The social truth about being fat.

[skelooth]

I feel like rambling and writing. This is my own experiences, you can disagree if you like, but I feel it is all truth.

When you are seriously obese, Americans reject you socially.... in almost every aspect.

No one wants to hire a big fat person for a well paying job. Mostly because being fat portrays and image of being lazy.. but also because your potential coworkers do not want to be around a big fat person all day! You might look great on your resume, but you are going to choke and burn at the interview if your pant size is over 44". On the flip side, if you are thin and fit, people will be more inclined to hire you, because being fit portrays an aura of productivity and general health.

Girls do NOT like fat men. Time and time again we hear it said that it's personality that counts, how you carry yourself, etc. I call bull**** on that. Women have no desire to be with a fat man... and the ones who do are either fat themselves, or have some mental illness that causes them to feel that way. C'mon folks, let's be realistic about this...

People will intentionally sit away from you in social situations. If you are fat and sit down to eat by yourself in a cafeteria, people will be naturally inclined to sit further from you rather than closer. I think on a subconcious level it is because they are scared you are going to steal their food.

People will make fun of you being fat. I see it all the time. Once I lost a lot of weight I found out just how bad the frequency of it is. If you are fat, chances are, people are making fun of you a good 2 or 3 times a day and you don't even know it.

furniture was not made for fat people. You will be uncomfortable sitting in normal sized furniture such as certain movie theatres and booths at diners.

People automatically elevate themselves above you and consider you inferior for being fat. It is much harder to gain a person's respect.

This list could go on and on forever, but I'm sure you see where I'm going with this. I'm pretty sure that other people who have lost a lot of weight would be able to relate to what I'm trying to portray here. This american culture makes me sick, we are the fattest population in the world, yet most american's spend their time sitting around watching perfect bodies and models all day long on TV. We live in a society of hippocracy.

[chlaxman]

Yeah you're right on there. When I lost a lot of weight in hs, I suddenly had a ton of girls wanted to hang out with me and talk to me. Of course they had never wanted to before, even though my personality barely changed (it's high school so of course it changed some). It's really amazing that such a change can really change the way people think about you and act around you. It's pretty sad actually.

[nithos]

I think it also depends on your geographic location. Being from the midwest (where everyone is packing a couple extra pounds), I didn't see a large amount of descrimination. However, I definately wasn't getting the cat calls that I get coming in 45 pounds lighter. I am not even that lean compared to most on the board.

[TACO REBORN]

meh im not sure about that... ive been fit my whole life... i dont go out of my way and make fun of fat people... **** always sit next to a fat ugly person before a attractive person... i dont know thats just what i do it's weird.. and i see girls talking to fat guys before they talk to me (handsome and ripped) but the thing is how can someone get morbily obese like that... it seems like you have to try to get fat... day in and day out of overeaing and eating the wrong stuff... doesnt make sense.... rant over

[dapper]

How do people get fat like that. Well yes they do over eat, and yes they are usually not that active and it is their own fault. What I will say though is I got out of the hospital and I weighed 196 lbs. This past saturday I weighed in at 200 lbs. Now when I left the hospital I started eating around 1600-1800 calories a day. Chicken, salads, Natural peanut butter, sugar free jam, sugar free 100% whole grain wheat bread, green beans, oatmeal, egg whites. I also lifted 4 days a week and walked on the treadmill at least 30 min a time 3 days a week. Now I lift 5 days a week and walk 5 to 7 days a week 30-45 min walking each time. I am also a diabetic.

*Breakfast*
Oatmeal
Protein drink

Meal #2
3 pieces chicken tenderloin approx 30 grams protein

Meal #3
2 slices sugar free 100% whole grain wheat bread
1 TBSP natural peanut butter
1 TBSP sugar free strawberry jam
1 serving Danon Carb Control Yogurt
1 serving Granny Smith no sugar added applesauce

Meal #4
3 pieces chicken tenderloin approx 30 grams protein

Meal #5
Cyto Gainer 1/2 serving (approx 1 hour before I go workout)

Meal #6
Boneless, skinless chicken (tyson) approx 34 grams protein
mixed vegatables 1/2 to 1 cup or green beans, or string beans, or shellie beans
small baked potato or sweet potato
salad with 1 TBSP exta virgin Olive Oil and 1 TBSP Red Wine Vinegar, 1 TBSP grated Parmeasian cheese and some Mrs. Dash

I might have some hot air popped popcorn around 9 to 9:30 but maybe not.

Now with all that I can't lose any weight. I know I could be adding muscle so I try not to worry about what the scales say. But I notice no difference in my clothes and the way they fit. I take pics every month and measurements and no difference.

I really don't know what else to do. I keep working hard but it sometimes seems for no reason.

I am a single father as well, so I come home from work and I have to cook supper for everyone plus I cook meals #2 and #3. I clean the dishes and all the other stuff. So it's not like I am sitting in front of the TV all evening either. I usually can't get to bed till midnight or 1am before everything is done.

[Badfrog]

Originally Posted by skelooth

Girls do NOT like fat men. Time and time again we hear it said that it's personality that counts, how you carry yourself, etc. I call bull**** on that. Women have no desire to be with a fat man... and the ones who do are either fat themselves, or have some mental illness that causes them to feel that way. C'mon folks, let's be realistic about this...

Lets be honest, I don't day dream about "big" "heavy" or "fat" girls so I sure wouldn't expect a girl to day dream about someone like myself. In 2000 I did an internship and one of the girls there was overweight. Never really talked to her yadda yadda. Next year I come back and I see this chick that is flat out hot (woulda nailed her, not that she would've let me lol). Took me about a day or two to realize who she was the same girl. My guess is that my responses to her looks is the same as probably 90%+ all the straight guys out there. I can't blame women for being the same way.

[born]

I think skelooth and I are on the same wavelenght, on the flipside I have a very beautiful girlfriend who started dating me when I was my fattest, maybe I'm lucky. But I'm going to get ripped and I'm going to **** the **** out of a handful of the girls I went to school with just to spite them. (and make myself feel better for that minute or so while I give them a facial) /rant

[skelooth]

Originally Posted by born

I think skelooth and I are on the same wavelenght, on the flipside I have a very beautiful girlfriend who started dating me when I was my fattest, maybe I'm lucky. But I'm going to get ripped and I'm going to **** the **** out of a handful of the girls I went to school with just to spite them. (and make myself feel better for that minute or so while I give them a facial) /rant

Amen brother. The only difference is that I've been celibate for like 4-5 months lol

[TAR68]

I agree with this post 100%. Reps to you.

[MonarchX]

Is that just for people who are big and fat?

I am very tall and lean, and..fat, but in a shirt I look very fit. I hope that doesn't turn people off!

[GetImpact]

Much truth in you, Skelooth.

Though I have to add that *most* obese people deserve at least a little of that rejection you talk about. It is very much our animal instinct to judge character (at least in part) by the shape of the person before us. Obesity and frumpiness that occurs as a matter of behavior and lifestyle bares witness to some weakness of the character. No getting around that. Enough with the excuses!

As much as we would like to stand above our animal impulses and NOT judge folks by their appearance, that would go against our very nature. Fit people are simply better prepared to survive the rigors when they come, and that is a fine and sometimes necessary quality in a person.

Let me tell you that I let myself get obese as I approached middle age, and I did indeed deserve much of the rejection I felt, because... I had become an indolent shadow of my former self when I could have clearly avoided it. Becoming overly fat was 100% my fault and a poor refection on my character, as it is for *most* people who find themselves in that place.

What many Americans do not realize is that our most sought-after Comforts, Conveniences and Satisfactions are also our worst enemies. We were built to perservere under the stressful effort to survive and to thrive, and now that such impetus has been removed for so many of us, we have let ourselves lapse into states of incredible weakness.

IMO, obese people who can do something about it (that means most of us!), and still fail, deserve a count against them in the character dept. However, that doesn't mean that we should automatically assess their whole person as sub-par. They may have many good attributes that are worth getting to know. So, to reject them out-of-hand is to deny ourselves opportunity.

Most of my friends, BTW, have clearly settled into obesity with age. Scary how common that is these days. Coming from where they are now, I hope to set a positive example for them to follow... and if they start down this road with me they will be healthier, stronger people for it. Already, I have one of them starting to take this path beside me, and I can see their outlook brightening.

[alextimman]

Originally Posted by born

I think skelooth and I are on the same wavelenght, on the flipside I have a very beautiful girlfriend who started dating me when I was my fattest, maybe I'm lucky. But I'm going to get ripped and I'm going to **** the **** out of a handful of the girls I went to school with just to spite them. (and make myself feel better for that minute or so while I give them a facial) /rant

The best looking girl I've ever dated (not that I'm a pimp who dated hundreds of girls) was also in the period that I was ~25-30% bf, now I'm ~15% bf look alot better but have less dates actually, maybe its due I changed skools and I'm on a skool with 52 people now:P...

[ericTHEninja]

Originally Posted by chlaxman

Yeah you're right on there. When I lost a lot of weight in hs, I suddenly had a ton of girls wanted to hang out with me and talk to me. Of course they had never wanted to before, even though my personality barely changed (it's high school so of course it changed some). It's really amazing that such a change can really change the way people think about you and act around you. It's pretty sad actually.

I completely agree. I hadn't worn a t-shirt in front of my best friend for maybe 9-10 months right after I changed my diet and finished bulking. I won't make any move on any girl who says "you're like my brother" for my own personal reasons, but she sees a picture of me from a party w/my shirt off and all of the sudden it's holy **** and my obsession w/the gym is now the topic of conversation at random, her mom knows, and I show up at a grad party and she says something w/in 30 sec of being there and I get comments the next day while swimming. I'm not going to say I don't appreciate the compliments, though Also, I changed how I dress and then everything completely changes when I go out. It's uncanny (and sorta scary).

[gutcheck]

totally agree skelooth.

However, having been to the UK quite a bit, I'm not sure America is the fattest out there. Maybe. Tough race.

[US_Ranger]

Western Europe will catch America in fatness eventually because they're getting all the fast food over there now and they consume a lot of alcohol at a young age. The thing keeping them skinnier is the fact that you can't drive a lot of over there at 5 bucks a gallon so people walk their asses off.

Anyway, about obese thing.....you have to try to be extremely fat. You can't be really really really fat unless you seriously sit around ALL day and don't do ****. That's why people look down on REALLY fat people.....because you ARE lazy.

You can be overweight and be non-lazy and productive....but to be crazy fat to the point of ridiculousness....you gotta be lazy....unless you have some medical problem....and obesity isn't a medical problem, get over that **** and improve yourself.

[lifequest]

Well theirs a bunch of info on this on “the big fat blog” : http://www.bigfatblog.com/

a quote to back up skel:

A small online poll found that 25% of human resource execs admitted weight had a role in their hiring decisions. Another 35% suggested it might, on a subconscious level. Scary to think that 60% of those surveyed ultimately thought it was fine to judge a person on one's size, isn't it?”

There was a whole show on this on the discovery channel that I got sucked into watching…I think the scariest study they did was on children in kindergarten. They gave them 10 cards will different pictures of other kids on them. A white kid, and asian, and African, Mexican, Eskimo…and a smiling fat white kid, among others.

They asked the children to place the cards in order of who they would most like to be friends with. Most of the time the child chose the picture that looked most like them as number one and it varied from there but without fail the fat kid was dead last. The tester would then ask why they put them in that order.

The kids said things like “he is fat, and he is lazy so I wouldn’t want to be his friend.”

“He doesn’t seem nice”

scary sh*t to think even at 5 years old we hate fat people…

[chlaxman]

Originally Posted by born

I think skelooth and I are on the same wavelenght, on the flipside I have a very beautiful girlfriend who started dating me when I was my fattest, maybe I'm lucky. But I'm going to get ripped and I'm going to **** the **** out of a handful of the girls I went to school with just to spite them. (and make myself feel better for that minute or so while I give them a facial) /rant

I would avoid doing that you can make some big mistakes doing that, trust me.

[Badfrog]

I will many times find fat people to be irresponsible (but I won't stereotype). Can't tell you how many I've seen/heard them say "But I've tried every diet" "It's a thyroid problem". Most of it is BS. Many diets work. You just need willpower to carry them thru. And to blame it on a physical problem without a doctor's diagnosis is silly. Own up to what you've done. I know I have and I'll admit it's all my fault. I think that first step would help a lot of people on the road to weightloss.

[super D]

Originally Posted by skelooth

We live in a society of hippocracy.

You spelled hypocrisy wrong:-)

Try 300 years of that crap! I'm a "Black American"......I can't even use my given African name(Dia) without consequences.

Interesting treatise "skelooth"....To give a "out the box" critical thought to this subject I would blame "western Christianity" for some of this madness. Here me out>
Part of Americas bourgeosie seperate socialization process derived from the teachings of the Colonial Church thru Roman Cathlicism and Protestantism by European missionaries and as reflected in Catechetiacla structural/institutional practices and polices. These Christian bourgeoisie practices were implemented to stress the complete separation between earthly existence an and heavenly reward.....earthly existence, in the context of bad or good social habits, appearances, attractiveness etc...Heavenly reward, in the context of shaping yourself within the human social order of the Coloninal Church, your pathway to emancipation to higher life would be justified...... so instead of openess, acceptance, and understanding of the masses, Americans have chosen to except what is normal by standards based on Western Christian colonialization of the masses directed and edified by practices of neo-colonization missionary bourgeosie giants of today.

[eddied27]

I agree with Skelooth about being fat. Since childhood, I've experienced all of what you wrote and more. I wouldn't necessarily apply to all people in society but if you just look around, you know that lean, trim and in shape is more socially acceptable. Fitness wouldn't be a multi-billion dollar business if that wasn't the case.

Funny thing about when I really first got thin and in shape back in 2001-2002...as much as some people would tell me that I needed to lose weight (was 287; got down to 202 at the time)...those same people would tell me i was too THIN when I got down to 202.

That being said...what doesn't get talked about enough is the mental/emotional aspect of weight gain/loss/problems/lifestyle, etc. We can all strive for that "look" but if we don't do some of the other work, chances are that "roller coaster" will keep a steady path. At least that's what I've found lately in my weight loss and nutrition approach. A good, sound approach to the mental side of all this, coupled with good nutrition and excercise, will give you the best possible chance. IMO...without the work upstairs, anything you do downstairs will never be enough.

[KingOfChaos]

Originally Posted by chlaxman

Yeah you're right on there. When I lost a lot of weight in hs, I suddenly had a ton of girls wanted to hang out with me and talk to me. Of course they had never wanted to before, even though my personality barely changed (it's high school so of course it changed some). It's really amazing that such a change can really change the way people think about you and act around you. It's pretty sad actually.

Had that been me and the girls were those I knew had made fun of me while being big I would have told them to step off and get lost. J

[KingOfChaos]

What I love is the irony of racism and discrimination in general. Its perfectly okay to make fun of a fat person, make their lives a living hell for years on end, but if you make a comment about a person's race or mental status and people are ready to linch your ass from a tree like you committed murder or something.

I myself am not racist. In fact, I prefer women of other races most of the time (especially hispanic and oriental..woof ^_^). However, this two faced idiocy where its perfectly find to **** with someone because they're fat and not because they're black, asian, etc. is bull **** that needs to stop. You cannot accept one type of discrimination and hate another..it does and SHOULD NOT work like that.

As far as women go, I have to agree with Skelooth based on experience. Women can hee and haw about how they pick men based on their personality and not their looks but we all know its bull****. If you're overweight, you might as well possess more than one arm or sport an extra head because you're going to be treated like a circus freak by the opposite sex.

Personally, I have never had a girlfriend or a girl that was just a friend. I have 'acquaintances' with certain women because they're friends with my sister, but that is all. I have never been on a date. I could probably get one now, the way I am, but I had rather work more on fixing myself before going out and dealing with someone else's emotional baggage.

[TACO REBORN]

sorry but its more socially acceptable to make fun of a short mans height.... i have girls saying im sort and this and that but i cant say "so ur fat"... trust me ive done it and all i got was them bitching..... fat people have the ability to not be so damn fat... but people like me cant help but be short... but for some reason it's ok for people to call me a midget or short stop.

[KingOfChaos]

Originally Posted by TACO REBORN

sorry but its more socially acceptable to make fun of a short mans height.... i have girls saying im sort and this and that but i cant say "so ur fat"... trust me ive done it and all i got was them bitching..... fat people have the ability to not be so damn fat... but people like me cant help but be short... but for some reason it's ok for people to call me a midget or short stop.

My point is it isn't okay for them to make fun of you. ALL discrimination is wrong, whether your short or fat or have 10 eyes.

[lifequest]

Originally Posted by KingOfChaos

What I love is the irony of racism and discrimination in general. Its perfectly okay to make fun of a fat person, make their lives a living hell for years on end, but if you make a comment about a person's race or mental status and people are ready to linch your ass from a tree like you committed murder or something.

I myself am not racist. In fact, I prefer women of other races most of the time (especially hispanic and oriental..woof ^_^). However, this two faced idiocy where its perfectly find to **** with someone because they're fat and not because they're black, asian, etc. is bull **** that needs to stop. You cannot accept one type of discrimination and hate another..it does and SHOULD NOT work like that.

As far as women go, I have to agree with Skelooth based on experience. Women can hee and haw about how they pick men based on their personality and not their looks but we all know its bull****. If you're overweight, you might as well possess more than one arm or sport an extra head because you're going to be treated like a circus freak by the opposite sex.

Personally, I have never had a girlfriend or a girl that was just a friend. I have 'acquaintances' with certain women because they're friends with my sister, but that is all. I have never been on a date. I could probably get one now, the way I am, but I had rather work more on fixing myself before going out and dealing with someone else's emotional baggage.

Lets look at it from another angle…smokers

Whenever someone sees a friend smoke they automatically turn into a psycho…

“OMG do you know what that does to your body!??!”
“you know your slowly killing yourself??!?!”
“that’s a disgusting habit”
“why would you smoke?? There’s nothing to gain from it but a short-lived high!!”
“have you not read the heath risk involved with smoking!??!”

And all of this is great and true and totally acceptable(unless yoru the poor smoker that gets b*tched at 24/7), you should tell your friend these things and after training people from near birth in DARE education and health class and strict law against cigarettes there are now signs of improvements

Now…every thing I said above can be said about obesity…re-read them.

“OMG do you know what that does to your body!??!”
“you know your slowly killing yourself??!?!”
“that’s a disgusting habit”
“why would you over eat/eat unhealthy?? There’s nothing to gain from it but a short-lived high!!”
“have you not read the heath risk involved with obesity!??!”

But if you ever said something like that to a fat person you would ether make them cry or be labeled as a complete ass. When really IMO over eating is as much a chose as Smoking and just as difficult to quit yet many more people are quitting smoking and more and more people are getting fatter(I guess all we need is a fat patch and we’d be set…)

It is completely retarded. And the worst part is that childhood obesity is the number that really starting to clime. Just something to think about…

[Stand Ablaze]

The difference with smoking is that it doesn't create very ugly and bulging blubber around the midsection

Not going against anyones post, everyone has had good points so far, just thought I would add a reply untill I can think of a big one to type up.

[GetImpact]

Originally Posted by KingOfChaos

...What I love is the irony of racism and discrimination in general. Its perfectly okay to make fun of a fat person, make their lives a living hell for years on end, but if you make a comment about a person's race or mental status and people are ready to linch your ass from a tree like you committed murder or something...

You make a good point.

People can't help what race they were born. And racism REALLY IS WRONG. Any halfway logical person can deduce that much. Nor can people usually help how tall they will grow or how their intellectual capability turns out. So I wouldn't presume to judge someone's character based on those sorts of things, because they are not "wrong"... they just are what they are.

However... nearly EVERYONE can stop sitting on their @sses eating bonbons. It is only a matter of willpower. Either you have that strength of character, or you don't. And if someone has weaknesses, then you really should take that into consideration when you are 'choosing teams' in life.

Life ain't fair and never was, and not everyone deserves to win just because they happen to exist.

I won't excuse people for being obese, but I also won't give them a hard time about it. I am literally surrounded by very fat people who can easily do something about it... which would mean denying themselves the pleasure they get out of gluttany. Instead, I've chosen to practice my ethic and let the results speak for themselves.

Like I said, I am coming from being obese (was 35% BF). 100% my fault for sucking down way more food than I needed just for the pleasure of it (or to avoid feelings of hunger) and... for turning into a physically lazy POS. Most obese people fall into this catagory with few exceptions. Should we call it "OK" or "just natural" and even embrace it as a good thing? I sure don't think so.

Obesity is NOT a positive quality any way you want to look at it, and it sure as hell ain't the way most people were born to be.

[waj787]

I agree that any type of discrimination is wrong, be it regarding a person's race or weight or whatever.

However, as someone else has already pointed out, it is in our instincts to pick a mate who you can see is physically well formed. It's in the nature of other animals and insects too. Females tend to choose the larger and more dominant males in nature.

This isn't discrimination, it's a simple fact. This is also why in the experiment with the children that someone mentioned, the children did not pick the fat kid. It's in our genes!

[SuperAmmo]

Originally Posted by ericTHEninja

I completely agree. I hadn't worn a t-shirt in front of my best friend for maybe 9-10 months right after I changed my diet and finished bulking. I won't make any move on any girl who says "you're like my brother" for my own personal reasons, but she sees a picture of me from a party w/my shirt off and all of the sudden it's holy **** and my obsession w/the gym is now the topic of conversation at random, her mom knows, and I show up at a grad party and she says something w/in 30 sec of being there and I get comments the next day while swimming. I'm not going to say I don't appreciate the compliments, though Also, I changed how I dress and then everything completely changes when I go out. It's uncanny (and sorta scary).

Same deal with me. I was never super-fat except for elementary school before my body had the chance to develop. I went from being a flabby fat kid to a strong overweight kid before ever picking up a weight. Once I hit the weights I became a super-strong chunky guy. I had a small double chin and a pretty round face but people constantly told me I wasn't fat. During senior year football season the double chin got bigger while I was injured (no practice + inability to run + very high calorie team dinners = weight gain).

Football season ended, I ballooned from 205 to 215+ after new years (a night of General Tao's chicken, fried rice, pizza and tons of alcohol left me feeling HUGE).

Bottom line, I wasn't huge, but big enough to hurt my social status (at least among the females).

Then I lost 55 lbs (not the "right way" but I didn't care), and life is awesome. Sometimes I can hear girls whispering to each other over how good I look.

It's true, but I have to say after doing what I did, I know that anyone can lose weight if they eat right and exercise, so it's all a matter of cutting back portions and getting on the treadmill, as far as I'm concerned.

[Mister_A]

I agree with everything the first poster said.

Here's a couple words to sum it up: "Being Fat Sucks"

I was fat my whole life and now realize I pretty much wasted so much time and could have been doing so many more fun things with my life.

So to all the over weight people out there: Set some goals and lose weight. It's not really THAT hard. If I can do it you can do it.