Do relationship oriented guys exist?

[silverwildcat]

I've been reading threads in this forum for a long time and decided to actually post in it now after a few life experiences. Basically the content of this thread is already explained by it's title so i'm not going to overload you with a long post. But so far from reading threads in this forum, from my experiences with social apps and also one real life experience. It seems like finding a genuine relationship is like finding a unicorn. Basically if i'm looking for hook ups i'll never have a problem. But i've never seen the point of such things and i really just want find someone to share life experiences with even if it doesn't end with an i do.

[profmiscer]

Yeah... there is tons of guys that are looking for a relationship you just probably over look them because you think they are not attractive enough. Maybe lower your standards on looks a bit and go for a guy with some personality, why don't girls get this??

[FriendOfFrank]

^^^^what he said

If you're trying to punch significantly above your weight, you're only going to find guys looking for hookups.

[Humanoidlaws]

Of course there are. I'm one of them.
I think looking for relationship orientated men through dating apps or whatever is the wrong route though.

[dusky99]

Average guys and below are relationship-oriented, but those guys are invisible to you anyway.

[DrLoveMisc]

I've been reading threads in this forum for a long time and decided to actually post in it now after a few life experiences. Basically the content of this thread is already explained by it's title so i'm not going to overload you with a long post. But so far from reading threads in this forum, from my experiences with social apps and also one real life experience. It seems like finding a genuine relationship is like finding a unicorn. Basically if i'm looking for hook ups i'll never have a problem. But i've never seen the point of such things and i really just want find someone to share life experiences with even if it doesn't end with an i do.

Most guys do, but they are too shy, too caring, too into texting, etc that turn women off. Then these women move to guys that behave like men but these ones like to play the field.

The "in between" those two (a guy good guy that gives the vibe of the *******) is most of an art than any other thing. Most cant master properly.

[silverwildcat]

Yeah... there is tons of guys that are looking for a relationship you just probably over look them because you think they are not attractive enough. Maybe lower your standards on looks a bit and go for a guy with some personality, why don't girls get this??

Yeah i have put that into consideration too. But wouldn't that put me and the guy in a non physical relationship where were sort of standoffish when it comes to the physical stuff. They say physical attraction is important for a reason. I met a guy who told me his first relationship he never so much as kissed the girl and decided it wasn't a relationship after she dumped him when she became more distant.

[silverwildcat]

Most guys do, but they are too shy, too caring, too into texting, etc that turn women off. Then these women move to guys that behave like men but these ones like to play the field.

The "in between" those two (a guy good guy that gives the vibe of the *******) is most of an art than any other thing. Most cant master properly.

I actually like if a guy does all the things you listed and actually looking for that type of guy. I hate games and i also like directness.

[silverwildcat]

Of course there are. I'm one of them.
I think looking for relationship orientated men through dating apps or whatever is the wrong route though.

i have thought that myself but i wasn't and i don't think i'll have any luck in real life so i thought why not try.

[Gewicht]

Average guys and below are relationship-oriented, but those guys are invisible to you anyway.

Uh no, a guy's looks don't determine whether he is looking for hook-ups or a relationship. There are just as many ugly guys out there who would happily pump & dump girls if they were able to, most of them just simply don't have that option since they're lacking the looks and/or confidence to pull it off. The only reason "average guys and below" seem to desire relationships is because they feel taking on the role of a nice guy/provider will give them better chances at getting with a girl.

To answer OP's question: finding a guy who actually values a relationship is like trying to find a girl who's actually ambitious & loyal which is hard to do. As the misc will tell you girls have a much easier time finding hook-ups but it comes with the trade-off that majority of guys will be looking for nothing more than that.

[BigPoppaPumpin]

That's the paradox of dating. Guys who want relationships are usually not relationship worthy. And guys who are relationship worthy have tons of women showing interest, and will usually cheat given the opportunity.

So girls have two options: either exclusively date a beta *******, or date an alpha while accepting that he has interested women around him and that he may cheat at any moment.

[FU3L]

That's the paradox of dating. Guys who want relationships are usually not relationship worthy. And guys who are relationship worthy have tons of women showing interest, and will usually cheat given the opportunity.

So girls have two options: either exclusively date a beta *******, or date an alpha while accepting that he has interested women around him and that he may cheat at any moment.

It's not that black and white. Every good looking guy isn't cheating on his gf on a daily basis

[silverwildcat]

That's the paradox of dating. Guys who want relationships are usually not relationship worthy. And guys who are relationship worthy have tons of women showing interest, and will usually cheat given the opportunity.

So girls have two options: either exclusively date a beta *******, or date an alpha while accepting that he has interested women around him and that he may cheat at any moment.

Yeah that gives me very little hope in actually finding a marriage partner someday. But for right now my biggest interest was atleast finding a committed relationship just for the present to get experience in dating and actually letting my more perverted side out it's extremely aggravating to constantly be called a prude, a tease, or boring. Because i refuse to do the really sexual stuff outside of a relationship.

[dusky99]

Yeah that gives me very little hope in actually finding a marriage partner someday. But for right now my biggest interest was atleast finding a committed relationship just for the present to get experience in dating and actually letting my more perverted side out it's extremely aggravating to constantly be called a prude, a tease, or boring. Because i refuse to do the really sexual stuff outside of a relationship.

So you want to trade sex for commitment?

[silverwildcat]

So you want to trade sex for commitment?

It sorta means that doesn't but not exactly. I value relationahips more because it's really rare and a wonderful thing to find someone you can connect with on that level. Guys get their highs from sex but i get it from emotional intimacy. The very first guy i got close to sleeping with i really liked him alot and because of my feelings i wanted to sleep with him as much as he qanted to sleep with me. But my feelings cane from the small moments we'd hang out together just getting to know each other, from cuddling, from hand holding. Whenever he was around i coukdn't but invade his space and kiss him alot all over. Interestingly enough we complete opposites he was looking for hook ups but he was still messing with me even though his pushing was making me out to be a tease. But i know he stuck around for almost a year because of our emotional intimate connection. I didn't even have to touch him sexually to get him in the mood i just had to kiss him. We never even kissed on the mouth since he had issues with kissing from a past relationship.

[BigPoppaPumpin]

It's not that black and white. Every good looking guy isn't cheating on his gf on a daily basis

Who said anything about on a daily basis?

It's cheating even if it happens just once.

...You're at a friend's wedding out of town; your girlfriend couldn't make it to the wedding and doesn't know the couple; you're drunk off the wine; the bride's cousin has been flirting with you all day; she asks you to dance; it's harmless at first but inevitably turns sexual. At the end of the night she invites you to her hotel room. You'll never see her again.

Find me a guy who wouldn't cheat in that situation and I'll call you a damn liar. 99% of guys will cheat if they had no chance of getting caught. And given that girls throw themselves at good looking guys constantly, some times the stars are so perfectly aligned that cheating is inevitable.

I mean you might feel like **** after, but that's not gonna stop you from following your manly urges.

[BigPoppaPumpin]

It sorta means that doesn't but not exactly. I value relationahips more because it's really rare and a wonderful thing to find someone you can connect with on that level. Guys get their highs from sex but i get it from emotional intimacy. The very first guy i got close to sleeping with i really liked him alot and because of my feelings i wanted to sleep with him as much as he qanted to sleep with me. But my feelings cane from the small moments we'd hang out together just getting to know each other, from cuddling, from hand holding. Whenever he was around i coukdn't but invade his space and kiss him alot all over. Interestingly enough we complete opposites he was looking for hook ups but he was still messing with me even though his pushing was making me out to be a tease. But i know he stuck around for almost a year because of our emotional intimate connection. I didn't even have to touch him sexually to get him in the mood i just had to kiss him. We never even kissed on the mouth since he had issues with kissing from a past relationship.

Sounds like you were the woman on the side

[silverwildcat]

Sounds like you were the woman on the side

Possibly but the thing is doesn't it make sense to have a side chick you actually ****? Also i told him i was cool with him seeing other girls because i wasn't ****ing him.

[BigPoppaPumpin]

Possibly but the thing is doesn't it make sense to have a side chick you actually ****? Also i told him i was cool with him seeing other girls because i wasn't ****ing him.

I mean you got close to sleeping with him. So he was hoping to break down your walls eventually.

[sdoo]

80/20 rule

Women want the top men, but the top men can get multiple women and won't settle down. Women don't want an average guy because she's been taught since she was an embryo that she deserves Prince Charming. If she is with an average guy, it is only a matter of time until she runs into a Chad and falls for him.

[silverwildcat]

I mean you got close to sleeping with him. So he was hoping to break down your walls eventually.

i knew that too I told him from day one i was looking for a relationship and he had already told me before we got involved with eachother more personally. That he didn't do relationships yet he decided to not believe what i said even though he knew i was a straightforward and direct girl and continue trying to push me to be with him sexually and ended up put us in thia back and forth roller coaster where we're on and off and we're not even together.

[silverwildcat]

80/20 rule

Women want the top men, but the top men can get multiple women and won't settle down. Women don't want an average guy because she's been taught since she was an embryo that she deserves Prince Charming. If she is with an average guy, it is only a matter of time until she runs into a Chad and falls for him.

I'm not looking for prince charming but i am looking for a baker i'm attracted to.

[Gewicht]

Yeah that gives me very little hope in actually finding a marriage partner someday. But for right now my biggest interest was atleast finding a committed relationship just for the present to get experience in dating and actually letting my more perverted side out it's extremely aggravating to constantly be called a prude, a tease, or boring. Because i refuse to do the really sexual stuff outside of a relationship.

Age: 19

we're a perfect match bby

[Shackss]

Who said anything about on a daily basis?

It's cheating even if it happens just once.

...You're at a friend's wedding out of town; your girlfriend couldn't make it to the wedding and doesn't know the couple; you're drunk off the wine; the bride's cousin has been flirting with you all day; she asks you to dance; it's harmless at first but inevitably turns sexual. At the end of the night she invites you to her hotel room. You'll never see her again.

Find me a guy who wouldn't cheat in that situation and I'll call you a damn liar. 99% of guys will cheat if they had no chance of getting caught. And given that girls throw themselves at good looking guys constantly, some times the stars are so perfectly aligned that cheating is inevitable.

I mean you might feel like **** after, but that's not gonna stop you from following your manly urges.

^So much this. Maybe a guy will not if he just met his girlfriend and values her, but if he's just a bit bored and a few months into a relationship, he'll do it. Same goes for women too.

[silverwildcat]

Age: 19

we're a perfect match bby

since you think we're a match based on that i know we're not XD

[hope27]

i knew that too I told him from day one i was looking for a relationship and he had already told me before we got involved with eachother more personally. That he didn't do relationships yet he decided to not believe what i said even though he knew i was a straightforward and direct girl and continue trying to push me to be with him sexually and ended up put us in thia back and forth roller coaster where we're on and off and we're not even together.

If you want a relationship, then why are you even allowing yourself to be on a roller coaster with someone who says he doesn't do relationships. It seems you got what you deserved. You can't change anybody, just like he couldn't change you. Why would you even be involved with someone who says no relationship if that is what you want.

You seem to have made some strange choices - and most of us have made mistakes - but being with a guy for a year who wouldn't kiss you?

I think you need to look for other then superficial qualities in men - such as honor, respect, trust, sense of loyalty, wanting what you want, sense of humor.

[silverwildcat]

If you want a relationship, then why are you even allowing yourself to be on a roller coaster with someone who says he doesn't do relationships. It seems you got what you deserved. You can't change anybody, just like he couldn't change you. Why would you even be involved with someone who says no relationship if that is what you want.

You seem to have made some strange choices - and most of us have made mistakes - but being with a guy for a year who wouldn't kiss you?

I think you need to look for other then superficial qualities in men - such as honor, respect, trust, sense of loyalty, wanting what you want, sense of humor.

Cause he told me he wanted to try being in relationships again. So we initally were trying to date casually but i think he got freaked out and started acting distant till i called him out and he starting saying he doesn't want a relationship. Because he initally said no relationships i friendzoned him and was on my guard. But after he said he'd try i let my guard down and caught feelings but i never caught stupid which is why i would never sleep with him outside of commitment no matter what he did whether it was going nc and coming back or sexual teasing.

[hope27]

Cause he told me he wanted to try being in relationships again. So we initally were trying to date casually but i think he got freaked out and started acting distant till i called him out and he starting saying he doesn't want a relationship. Because he initally said no relationships i friendzoned him and was on my guard. But after he said he'd try i let my guard down and caught feelings but i never caught stupid which is why i would never sleep with him outside of commitment no matter what he did whether it was going nc and coming back or sexual teasing.

My best advice to you is to still make better choices - "trying" a relationship. Someone either wants to be in one or they don't - trying is "trying" to have sex without a commitment - at least in my experience. I certainly wouldn't as I said earlier invest time on a roller coaster ride. Hold out for what you are looking for, but don't think you have the power to change another person's mind.

[silverwildcat]

My best advice to you is to still make better choices - "trying" a relationship. Someone either wants to be in one or they don't - trying is "trying" to have sex without a commitment - at least in my experience. I certainly wouldn't as I said earlier invest time on a roller coaster ride. Hold out for what you are looking for, but don't think you have the power to change another person's mind.

once again i repeat myself i did not expect him to be indecisive. Have you ever heard the phrase good for friendships not relationships. Well that's what he was when we weren't mixing non platonic relatioships into things he was fun to be around. But once we did he acted confused and back and forth stemming from something in his past relationship i assume. Since he'd close up like a vise if i asked about it.

[DrLoveMisc]

I actually like if a guy does all the things you listed and actually looking for that type of guy. I hate games and i also like directness.

You think you do but actually you dont. Women are programmed to look for male traits.

The thing is that women say to these guys:
"i deserve better"
"You are into me more than I am into you"
"You are needy"
"You are clingy"
"You are so into sex only"

Women cannot even explain why they are dumping these guys for real. For the most part they start making **** up on why they are dumping them.

However, there are bunch of women that settle with these nice guys but they get turn off later.