Why does my husband grab my back fat?

Determined2lose · 11-01-2007, 05:53 PM

It is so annoying. He goes to give me a hug and like clockwork he will grab the little fat I do have on my back. Anyone else go through this?

Emoore · 11-01-2007, 06:22 PM

I'm pretty sure he doesn't mean to. Guys do stuff like this because they love us and they don't realize how much it drives us crazy. My husband is constantly pinching my butt and I HATE my butt. To me it feels like he's grabbing my fat, but he's just thinking that he loves me and wants to show affection.

I promise your husband isn't trying to grab your fat. That's probably just where his hand naturally goes when he hugs you.

Determined2lose · 11-01-2007, 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emoore

I'm pretty sure he doesn't mean to. Guys do stuff like this because they love us and they don't realize how much it drives us crazy. My husband is constantly pinching my butt and I HATE my butt. To me it feels like he's grabbing my fat, but he's just thinking that he loves me and wants to show affection.

I promise your husband isn't trying to grab your fat. That's probably just where his hand naturally goes when he hugs you.

I agree to a point but **** don't do it. He knows I hate it. It hurts my feels and annoys me. I mean I don't go around grabbing his stomach.

Emoore · 11-01-2007, 06:26 PM

Have you told him it hurts your feelings? Like seriously told him, "Honey, I know you love me, but please don't grab my back. It hurts my feelings." Not just "Quit that!"

Determined2lose · 11-01-2007, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emoore

Have you told him it hurts your feelings? Like seriously told him, "Honey, I know you love me, but please don't grab my back. It hurts my feelings." Not just "Quit that!"

Yup and he gets mad.

Emoore · 11-01-2007, 06:30 PM

Welp, all I can tell you is a good hard kick in the shins every time he does it. That'll break him. :-)

Hey look that was your 300th post!

Determined2lose · 11-01-2007, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emoore

Welp, all I can tell you is a good hard kick in the shins every time he does it. That'll break him. :-)

Hey look that was your 300th post!

LOL Thanks. More posts to come!! Thanks hun.

Yeah he is not doing it as much since I am losing weight and he can't grab any now. LOL Now he grabs my belly fat while I am sitting watching tv

terracotta · 11-01-2007, 06:36 PM

Maybe it's a secret spot reduction trick, he squeezes, and the fat disappears.. LOL.

It would piss me off too.

Determined2lose · 11-01-2007, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by terracotta

Maybe it's a secret spot reduction trick, he squeezes, and the fat disappears.. LOL.

It would piss me off too.

LOL Yeah that would be nice.

Emoore · 11-01-2007, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by terracotta

Maybe it's a secret spot reduction trick, he squeezes, and the fat disappears.. LOL.

If that were true I my butt would be much smaller.

Determined2lose · 11-01-2007, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emoore

If that were true I my butt would be much smaller.

As would mine hun. I have about 5 bruises on my one thigh from him pinching and such. He likes to bite my arms too.

Nothing like making you feel special huh?

terracotta · 11-01-2007, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emoore

If that were true I my butt would be much smaller.

mine too

Joshp9332 · 11-01-2007, 08:21 PM

maybe it's because in his eyes you are perfect in every way. So he needs to look for something/anything to prove to himself your still human?

Sixtoo · 11-01-2007, 10:53 PM

My ex would do that to me. He loved giving me a hug from behing and grabbing the chub that was on my belly. I confronted him about it and he explained that he did it because he loved it and appreciated my body. That was sweet, but didn't make it better.

Determined2lose · 11-01-2007, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joshp9332

maybe it's because in his eyes you are perfect in every way. So he needs to look for something/anything to prove to himself your still human?

Yeah right. I am far from perfect.....but very nice thought!! Thanks

Determined2lose · 11-01-2007, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatisfightclub

My ex would do that to me. He loved giving me a hug from behing and grabbing the chub that was on my belly. I confronted him about it and he explained that he did it because he loved it and appreciated my body. That was sweet, but didn't make it better.

Agreed. He has a weird way of showing the people he loves how he feels by doing stuff like that. I love him and all.....but sometimes I just want to be hugged and caressed not pinched. Or at least if he is going to pinch my butt make a comment about how hot I am. LOL

I have not heard those words out of his mouth in so long.

Scarface2883 · 11-01-2007, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatisfightclub

My ex would do that to me. He loved giving me a hug from behing and grabbing the chub that was on my belly. I confronted him about it and he explained that he did it because he loved it and appreciated my body. That was sweet, but didn't make it better.

I didn't know women were so insecure with their bodies. I mean, yeah I knew you all were insecure, but not to this degree! A simple pinch on the butt, belly or back really bothers you all. This thread has opened my eyes.

naweaver · 11-02-2007, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryannath

I didn't know women were so insecure with their bodies. I mean, yeah I knew you all were insecure, but not to this degree! A simple pinch on the butt, belly or back really bothers you all. This thread has opened my eyes.

You know, out of all the girls I have dated/fooled around with everyone of them has been insecure about thier body. I was laying down one night, her head was rested on my chest, and she was watching tv. I moved my hand down over her stomach and started to poke her, she then slapped me and was like quit playing with my fat.

Mind you she weighed 110lbs, so I gawked at her like wtf you have ab's?!

For someone who was not afraid to sleep naked with me in bed, or run around just in my boxers in my room she was very testy about me pinching/poking her.

Scarface2883 · 11-02-2007, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naweaver

You know, out of all the girls I have dated/fooled around with everyone of them has been insecure about thier body. I was laying down one night, her head was rested on my chest, and she was watching tv. I moved my hand down over her stomach and started to poke her, she then slapped me and was like quit playing with my fat.

Mind you she weighed 110lbs, so I gawked at her like wtf you have ab's?!

For someone who was not afraid to sleep naked with me in bed, or run around just in my boxers in my room she was very testy about me pinching/poking her.

LOL...wtf? She has issues. What she did does sound like the typical female though...lol.

Silvio Dante · 11-02-2007, 01:51 AM

LMAO! Oh stop it. U MAD

guest89 · 11-02-2007, 07:27 AM

Have you ever thought maybe he just wants to touch you/grab you and maybe, just maybe, he likes those fat rolls? I'm guessing you aren't too overweight so he might actually like them.

Some people think they're sexy.

proteinpump · 11-02-2007, 07:29 AM

Leverage

phytgrl · 11-02-2007, 07:58 AM

I dunno .......I may not make many friends here by saying this..LOL being women there are soo many reaons this could bug us... ... but , relax a litttle.. stop being so critically obsessed with it... so its there.. back fat .. if its large and you don't like it , do something about it if it bugs you that much............ If it is just a little bit of skin with underlying fat and water ur being a bit ridiculous getting mad at him.. .. I bet I can understand your thinking.. It doesn't actually physically hurt you, u see it as he is pinpointing or acknowledging your "flaws " or what you deem as imperfections... that you don't like.. does he say anything about it ? or is it just playful? they are not as picky with us as we are on ourselves.. relax a little. On the other hand if it is where he is doing it to say " come on honey you have to lose this" constantly yes that would drive me nuts too, i'd say back the f#$ off and you ain't perfect ... unless he is then ur screwed..... anyhow back to my theory.. .. at this point he thinks he's telling you something you don't know already or it's like you are not working on losing it. ON the other hand IF you know it is there and you aren't doing anything about it - is that the real reason it pisses you off because it reminds you of it and that you are procrastinating and should have gotten rid of it by now? we tend to get pissed off at them for things that we are really mad at ourselves for , lol then we expect them to know that this is why it is pissing you off and to be understanding about it.. where all they wanna do is grab touch and whatever. lolol.........and you are now frustrated all in 10 seconds of hugging? .... OMG we are way too friggin complex

naweaver · 11-02-2007, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phytgrl

I dunno .......I may not make many friends here by saying this..LOL being women there are soo many reaons this could bug us... ... but , relax a litttle.. stop being so critically obsessed with it... so its there.. back fat .. if its large and you don't like it , do something about it if it bugs you that much............ If it is just a little bit of skin with underlying fat and water ur being a bit ridiculous getting mad at him.. .. I bet I can understand your thinking.. It doesn't actually physically hurt you, u see it as he is pinpointing or acknowledging your "flaws " or what you deem as imperfections... that you don't like.. does he say anything about it ? or is it just playful? they are not as picky with us as we are on ourselves.. relax a little. On the other hand if it is where he is doing it to say " come on honey you have to lose this" constantly yes that would drive me nuts too, i'd say back the f#$ off and you ain't perfect ... unless he is then ur screwed..... anyhow back to my theory.. .. at this point he thinks he's telling you something you don't know already or it's like you are not working on losing it. ON the other hand IF you know it is there and you aren't doing anything about it - is that the real reason it pisses you off because it reminds you of it and that you are procrastinating and should have gotten rid of it by now? we tend to get pissed off at them for things that we are really mad at ourselves for , lol then we expect them to know that this is why it is pissing you off and to be understanding about it.. where all they wanna do is grab touch and whatever. lolol.........and you are now frustrated all in 10 seconds of hugging? .... OMG we are way too friggin complex

Finally a woman who can make some sense! reps!

Determined2lose · 11-02-2007, 10:11 AM

For me it is not so much the actual pinching it is the fact that he knows he bothers me and it hurts. I would not mind a pinch or a slap on the butt, but when you pinch it sucks. And I bruise so so easily. One night he thought it would be funny to poke my current bruise I had from who knows what....and the next day I have 3 more bruises. LOL

So yes I am insecure about my body but it is not the reason I get upset. I would rather him comment about my body than anthing.

naweaver · 11-02-2007, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Determined2lose

So yes I am insecure about my body but it is not the reason I get upset. I would rather him comment about my body than anthing.

Well have you explained that to him? Every girl that has told me dont call me fat, dont do this ect I listen other wise I dont get any.

gfundaro · 11-02-2007, 11:17 AM

My bf will sometimes rub my tummy when I say I feel bloated...and then I'm like, hey, don't rub that, I feel bloated!

You just have to tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable. He probably just thinks it's cute...my bf has a little tummy and I like to rub it, but he doesn't mind

Determined2lose · 11-02-2007, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naweaver

Well have you explained that to him? Every girl that has told me dont call me fat, dont do this ect I listen other wise I dont get any.

Yeah I tell him and then he gets upset with me

Determined2lose · 11-02-2007, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gfundaro

My bf will sometimes rub my tummy when I say I feel bloated...and then I'm like, hey, don't rub that, I feel bloated!

You just have to tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable. He probably just thinks it's cute...my bf has a little tummy and I like to rub it, but he doesn't mind

I know that he does it to show his affection. But man...painful.
I am just going to push myself that much harder that way one day hopefully he will not be able to giggle my ugliness or pinch my fat.

Oh i hope that day comes soon here.

blkbelt42 · 11-02-2007, 11:28 AM

I can tell you that I USED to do it to my wife but it's just part of touching her. I certainly wouldn't pinch it to cause her pain. I've stopped doing it as no one wants to be reminded, especially by their hubby that they have some fat on them. She didn't have to ask me to stop it was just something I thought..."Hey, there's no way she wants to be reminded that she has a little fat back there", so I just don't do it. It's about respect.