Advice on how to bring up to my wife I know she is cheating (Serious)

[armyman8181]

I finally got all the evidence I wanted to get like her cell phone bills of #'s she is calling, printout of hockey tickets she bought and said got for free from work, and now a pic on my cell of her truck at the guy's apt. Can anyone give me some advice on how to bring it up and tell her I know. I am a very introverted person and non-confrontational. Good advice and serious replies will get rep'd.

P.S. She is very stubborn and will turn it around on me for having been checking on her since shortly after Thanksgiving...

[dog20]

[proteinpump]

Show her the evidence you gathered and when she starts blaming you/ putting a guilt trip on you, you know she is guilty. Throw her ass out the door.

[alex1986]

bust into their apartment while they're together and make a big scene

[xduelx]

wow, another cheating military spouse! just be straight up and dont take her ****.

[brianphi]

BEFORE YOU TELL HER:::

seek legal advice. Get control of all assets you can. Plan your escape before she has a chance to cripple it. If I were in the situation I'd start liquidating everything with as little paper trail as possible. Don't rush to bust her.. take your time and make sure you come out of this in the best possible way.

[stacked2]

I would ask her some questions to see if she will come clean with the truth. I she chooses not to, you can whip out your evidence and she will get own'd. I don't know if she is psycho or anything because this could get real ugly. Good luck. Don't let her turn it around on you. Be strong. Be confident. Hope this helps

[angelfire2005]

let the divorce papers do the talking for you

[armyman8181]

BEFORE YOU TELL HER:::

seek legal advice. Get control of all assets you can. Plan your escape before she has a chance to cripple it. If I were in the situation I'd start liquidating everything with as little paper trail as possible. Don't rush to bust her.. take your time and make sure you come out of this in the best possible way.

Everything is in her name all I have is Clothes, dresser, ps2 and games, dvd's, and a tv that I payed for out of my military money. My military money goes into my own account and her name is not on that what so ever. Seeing I am in the reserves.

[max lift]

BEFORE YOU TELL HER:::

seek legal advice. Get control of all assets you can. Plan your escape before she has a chance to cripple it. If I were in the situation I'd start liquidating everything with as little paper trail as possible. Don't rush to bust her.. take your time and make sure you come out of this in the best possible way.

Right on the money get you sh*it in order first ,

[armyman8181]

I would ask her some questions to see if she will come clean with the truth. I she chooses not to, you can whip out your evidence and she will get own'd. I don't know if she is psycho or anything because this could get real ugly. Good luck. Don't let her turn it around on you. Be strong. Be confident. Hope this helps

It will get ugly and that is the type of person she is. She will get pissed and then start yelling. In the 6 years (3 years married) we have never had a fight or arguement.

[user23960508710783]

BEFORE YOU TELL HER:::

seek legal advice. Get control of all assets you can. Plan your escape before she has a chance to cripple it. If I were in the situation I'd start liquidating everything with as little paper trail as possible. Don't rush to bust her.. take your time and make sure you come out of this in the best possible way.

I was thinking the same thing.

Even though she cheated, she will get the house, the car, anything valuable you two own, and a check from you in the mail every month for the next 10 years.

I would cash out as much money as possible, and go to a casino/off-track betting, whatever, with a friend. Claim you got drunk and blew all the money on bad bets, but just hold onto it. Open a safe deposit box or something.

Also, if you have any prized possessions, like a really nice tv, antiques, whatever, store them at a family members place.

Get all of this done, and then just leave. She'll figure it out.

[M4A1 Widowmaker]

Everything is in her name all I have is Clothes, dresser, ps2 and games, dvd's, and a tv that I payed for out of my military money. My military money goes into my own account and her name is not on that what so ever. Seeing I am in the reserves.

Still seek legal help. Rather be safe than sorry, right?

[brianphi]

^^ what Jean-Paul said, with the addition of take some of her sh*t, sell it, give it to other women.. (yes stone-cold m-f'er)

[armyman8181]

I was thinking the same thing.

Even though she cheated, she will get the house, the car, anything valuable you two own, and a check from you in the mail every month for the next 10 years.

I would cash out as much money as possible, and go to a casino/off-track betting, whatever, with a friend. Claim you got drunk and blew all the money on bad bets, but just hold onto it. Open a safe deposit box or something.

Also, if you have any prized possessions, like a really nice tv, antiques, whatever, store them at a family members place.

Get all of this done, and then just leave. She'll figure it out.

It should go easily for the divorce I think we don't own a house we rent, no kids, and all vehicels are in her name seeing I have bad credit. So I really have nothing to lose I think.

[dills2214]

If that's the case and you have nothing to lose... I would just not say anything. Find a new apartment, move your **** some day she is at work. I can't think of a more non-confrontational way to say F^$@ you, you mean nothing to me now.

No matter how you handle it... sorry to hear about all this. Hope all goes well.

[Violator009]

So what is she doing, you catch her making sexytime plans with another guy or is it just a number shes calling but you dont know what theyre talking about? At least make sure you have solid proof before accusing..

[user23960508710783]

It should go easily for the divorce I think we don't own a house we rent, no kids, and all vehicels are in her name seeing I have bad credit. So I really have nothing to lose I think.

Dude, you need to be careful. Even if she has everything and makes more than you, you can still be on the hook to her financially.

I knew a guy whose ex-wife tried to write it into their divorce settlement that he would have to come over to the house to do yard work once a week. Seriously. Yard work for the house he bought, that he writes checks to her to maintain, etc. etc.

The biggest mistake you made in your life up until now was getting married. Going through a divorce without protecting yourself would easily outdo that.

[armyman8181]

Also forgot to mention that we have custudy of my wifes niece and I take her to and pick her up from school everyday she is a special needs kid. Do I tell the wife that she is the legal guardian and she can do the sh*t for the niece now or what. I am the only steady male figure in the nieces life. I'm more of a father figure to her than her own dad.

[Crazymix]

Show her the evidence you gathered and when she starts blaming you/ putting a guilt trip on you, you know she is guilty. Throw her ass out the door.

x2... don't make her feel as if you done wrong.. shes a cheating WHORE!

lol,i love that show.

wow, another cheating military spouse! just be straight up and dont take her ****.

x2.

let the divorce papers do the talking for you

this will open her eyes.

[armyman8181]

So what is she doing, you catch her making sexytime plans with another guy or is it just a number shes calling but you dont know what theyre talking about? At least make sure you have solid proof before accusing..

I have the phone # of the guy I know who he is from a people search on the internet I know where he lives and age. I know everything about him. I also took a pic of her truck in the parking lot of his apt. complex today on my way into work. I knew she was there cause about the time she should have been home I called her cell and she didn't answer so I went by and sure enough she was there.

[user23960508710783]

Also forgot to mention that we have custudy of my wifes niece and I take her to and pick her up from school everyday she is a special needs kid. Do I tell the wife that she is the legal guardian and she can do the sh*t for the niece now or what. I am the only steady male figure in the nieces life. I'm more of a father figure to her than her own dad.

HOLY ****, dude, this is bad news. Your wife can sue you for child support payments if you are "like a father figure" to this little girl. That is 18 years of you paying 50% of your income to her.

DON'T say that little girls name, or say a single word about her to your wife. Get a lawyer, and get one fast.

[user23960508710783]

I have the phone # of the guy I know who he is from a people search on the internet I know where he lives and age. I know everything about him. I also took a pic of her truck in the parking lot of his apt. complex today on my way into work. I knew she was there cause about the time she should have been home I called her cell and she didn't answer so I went by and sure enough she was there.

Just forget about the other dude. He's just in it for the sex, it has nothing to do with you.

Blame her.

[armyman8181]

HOLY ****, dude, this is bad news. Your wife can sue you for child support payments if you are "like a father figure" to this little girl. That is 18 years of you paying 50% of your income to her.

DON'T say that little girls name, or say a single word about her to your wife. Get a lawyer, and get one fast.

The girl is 18 and she isn't mine or my wife my wife is her aunt.

[Violator009]

I have the phone # of the guy I know who he is from a people search on the internet I know where he lives and age. I know everything about him. I also took a pic of her truck in the parking lot of his apt. complex today on my way into work. I knew she was there cause about the time she should have been home I called her cell and she didn't answer so I went by and sure enough she was there.

Yeah thats pretty fooked up, might aswell confront her with it...

[armyman8181]

If anyone leaves I just want to thank you for your advice I will rep all reps on recharge.

[armyman8181]

Yeah thats pretty fooked up, might aswell confront her with it...

How do I bring it up? Just be like we need to talk I know your cheating on me. And see what she says and if she denies then give her the proof and watch the body language.

[proteinpump]

If anyone leaves I just want to thank you for your advice I will rep all reps on recharge.

Be strong bro....good luck!

[BloodyR]

Ouch.
sorry to hear about that. Like others have said seek legal advice before doing anything. You seem to be handling the situation pretty good. Good luck

[armyman8181]

They other thing that really sucks is that with all the stress with this I am not eating healthy and lossing weight fast like in the last week 8lbs. fast.

But I am still going to the gym to get my mind off of it. But when i'm done doing a machine I get very light headed and feel like I am going to pass out.