Suppressing gayness

**tellmethetruth** · 01-07-2006, 05:19 PM

Deep down I think Im gay, I just dont want to admit it for various reasons. Family will be mad; social disapproval; not wanting to accept it; etc. But is it better to bury and ignore these feelings, or embrace gayness and have sex with guys?
I envision myself in the future giving in to it, so why not accept it now? I dont know. Something is telling me to put it off, so thats my only dilemna. What should I do.

**TwiztedbyDesign** · 01-07-2006, 05:22 PM

no dude hold out on accepting it, its best to do it when you are in your late 30s have a wife and 2.5 teenaged children and a nice "conservative" job

**aCCel** · 01-07-2006, 05:23 PM

just gotta learn to let go of what other people think and do what makes you feel right, life is too short to waste on account of other people's thoughts

**cowboyathlete** · 01-07-2006, 05:24 PM

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...07612&page=470

Welcome out. It sounds like you know what you feel and are having trouble admitting to it. Is there anyone locally you can talk to about it? For many of us, our families never have accepted it, for others they have.

**tellmethetruth** · 01-07-2006, 05:28 PM

Hey Cowboy thanks for that link. Thats right I dont have anyone close to me to talk to. I know of a gay/lesbian hotline to call for these sort of things, but I feel cheesy doing it for some reason.

Also to that guy who said come out after I get married isnt going to happen because I wouldnt ever have kids or sex with a woman or marriage, because Im gay. So that is not a concern. What I meant is come out now, and stop living in denial like I am now in ordre to please family and society.

**cowboyathlete** · 01-07-2006, 05:29 PM

Originally Posted by tellmethetruth

Hey Cowboy thanks for that link. Thats right I dont have anyone close to me to talk to. I know of a gay/lesbian hotline to call for these sort of things, but I feel cheesy doing it for some reason.

Also to that guy who said come out after I get married isnt going to happen because I wouldnt ever have kids or sex with a woman or marriage, because Im gay. So that is not a concern. What I meant is come out now, and stop living in denial like I am now in ordre to please family and society.

I suggest giving the hotline a shot at least. You gotta come out to yourself and be comfortable with it before you tell your family, find some friends, etc.

**TwiztedbyDesign** · 01-07-2006, 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by tellmethetruth

Hey Cowboy thanks for that link. Thats right I dont have anyone close to me to talk to. I know of a gay/lesbian hotline to call for these sort of things, but I feel cheesy doing it for some reason.

Also to that guy who said come out after I get married isnt going to happen because I wouldnt ever have kids or sex with a woman or marriage, because Im gay. So that is not a concern. What I meant is come out now, and stop living in denial like I am now in ordre to please family and society.

it was a joke bro... good luck with your self discover... why not go to like a gay club 40 miles away from your house (so no one will see you) and see if it feels right

**tellmethetruth** · 01-07-2006, 05:35 PM

10-4 on the gay activity out of town, might try it!
My mom is always on me about getting a girlfriend, and Im running out of excuses to tell her. I used to rely on saying all girls from 18-21 are in party mode and Im not, which worked well. But now that Im getting older these girls are looking for serious relationships, and my mom knows this.

**cowboyathlete** · 01-07-2006, 05:44 PM

Originally Posted by tellmethetruth

10-4 on the gay activity out of town, might try it!
My mom is always on me about getting a girlfriend, and Im running out of excuses to tell her. I used to rely on saying all girls from 18-21 are in party mode and Im not, which worked well. But now that Im getting older these girls are looking for serious relationships, and my mom knows this.

Where do you live? Not that I am gonna go grab your butt or anything, just curious.

**tellmethetruth** · 01-07-2006, 05:48 PM

I live in Canada, Ontario.

**BB is 4 life :)** · 01-07-2006, 05:57 PM

Dude if your gay your gay, if people dont accept you....**** um....no not that way, i mean just forget um and move on with your life.

Dont fear to live your life as the person you really are just because some people in it might not approve, life is too short to live for others....read the james dean quote from my sig, says it how it is.

**Thinman** · 01-07-2006, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by tellmethetruth

Deep down I think Im gay, I just dont want to admit it for various reasons. Family will be mad; social disapproval; not wanting to accept it; etc. But is it better to bury and ignore these feelings, or embrace gayness and have sex with guys?
I envision myself in the future giving in to it, so why not accept it now? I dont know. Something is telling me to put it off, so thats my only dilemna. What should I do.

You are 23 years old, go with your feelings. In the long run you will better off for it. You have nothing to be ashamed about.

**Jhendi82** · 01-07-2006, 06:59 PM

Do what feels right, be yourself.

**Mr. Independent** · 01-07-2006, 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by tellmethetruth

Deep down I think Im gay, I just dont want to admit it for various reasons. Family will be mad; social disapproval; not wanting to accept it; etc. But is it better to bury and ignore these feelings, or embrace gayness and have sex with guys?
I envision myself in the future giving in to it, so why not accept it now? I dont know. Something is telling me to put it off, so thats my only dilemna. What should I do.

No I wouldn't embrace these feelings. If I discovered that I was a serial killer deep down and it felt good to kill people would I do it? No, because it is immoral. I am not gay so I dont want to tell you what to do but embracing it may have long term consequences. I definitely wouldn't act out on it. If you can do some praying and soul searching and think long and hard about your decision because its very important. I would try to go out with girls if I were you before giving up so fast. Maybe its just a phase who knows? If you need anyone to talk to I am here for you. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk.

-Eric

**cowboyathlete** · 01-07-2006, 07:28 PM

Originally Posted by Mr. Independent

No I wouldn't embrace these feelings. If I discovered that I was a serial killer deep down and it felt good to kill people would I do it? No, because it is immoral. I am not gay so I dont want to tell you what to do but embracing it may have long term consequences. I definitely wouldn't act out on it. If you can do some praying and soul searching and think long and hard about your decision because its very important. I would try to go out with girls if I were you before giving up so fast. Maybe its just a phase who knows? If you need anyone to talk to I am here for you. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk.

-Eric

"Pay no attention to that man behind the closet!"

**Stinker** · 01-07-2006, 07:33 PM

Do what makes you happy.

**Tiger Driver** · 01-07-2006, 07:38 PM

Just accept it and be happy with who you are. No need to try to please everyone around you by pretending to be straight

**Amris** · 01-07-2006, 07:48 PM

You have to be who you are. You're already unhappy. You'll be unhappy being forever without a partner to love. You have to give up something, no matter what you do.

And you never know, you may be surprised that your family may just come around sooner rather than later.

Try what someone said earlier, give it a test drive in a distant town. If you find yourself in love with someone, find yourself feeling happier, then it's time to out with it. If you find it not worth it, then find a way to deal with the alone-ness of it in the name of family harmony.

**DJ Hogue** · 01-07-2006, 07:54 PM

Have you ever been with a girl?

**cowboyathlete** · 01-07-2006, 08:15 PM

Originally Posted by DJ Hogue

Have you ever been with a girl?

Have you ever been with a guy?

**cowboyathlete** · 01-07-2006, 08:19 PM

Gay or straight, you still gotta lift, eat, sleep, repeat...

**Toph** · 01-07-2006, 08:21 PM

Originally Posted by Mr. Independent

No I wouldn't embrace these feelings. If I discovered that I was a serial killer deep down and it felt good to kill people would I do it? No, because it is immoral.
-Eric

Ok I think you might be a little bit off comparing homosexuality to serial killings

**2pounds** · 01-07-2006, 08:39 PM

Originally Posted by Toph

Ok I think you might be a little bit off comparing homosexuality to serial killings

I agree

**cowboyathlete** · 01-07-2006, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by Toph

Ok I think you might be a little bit off comparing homosexuality to serial killings

Unless he is trying to tell us he is a serial killer.

**Thinman** · 01-07-2006, 09:26 PM

Originally Posted by Mr. Independent

No I wouldn't embrace these feelings. If I discovered that I was a serial killer deep down and it felt good to kill people would I do it? No, because it is immoral. I am not gay so I dont want to tell you what to do but embracing it may have long term consequences. I definitely wouldn't act out on it. If you can do some praying and soul searching and think long and hard about your decision because its very important. I would try to go out with girls if I were you before giving up so fast. Maybe its just a phase who knows? If you need anyone to talk to I am here for you. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk.

-Eric

My friend, Shame on you.

**Inox** · 01-07-2006, 10:23 PM

Originally Posted by tellmethetruth

My mom is always on me about getting a girlfriend, and Im running out of excuses to tell her. I used to rely on saying all girls from 18-21 are in party mode and Im not, which worked well. But now that Im getting older these girls are looking for serious relationships, and my mom knows this.

Honestly, your mom's got no business dictating your sex life. Tell her you don't want a girlfriend because you enjoy your freedom to do as you want. That's certainly no lie.

Even if you were straight, you're not somehow obligated to marry and start cranking out grandchildren. You're your own man, and ultimately, you only have to answer to yourself.

**101101** · 01-07-2006, 11:08 PM

Originally Posted by Mr. Independent

No I wouldn't embrace these feelings. If I discovered that I was a serial killer deep down and it felt good to kill people would I do it? No, because it is immoral. I am not gay so I dont want to tell you what to do but embracing it may have long term consequences. I definitely wouldn't act out on it. If you can do some praying and soul searching and think long and hard about your decision because its very important. I would try to go out with girls if I were you before giving up so fast. Maybe its just a phase who knows? If you need anyone to talk to I am here for you. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk.

-Eric

Did you just juxtapose murderers and homosexuals?

**..Vicious..** · 01-07-2006, 11:21 PM

cowboy athlete i dont even know you .. but get a life man .. freaken gay 44 year old .. you have to be kidding me?

**IceDragon** · 01-07-2006, 11:48 PM

What's wrong with that? Homosexuality is a part of who you are, just like heterosexuality - why should he be "kidding"?

tellmethetruth - "to thine own self be true", no truer words have ever been spoken. Live your life your way - if you feel you need to do this, then do it. Your family should love you for who you are, not for who you are attracted to sexually. Doesn't always work like that unfortunately, but there it is. You can't deny a part of who you are - you will be ostracised to an extent, face abuse, face prejudice, but people will do it regardless, whether you're skinny, fat, hetero or homosexual. Learn to be YOU - no-one else can do that except you.

Mr Independant, just because you're uptight and aren't homosexual, STFU. You cannot compare homosexuality with murder you moron - they're so dissimilar you can't even compare the two.

And if anyone mentions my second statement and then paedophilia in the same sentence, I'll e-slap you. You cannot compare paedophilia to sexually consenting adult partners.

**Toph** · 01-08-2006, 12:31 AM

Originally Posted by 101101

Did you just juxtapose murderers and homosexuals?

No he went further and claimed serial killing, thus inferring a psychotic angle to homosexuals

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