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06-18-2005, 02:07 PM
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#1
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LATman! To the rescue
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sulphur, Louisiana, United States
Age: 26
Posts: 2,163
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 5213
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I Farted all over my Masseuse!
I went to get a full body massage just yesterday; it was great but prolly not for her. I just recently upped my protein quit a bit and i have been having the most rank fart ever. The one's that are warm and sting a little when they come out. The one's you have to let out very slowly or you WILL shat yourself.
Well she's all gettin' my back and during that 15min. on my back i must have farted like 10-15 literally  ....Then she got to my legs and her face was more close to my arse, then she pushed up on my butt cheeks and i couldn't help myself...one just came flaring out like a raw egg expelling from a corpse's mouth....i mean it was nasty...well i new she smelt that one....right afterwards i heard her coff then she excused her self....when she left i just busted out laughing. She had this smile on her face when she came in, but i just sat there acting like nothing ever happend...
She got back into it, and i kept rippin' em out...then i asked her what that god awful smell was  ....she looked at me and laughed, i said no seriously what the hell is that....is it the person next door or something...she didnt answer...but damn if you could just have been there, in my shoes....you would have had a grand ol' time....
Oh yeah, when i flipped over she was massaging my upper thigh, and i couldnt control myself....it just stood at attention....and she kept rubbin'...now; that and my farting just made it all too weird....good times, good times....
__________________
FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
"Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret."
"Evil can only be conquered by good men doing nothing."
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06-18-2005, 02:09 PM
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#2
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 101
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lmfao.
Those are 2 of my biggest fears when getting a massage.
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06-18-2005, 02:13 PM
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#3
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Are You Aware Founder
Join Date: May 2005
Age: 17
Posts: 5,422
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LOL, they don't seem to be fears for him!
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06-18-2005, 02:14 PM
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#4
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 131
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I like the way he puts a proud smiley face on the title of this thread!
__________________
I Love You
I always have and I always will...
"Listerine the Official Mouthwash of BB.Com"
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06-18-2005, 02:14 PM
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#5
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LATman! To the rescue
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sulphur, Louisiana, United States
Age: 26
Posts: 2,163
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 5213
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by IntensePump
lmfao.
Those are 2 of my biggest fears when getting a massage.
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It was my first full body massage too.....i laughed, i cried, and i even got mad 
__________________
FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
"Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret."
"Evil can only be conquered by good men doing nothing."
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06-18-2005, 02:16 PM
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#6
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Fuctional Strength Traine
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: chicago
Age: 19
Posts: 120
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 70
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WTF...i smell sumthing too!! WTF IS THAT GOD Awafull smell. Sumthing is funny around here...this post must be bullsh.t
__________________
"I am here to serve all belivers"- Runningbackiler the Fuctional Strength Athlete
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06-18-2005, 02:17 PM
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#7
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Banned
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 7,522
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 225
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by DRU1
I went to get a full body massage just yesterday; it was great but prolly not for her. I just recently upped my protein quit a bit and i have been having the most rank fart ever. The one's that are warm and sting a little when they come out. The one's you have to let out very slowly or you WILL shat yourself.
Well she's all gettin' my back and during that 15min. on my back i must have farted like 10-15 literally ....Then she got to my legs and her face was more close to my arse, then she pushed up on my butt cheeks and i couldn't help myself...one just came flaring out like a raw egg expelling from a corpse's mouth....i mean it was nasty...well i new she smelt that one....right afterwards i heard her coff then she excused her self....when she left i just busted out laughing. She had this smile on her face when she came in, but i just sat there acting like nothing ever happend...
She got back into it, and i kept rippin' em out...then i asked her what that god awful smell was ....she looked at me and laughed, i said no seriously what the hell is that....is it the person next door or something...she didnt answer...but damn if you could just have been there, in my shoes....you would have had a grand ol' time....
Oh yeah, when i flipped over she was massaging my upper thigh, and i couldnt control myself....it just stood at attention....and she kept rubbin'...now; that and my farting just made it all too weird....good times, good times.... |
lmfao
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06-18-2005, 02:26 PM
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#8
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LATman! To the rescue
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sulphur, Louisiana, United States
Age: 26
Posts: 2,163
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 5213
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Runningbackiler
WTF...i smell sumthing too!! WTF IS THAT GOD Awafull smell. Sumthing is funny around here...this post must be bullsh.t
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Do you search threads to be a jackass?....i didnt ask if you believed me or not, nor do i care....if you dont like it, then leave
__________________
FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
"Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret."
"Evil can only be conquered by good men doing nothing."
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06-18-2005, 02:27 PM
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#9
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Squats are my Friend
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: New York, New York, United States
Stats: 5'10"
Posts: 2,805
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 2080
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LMAO!
I hope you tipped her well
__________________
they got out the car, first chick came up with a bottle and i got it off her, second chick smashed bottle on my face resulting in lights out for her
the guy came up and punched me in the right eye, which also resulted in lights out.
he got in his car, ran over my mates brother
I got home and shaved me head.....
.....I GOT HOME AND SHAVED ME HEAD.....
Ehudd
Spoon pic? Fork Vid.
I win, go fuk yourself.
April 12, 2008
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06-18-2005, 02:37 PM
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#10
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LATman! To the rescue
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sulphur, Louisiana, United States
Age: 26
Posts: 2,163
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 5213
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gabrielle
LMAO!
I hope you tipped her well
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Well i thought about it, but then i just gave her 3 bucks.....if i ever go back, ima ask for her specifically ....
I wanna see the look on her face.....if she remembers me 
__________________
FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
"Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret."
"Evil can only be conquered by good men doing nothing."
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06-18-2005, 02:43 PM
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#11
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Banned
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 7,522
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 225
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by DRU1
Well i thought about it, but then i just gave her 3 bucks.....if i ever go back, ima ask for her specifically ....
I wanna see the look on her face.....if she remembers me |
she'll probably come in with clothespins on her nose.
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06-18-2005, 02:48 PM
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#12
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Banned
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,376
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I have had 3 pro massages and all came with the happy ending.
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06-18-2005, 02:50 PM
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#13
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Banned
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,035
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by DRU1
I went to get a full body massage just yesterday; it was great but prolly not for her. I just recently upped my protein quit a bit and i have been having the most rank fart ever. The one's that are warm and sting a little when they come out. The one's you have to let out very slowly or you WILL shat yourself.
Well she's all gettin' my back and during that 15min. on my back i must have farted like 10-15 literally ....Then she got to my legs and her face was more close to my arse, then she pushed up on my butt cheeks and i couldn't help myself...one just came flaring out like a raw egg expelling from a corpse's mouth....i mean it was nasty...well i new she smelt that one....right afterwards i heard her coff then she excused her self....when she left i just busted out laughing. She had this smile on her face when she came in, but i just sat there acting like nothing ever happend...
She got back into it, and i kept rippin' em out...then i asked her what that god awful smell was ....she looked at me and laughed, i said no seriously what the hell is that....is it the person next door or something...she didnt answer...but damn if you could just have been there, in my shoes....you would have had a grand ol' time....
Oh yeah, when i flipped over she was massaging my upper thigh, and i couldnt control myself....it just stood at attention....and she kept rubbin'...now; that and my farting just made it all too weird....good times, good times.... |
lol maybe if you didnt fat, you could of got her to rub something else?? 
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06-18-2005, 03:35 PM
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#14
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500 Internal Server Error
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 13,630
BodyPoints: 22529
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that story gave me a boner.
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06-18-2005, 04:01 PM
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#15
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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,526
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 10403
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Wow I would have layed there proud of that stench trying to rip them worse and worse just to see if she would have been like Ohh my god you are nasty. And that one about standing full mass. Hahahaha classic just lay there with a smirk stairing at her next time. Bwahahaha.
Marc Tonk
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06-18-2005, 04:16 PM
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#16
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LATman! To the rescue
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sulphur, Louisiana, United States
Age: 26
Posts: 2,163
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 5213
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by JingleAllTheWAY
that story gave me a boner.
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 .....^^^^^yeah next time i might just shove it down my leg where it pops out of the boxers .....then see if she plays with it.....and if she does....right as i bust it all in her mouth, ill let one of my specialty horriffic ass stinkers go.....then that will be a good time.....only could a real woman live through that.
__________________
FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
"Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret."
"Evil can only be conquered by good men doing nothing."
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06-18-2005, 04:41 PM
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#17
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Ovulating
Join Date: Sep 2004
Age: 14
Posts: 2,996
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 35
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was she hot
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06-18-2005, 04:48 PM
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#18
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LATman! To the rescue
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sulphur, Louisiana, United States
Age: 26
Posts: 2,163
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 5213
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Letsbefriends01
was she hot
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Well i would have let her, suck it....if thats what ya mean.....seen in public.....no
__________________
FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
"Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret."
"Evil can only be conquered by good men doing nothing."
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06-18-2005, 04:48 PM
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#19
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 234
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I was at my gym yesterday, in the sauna hot room. Well I got the urge to take a fart hardcore a couple minutes into it, i waited to see if it would go away but it didnt. I didnt wana risk leting one loose in the room because it was basicly full of people so I decided to walk out. right as i was walking out the door I let er rip, it was a really loud and i closed the door right behind me.
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06-18-2005, 04:58 PM
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#20
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LATman! To the rescue
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sulphur, Louisiana, United States
Age: 26
Posts: 2,163
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 5213
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Dick Justice II
I was at my gym yesterday, in the sauna hot room. Well I got the urge to take a fart hardcore a couple minutes into it, i waited to see if it would go away but it didnt. I didnt wana risk leting one loose in the room because it was basicly full of people so I decided to walk out. right as i was walking out the door I let er rip, it was a really loud and i closed the door right behind me.
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Did you turn to them and smerk as you walked away?
A friend and I used to fart into a cup and put our hand over the top....we could be like in the other room across the house and walk into the room he was in and run it right under his nose...or just stick it on his face....man that was some nasty ****.
__________________
FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
"Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret."
"Evil can only be conquered by good men doing nothing."
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06-18-2005, 05:09 PM
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#21
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 234
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no, I felt the effect of walking off as if nothing happend leaves something to be desired by the victim. I did this to my counselor in highschool too. When she wouldnt let me have homeschool during summer i got pretty upset so as i was walking out of her office which wasnt that big I let er rip and slammed the door behind me. There isnt much you can do about that. Its not she couldve said to the principle "hey, he just farted in my office!" sometimes when words just dont cut it, you have to let the ass do the talking.
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06-18-2005, 05:37 PM
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#22
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,531
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
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I hate those farts... Wet, stingy, and I've ****ted my pants quite a few times after a big Christmas dinner
__________________
READ THE RULES
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06-18-2005, 05:44 PM
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#23
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I sleep with my fan on...
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Mount Pleasant, Michigan, United States
Age: 22
Stats: 5'9", 200 lbs
Posts: 5,450
BodyPoints: 10139
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Wow, farting around people is something I do as little as possible. Its soooo embarassing.
__________________
HHF:
there are brighlights of humanity, but rhe glimmer is becoming dimmer and immer
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06-18-2005, 06:22 PM
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#24
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Banned
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,035
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i hate the ones that feel like a fart so you push it out but you try not to push too much but it ends up to be **** and its like wet! god i hate those
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06-18-2005, 06:25 PM
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#25
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,531
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 0
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It was so embarrassing. I was sitting down, playing the game I got for Christmas after the family dinner, and I felt a fart going on.
So I begin spreading my legs to expose my butthole, and gently release.
SPLAT. Ewwww. I felt it. It was all wet.
Nasty ****! Literally.
I told my mom, because we were at our relative's, and she was like, "Ok.. Let's wash it in the shower."
So I took off my yellow-**** stained underwear and threw it in the corner of the shower stall thing. Then my mom sprayed at it with the nozzle.
Sheesh.
__________________
READ THE RULES
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06-18-2005, 06:27 PM
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#26
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Ovulating
Join Date: Sep 2004
Age: 14
Posts: 2,996
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 35
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by hocoathlete
i hate the ones that feel like a fart so you push it out but you try not to push too much but it ends up to be **** and its like wet! god i hate those
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mexican does it for me
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06-18-2005, 06:47 PM
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#27
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Are You Aware Founder
Join Date: May 2005
Age: 17
Posts: 5,422
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by hocoathlete
i hate the ones that feel like a fart so you push it out but you try not to push too much but it ends up to be **** and its like wet! god i hate those
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It's called a shart..
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06-18-2005, 06:51 PM
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#28
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2005
Age: 29
Posts: 4,009
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 231
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Lmao, you should have asked her to quit farting.
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06-18-2005, 07:30 PM
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#29
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 873
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 619
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Crossballer
It was so embarrassing. I was sitting down, playing the game I got for Christmas after the family dinner, and I felt a fart going on.
So I begin spreading my legs to expose my butthole, and gently release.
SPLAT. Ewwww. I felt it. It was all wet.
Nasty ****! Literally.
I told my mom, because we were at our relative's, and she was like, "Ok.. Let's wash it in the shower."
So I took off my yellow-**** stained underwear and threw it in the corner of the shower stall thing. Then my mom sprayed at it with the nozzle.
Sheesh.
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wow lol how old are you. your mom cleans up after you. damn lol.
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06-18-2005, 07:32 PM
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#30
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 873
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 619
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Runningbackiler
WTF...i smell sumthing too!! WTF IS THAT GOD Awafull smell. Sumthing is funny around here...this post must be bullsh.t
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yea i agree dude. the original poster is so full of it. Just another attention hoe i guess ! 
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