How to motivate your other half.

[LimeyRunner]

I would like some help on motivating or not motivating my other half to push herself. I have always been a runner and have always had a partner who wants to workout and push themselves. Now I have come to a point where, running isn't enough so I decided to get up at the crack of dawn and challenge myself. So far I am getting into a good rythmn. My better half teaches fitness classes but doesn't adhere to the best dietary guidelines. She has the cutest figure but it could be so amazing if she applied herself. So I have come to the point of not saying anything and letting her follow my lead if she so wishes.

Is there really anything else I can do?

Thanks
Simon

[Crazymix]

Originally Posted by LimeyRunner

I would like some help on motivating or not motivating my other half to push herself. I have always been a runner and have always had a partner who wants to workout and push themselves. Now I have come to a point where, running isn't enough so I decided to get up at the crack of dawn and challenge myself. So far I am getting into a good rythmn. My better half teaches fitness classes but doesn't adhere to the best dietary guidelines. She has the cutest figure but it could be so amazing if she applied herself. So I have come to the point of not saying anything and letting her follow my lead if she so wishes.

Is there really anything else I can do?

Thanks
Simon

Why don't you discuss your feelings towards this issue with her?

[LimeyRunner]

I have tried but I don't think she really wants to; she doesn't have the mental stamina at the end of the day to hold off all those carb cravings and having something else. So if I try and 'guide' her it doesn't matter what I say. Of course I love her to bits but any indication that I am not happy with who she is could cause friction.

My motivation is for me alone she didn't push me or support me that much.

Less might be more in this situation. i think maybe through my results it might motivate her. What do you think?

S

[Channel1]

Wife=Zero

I have bought her mags, equipment. Forgetaboudit!

[mtxpert]

Nobody can turn on the light switch for their significant other, that switch must be turned on by themselves. Even if you "force" them for awhile they will stop and make excuses eventually to stop. My wife is on the slower path than mine and I'm fine with that, she's put up with my BS for 19 years I can put up with a few lbs for awhile, I'm just glad she's fixed her stage 2 diabetes and high blood pressure!!!

[LimeyRunner]

I will get some magazines then; leave them lying around

She already started showing interest in my supplement when she found out how good it tasted; maybe I should get some fat burners too.

[LimeyRunner]

Originally Posted by mtxpert

Nobody can turn on the light switch for their significant other, that switch must be turned on by themselves. Even if you "force" them for awhile they will stop and make excuses eventually to stop. My wife is on the slower path than mine and I'm fine with that, she's put up with my BS for 19 years I can put up with a few lbs for awhile, I'm just glad she's fixed her stage 2 diabetes and high blood pressure!!!

So did she follow your lead?

[Crazymix]

Originally Posted by LimeyRunner

I have tried but I don't think she really wants to; she doesn't have the mental stamina at the end of the day to hold off all those carb cravings and having something else. So if I try and 'guide' her it doesn't matter what I say. Of course I love her to bits but any indication that I am not happy with who she is could cause friction.

My motivation is for me alone she didn't push me or support me that much.

Less might be more in this situation. i think maybe through my results it might motivate her. What do you think?

S

Was she this way when you meet her? You know I?m younger than you guys but I know you meet her the way she is and molding her into your creation seems like a fantasy.IMO

[LimeyRunner]

Originally Posted by Crazymix

Was she this way when you meet her? You know I?m younger than you guys but I know you meet her the way she is and molding her into your creation seems like a fantasy.IMO

She has always been fitness minded, but as time gets the better of us. I think its important to up your game. I have been trying to eat better, which really wasnt that much of a problem but I know as I get older things will start to need more oil.

My concern is that in order to keep your body in good shape doing little things now will help. In 10 years when its way out of hand, well boy is it going to be tough.

S

[Crazymix]

Originally Posted by LimeyRunner

She has always been fitness minded, but as time gets the better of us. I think its important to up your game. I have been trying to eat better, which really wasnt that much of a problem but I know as I get older things will start to need more oil.

My concern is that in order to keep your body in good shape doing little things now will help. In 10 years when its way out of hand, well boy is it going to be tough.

S

Well I see your point... maybe you have to make it worth her while, something EXCITING (rock climbing, run on the beach, Etc.) why don't you try cooking dinner, that way she HAS to eat what you cooked.

If she has a sweet tooth, look up delicious recipes ( with low carbs/cals packed with protein) online and see how that goes.

[LimeyRunner]

Originally Posted by Crazymix

Well I see your point... maybe you have to make it worth her while, something EXCITING (rock climbing, run on the beach, Etc.) why don't you try cooking dinner, that way she HAS to eat what you cooked.

If she has a sweet tooth, look up delicious recipes ( with low carbs/cals packed with protein) online and see how that goes.

I like the cooking idea, I love cooking and if I can get some different recipes the better.

thanks for your suggestions

S

[Crazymix]

Originally Posted by LimeyRunner

I like the cooking idea, I love cooking and if I can get some different recipes the better.

thanks for your suggestions

S

yup sure.. let me know how it worked out and when you get the recipes pass them my way

[darkangel]

Originally Posted by LimeyRunner

I have tried but I don't think she really wants to; she doesn't have the mental stamina at the end of the day to hold off all those carb cravings and having something else. So if I try and 'guide' her it doesn't matter what I say. Of course I love her to bits but any indication that I am not happy with who she is could cause friction.

Sounds like you answered your own question. There's only so much you can do. People can be encouraged, led by example, etc. but ultimately they have to make their own choices and be self-motivated.

It sounds like your issue isn't so much getting her to work out as it's getting her to eat clean. Keeping healthy snack alternatives around and discouraging either of you guys buying alot of junk food might help. If it's not in the house, you can't eat it.

[nicoledominique]

She's probably happy with the way she looks...It sounds like you want to turn her into a fitness model...ensuring that she will continue to be "hot" as she gets older...

[Eileen]

My other half just got motivated when my daughter looked at the two of us and said "Wow, Mom's so skinny and Dad's so fat." Suddenly, he has ditched the white bread and is out walking every day.

[TurbulentFluid]

Originally Posted by Crazymix

Well I see your point... maybe you have to make it worth her while, something EXCITING (rock climbing, run on the beach, Etc.) why don't you try cooking dinner, that way she HAS to eat what you cooked.

If she has a sweet tooth, look up delicious recipes ( with low carbs/cals packed with protein) online and see how that goes.

Great advice. Since you say her problem is mainly in the diet, maybe the one you suggested wasn't all that good? Lacking in the sense of p/f/c ratios, etc, so it caused binges and maybe just overall BORING...? Many people think healthy foods are necessarily boring and tasteless, but if you do it right - nothing could be farther from the truth! Maybe check The Zone cook book, as it allows for EVERY food types (including desserts), as long as you stick to macros/daily protein intake and WORKS.

[LimeyRunner]

Originally Posted by nicoledominique

She's probably happy with the way she looks...It sounds like you want to turn her into a fitness model...ensuring that she will continue to be "hot" as she gets older...

Yes you are right. She is a beautiful woman but I think she is not very aggressive when it comes to her diet. Her workouts are good but I think what it comes down to is she has so much potential she isnt maximising each workout even with a shake afterwards. I think its just the little things, and the fact that she is afraid she will 'bulk up'. I mean noone really goes out and says I want to get weaker and less capable today. It is a thing we all fight if we don't workout so I guess I am over analysing the situation.

Time will tell.

S

[LimeyRunner]

Originally Posted by Eileen

My other half just got motivated when my daughter looked at the two of us and said "Wow, Mom's so skinny and Dad's so fat." Suddenly, he has ditched the white bread and is out walking every day.

I love that, it takes the honesty of a child to kick you into gear. What ever it takes right.

Thanks

[LimeyRunner]

Originally Posted by darkangel

Sounds like you answered your own question. There's only so much you can do. People can be encouraged, led by example, etc. but ultimately they have to make their own choices and be self-motivated.

It sounds like your issue isn't so much getting her to work out as it's getting her to eat clean. Keeping healthy snack alternatives around and discouraging either of you guys buying alot of junk food might help. If it's not in the house, you can't eat it.

We do eat really well, but her weakness is at the end of th eday she just wants carbs, carbs, carbs..... why not protein. Carbs give you the energy to sleep?

I am way too focused right now, I hope I can pull off some results otherwise I will look like the carb munching chow hound :| talk about hipocracy.

[darkangel]

Originally Posted by LimeyRunner

We do eat really well, but her weakness is at the end of th eday she just wants carbs, carbs, carbs..... why not protein. Carbs give you the energy to sleep?

Simple carbs and sugar can be addictive, particularly for people who are sensitive to them. And it's often worse for women because of hormonal issues which can cause serious cravings. Food reactions and sensitivites also cause us to crave the very things that are causing problems. Dairy, sugar and wheat are common offenders.

But right now, it sounds like you're the only one who's dissatisfied with her workouts/diet/fitness regimen. Until SHE'S dissatisfied with herself, nothing's going to change. Maybe instead of focusing on what she's not doing you should try appreciating the things she IS doing... eating relatively well, working out, teaching classes. There are alot of folks who can't even get their signficant other to do that much. There comes a point where you have to appreciate the good things and accept the other possibilities won't happen unless the person wants them.

[Crazymix]

Originally Posted by Eileen

My other half just got motivated when my daughter looked at the two of us and said "Wow, Mom's so skinny and Dad's so fat." Suddenly, he has ditched the white bread and is out walking every day.

lol....

[purpleklipse]

I love you Simon! Simon is actually a REALLY REALLY great guy. I knew him single and I know him in his relationship now. (not from this site.....)

Simon really is coming from a "good" place.. not an @-hole type of thing...

I know you are not selfish or trying to make her into what you want. And she IS fitness-minded already.

Perhaps you could help her find articles that would help her class??? I did that for a while for my students.. and it shows that you care and are helping her help her students. And helps remind her that she is an example of fitness to new and repeat students... feed that image of herself!

But, overall, you know my situation... when the boyfriend pushed it actually pushed me AWAY from fitness even though I love it too. Something about someone "telling ya what to do"...

So if you do the meals and whatnot you have to do it by not thinking about results in the back or front of your mind. Do it b/c you want to.

And buy Men's Health - that mag is extremely interesting to me and was what I got hooked on.

Why don't you go into her fitness class? She'll work harder too.

Anyway I read your email today and sounds like she is getting hooked on your products so that tact worked.

:-) Keep up the awesome work!

[koreanizm]

Originally Posted by Eileen

My other half just got motivated when my daughter looked at the two of us and said "Wow, Mom's so skinny and Dad's so fat." Suddenly, he has ditched the white bread and is out walking every day.

Ouch. That is definitely motivating =)

[prosperity]

Originally Posted by purpleklipse

Simon really is coming from a "good" place.. not an @-hole type of thing...

But, overall, you know my situation... when the boyfriend pushed it actually pushed me AWAY from fitness even though I love it too. Something about someone "telling ya what to do"...

I have to agree, whilst it doesn't sound like you're coming from a bad place, even the best of intentions can be taken the wrong way. I am very into fitness, but when I was with one particular boyfriend, he approached me about stepping it up. To be honest, I was already feeling bad about my body, and instead of encouraging me, it pushed me away from both him and the idea of fitness altogether.

Women can be very tricky about these things... sometimes we look hot but feel like crap. Sometimes we may be carrying more weight, but feel super good about ourselves. And compliments, suggestions, encouragement... anything that makes a comment on the way we look may be taken in a positive way, or it may make things a whole lot worse.

It's odd, but every time my family says "You look skinny", it makes me feel like rubbish and I just want to eat everything in sight. And yet I know that they mean it as a compliment.

So my advice is to say nothing, and just lead by example. If she's already fitness minded, and sees your awesome results, then she'll eventually approach you about it.

[daltrey]

Honestly, Getting up and the crack of dawn and pushing yourself just isn't good enough. I would like you to start competing this year. It's going to be a major commitment for you also. Start with a personal trainer and your going to have to commit to the gym at least 2 hours a day. You think your diets good now, well its not good enough to be competing or to put you at the top of your class. There's no sense in you doing any of this if your not going to commit 100 percent and you really have to have the motivation and drive to win or else why bother?

Or you can just be happy with the way things are now. Your lucky enough to have a wife that's at least a fitness instructor and probably in better shape and healthier than 90 percent of our obese and lazy country.

[twinnett]

I'd be thrilled if my husband did ANYTHING fitness related!! He doesn't even know the difference between a carb and a protein!! lol

I say just lead by example and love her for who she is...cooking for her is a great idea!!! Maybe you could make a lower carb night snack for the both of you? Low carb cheesecake, etc...there are tons of good recipes!

[pirouette]

Originally Posted by LimeyRunner

I have tried but I don't think she really wants to; she doesn't have the mental stamina at the end of the day to hold off all those carb cravings and having something else. So if I try and 'guide' her it doesn't matter what I say. Of course I love her to bits but any indication that I am not happy with who she is could cause friction.

My motivation is for me alone she didn't push me or support me that much.

Less might be more in this situation. i think maybe through my results it might motivate her. What do you think?

S

You know her best. Advice or what one would consider motivation would come off as nagging....which most people would turn a deaf ear to. Keep being a good example to follow and she may (or may not) follow suit. if it's not important to her then just be happy that she's happy and still pretty fit.

[beaul]

I am in the same type of situation. But as a person who has done this for awhile i realize the motivation has to come from within the person doing the work. You cant force someone or sometimes you can't even suggest it. It can backfire quickly.

I stopped helping my GF when it seemed like i was forcing her. I just stay the corse and my body will speak for itself. If she wants to jump on all the way she can. If not then I still love her. Now, if she puts on 10 lbs in the next 2 years??? I don't know if i will be able to keep my mouth shut.

She eats **** and doesnt eat enough at the same time. and doesn't workout. At some point its going to bite her in the ass.

I just keep my mouth shut and tell her how much i love her and love being with her.

[cookies2373]

If you find out how to motivate, please let me know. My wife works out with me, but I also see so much potential. I can tell she really doesn't want to be in the gym working out. It just takes a little extra effort in the gym and a little reading to study the best meal plan for yourself, but you have to apply yourself. And you have to WANT to. I wish I knew the right way to make someone self-motivated in the that area. I will be watching this post though and hopefully the answer will pop up or some of the women on here can post what would help motivate them.

[LimeyRunner]

Originally Posted by purpleklipse

Simon really is coming from a "good" place.. not an @-hole type of thing...

I know you are not selfish or trying to make her into what you want. And she IS fitness-minded already.

Perhaps you could help her find articles that would help her class??? I did that for a while for my students.. and it shows that you care and are helping her help her students. And helps remind her that she is an example of fitness to new and repeat students... feed that image of herself!

But, overall, you know my situation... when the boyfriend pushed it actually pushed me AWAY from fitness even though I love it too. Something about someone "telling ya what to do"...

So if you do the meals and whatnot you have to do it by not thinking about results in the back or front of your mind. Do it b/c you want to.

And buy Men's Health - that mag is extremely interesting to me and was what I got hooked on.

Why don't you go into her fitness class? She'll work harder too.

Anyway I read your email today and sounds like she is getting hooked on your products so that tact worked.

:-) Keep up the awesome work!

I am with you Nicole, the harder she pushes me the harder I dig my heels in. As for her classes I already help her think of cruel ways to make teh 'contestants' work harder. Unfortunately I have to work during her classes, which is probably a good thing ; I would hate for her to see me breakdown in the middle of a class.

Things are getting better. I think its just a matter of time before the intensity kicks in. She is awesome.

I need to be a little more creative when it comes to desserts..

Does anyone know any good recipe websites, especially for desserts?

Thanks
Simon