Depressed? How can you motivate yourself to climb out of the darkness?

[Islandtroll]

Many of you already know that throughout my life I have struggled with anxiety and depression. And that I have been on and off meds more than I would like to admit.

The good news is, I'm at the happiest point of my life, without the aid of medication.

Which brings us to the subject of this thread, when depressed how can you motivate yourself to climb out of the darkness?

I'm no shrink, but I know how I did it, so maybe others can find some help in my story.

Once off the meds I could tell I was heading to a mental place I didn't like very much (one that I have visited far to many times). I was so physically out of shape that no matter what exercise program I stated, visable results were way down the road. In fact even small improvments seemed out of reach, hell they seemed impossible!

So instead of focusing on something so far off, I picked something I could gage easily from the start. Did I jump right into the workouts you see me doing today? Hell no! All I did was grab two 25 pound dumbbells and a flat bench and gave it a go. (Interesting side note, Sara already had them for herself).

The frist time I think I only did two sets of 5, but it gave me a starting goal to try and surpass. So two days later I went for 3 sets, doing more then I did my last time really made me feel better about myself. Even if my whole day felt dark and empty, I was able to tell myself that at least I did my lifting.

As the weeks passed I added more and more exercises, with more and more goals. Until I was doing a full upper body 5 X 5 plan (added legs down the road). Once I realized that the goals were what was pulling me to the light, I knew I was on to something. I knew I had to make my program push me to higher and higher numbers!

As my routine evolved I wasn't even focused on body changes, but the day they came their was no turning back. I was become the person I always wanted to be! The little negative voice in my head stopped being so negative, and I started to believe that I could be happy without pharmaceuticals.


Everyone feel free to ask any questions you have, here or send me a private message. I'm at a point where I can be open about my history, and I would love to help others.

Small discalmer:

Don't stop taking you medication without a doctors consent.

How can you get off anti-depressants if your doctor does not agree you are ready (but you think you are)? My suggestion would be to find other doctor.



Remember just because you feel alone, does not mean you are. Start small, and try to improve just a little each day, you could very well surprise yourself (I know I did).

[mdocruz]

Originally Posted by Islandtroll

Many of you already know that throughout my life I have struggled with anxiety and depression. And that I have been on and off meds more than I would like to admit.

The good news is, I'm at the happiest point of my life, without the aid of medication.

Which brings us to the subject of this thread, when depressed how can you motivate yourself to climb out of the darkness?

I'm no shrink, but I know how I did it, so maybe others can find some help in my story.

Once off the meds I could tell I was heading to a mental place I didn't like very much (one that I have visited far to many times). I was so physically out of shape that no matter what exercise program I stated, visable results were way down the road. In fact even small improvments seemed out of reach, hell they seemed impossible!

So instead of focusing on something so far off, I picked something I could gage easily from the start. Did I jump right into the workouts you see me doing today? Hell no! All I did was grab two 25 pound dumbbells and a flat bench and gave it a go. (Interesting side note, Sara already had them for herself).

The frist time I think I only did two sets of 5, but it gave me a starting goal to try and surpass. So two days later I went for 3 sets, doing more then I did my last time really made me feel better about myself. Even if my whole day felt dark and empty, I was able to tell myself that at least I did my lifting.

As the weeks passed I added more and more exercises, with more and more goals. Until I was doing a full upper body 5 X 5 plan (added legs down the road). Once I realized that the goals were what was pulling me to the light, I knew I was on to something. I knew I had to make my program push me to higher and higher numbers!

As my routine evolved I wasn't even focused on body changes, but the day they came their was no turning back. I was become the person I always wanted to be! The little negative voice in my head stopped being so negative, and I started to believe that I could be happy without pharmaceuticals.


Everyone feel free to ask any questions you have, here or send me a private message. I'm at a point where I can be open about my history, and I would love to help others.

Small discalmer:

Don't stop taking you medication without a doctors consent.

How can you get off anti-depressants if your doctor does not agree you are ready (but you think you are)? My suggestion would be to find other doctor.



Remember just because you feel alone, does not mean you are. Start small, and try to improve just a little each day, you could very well surprise yourself (I know I did).

i started taking some medication last years, i thought i didnt need it anymore and i top taking it , but guess what?! i just found out last week that it was a mistake to top take it.. I was so down last week.

[Islandtroll]

Originally Posted by mdocruz

i started taking some medication last years, i thought i didnt need it anymore and i top taking it , but guess what?! i just found out last week that it was a mistake to top take it.. I was so down last week.

The good news is you know yourself even better now, even if it wasn't your time to stop the meds, you are now better equipped with information about you own body (which is aways a good thing). Just like bodybuilding, this journey is very personal.

You should also understand that even when I was on my meds, I didn't like the person I had become. So they never really solved my problems.

The biggest difference for me, is I really like the guy in the mirror now. Not just because of less fat and a little more muscle, but the whole package, inside and out



I'm off to do today's workout, but I will be back check on this therad soon.

[sytennison]

Originally Posted by Islandtroll

Start small, and try to improve just a little each day, you could very well surprise yourself (I know I did).

I've never been on anti-depressants, although I've had them recommended by a doctor who spent a whole five minutes diagnosing my health issues.

I think you're right on, Islandtroll. When you're depressed, lofty goals don't work. It's best to pick something small and quickly achievable. When I'm feeling blue and thinking about how miserable my life is, I clean house. No fooling! I start simple by just taking out the trash. Once the trash is gone, I start putting things away. Once everything is put away, I start sweeping and vacuuming. After an hour of this, I get a small sense of achievement that spurs me on to greater things and before I know it, my blues are a thing of the past. As a bonus, I get a clean house.

[Minotaur]

Originally Posted by Islandtroll

The good news is, I'm at the happiest point of my life, without the aid of medication.

Excellent! I'm a long way from that point. I've been only recently dxed as bipolar II, and definitely need a mood stabilizer for now, along with an anti-anxiety. This is the reason that "so many things piss me off" as someone here put it (therapist and I are working on letting things go ). But I look forward to the day I no longer need to renew the prescriptions.

Which brings us to the subject of this thread, when depressed how can you motivate yourself to climb out of the darkness?

Good or bad, I give in to the darkness and blow off my workouts, either in the gym or on the bike. My therapist tells me to push through it and drag myself through a workout if necessary. Funny thing is that if I do, I feel so much better. \/\/

[greenamphibious]

I just don't get depressed people. I think the only thing that could get me depressed to the point of meds is the loss of my children.... other than that.... eh, what else is there?

[bhaputi]

Originally Posted by greenamphibious

I just don't get depressed people. I think the only thing that could get me depressed to the point of meds is the loss of my children.... other than that.... eh, what else is there?

Wow....33 years old, and still have that attitude? Not sure if you meant it to sound as insensitive as it came out, but I guess not everyone can be as blessed as you apparently are.

[Minotaur]

Originally Posted by greenamphibious

other than that.... eh, what else is there?

Mm... imbalance in brain chemistry. The brain is an organ just like any other and is subject to chemical imbalances and failures. It's not unlike a non-functioning pancreas and diabetes; or an underactive thyroid.

[jasonv]

..is pretty much all mental. my comments are not directed at those for whom drugs are the most necessary remedy.

i can say that when i have good patterns in my life, my need for "regular mental work" vis a vis depression is significantly reduced. i've come to recognize certain "thresholds" around which my ability to live without depressive states is significantly improved.

i believe most of my depressive states are the result of negative mental thought patterns and perspectives. it's like bile in the gut, and my horizons and my viewpoints are very significantly impacted. and for me, the physical suffering (lethargy, etc) is the result of negative programming (a quick aside, as tony robbins wrote, "the easiest way to be depressed is to act depressed".. a massive oversimplification, but not without some merit).

i used self-hypnosis and cognitive behavior therapy for most of my significant gains. together with some very regular committments to fitness, i had the best transformations of my natural thought responses, inefficient motivations, ego-mania, self-destructive beliefs and eating/sleeping/moving habits.

[FREDROCKS]

Congratulations Islandtroll many go down the road but few find the way out. Keep on Keepin on-great job

[Skidmarx]

That's good news. People are soooo medicated these days, good to see someone successfully break free.

[JOHN GARGANI]

you don't realize how many people have these various problems until you see a thread like this....

chemical imbalance can complete change one's personality...a serious thing....


all meds for any condition have their side effects and naturally, we would all be better off without any, however, as with all things, there is prioritization and sometimes the main target has to take precedence over other things......


Island: maybe now you should change your screen name to something other than TROLL...lol...

like: IslandFit, or IslandGod, or whatever......get the negative out the title.

[redweston]

Originally Posted by greenamphibious

I just don't get depressed people. I think the only thing that could get me depressed to the point of meds is the loss of my children.... other than that.... eh, what else is there?

it is very diffcult for one to understand if you have never been there, i felt the same way, my son in law was having problems away at college, i'm like well kick the attuide in the ass, go up another knotch and get on with life, but after talking to him i could feel his pain, he had no idea why he was feeling the way he did, going away to a big ten college had been his dream! my self i'm very self motivated, try to kick it up for people every where i go, to out going and freindly, wtf , maybe i got a problem!!!, gotta tell ya , i always say you can look around you and see someone that is worse off, and i truly believe that!!!!
keeponpumpin-reds

[Islandtroll]

Thanks for all the positive comments!

Originally Posted by JOHN GARGANI

Island: maybe now you should change your screen name to something other than TROLL...lol...

like: IslandFit, or IslandGod, or whatever......get the negative out the title.

No way John! And here is why:

Troll represents the monster I was when at was at my lowest, basic instinct, what I had become just to survive.

Island represents paradise.

Islandtroll represents the monster becoming more than anyone knew possible, even the monster himself.

It takes each for me to be the person I was destined to be. The troll in me can live though anything, he knows how to stay alive. The island in me knows how to love, how to appreciate, and thankfully, how to relax.

[kondor]

First off, lets get the bit out of the way where i say "jeez mate, I never knew from that big grin and all that sunshine". OK thats that bit done with lol.

I am and have always been a procrastinator, when i say that I do not mean that I put things off, I mean I put everything off. Its my little bit of hell, and just as someone would shake their head in disbelief at a person who says "I am depressed" they shake there head at me and say "just do it". Basically everything from going to the toilet in the morning, to going to bed at night, is a battle with myself.

I did not know what it was for years. I always thought that it was me being me, always lazy and never doing anything on time. It gets way beyond a joke, as it really is absolutely everything in my life. I have since realized that it is quite simular to depression, it is caused by very similar things and it is I suppose a sort of expression. But in reality it makes everything a massive chore, so much so that I "give up" on most stuff that I start.

So I was thinking today as I was driving along, 8 weeks or so after I started body building I can not really imagine stopping. Why? I mean it is hard work in a way, it certainly impacts my lifestyle from having to refuse a drink due to having to lift, and making sure that my cupboards have enough good stuff in them. So why is it i have been able to accept bodybuilding so easily? Why is it that something which takes a long time is not suffering quite as much from procrastination as everything else I do in life (it does a bit, just not as much).

I think you hit the nail on the head when you put...
"the day came their was no turning back. I was become the person I always wanted to be! The little negative voice in my head stopped being so negative"

I think thats it, you see you have to be constantly positive with this game, the second you even let it slip into neutral everything shoots into reverse. There just is no standing still. Even those that have reached their goals have to set new ones, even if those new goals are maintaining it requires work. We all know that a bad day can make a bad week, a bad week can make a bad month and a bad month can make a bad year. What I mean is by standing still and eating badly for a week it could take us a month to catch back up.

So, for me also body building is teaching me a great lesson, it is curing me of a problem i have suffered with all my life.

It is teaching me that the little negative voice that always wants me to slip into neutral has to be ignored, as in reality it makes me go into reverse.

I hope I have as much success as you.

[tomdana]

That is a great post Island Troll. I applaud you for having such a positive outlook. I would like to add to what has been said for those who don't get it. Depression has a genetic link!! There are neurotransmitters, namely serotonin, that are not produced by some people to keep depression at bay. Anyone with depressoin need only look to the immediate family and see the same symptoms. The medications often aim to increase serotonin by decreasing its metabolism. I am sure that exercise has some effect directly or indirectly. We know the endorphin release we all experience. Many patients who are able to get to a point they can engage life again see vast improvements when they can accomplish goals such as fitness.

Take care to all.

[Samraiwise]

This is shedding light on dark and lonely places of one's mind and letting us(including me) be reminded of not giving up any hope. Thank you for sharing this with us. I think there are a lot of people here who could be benefited by reading this thread.

[greenamphibious]

like I said I just don't understand. Lost my job, been broke..... never been depressed though. Jus tlike suicide.... can't think of anything that would get me to that point. Not trying to be insensative to anyone..... I just don't get it.

Originally Posted by redweston

i always say you can look around you and see someone that is worse off, and i truly believe that!!!!
keeponpumpin-reds

EXACTLY!!!!

[bhaputi]

Originally Posted by greenamphibious

like I said I just don't understand. Lost my job, been broke..... never been depressed though. Jus tlike suicide.... can't think of anything that would get me to that point. Not trying to be insensative to anyone..... I just don't get it.



EXACTLY!!!!

Then you should really be glad you can say this. Although I have never been depressed, I am very close to some people that have, and still do, suffer with and battle depression. They are not whiny, do not want it that way, and are not simply refusing to see the sunny side of life. They have a genuine medical condition that needs to be treated, sometimes with meds - sometimes without.

[Minotaur]

Originally Posted by greenamphibious

like I said I just don't understand. Lost my job, been broke..... never been depressed though. Jus tlike suicide.... can't think of anything that would get me to that point.

And pray you never do. Not a nice place to be.

[Minotaur]

Originally Posted by bhaputi

They are not whiny, do not want it that way, and are not simply refusing to see the sunny side of life. They have a genuine medical condition that needs to be treated, sometimes with meds - sometimes without.

Such insight!

I explained to my pdoc (shrink) and therapist that when I am like that, it's like I am looking at someone else and watching the event. I know what's happening, I do not want it happening, but I cannot stop it. It's out of my control, whether it's being curled up in a fetal position in bed or in a rage that makes me fear I will hurt something or someone (at that point I don't care if it's me, just no one else). Only with time does it wear off and I am back to my regular self. It's horrible.

[poacher]

Been married going on 20 years. 4 years ago wife pregnant . I had just bought out the the company I worked for. A client went bank rup on me. Put me out of business. Baby on the way no job wife working pregnat and not happy. I was looking for the bridge. I turned it over to God and he delivered. Now I have a great job I love, My wife[ i love] is able to be a stay at home mother and for the first time I have peace. I'm not a preacher but I do know God numbered the hairs on your head. He has a plan for you and it is a good plan. Poacher

[sytennison]

Originally Posted by Minotaur

And pray you never do. Not a nice place to be.

Yup. I have one friend who spent a while homeless because of his mental illness. I have another who has tried to commit suicide about a half-dozen times. The first guy was able to get off the streets, got treatment, and is now a computer programmer working on his engineering degree. The second guy is just barely holding it together and if it wasn't for his meds he'd be a gonner. When he's not in a funk, this guy is a truely wonderful, generous, and intelligent person who gives a lot to his community and has been a friend and mentor to me personally.

I get depressed myself and have been told a couple of times that I might do better with meds, but I'm functional enough and stubborn enough to have avoided that route so far, hopefully for the best. I know for sure that other folks, like my two friends, have much larger and scarier monsters to deal with than I have. God bless them. As my first friend likes to say, "Mental illness sucks!"

[bhaputi]

Originally Posted by Minotaur

Such insight!

I explained to my pdoc (shrink) and therapist that when I am like that, it's like I am looking at someone else and watching the event. I know what's happening, I do not want it happening, but I cannot stop it. It's out of my control, whether it's being curled up in a fetal position in bed or in a rage that makes me fear I will hurt something or someone (at that point I don't care if it's me, just no one else). Only with time does it wear off and I am back to my regular self. It's horrible.

According to one of those close to me affected by this, it seems control is the key. They have told me they simply do not feel in control of anything at all when they are battling this. I think I can understand what that means, and am very glad that I do not have this same battle to fight, as I am not sure I would be strong enough to win. Keep battling

[greenamphibious]

blessings counted then I guess

[hotdamnman]

Originally Posted by Minotaur

I explained to my pdoc (shrink) and therapist that when I am like that, it's like I am looking at someone else and watching the event. I know what's happening, I do not want it happening, but I cannot stop it. It's out of my control, whether it's being curled up in a fetal position in bed or in a rage that makes me fear I will hurt something or someone (at that point I don't care if it's me, just no one else). Only with time does it wear off and I am back to my regular self. It's horrible.

I totally understand this. Been on meds for 3 yrs, gave me the strength to get out of a bad marriage, say bye to the bottle and move up at work. Took a very close call to see the Doc about it, but it was the best move I ever made.

[Minotaur]

Congratz.

One day I may be able to get off the meds., but maybe not. And this is just the beginning of treatment. As I said to someone else, as long as I can control this and it doesn't control me and the meds don't have any weird side effects (so far so good), I'm OK with the meds.

[Islandtroll]

Wow so much sharing going on here, so interesting! Thanks to each of you, the more information the better I say.

I also want to thank everyone that sent me the private messages, I won't single anyone out (that's why they are private ) but I do want to address a few things.

This wasn't some kind of hidden cry for help, I'm NOT suicidal, or anywhere close. I really am at the happiest point of my life Thank you for asking, cause you never know.

Next I want everyone to understand, that you can be depressed anywhere. Yes even in Hawaii

Does living here help me? You bet! With each sunrise I wake with a feeling of joy at seeing the beauty around me. I'm in love with Maui, and she returns that love. But, please note that it was no accident, in fact it was all part of a plan. A plan that has been over sixteen years in the making. Even now I have a very established idea of where my life is going, and how I'm going to get there.

I also what everyone to know that my before pics don't show the whole story. My weight was over 250 at one point, I'm not even sure how high it went, because I stopped checking. This wasn't a case of a little fat covering little muscle, this was a lot of fat covering almost no muscle. There are no pics from then, because even taking my shirt off was a huge deal, let alone letting someone take a photo.

Lastly Minotaur hit on something I want those who have to anxiety and depression issues to understand. If you are reading this you are already better off then you may even know. At my lowest I was not only curled up in the fetal position, I was in a locked house, in a locked bedroom, in the back of the closet, terrified of life.

You on the other hand are here reading how to better yourself, this isn't the end to a sad story, this is the beginning of a happy one! There is hope, you are not alone, you CAN do it. Right now set a small goal, and just try. If you don't accomplish it, forgive yourself, and try again tomorrow.

My first goal was to simply take our dog for a walk

[biggaz]

Island Troll, I read your post just after you opened it and didn,t reply. Sorry should have. I've been there on more than one occasion, so know where you,ve been. Glad so hear you,re good now.

Reading some of the later posts made me a little angry, people who haven,t been in that deep, dark place just can,t understand where it is.

I never went on meds, luckily I had some real good friends who came to me, day and night and dug me out, wouldn,t accept no for an answer.

I now carry a small tattoo, which we all had done after I "got better", that reminds me, every day, that no matter how bad things get, I don,t, ever, let them down, they,re there for me.

We all cope in different ways and its great to hear that someone else has beat the demon.

[kenjen]

although i have never been that far gone i have visited my own dark places a couple of times. But if i didn't go there i wouldn't of become the person i am now.