SexyBack's Journey

[KEA]

Hey the glute pics LTX posted are actually great hip openers.

Here is a detailed description of how to enter the posture:
http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/863

The man with his arms over his head is probably doing a backward bend. It stretches the sides of the body and opens up the chest.

[buffpook]

Happy Belated Birthday!!!

I'm glad you went to the dr. and that he listened to you. At least getting all those tests taken will show you if anything is wrong - so now you'll know!

The "d" word can be hard... I took meds for depression because my dr. didn't listen to me... I figured out what was wrong, fixed it, and weened myself off the meds. I'm sure the lack of energy is probably effecting the way you've been feeling lately. If you're anything like me, you like to DO things and are pissed off when you can't. That can bring my mood way down.

Continue to keep us posted, hun. You're in my thoughts and prayers!

*hugs*

[moon girl]

Sorry for totally missing the post about your doctor's appointment yesterday. I understand that all this stuff may be a bit scary and unsettling, especially the depression stuff, but at least something's getting done now. I'm SO glad you had blood taken and your doctor is really trying to figure out what's going on.

As for the depression - IMO it has nothing to do with losing control of your life. Especially since it can be / is hormonal (right?). If there is a chemical imbalance, taking meds might be just what you need to get back to a place where you can actually start working on things. Plus, if he does figure out what's going on with your lack of energy, that might help too.

In the end, what really matters is that you get to a happier place. If that means you have to take depression meds for a while - so what? It's not like strangers on the street can smell it on you or anything . Just visualize how great you'll feel once everything is 'normal' again - when you've got lots of energy and you have a general sense of happiness. Accomplishing your goals (fitness-related and otherwise) will probably become easier as well.

Bit of a long post, whoops

[SexyBack]

Workout

41 min bike ride

calories burned: 279
Max HR: 163 - 85%
Avg HR: 127 - 66%

Diet

B: english muffin, PB, milk, whey
S: yogurt, almonds
L: leftover cannelloni, and enchilada
PreWO: oats, whey,
S: munchies
D: hamburger with bun, pickles, bbq sauce, cheese

Notes
It took all I had for that bike ride today. I had a bad day at work, I blew up and cried to my boss's. Told them I don't like the way my job is turning out because it's quite boring. So when I got home, all I wanted to do was sleep, as usual.

[SexyBack]

Originally Posted by Lifting N Tx

That was a great post by Kat. She is currently under a lot of time stress due to the need to study so much for another upcoming section of the CPA exam. She indicated in her journal that she plans to only post nightly updates in her journal until the 17th. So...I'm a poor substitute for Kat, but I'll try to answer based on what I know.


Originally she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to squat for a long time. I don't remember all the details, but I think she had resumed some light squatting almost immediately, and managed to set a squat PR after a couple of weeks as she mentioned. I do know that she still has occasional discomfort, and feels the need to continue to be very diligent in the stretching.



I was starting to have a few similar symptoms, and she sent me a few that I'll link below. I can't tell all the details like she can, but maybe they'll help.

Hip flexor stretch pic one:



I don't know what the hand overhead is, maybe he's just trying to balance.

Hip flexor stretch (plus extensors) pic two:



Similar but leaning forward.

Glute stretch pic one:



Hard to see the leg in front of her, but it's folded under, as in the next pic.

Glute stretch pic two:



This one shows an upright position; I forget if that's just harder or supposed to do something else.

Generic quad stretch:



Don't know if you need that too, but I had it bookmarked also. Note that despite appearances, it is not designed as a hip flexor stretch.

Thanks! Those pics will surely help! Now I just have to make myself do them!

[SexyBack]

Originally Posted by mcampana

Don't feel sad if you determine that you have depression/anxiety, etc. Acknowleging it is actually taking control. You can read in my journal about my battle w/anxiety and how I have gone on/come off/gone on meds in the past year. I am very anti-meds, but there was an obvious problem with me and the meds made a obvious difference, not just to myslef but to others. I wish you the best in finding out what is going on.

Thanks hun! I guess it's just scary for me to open up about these things as I tend to keep things inside because I'm afraid of being judged. I know everyone on here won't judge, but my friends may. It's just a feeling I have never felt before either, so it scares me.

Originally Posted by vanillabn

First of all, a late happy birthday to you!! I didn't have the internet on the weekend so I'll say it now

I'm glad the Dr. listened to you ... it's so frustrating when they brush you off so it's great that you got taken seriously this time! I hope things work out and you're able to find out what's going on. Stay strong!!

thanks Karina!
sucks though, I can't get in to see him until next Tuesday. So I have to hang on another week and try to pull through.

Originally Posted by KEA

Hey the glute pics LTX posted are actually great hip openers.

Here is a detailed description of how to enter the posture:
http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/863

The man with his arms over his head is probably doing a backward bend. It stretches the sides of the body and opens up the chest.

thanks for the link! I'll check it out!

Originally Posted by buffpook

Happy Belated Birthday!!!

I'm glad you went to the dr. and that he listened to you. At least getting all those tests taken will show you if anything is wrong - so now you'll know!

The "d" word can be hard... I took meds for depression because my dr. didn't listen to me... I figured out what was wrong, fixed it, and weened myself off the meds. I'm sure the lack of energy is probably effecting the way you've been feeling lately. If you're anything like me, you like to DO things and are pissed off when you can't. That can bring my mood way down.

Continue to keep us posted, hun. You're in my thoughts and prayers!

*hugs*

thanks!
That's great that you were able to figure out what was wrong. I hope I can figure it out too.

Originally Posted by moon girl

Sorry for totally missing the post about your doctor's appointment yesterday. I understand that all this stuff may be a bit scary and unsettling, especially the depression stuff, but at least something's getting done now. I'm SO glad you had blood taken and your doctor is really trying to figure out what's going on.

As for the depression - IMO it has nothing to do with losing control of your life. Especially since it can be / is hormonal (right?). If there is a chemical imbalance, taking meds might be just what you need to get back to a place where you can actually start working on things. Plus, if he does figure out what's going on with your lack of energy, that might help too.

In the end, what really matters is that you get to a happier place. If that means you have to take depression meds for a while - so what? It's not like strangers on the street can smell it on you or anything . Just visualize how great you'll feel once everything is 'normal' again - when you've got lots of energy and you have a general sense of happiness. Accomplishing your goals (fitness-related and otherwise) will probably become easier as well.

Bit of a long post, whoops

thanks!
I think I'm also scared to become dependent on them. I think my girlfriend is. Maybe not. I dunno. I'm also scared that I will have a negative reaction to them and have no feelings at all. That my sex drive will decrease (if it's even possible to decrease anymore ). Just a lot of thoughts going through my head right now.

[indiglo9124]

Sorry you are feeling down sista . . . Sometimes life just sucks, but when it gets bad . . . really bad you gotta seek help to see if something is wrong and I am glad you took that steps. Hoping things turn out for the best soon

[SexyBack]

For those of you not on facebook, here are a few of my pics from my birthday weekend!

1 - me eating a big giant pickle on a stick
2 - the sugarbush
3 - the hut where they make the maple syrup
4 - the modern way of taking out the sap
5 - the old way
6 - kettle corn! soooo good!

[SexyBack]

1 - boiling the sap to make syrup
2 - a real outhouse, that I had to use too! I couldn't hold it any longer!
3 - a gorgeous Akita - Scott wants a dog like this! Looks like he has tiger stripes
4 - horses! We didn't ride the wagon though
5 - First bbq of the year!
6 - Ollie being a good boy outside

[twinnett]

Thanks for the pics! Looks like fun...I LOVE kettlecorn!!!

[moon girl]

LOVE the pics

Originally Posted by SexyBack

thanks!
I think I'm also scared to become dependent on them. I think my girlfriend is. Maybe not. I dunno. I'm also scared that I will have a negative reaction to them and have no feelings at all. That my sex drive will decrease (if it's even possible to decrease anymore ). Just a lot of thoughts going through my head right now.

I think whether or not you become dependent on the meds really depends on your attitude. Even with stuff like this (when there's meds involved, etc), the mind is very powerful, and I think if you believe that you're just using them to get back on track, you can and will do without them after a while. If you believe the meds are the only thing keeping you sane and there's no way you can live without them... there might be a problem

As for sex drive, I completely understand why that worries you. But on the other hand, if a (hopefully short) period of decreased sex drive means you'll be happier overall, it might be worth it. Once you're feeling happier, your sex drive might increase just because you're happier.

Lastly... if the meds really mess with you, you can always stop taking them.

I'm gonna stop ranting now

[HappySnowBunny]

Loving the pictures!!! Looks like such a fun festival, and that white stuff on the ground....*thud* So cool! Did you have any maple toffee? Your pickle picture is priceless!

I'm sorry to hear you had such a rotten day. Do you end up crying when you're really very frustrated and angry? That's what happens with me and it makes everything so much worse.

[amj0883]

It sounds like you had a wonderful weekend!! I loved the pickle pic - I for one cannot stand pickles...lol...

You should make the stretches priority in your training - I bet that will help you tons!!

[SexyBack]

Originally Posted by twinnett

Thanks for the pics! Looks like fun...I LOVE kettlecorn!!!

The kettlecorn we usually get is sweet and salty, but not this one, it was just popped in a kettle and was salty, no sweet. so good though. I kept joking to Scott that it was seasoned with bird poop, since it was made outside!

Originally Posted by moon girl

LOVE the pics



I think whether or not you become dependent on the meds really depends on your attitude. Even with stuff like this (when there's meds involved, etc), the mind is very powerful, and I think if you believe that you're just using them to get back on track, you can and will do without them after a while. If you believe the meds are the only thing keeping you sane and there's no way you can live without them... there might be a problem

As for sex drive, I completely understand why that worries you. But on the other hand, if a (hopefully short) period of decreased sex drive means you'll be happier overall, it might be worth it. Once you're feeling happier, your sex drive might increase just because you're happier.

Lastly... if the meds really mess with you, you can always stop taking them.

I'm gonna stop ranting now

yeah, you are probably right. Once I can get my body to be right, I can train my brain to think right as well. And once I have that, then I can focus on my workouts in the gym and the bedroom! Right now though I'm trying to get my brain right, but it's not working, so it looks like I may need a little help. Thank you so much for your posts, they really mean a lot to me and make me feel so much better.

Originally Posted by HappySnowBunny

Loving the pictures!!! Looks like such a fun festival, and that white stuff on the ground....*thud* So cool! Did you have any maple toffee? Your pickle picture is priceless!

I'm sorry to hear you had such a rotten day. Do you end up crying when you're really very frustrated and angry? That's what happens with me and it makes everything so much worse.

Thanks! tee hee
No maple toffee, but I had maple baked beans, maple popcorn, maple sugar candies, maple hard candies, and of course samples of fresh maple syrup! mmmmm

Yes, I cry when I'm frustrated and angry. It's hard for people to take me seriously when I cry when I'm mad. I look like such a baby. And then I talk in circles trying to get my point across and I get no where! *lol*

Originally Posted by amj0883

It sounds like you had a wonderful weekend!! I loved the pickle pic - I for one cannot stand pickles...lol...

You should make the stretches priority in your training - I bet that will help you tons!!

oh, I have a worse pic of me and the pickle, but I will NOT post it!
I love pickles! we often eat them right out of the jar!

Stretches will be a priority in my training, once I can get my training a priority in my day. ugh!

[buffpook]

I love kettle corn too! Lovely pics... especially of the akita - I'm a dog lover

[SexyBack]

Originally Posted by indiglo9124

Sorry you are feeling down sista . . . Sometimes life just sucks, but when it gets bad . . . really bad you gotta seek help to see if something is wrong and I am glad you took that steps. Hoping things turn out for the best soon

thanks Val!

Originally Posted by buffpook

I love kettle corn too! Lovely pics... especially of the akita - I'm a dog lover

Thanks Mel!
That's the type of dog Scott wants to get, either an Akita or a husky

[SexyBack]

So still no word from the doctor yet about my blood tests. I guess if he doesn't call today, then everything is fine, so it's gotta be something else.

I'm also canceling my next appointment with the nutritionist. I've been on the pills she gave me for almost two weeks. I haven't felt any more energy from the adrenal pills. And the probiotics, which are 60 billion live active cultures don't seem to be making me more regular at all. I'm still my normal 1-2 times a week. I just can't afford to be paying for her visits and for pills that don't work. I'll finish the bottles, and if for some reason they seem to be working in the end, I'll decide then if I want to buy more or not.

[buffpook]

Originally Posted by SexyBack

I'm also canceling my next appointment with the nutritionist. I've been on the pills she gave me for almost two weeks. I haven't felt any more energy from the adrenal pills. And the probiotics, which are 60 billion live active cultures don't seem to be making me more regular at all. I'm still my normal 1-2 times a week. I just can't afford to be paying for her visits and for pills that don't work. I'll finish the bottles, and if for some reason they seem to be working in the end, I'll decide then if I want to buy more or not.

I'd feel the same way. If it's not working... no use wasting time and money.

Out of curiousity, do you count how many g. of fiber you have/day? I try to get inbetween 25-35 g/day - and that helps me.... along with strong coffee! LOL!

I hope you have a good day today...

Pook

[SexyBack]

Originally Posted by buffpook

I'd feel the same way. If it's not working... no use wasting time and money.

Out of curiousity, do you count how many g. of fiber you have/day? I try to get inbetween 25-35 g/day - and that helps me.... along with strong coffee! LOL!

I hope you have a good day today...

Pook

I haven't been counting, but that's because I haven't been counting anything lately. But I have a fiber shake every day, that has 6g, plus my english muffin, and oats. Then my banana. That brings me up to about 19g. Then on top of all that, any veggies I may eat.

I don't feel constipated all the time, just not regular, and I think a lot of my bloating has to do with me not being regular.

[moon girl]

Originally Posted by SexyBack

Yes, I cry when I'm frustrated and angry. It's hard for people to take me seriously when I cry when I'm mad. I look like such a baby. And then I talk in circles trying to get my point across and I get no where! *lol*

Once again, I realize how similar we are .

Did you make an appointment to go back to the doc's to talk about whether or not you may be depressed? Maybe you can ask then about the blood tests, just to be sure.

You're probably right that the nutritionist may not be your best bet at the moment, especially if the visits are that expensive and her 'meds' don't do anything for you.

Have you tried increasing your veggie intake? I seem to be most regular when I eat a lot of veggies. Maybe it's a different type of fiber (perhaps soluble vs. insoluble).

[IronCamp]

Originally Posted by SexyBack

Thanks hun! I guess it's just scary for me to open up about these things as I tend to keep things inside because I'm afraid of being judged. I know everyone on here won't judge, but my friends may. It's just a feeling I have never felt before either, so it scares me.

I completely understand about never having felt the feeling before. It was a complete shock to me that I would end up suffering from anxiety, as I have never had to deal with anything of this nature before.

As for friends judging you: (1) they don't need to know (2) if you don't feel ashamed (and you shouldn't), anything they say or do is irrelevant (3) I question how good of "friends" they are if they judge you.

Great pics from your bday! Looks like fun!

[serinebean]

Ahh...you can talk depression with me anytime. I used to be embarassed by it....but eh. No one cares as much about it as you will.....well your mom maybe. But the common reaction is blank stares....if you dont have it you dont get it. But if your friends judge you for something you cant control....what kind of pals are they really?
I get heart thumping...hand numbing....feels like I am dying panic attacks...for no reason. Even woke me in my sleep last year = scary. And its hard not to think about when it could happen again...makes it worse.
I feel ya on the lack of energy. I think...good grief! I am 24 and exhausted!! From what? I see other ppl bounce around all day.
It frustrating to say the least. But keep fighting it. The more you move..the better.

LOL....I lOVE that pickle on a stick!! Fabulous! Id need mustard with that
Oh and your cat is a handsome one....awww.

I am so glad you had a good Birthday. Sorry I missed it! Theres been a few b-days in here as of late.

Take care!

[HappySnowBunny]

Originally Posted by SexyBack

Thanks! tee hee
No maple toffee, but I had maple baked beans, maple popcorn, maple sugar candies, maple hard candies, and of course samples of fresh maple syrup! mmmmm

Yes, I cry when I'm frustrated and angry. It's hard for people to take me seriously when I cry when I'm mad. I look like such a baby. And then I talk in circles trying to get my point across and I get no where! *lol*



oh, I have a worse pic of me and the pickle, but I will NOT post it!
I love pickles! we often eat them right out of the jar!

Stretches will be a priority in my training, once I can get my training a priority in my day. ugh!

Originally Posted by SexyBack

So still no word from the doctor yet about my blood tests. I guess if he doesn't call today, then everything is fine, so it's gotta be something else.

I'm also canceling my next appointment with the nutritionist. I've been on the pills she gave me for almost two weeks. I haven't felt any more energy from the adrenal pills. And the probiotics, which are 60 billion live active cultures don't seem to be making me more regular at all. I'm still my normal 1-2 times a week. I just can't afford to be paying for her visits and for pills that don't work. I'll finish the bottles, and if for some reason they seem to be working in the end, I'll decide then if I want to buy more or not.

Oooh post the other pickle pic!! heehee. I would love to have maple syrup samples to try. I'm the only one in my family who appreciates the quality of true maple syrup. Everyone else likes that other stuff. blech.

crying when mad, ugh, yes. I'm exactly that same way. It's very frustrating because you're wanting to make a point but it's crumbling behind tears and sniffles.

Stretching will be such a joy. In fact, have you considered devoting a whole session just to slow deep stretches? That can be quite zen, you know. Music, candles, very relaxing. I try to take my day 'off' and stretch everything...takes about 45-60 minutes and I'm so relaxed by the end!

Hope you hear from the doc soon. That's got to be heavy on your mind. And good that you're listening to your body regarding the pills from the nutritionist! You know what's best for you and if they're not working, then it's not worth it.

Now, smile. You're worth it!

[SexyBack]

Originally Posted by mcampana

I completely understand about never having felt the feeling before. It was a complete shock to me that I would end up suffering from anxiety, as I have never had to deal with anything of this nature before.

As for friends judging you: (1) they don't need to know (2) if you don't feel ashamed (and you shouldn't), anything they say or do is irrelevant (3) I question how good of "friends" they are if they judge you.

Great pics from your bday! Looks like fun!

I don't know if they will judge in a bad way. My best friend won't, I know that, she is on meds as well. but sometimes others seem to make jokes about things, even though they are good friends, so we'll see. Who knows, maybe I won't even need meds.

I think I"m judging myself the most though!

Originally Posted by serinebean

Ahh...you can talk depression with me anytime. I used to be embarassed by it....but eh. No one cares as much about it as you will.....well your mom maybe. But the common reaction is blank stares....if you dont have it you dont get it. But if your friends judge you for something you cant control....what kind of pals are they really?
I get heart thumping...hand numbing....feels like I am dying panic attacks...for no reason. Even woke me in my sleep last year = scary. And its hard not to think about when it could happen again...makes it worse.
I feel ya on the lack of energy. I think...good grief! I am 24 and exhausted!! From what? I see other ppl bounce around all day.
It frustrating to say the least. But keep fighting it. The more you move..the better.

LOL....I lOVE that pickle on a stick!! Fabulous! Id need mustard with that
Oh and your cat is a handsome one....awww.

I am so glad you had a good Birthday. Sorry I missed it! Theres been a few b-days in here as of late.

Take care!

Thank you for sharing your story with me! I really don't feel alone about this now.

Yeah, I don't bounce off the walls either. lately it takes all I have to get in a workout, or clean the house or whatever.

Pickles with mustard? mmmm. weird. Ever tried deep fried pickles? They batter them up and deep fry them. yummy! *wipes drool from chin*

Originally Posted by HappySnowBunny

Oooh post the other pickle pic!! heehee. I would love to have maple syrup samples to try. I'm the only one in my family who appreciates the quality of true maple syrup. Everyone else likes that other stuff. blech.

crying when mad, ugh, yes. I'm exactly that same way. It's very frustrating because you're wanting to make a point but it's crumbling behind tears and sniffles.

Stretching will be such a joy. In fact, have you considered devoting a whole session just to slow deep stretches? That can be quite zen, you know. Music, candles, very relaxing. I try to take my day 'off' and stretch everything...takes about 45-60 minutes and I'm so relaxed by the end!

Hope you hear from the doc soon. That's got to be heavy on your mind. And good that you're listening to your body regarding the pills from the nutritionist! You know what's best for you and if they're not working, then it's not worth it.

Now, smile. You're worth it!

The other pic could be quite ummm, dirty, so no way!

I hate that I cry so much.

I added a day of yogalates each Saturday, for 45 mins, not sure if that's really helping or not, I think it is. I've missed a couple of Saturdays though.

I stretched last night, maybe for 10 mins. I'm just so lazy, and tired. I should do more though.

I called and canceled my appointment with the nutritionalist. I freaked out last night because I got chest pains and a pain in my shoulder, sharp pain, no idea where it came from. scary!

[SexyBack]

So I'm kind of getting sick of my oats and whey for my preworkout meal. But I need something that is easy to have at work. Does anyone have any suggestions?

[moon girl]

Originally Posted by SexyBack

So I'm kind of getting sick of my oats and whey for my preworkout meal. But I need something that is easy to have at work. Does anyone have any suggestions?

What about plain yogurt with berries, whey, and flax? One of my faves lately, and easily digested (or so it seems, anyway - if I eat it before kickboxing I don't get sick to my stomach).

That pain last night sound so scary! Hope it doesn't happen again.

I hate that I cry a lot too... especially because it really seems to annoy my bf sometimes that he has no idea what's going on and why I'm crying

[serinebean]

You are so not alone. ~hugs~

Ummm pre work out.... pumpkin!!! lol. Or yogurt and banana with whey. There are lots of options. We tend to get one track minded in here!

Good luck.

[Mrs_Muscles]

Thanks for visiting my journal!

I also want to second Serine, you can talk depression any time with me as well. Honestly, a lot of the symptoms you are talking about are classic depression. I denied it for years and it made things really hard on me and the others around me. I was completely miserable at times and wanted to do nothing more than sleep and eat. I used to be really ashamed of it and that was part of never seeking help. But in reality, so many things can trigger depression that it's actually more common than most would think.

I've been on a number of different medications. It was really hard to take them at first. I didn't want a false happiness. Some of the medications did not agree with me and I hated the way they made me feel. Finally we found something that worked and I've been on it for nearly 2 years. Now I'm terrified to stop it! Although, I do wonder if I've recovered enough to handle things without it.

Depression can make you truely feel physically ill. It shows up masked as so many other things. Stick with the path you're on, you're doing it all right. You will get to the bottom of it. *hugs* I know it isn't easy.

[twinnett]

I have been going to the bathroom constantly lately and I was SOOOO constipated...I've been having more fiber, gave up diet pop and have had TONS of water...

For preworkout, I either have my oats/whey/yogurt/banana shake or my banana/protein muffin (recipe in the new recipe thread!)

[SexyBack]

Workout - push

7 min treadmill warmup

BB Bench
12x45lbs
12x65lbs
20x65lbs
6x75lbs

Shoulder Press
12x15lb DB/hand
10x20lb DB/hand
10x20lb DB/hand
6x20lb DB/hand

Skull Crushers
12x10lb ez bar
12x10lb ez bar
20x15lb ez bar
20x15lb ez bar

Incline Flye
12x15lb DB/hand
12x15lb DB/hand
12x15lb DB/hand
6x20lb DB/hand

Front Raises
12x10lb DB/hand
12x10lb DB/hand
12x10lb DB/hand
6x15lb DB/hand

Tricep Dips
15xBW
12xBW
12xBW
12xBW

Ab Ball Crunches
4x20

Oblique Ball Crunches
4x15 each side

Lying Leg Raises on Bench
4 sets to failure (around 8 reps each)

Duration: 57 mins
Max HR: 138 - 72%
Avg HR: 114 - 59% >>I'm surprised I'm still alive, seems low
Calories burned: 300 - 60% fat


Diet

B - english muffin, pb, whey, milk
S - yogurt, CC, almonds
L - tuna, peas, olive oil, mustard
PreWO - oats, whey
S - baked chips
D - cabbage rolls (no cabbage though, yuck), mashed potatoes, gravy, mushrooms, cheese
S - grapes, tomato juice


Notes
My HR was pretty low. I noticed before I did any activity, it was around 100 bpm, so to only have an average of 114 seems quite low. I didn't really sweat, but I didn't rest much in between sets and I felt the burn. mmmmm....