question for the guys (serious)

breathingsky · 10-08-2007, 02:28 PM

Just wondering what your thoughts are on the topic of monogamy and open sexual relationships. Have any of you been in a committed relationship with someone, but had an open or semi-open sexual relationship? This can include being with other people together - and I don't mean cheating or doing your own thing outside of the relationship without the other person knowing. Would you think a situation like this would be ideal in an LTR? Not adviseable? Would it make you more likely to be faithful to your partner in the long run, or less likely?

user9438904904 · 10-08-2007, 02:33 PM

in 10th grade i dated a girl that thought she was bi. i allowed her to "get to know" some girls at her school thinking it would lead to the promised land aka 3some. it didnt and in fact she left me for 2 of them. true story.

so no, bad idea cuz they might find greener grass...or a softer touch

lock em up tight!

breathingsky · 10-08-2007, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onlydeadlifter

lock em up tight!

lol.

mattzor · 10-08-2007, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onlydeadlifter

in 10th grade i dated a girl that thought she was bi. i allowed her to "get to know" some girls at her school thinking it would lead to the promised land aka 3some. it didnt and in fact she left me for 2 of them. true story.

so no, bad idea cuz they might find greener grass...or a softer touch

lock em up tight!

lol sry for ur loss man. That sux but hey u took a gamble and it mighta led to something. Doestn hurt to try.

A freind of mine is in a weird relationship where him and his so called ex GF hangout a **** load and they have sex, but there allowed to see other people and have done so.

Bad Newz · 10-08-2007, 03:22 PM

Open relationships are only good if you don't care much about the relationship itself...

Would I advise? YES!

If you find the "right" person, you're not going to need to add spice or cheat...You won't have the urge or need...

Haterade~ · 10-08-2007, 03:26 PM

I would generally say no, unless it is a VERY established couple, married, etc, and maybe happen to find a similar couple while on vacation who's willing to swing as well... But other than something rare like that, no.

purplenemesis · 10-08-2007, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bad Newz

Open relationships are only good if you don't care much about the relationship itself...

I disagree with that statement. I really think it depends on the personalities of the 2 people in the relationship. If someone is possesive and doesent like to share than hell no it wont work, but if 2 people are open to it than there are a lot of advantages. Of course you run the risk of your partner finding someone they like more than you from going out and playing the field but what is your other option, keeping them locked in the house unable to experience the world. Me personally I would rather have a girl that isnt lying to me about how I am the only one in the world for her when you know damn well she has fantasies of ****ing other guys. Its just the way we are wired as humans.

Bad Newz · 10-08-2007, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purplenemesis

I disagree with that statement.

No need to disagree...Just post your thoughts...It's not a right or wrong question/answer, it's opinion based...

breathingsky · 10-08-2007, 04:27 PM

Ok, let me rephrase the question in a different way...and obviously it wouldn't apply to those men who are not into this sort of thing (although I don't think I've ever met any of them

)

If your girlfriend/wife were into threesomes, or whatever other multiple partner thing interests you, would you be less likely to cheat on her or more likely? Would you feel satisfied and not really feel the need to go out and look for better sex, variety etc. OR would you feel like it would give you more license to explore other options on the side (without her) because you've possibly been with other people, so it's not really as big of a deal?

Mycophage · 10-08-2007, 05:48 PM

check out swinger websites, they'll have TONS of great info for you. swingers, unsurprisingly, are WAY happier than their monogamous counterparts, and less likely to cheat.

i personally have no problem with my girlfriend sleeping around, so long as it's with good looking guys, and i'm not required to watch. i really think monogamy is a ridiculous idea- beta males are the only ones who actually want it, because they're constantly threatened by the prospect of losing their woman to someone better. it's also absurd to think that women are faithful whatsoever...best summed up by this posting http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=4749723

PM me if you want to hear about my swing club experience. FYI NYC has an amazing swinger scene from what i hear!

purplenemesis · 10-08-2007, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bad Newz

No need to disagree...Just post your thoughts...It's not a right or wrong question/answer, it's opinion based...

Very true, on a message board you will likely encounter a lot of different points of view and I respect those that are different from mine if they are informed or have good advice to give

mewtwos21 · 10-08-2007, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by breathingsky

Just wondering what your thoughts are on the topic of monogamy and open sexual relationships. Have any of you been in a committed relationship with someone, but had an open or semi-open sexual relationship? This can include being with other people together - and I don't mean cheating or doing your own thing outside of the relationship without the other person knowing. Would you think a situation like this would be ideal in an LTR? Not adviseable? Would it make you more likely to be faithful to your partner in the long run, or less likely?

If you WANT to have sex with other people, than you shouldn't be dating that person. Why don't you just keep them as a **** buddy instead, until you find someone you want to be faithful to?

Bad Newz · 10-08-2007, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purplenemesis

Very true, on a message board you will likely encounter a lot of different points of view and I respect those that are different from mine if they are informed or have good advice to give

Definitely...

**Arlecchino** · 10-08-2007, 06:29 PM

I am somewhat old-fashioned in this respect. To me, commitment has always meant exclusive, and I have always honored that.

When involved in a committed relationship, I would find the thought of a threesome somewhat uncomfortable, simply because on my views of the exclusive nature of a relationship.

A casual relationship has always meant something else, and threesomes were a fine change of pace.

However, no commitment has always meant exactly that to me.

Bad Newz · 10-08-2007, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arlecchino

I am somewhat old-fashioned in this respect. To me, commitment has always meant exclusive, and I have always honored that.

When involved in a committed relationship, I would find the thought of a threesome somewhat uncomfortable, simply because on my views of the exclusive nature of a relationship.

A casual relationship has always meant something else, and threesomes were a fine change of pace.

However, no commitment has always meant exactly that to me.

I'm so high I need cliffs