New Pro Bbding Federation!!

[Victorian guy]

Brothers,

There is a new professional bodybuilding organization, and it has recently held it's first 'Olympia'. I can't believe that on a board like this, NOBODY has reported its existence nor paid attention to its formation!

It's called the IFDDB, which stands for 'International Federation of Developmentally Disabled Bodybuilders' and is to the IFBB what the Special Olympics are to the 'real' Olympics. It's a federation for the intellectually challenged, and I find the fact that it has received NO attention from the mainstream bodybuilding media simply DISGRACEFUL.

The following is a true story.

Well, brothers, I was there on Saturday, September 10, in the city of Montreal, Canada, for the first 'IFDDB Mr. Olympia' contest, and so were a few top bodybuilders, lending their hands to this fledgling federation out of the pure goodness of their hearts.

I oversee the training, nutrition, and supplementation of an extraordinary lad named Marvin, who some say suffers from Down's Syndrome while others maintain he's simply some sort of 'missing link' on account of his ferocious strength and animal instincts. Marvin weighs in at over 300 pounds, and is banned from several gyms in the London (England) area due to his temper and his tendency to leave all the bars bent on account of the weights he handles. He packs in 20 000 calories a day under my supervision, trains with insane poundages, takes handfuls of anadrol and boatloads of test, and generally lives to lift. My family chauffeur and training assistant, Nobby, oversees Marvin's motivational training. Any instruction or suggestion from either one of us is taken as the word of God by Marvin and followed fanatically.

Marvin, Nobby, and I went to the Ray Rougeau convention centre for the big event. Marvin had qualified for the Olympia on account of his winning the British 'Strongest Mentally Challenged' men's contest.
On the afternoon of the big event, we met the competition. Truly big men, not exactly ripped to shreds, but nonetheless the kind of fellows who bench 4 plates with ease. Marvin had some serious competition, especially in the form of a true mutant from somewhere east of the Ural mountains named Borgo, who lumbered about proclaiming "Me Borgo, strong like bull!", which was the sum total of his conversation. It would definitely come down to Borgo vs. Marvin, and Nobby and I eagerly awaited the evening of the Special Olympia.

I almost thought Marvin wouldnt be allowed to compete on account of an oversight- he'd forgotten to bring his posing trunks! It was the last minute, there were no replacements to be had- so Marvin had to compete wearing his Fruit of the Loom Y-fronts!

Marvin advanced to the finals. His posing routine consisted of more or less doing a most muscular over and over to the title theme of the movie 'A Clockwork Orange'. Nobby had given Marvin the DVD some months ago and told him to watch 'A Clockwork Orange' every single day to get motivated.
Finally, Borgo and Marvin in a posedown. Both big men with double-digit bodyfat, but size alone had decided their top places.
The winner: Borgo! Marvin came in second.
When the placings were announced, Nobby and I could barely contain our rage. "That's bloody ****ing unfair judging- Marvin's been CHEATED!!" I screamed. As Borgo and Marvin were being presented with their medals by none other than Lee Priest, I cupped my hands to my mouth and thundered "MARVIN - IT'S NOT FAIR! YOU WERE CHEATED!! IT'S NOT FAIR!!!" . Marvin heard my cry, and stood looking stunned for a minute and a look of stupefaction crossed his bespectacled face. Nobby stood up, and in his heavy Cockney accent, bellowed "OI!!! MAHVIN!! TOIM FER A BIT O ULTRA FOOKIN VIOLENCE!!! URT THE BAHSTADS!!!" he roared, causing the event to come to a standstill as Lee, the judges, the contestants, and spectators looked at Nobby, some in annoyance, but most in fear.
Marvin starting trembling in rage, and began sputtering "It...a-aint f-f-f-FAIR!!" he thundered, looking with utter dismay, insult, and rage at his medal.

Lee Priest, master of ceremonies, tried to calm Marvin down, reminding him of the all-expenses paid trip to Australia that came with second place. "C'mon mate, it's allroight...you've won a trip to Australia mate...you can visit me there...I'll throw a shrimp on the barbie for ya mate.."
"**** YOU!!!" I'll bloody well TOLCHOCK you I will!!" Marvin screamed, and then EXPLODED in rage. He charged forward, both arms outstretched, and clotheslined Lee and Borgo right off the stage! Both men went flying, arse-over-tit, right into the second row, badly injuring the fans they landed on!

Screaming in rage, Marvin charged off the stage, ran over to the judges' table, tossed it over and then tossed a couple of the judges (who hadn't fled fast enough) across the theatre, as if they were no more than ragdolls!
Then Marvin stood, arms outstretched, and uttered a rage-filled roar of "AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHH!!!", which was heard across the world, and was a rage filled cry no hominid has been able to thunder since Neanderthal man lumbered the earth! Marvin stormed out of the theatre, screaming, and the sound of glass shattering meant only one thing- he was storming right through the front glass doors of the convention centre!!
Nobby and I lumbered after him, as fast as our tree-trunk legs could carry us.
As we headed out through the shattered remains of the front glass doors, and made it to the top of the staircase leading up from the street to the front doors, we beheld a terrible sight-
Dorian Yates had been scheduled to give a speech once the awards were all presented. 'The Shadow' had arrived with his wife, parents, and children- that's the sort of FAMILY MAN the great one is- and from what I saw must have been at the top of the staircase, about to walk through the front doors, when Marvin PLOWED through him and his family...they lay sprawled, at the bottom of the stairs! A pile of broken humanity which had once been the mighty Dorian Yates and his kin!

Marvin had gone storming off. He'd flipped over a couple of parked cars, brought traffic to a standstill, and gone running off into a park. He'd torn down the iron bars of a fence which stood in his way, and, clad only in a pair of underwear, stormed off into the unkown.

It's days later, brothers, and the authorities STILL haven't tracked down Marvin. They think he must have made it to a wooded area on the edge of the city, and judging by the reports of some campers of a human-like creature beating them down and stealing a cooler of food, Marvin is likely running amok in the forests outside Montreal-no doubt killing bears and moose with his bare hands!

Nobby and I have since returned to England, and surely Marvin will be found. Indian trackers, helicopters, and tranquilizer-dartgun equipped forestry officials are, as I type, actively searching for this modern-day Quasimodo.

Well, bros, the IFDDB isn't going to let this one setback derail it- NO SIR! It is publishing it's own magazine, and the first issue will feature a story on the whole episode. As soon as Marvin is caught and returned to England, Nobby and I will stop by the group home where he lives and get him to the nearest gym, back into training for next year's IFDDB Olympia!!

[ghostfacekilla]

that was stupid...

[W8isGR8]

That was the dumbest, most idiotic post I've ever heard. Nowhere, in your incoherent rambling response, was there anything that resembled a rational thought. Everyone in this forum is now dumber for having read that. You are awarded no rep points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[SuperCHARKA]

Good one, Vic. You went as far as your legs would allow- that's commitment.

[HEADSH0T]

Another great story.
Good job victorian.

[gunters twin]

get some class victorian you idiot that was stupid and classless with no taste and what kind of thread is that in here you jerk.

[bobbymorales69]

The story is meant for entertainment. Take it for what it is. I chuckled.

[APBTOwner]

The story is meant for entertainment. Take it for what it is. I chuckled.

yeah, people on here just like to bitch. I think the bitchy little babys on here are better entertainment then that story. I get even a bigger chuckle out of the pro wana-bes that do things like bust the real pros balls.

[FreshMintBlue]

Excellent very well written, I wish you would post more of Marvin and his gang...

[LLoydBanks]

this thread is worthless without...

oh wait, nvm.

[Kagh_t]

lol, that was rather funny.

[Mr Beer]

Awesome as ever!

[VoodooSteamBoat]

ah this is one of your worst vic...

[BlueMeanie]

You should realize that some of us may have friends/family that are mentally disabled and that maybe... just maybe... they might find it offensive. Can you say Patzer?

[The.Giant]

Sub par for VG but still entertaining non-the-less.

Keep on writing.

[Taffin]

Lee Priest, master of ceremonies, tried to calm Marvin down, reminding him of the all-expenses paid trip to Australia that came with second place. "C'mon mate, it's allroight...you've won a trip to Australia mate...you can visit me there...I'll throw a shrimp on the barbie for ya mate.."

Best national accent stereotype in place of actual characterization of a pro since the story with Gunther. I mean that as a compliment.

[BB fanatic]

Any chance you know its website?
I for one would love to help support this new BB conference.

[Tim_G]

Any chance you know its website?
I for one would love to help support this new BB conference.

www.hooklineandsinker.com

[the terminator]

I found this post offensive and didnt like it at all.

[Alek]

Awesome post man. Thanks for posting.

It's also a good test to see how many people actually have a sense of humour lol.