40 mistakes men have while having sex with women

[BigNorwegian]

40 mistakes men have while having sex with women


1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her
feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by
cutting out non essentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of
foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a
difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish
the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake
repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head
from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get
their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're
trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive.
They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your
tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy isn't.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and
thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on
the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and
West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've
ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So
start paying them some attention.

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled
fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her
to take the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along
side of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they
plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep
going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the
waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present,
not a kid's toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the
material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe
that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than
you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in
principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried
away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her
vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes
it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in
the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move
toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks fist.

18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do
is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an
assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with
clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the
pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few
seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of
her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the
mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At
least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her
interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you
really don't know, don't ask

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down
there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her
clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it
will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about
three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to
use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it.
When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's
necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie
there. And don't grab her head.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In
real life, it just means more laundry to do.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all
the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so
much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions.
If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk
is an excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to
show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey
on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy
props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian
gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner
with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have
a prostate. Women don't.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck,
if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty
scarves for weeks on end.

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big
turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If
she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she
might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too
heavily, she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup
kitchen.

[_Bladen_]

lol good list

[Azhure28]

OMG!! That is like the best list I have ever heard!

Men (and boys) PAY ATTENTION TO EVERY WORD ON THAT LIST!!!!!

Reps to you, my friend.

[loser99]

yeah this brings up a good question, do women really enjoy anal sex and anal stimulation? Some of my girl friends have said they have no idea why the hell guys keep trying to finger their ass and they thing its rediculous. Other girls I guess like anal sex (not sure about fingering).

[yoyohomieg5432]

thanks for this useful info.. whered you get it form though

[BigDreams21]

Not all truthful - alot of girls enjoy talking dirty but are too shy to admit it or initiate it, so you have to initiate it gently and see how she reacts. Other then that its a good/entertaining list.

#29? ROFL

[RU4A69]

........humbling............

[CG the Don]

This is a pretty good list. But 1 mistake some women make for me is when they don't do everything I tell them to, which results in me beating them until they do and threatening to kill them if they tell anyone.

[Vegeto]

#1 mistake women make when having sex with a man- Thinking that her phsycological sexual response isn't something that she can train, and that it is a man's responsibility to adjust to her underdeveloped mold. It is HER responsibility to maintain her sexual energy ballance so she is chemically/energetically reseptive, and it is HER responsibility to develope her sexual responsive psycology.

(although a couple of those on the list are reasonable)

[sammy21]

Originally Posted by BigNorwegian

40 mistakes men have while having sex with women

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions.
If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk
is an excuse.

hahah

[Leppy]

41) Saying "You like that don't ya bitch?", whilst slapping their tits around.

[sandman723]

42) LETTING HER TALK
tell her to stfu!!! her only job is to please u

[-calvus-]

This list was populated by a woman that reflects what "she" likes. While that may be a decent representation of what 35% of the woman population likes, it is a terrible set of rules to follow for every relationship. The best thing to do is ask. Talk about likes and dislikes. This may be a bit silly and even embarassing at times but really if your not comfortable enough to talk about the things you and your partner likes then you probably shouldnt be having sex with them.

[Lambshank]

Some good points there but alot of bull****. Some girls prefer and get off on some of the stuff that been listed there not to do.

[jon4127]

Originally Posted by RU4A69

........humbling............

Heh I was thinking the same thing. I am guilty of a few of them

[nail3r]

Originally Posted by sandman723

42) LETTING HER TALK
tell her to stfu!!! her only job is to please u

Unless she is talking nasty talk like

"im a dirty bitch"
"your cock is so big"

then the talk converts to our pleasure so its a double edched swrod

[sword chucks]

43) your penis being to big
you can get surgery for this... i migt consider it myself... don't want to cause any problems

[Killer Noob!]

Originally Posted by BigNorwegian

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get
their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're
trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive.
They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your
tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy isn't.

my last g/f told me to do both these things.

[FreshMintBlue]

simply awesome I have done or still do some mistakes listen here ... damn I need to learn this list.-

[nuttmeg]

Great Thread.....SO TRUE!!!!

[two choices]

yeah, but a lot of things on this list depend on the girl. my girl likes 3,4,5,18,35 (on her back), and 37. so there ya go, it's not fool-proof. entertaining list either way though.

[KrillBee]

seems to make pretty good sense

[alexwwe]

good stuff here

[Majik Ninja]

Originally Posted by CG the Don

This is a pretty good list. But 1 mistake some women make for me is when they don't do everything I tell them to, which results in me beating them until they do and threatening to kill them if they tell anyone.

you're ****in' retarded... thats why you're still a virgin.

[beansarelame]

Originally Posted by Killer Noob!

my last g/f told me to do both these things.

Yeah, exactly. My last g/f like me to nibble a bit and was into having me choke her and stuff. She was pretty freaky.

[disbeast57]

lol the last one whats wrong w/ that my g/f thanx me!

[Azhure28]

Originally Posted by beansarelame

Yeah, exactly. My last g/f like me to nibble a bit and was into having me choke her and stuff. She was pretty freaky.

Choking,spanking, biting isn't really freaky. I know tons of women that enjoy it, including myself.

The hard part is finding a man that can choke, wrap his fist in my hair and spank me all at the same time Haven't found one yet that can pull it off. The last boytoy thought that spanking was degrading to women. Yeah. Whatever. I could never train him to do it right.

[DLStar64]

"Keep on trying until you get it right, and she
might even do the same for you."

This was written by a female.

[Imbrication]

Originally Posted by DLStar64

"Keep on trying until you get it right, and she
might even do the same for you."

This was written by a female.

Well it is about women so I think that's pretty logical.


Of course a lot of women will like things that are on this don't list. I think it's more of a general guide, like men, not all women like the same exact thing in bed. We're funny like that.

[1/2man1/2amazin]

good stuff