Out of control?

[m3ds]

Does anyone else here feel out of control? It's like I know I'm screwing myself down the road, I just don't care. I got to get big, and that has taken over everything else in my life. I know I shouldn't be taking Ergo Max, but I have to get big. I know I should lower my dose to 10mg from 20mg, but I have to get big. I know I should only do 3 weeks instead of 4, but I have to get big. And not just that, but I've gained 13 pounds on the cycle and it's only been two weeks, but it's never enough! Does anyone else feel this way?

[jtmOBX]

Originally Posted by sam32465

Does anyone else here feel out of control? It's like I know I'm screwing myself down the road, I just don't care. I got to get big, and that has taken over everything else in my life. I know I shouldn't be taking Ergo Max, but I have to get big. I know I should lower my dose to 10mg from 20mg, but I have to get big. I know I should only do 3 weeks instead of 4, but I have to get big. And not just that, but I've gained 13 pounds on the cycle and it's only been two weeks, but it's never enough! Does anyone else feel this way?

Its easy to feel that way but its not the most mature way to look at things. You got to learn to think past today or next week man.

[m3ds]

Originally Posted by jtmOBX

Its easy to feel that way but its not the most mature way to look at things. You got to learn to think past today or next week man.

I completely agree bro but the thing is, I don't care about anything but getting big. I know it's immature and I realize it's a problem... but what can I do about it...

[BillyB]

Originally Posted by sam32465

Does anyone else here feel out of control? It's like I know I'm screwing myself down the road, I just don't care. I got to get big, and that has taken over everything else in my life. I know I shouldn't be taking Ergo Max, but I have to get big. I know I should lower my dose to 10mg from 20mg, but I have to get big. I know I should only do 3 weeks instead of 4, but I have to get big. And not just that, but I've gained 13 pounds on the cycle and it's only been two weeks, but it's never enough! Does anyone else feel this way?

Nope, if someone does not have the discipline and self control, one is not ready to run steroid cycles. 19? Wait till you’re in your mid 20's and wonder why you have the test levels of a 35 year old. A teen’s endocrine system is not rhat forgiving.

[jtmOBX]

Originally Posted by sam32465

I completely agree bro but the thing is, I don't care about anything but getting big. I know it's immature and I realize it's a problem... but what can I do about it...

I dunno, not to sound like an ass but its likely mostly a maturity issue.

Could help to think about screwing up your health, possibly lossing the ability to forward your name, ot think about your family.

[m3ds]

Originally Posted by BillyB

Nope, if someone does not have the discipline and self control, one is not ready to run steroid cycles. 19? Wait till you’re in your mid 20's and wonder why you have the test levels of a 35 year old. A teen’s endocrine system is not rhat forgiving.

But see that is my point. I don't care about down the road. Please don'e flame me because it really doesn't help I'm trying to get a balanced view here and I can't for the life of me figure out how... I want nothing more than to be big and I completely understand it's immature.

[m3ds]

Originally Posted by jtmOBX

I dunno, not to sound like an ass but its likely mostly a maturity issue.

Could help to think about screwing up your health, possibly lossing the ability to forward your name, ot think about your family.

But I have no desire to have kids... I'll force myself to tone it down, maybe instead of dropping the cycle (which would be stupid because I'm so far into it) I'll drop down to 10mg for the last week instead of 30. Thanks for helping me bro... small steps

[BillyB]

Originally Posted by sam32465

But see that is my point. I don't care about down the road. Please don'e flame me because it really doesn't help I'm trying to get a balanced view here and I can't for the life of me figure out how... I want nothing more than to be big and I completely understand it's immature.

You do realize that low test levels is your mid 20’s will make it almost impossible to achieve your maximum potential?

[jmil]

Originally Posted by BillyB

Nope, if someone does not have the discipline and self control, one is not ready to run steroid cycles. 19? Wait till your in your mid 20's and wonder why you have the test levels of a 35 year old.

Yea, man...you will get big eventually, you're only 19 man...I didn't even get into it big time until about 8 months ago, at 23 years old. The gentleman who owns the gym I go to was the first person in NH to deadlift 700, he didn't start lifting until he was 24. Listen, you have a head start on a lot of people...and even so, you're not competing against anyone. Everything you do in the gym should be to better yourself, so why do you have to get so big, so quick...is it really worth your health in the long run. I'll tell you how to stop it, self discipline. You don't "HAVE TO" take ergo, and you don't "HAVE TO" do anything. You know you shouldn't, and that's it...but just saying you know doesn't mean anything if you don't follow through with what you know you should do.

[laz]

Originally Posted by sam32465

Does anyone else here feel out of control? It's like I know I'm screwing myself down the road, I just don't care. I got to get big, and that has taken over everything else in my life. I know I shouldn't be taking Ergo Max, but I have to get big. I know I should lower my dose to 10mg from 20mg, but I have to get big. I know I should only do 3 weeks instead of 4, but I have to get big. And not just that, but I've gained 13 pounds on the cycle and it's only been two weeks, but it's never enough! Does anyone else feel this way?

Yeah i felt the same way at the age of 15! Dont do it. You will regret it in the long run.

[m3ds]

Thanks for the help guys, and not flaming the **** out of me. I'll taper my dose down next week and go into PCT and instead of running cycle after cycle I'll wait a few years until my next cycle. Thanks again

[jtmOBX]

Originally Posted by sam32465

Thanks for the help guys, and not flaming the **** out of me. I'll taper my dose down next week and go into PCT and instead of running cycle after cycle I'll wait a few years until my next cycle. Thanks again

Youre much better off. Good choice.

Get your blood work done after PCT.

[BillyB]

Smart move, I do not think any of us flamed you because we know where you are coming from. Trust me, I was tempted as hell for many years but I held off untill my early 20's.

[jmil]

Very good choice Sam, goodluck.

[The Booger]

Originally Posted by BillyB

Nope, if someone does not have the discipline and self control, one is not ready to run steroid cycles. 19? Wait till you’re in your mid 20's and wonder why you have the test levels of a 35 year old. A teen’s endocrine system is not rhat forgiving.

I agree.

At least you realized your mistake and you are going to correct it. Step in the right direction

[Mr. Aries]

there are too many wonderful things life has to offer besides "size" and "strength"...

Being consumed by these things at the expense of all the other gifts we receive from the man upstairs is a terrible loss that cannot be accurately perceived until we lay on our deathbeds..

So many beautiful things in the world, so many admirable goals.. What's the point of being big and strong, if that's all we can ever be?

[BillyB]

Originally Posted by Mr. Aries

there are too many wonderful things life has to offer besides "size" and "strength"...

Being consumed by these things at the expense of all the other gifts we receive from the man upstairs is a terrible loss that cannot be accurately perceived until we lay on our deathbeds..

So many beautiful things in the world, so many admirable goals.. What's the point of being big and strong, if that's all we can ever be?

Now I have to say, That was well said!

O damnit,
vBulletin Message
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Mr. Aries again.

[R_N_S]

that's pathetic, what to you want to get big for? so you can look cool? or feel better about yourself?

you're the billboard Henry Rollins speaks of in my sig, and in "The Iron", congratulations

[m3ds]

Originally Posted by rippednshredded

that's pathetic, what to you want to get big for? so you can look cool? or feel better about yourself?

you're the billboard Henry Rollins speaks of in my sig, and in "The Iron", congratulations

And you are a pathetic excuse for a person. Do you not see that I saw the flaw in my way of thinking and am taking steps to correct it? Go flame somewhere else, because you're beating a dead horse

[R_N_S]

sorry, didn't see you were stopping


but i can remember you saying you were going to do this cycle a month or two ago, and me as well as many other members told you then it was a bad idea. What's so different now? It's unfortunate that it takes a few members from an online forum to convince you not to do this.

[Cloud Strife]

Originally Posted by rippednshredded

sorry, didn't see you were stopping


but i can remember you saying you were going to do this cycle a month or two ago, and me as well as many other members told you then it was a bad idea. What's so different now? It's unfortunate that it takes a few members from an online forum to convince you not to do this.

at least it got done though - he needed help and we were here to support him

[KellysGymCarver]

It's not going to be easy for him, but if he comes back to these postings, hopefully he can be reminded about the pitfalls. I had the same problem with AAS back in the day, and I shave my head bald all of the time now because I screwed up my hair growth staying on a cycle for way too long, and ignoring the recommended dosages. Good luck SAM32465, and if you need help, come back and ask. As you can tell from most of the replies you received, there are some very knowledgeable and helpfull people on this site.......

[Metalcarnage]

Natural human tendency to want to take the easiest route, not really a so called "problem" but in this case something to pay attention too

[JRRBadBoy4Life]

Originally Posted by Mr. Aries

there are too many wonderful things life has to offer besides "size" and "strength"...

Being consumed by these things at the expense of all the other gifts we receive from the man upstairs is a terrible loss that cannot be accurately perceived until we lay on our deathbeds..

So many beautiful things in the world, so many admirable goals.. What's the point of being big and strong, if that's all we can ever be?

I see your point, and well said. But arent we all consumed by this to some extent? I have been bodybuilding now for 12 years, 100% natural, and Im not trying to be the biggest mofo out there, but I still have sacrificed soooo much just so I can continue bodybuilding. I used to Golf, Hunt, Fish, Spend more time with friends. As time went on, I realized that my whole life evolves around bodybuilding. If I went to the doctor today and he told me I had to give up bodybuilding or I would die, then I guess I would just die. We all have have sacrificed a lot to achieve our own personal goals. Are we selfish? Yes, I believe we are, but if bodybuilding is what keeps us happy then why should it not be our biggest priority.

[KellysGymCarver]

It's all basically an individual's choice to decide what floats their boat. Some have chosen to wait tables and live homeless as an end to a means for their goal of being discovered in LA or New York. There are many examples including the reckless and uncalled for abuse of one's body through the use of hormone manipulation. Though sometimes our decisions are not prudent to others, it is ultimately our decision,and we must be prepared to suffer the consequences and place blame on only ourselves should something run amiss.
Wow, what a bunch of bull crap that was! Ha ha ha

[m3ds]

Originally Posted by rippednshredded

sorry, didn't see you were stopping


but i can remember you saying you were going to do this cycle a month or two ago, and me as well as many other members told you then it was a bad idea. What's so different now? It's unfortunate that it takes a few members from an online forum to convince you not to do this.

Sorry I kind of snapped on you bro. Yeah I did post that I was going to do the cycle a few months ago, but this is kind of one of those things you have to learn for yourself and learn the hard way. I'm stubborn in that aspect. Everyone told me not to drive fast, did I listen? No. What made me change how I drive? Bad car accident where I was hospitalized, paralyzed, etc...

Basically, some things you just have to learn yourself. I'm not so much regretting the cycle as I am regretting my mindset. Even if my body is fine to do cycles, my mind is not because I'm willing to sacrifice everything for my goals in bodybuilding.

Thanks a lot for the advice and help guys, this will be my last cycle for quite some time (hopefully it didn't jack me up too bad)

[391rippy]

Originally Posted by sam32465

Does anyone else here feel out of control? It's like I know I'm screwing myself down the road, I just don't care. I got to get big, and that has taken over everything else in my life. I know I shouldn't be taking Ergo Max, but I have to get big. I know I should lower my dose to 10mg from 20mg, but I have to get big. I know I should only do 3 weeks instead of 4, but I have to get big. And not just that, but I've gained 13 pounds on the cycle and it's only been two weeks, but it's never enough! Does anyone else feel this way?

i used to feel the same way. i wanted to be big NOW! i was putting in all the time and effort, doing everything right, but i wasn't huge. the thing that helped me the most was to set a long-term goal instead of a short-term goal. instead of wanting to be 4 pounds heavier at the end of the month, i decided i wanted to be 70 by the end of next year. doing this has given me more patience, and has helped me to see the big picture. also, it has helped me to see the improvement i have made, instead of only see the improvement that i need to make.

[m3ds]

Originally Posted by 391rippy

i used to feel the same way. i wanted to be big NOW! i was putting in all the time and effort, doing everything right, but i wasn't huge. the thing that helped me the most was to set a long-term goal instead of a short-term goal. instead of wanting to be 4 pounds heavier at the end of the month, i decided i wanted to be 70 by the end of next year. doing this has given me more patience, and has helped me to see the big picture. also, it has helped me to see the improvement i have made, instead of only see the improvement that i need to make.

The only thing there is steroids have skewed my view on reality, 4 pounds doesn't seem like that much because in the past 2.5 weeks I've gained 15 lol

[391rippy]

Originally Posted by sam32465

The only thing there is steroids have skewed my view on reality, 4 pounds doesn't seem like that much because in the past 2.5 weeks I've gained 15 lol

my point is that if you will forget about short-term goals and focus on long-term goals, you'll be more content with natural gains, won't be going crazy, and won't **** yourself up in the long-run

also, if you can change your mindset from 'i HAVE to get big' to 'it is my goal to get big' you'll have more control

[nni]

looks to me like you have a lot of growing up to do. that's the nicest way i can put it.