The Experiment Crunk Chronicles Part 1

[The Experiment]

I'm going to write a blog on here because apparently its the new cool thing to do, that and make cheap ripoffs of Tucker Max that are so bad that they are like the Brian Peppers of blogs.

As I said before, my source last week said it would be the last stuff. To this day, I'm still depressed. So what do I do whenever I feel depressed? Get laid my crackers. I measured my arms and now they are slightly /)(\ over 21". Hell yeah. So I was even more motivated to get a piece. So I stripped down to my neon green contest briefs, rounded up the satellites, and left.

Believe it or not, there is still college going on. There was a big frat party so I parked my tricked out Escalade in front. Driveways are for pussies. So we walk in and find a disgusting sight: dozens of hotties all up on packs upon packs of Abercrombies. Urgh. So this Abercrombie walks up and tells me I'm not allowed but the satellites are. Pssh. As if the satellites want to be with a pack of Abercrombies who think they are tough **** because daddy bought them new cars. I threw him out of the way, in which his "1892" shirt was torn. He started crying. What a pussy.

Speaking of pussy, right away, three chicks walked up to me and started grinding on me. They were fat; their asses were wider than my quads and no, thats not a good thing. I had my satellite knowledgeable in ninja skills, kick her ass. I saw a 10 who was getting hit on (poorly I might add) by an Abercrombie who apparently in retrospect was the President. I walked up closer to hear what he was telling her:

"You know, my dad, he totally owns this dealership..."
"Oh, thats nice" (her eyes rolled)
"You are so beautiful, I never say this to anyone before."
"Oh, really" (nervous laughter, followed by frenetic looks to see someone better. Our eyes match. She smiles as her way of motioning me to step in. I'm alpha, bitch. So I let him work his heh, "game" on her)
"So, I was wondering if you'd like to go with me to the game tomorrow. I'll even pay for you."
"Uh, sure, I guess."
"Omigod, you are soooo awesome. Do you want to go to my room?"
"No thanks."

I had to step in. I pushed the Abercrombie off of the chair and sat in it. She looked pissed but horny.

"Thanks for leaving me hanging."
"You should have ****ed him. I bet he'll marry you and pay for everything so you can bang other men."
"Thats a good idea."
"Screw him. How about we go out back."

She ran out back. She had a great rump. My dick will be seeing it up close and personal. She stripped down (which wasn't much) and I pulled down the briefs. She was dripping wet. I slid the beast in there and gave her a hard pounding. She tried to let out some moans but my cock was too big a force to let her. I was doing her right for a few minutes when my watch beeped. Uh-oh. Protein time. I had a gym bag there (always have that) and opened it up. I had a bag of Dymatize Elite whey. I had a water bottle. It would have to make do.

Then again, could I pound her brains out while mixing a shake? I was about to find out. I started mixing and of course, the rhythm was messed up. She looked back and was pissed.

"What are you doing?"
"None of your damn business."
"Don't be taking your steroids while ****ing me."

That settled it. I had to get her back:

The Test told me to **** her brains out
The Tren was telling me to beat her ass
The Brain had a much better idea.

I pounded her ******* to her surprise (she loved it) and was ready to cum. So she lines up for the blow and boom, shot a 30 roper right across her eyes. Her face was coated with my essence. She started cursing me out but I was too busy laughing and consuming my shake to care. I took her clothes away and threw him. I look back after throwing them away to find a naked, red vagina'd, red assed, and baby batter coated faced girl stumbling around. I had more important **** to worry about.

I walk in and there's a 12 girl orgy with my three satellites. One of the frat boys was a bodybuilder so we discussed routines, lifts, eating, and supplements while these girls were exploring the inner depths of each other's vaginas. Even better was that he gave me the name and number of his source. Can't get better than that. Oh wait, it does.

I turn around and see the girl. She must have been given a blanket and someone took care of her. It was the President.

"I am the President and I ask that you leave."
"Or else what?"
"We'll kick your steroid ridden ass."

I laughed in their faces and told the satellites to come with me. The President told them to stay. I picked him up over my head. The door was crowded with puds trying to get tang. I wanted to leave in style. So I threw the President into the crowd. Cleared up nice for me and the satellites to move out. We walked out, waving g'bye to the frat house. We got in and drove off.

Looking back, I wondered how I could have handled it differently. Why did I **** one girl? My average is 3.22323902332 girls a party. Depressed, I had a satellite give me road head as I drove off into the night.

[~Q~]

its funny because its true