, know the flow is ridic', now throw him a grip
When I get it, you already know I'm throwin them bricks
Puttin purple everywhere, daddy, I'm throwin them nicks
That's right, homey, you can't move me
I ain't goin nowhere, I'm in the hood like bootleg movies
All you shootin is the breeze, a bootleg uzi
I'm just waitin on a que like Suzie, don't lose me
These penitentiary chances that I take
Should be able to get the mansion by the lake
But I invest my bread into something else
Into something else that'll make something melt
You just gotta feel the kid
if not rap for the fact of how real he is, what up

[Chorus]

[Jadakiss]
Aiyo, *****z know the champ is in here
He took it from crack to rap, now he put out two anthems a year
And I just wanna rock for a century
And then chase the book with the documentary
If you, can't do nothin other than flow
Life's a bitch like the mother from +Blow+, let's go
Don't make me put your heart in your lap
**** ridin the beat, *****, I parallel park on the track
Hop out lookin crispy, fresh and new
In the six, but it's a BM, and it's Pepsi blue
And, I don't know you.
But I know a man becomes a man from all the **** that he go through
Ya'll ain't ****in with Jason
After I cash in, it's really no justification
Of how I'm gonna change the game, so don't get outta line
Cause this little nine will change your frame, what up

[Famosa]

Just a few from Chino XL :

'Without HIV I'm positive you don't wanna test...I leave rappers confused like homeless cats on house arrest.'- Chino XL

'Clear the runways, cause I'ma make you rappers my examples
Avoiding battling me like I'm Eazy-E's blood samples ' - Chino XL

'You get KILT like them plad skirts scottish men be wearin' - Chino XL

'How the broke crooks in videos leave me stressed
I'll turn on channel 2 if I wanna CBS, bitch (See BS)' - Chino XL

'Think of me as a caveman, I invented Fire' - Chino XL

'I'm rarely seen, loch ness and bigfoot take pictures of me' - Chino XL

'A samauri how i shoegun (show gun)' - Chino XL

'Chino dissed me, rappers whine/To disrespect you I would have had to had respected you at some time/ I never did and don't care so come up for air put your money where your mouth is make my crotch a millionaire' - Chino XL

'These Homos been in the closet so long i'ma donate them to the Salvation Army' - Chino XL

'I died a thousand deaths to posses skills such as this'
'With delivery like where arabs live in-tents(Intense)' - Chino XL

[WIP]

Just a few from Chino XL :

'Without HIV I'm positive you don't wanna test...I leave rappers confused like homeless cats on house arrest.'- Chino XL

'Clear the runways, cause I'ma make you rappers my examples
Avoiding battling me like I'm Eazy-E's blood samples ' - Chino XL

'You get KILT like them plad skirts scottish men be wearin' - Chino XL

'How the broke crooks in videos leave me stressed
I'll turn on channel 2 if I wanna CBS, bitch (See BS)' - Chino XL

'Think of me as a caveman, I invented Fire' - Chino XL

'I'm rarely seen, loch ness and bigfoot take pictures of me' - Chino XL

'A samauri how i shoegun (show gun)' - Chino XL

'Chino dissed me, rappers whine/To disrespect you I would have had to had respected you at some time/ I never did and don't care so come up for air put your money where your mouth is make my crotch a millionaire' - Chino XL

'These Homos been in the closet so long i'ma donate them to the Salvation Army' - Chino XL

'I died a thousand deaths to posses skills such as this'
'With delivery like where arabs live in-tents(Intense)' - Chino XL

damn.......

[dark_man812]

"I carry more tricks up my sleeve than a three dollar hooker on 2 for 1 night."-DarkPoet

You've heated me and you're better off repeatedly letting King Kong sodomize you while wearing a cactus condom lubricated with sandpaper."--DarkPoet

"Bust all over your couch now you've got Seimens furniture."--Phife Dawg

[UliqMadiq]

"You couldn't spit if you were a virgin b***h who hates swallowing
Leave you wit fat lips like chicks getting collagen"
- Apathy

[UliqMadiq]

Just a few from Chino XL :

'Without HIV I'm positive you don't wanna test...I leave rappers confused like homeless cats on house arrest.'- Chino XL

'Clear the runways, cause I'ma make you rappers my examples
Avoiding battling me like I'm Eazy-E's blood samples ' - Chino XL

'You get KILT like them plad skirts scottish men be wearin' - Chino XL

'How the broke crooks in videos leave me stressed
I'll turn on channel 2 if I wanna CBS, bitch (See BS)' - Chino XL

'Think of me as a caveman, I invented Fire' - Chino XL

'I'm rarely seen, loch ness and bigfoot take pictures of me' - Chino XL

'A samauri how i shoegun (show gun)' - Chino XL

'Chino dissed me, rappers whine/To disrespect you I would have had to had respected you at some time/ I never did and don't care so come up for air put your money where your mouth is make my crotch a millionaire' - Chino XL

'These Homos been in the closet so long i'ma donate them to the Salvation Army' - Chino XL

'I died a thousand deaths to posses skills such as this'
'With delivery like where arabs live in-tents(Intense)' - Chino XL

Chino spits quality