I need help brahs gf of 2 years im losing my mind

[Higherr]

So i had my GF for about almost 2 years now, we have a place together and she tells me she loves me alot etc and wants to be with me forever. About 3 weeks ago her father passed away which is in the city we both used to live in a long ways away, so she flew back for his funeral and to help her mom around the house and stuff. I try to stay in touch and text/phone calls etc, but when I ask about when she is gonna decide to come back, she is very indecisive and doesnt really know. I've been trying to get a solid date so i know she'd be coming back or if shes not gonna come back then i might as well break up and move on with my life. Recently ive been really aggressive in knowing when shes gonna come back and it feels like now she's just becoming more distant.

im stuck and i dont know what to do, i really love this girl and she claims the same but fukk, feels like **** right now being unsure of everytihng and idk what to do.

UPDATE: so i called her and said i would be going over to help her out and stuff, she completely said no dont come, and just said she wants to spend time with her mom. am i ****ed?

our communication has been declining this past week

Wtf stop negging me... I get it... Just needed some advice cause sitting here alone is fukkin ****ty all I have is my thoughts. I forgot to mention she brought up just staying there and going to school (even tho she doesn't even have high school done) and was ok with breaking up for it.

[TheJizzler]

Go see her if at all possible, help her mom get back on her feet. That will make her feel better.


This is a crappy situation, and I'm afraid that there's very little that you can do to influence the outcome. Deaths phuck people up. It happened to one of my friend's girlfriend, but luckily for him things sorted themselves out after two months (he spent almost all of it at home with her).


Don't give her ultimatums because those will just add to the pressure that she's under, just tell her that you understand how she feels; she'll think that she has to help her mom, she feels bad for not being there at the time, she's scared to leave again etc...
Try and point out how you think that it's not healthy to live in such an environment. Tell her that she could very easily get stuck in a downward spin, and that she should be happy again and start moving forward with her life.

[284Shooter]

Her dad just died????

Give her a little time, she has a lot going on, helping with family and all of that. Can you go see her, help her if she needs anything, be there for her. You say you love her, well show it, and support her when she needs it most.

Life is not always roses, everybody has tough times, when we need those closest to us to be there.

[tnelson1134]

if you have a place together she cant just not come back shes on the lease right? her family is just going through a hard time be supportive and dont rush her back.. go help out if you can she's just trying to gel her mother probably or they're helping each other cope with the huge loss..

[TheJizzler]

Her dad just died????

Give her a little time, she has a lot going on, helping with family and all of that. Can you go see her, help her if she needs anything, be there for her. You say you love her, well show it, and support her when she needs it most.

Life is not always roses, everybody has tough times, when we need those closest to us to be there.

^ study this post hard



Edit:
Come to think of it, HER PHUCKING DAD DIED! Stop whining about how you're worried about your own life and go help her!

[Higherr]

Will take the advice... thanks brahs

[scudda]

OP you are such a *******. Would neg you irl. Its been 3 weeks since your girl has been away and you are acting like a little bitch. Dont you understand that she needs to be there for her mother at such at time? Can't you understand what she might be going through? She must have so much on her mind right now and you been asking her when she is gonna come back.

Stop acting like a ******* and give her space to deal with all this.

[Higherr]

OP you are such a *******. Would neg you irl. Its been 3 weeks since your girl has been away and you are acting like a little bitch. Dont you understand that she needs to be there for her mother at such at time? Can't you understand what she might be going through? She must have so much on her mind right now and you been asking her when she is gonna come back.

Stop acting like a ******* and give her space to deal with all this.

sometimes i need a slap in the face to come to reality

[Higherr]

So should i give her space to deal with this or should i go over there and help her?

[Higherr]

bump for update

[LivetoProsper]

I suggest giving it a bit of time. She's dealing with a lot.

[sincity88]

OP you are such a *******. Would neg you irl. Its been 3 weeks since your girl has been away and you are acting like a little bitch. Dont you understand that she needs to be there for her mother at such at time? Can't you understand what she might be going through? She must have so much on her mind right now and you been asking her when she is gonna come back.

Stop acting like a ******* and give her space to deal with all this.

Strong this. Wtf op?

[284Shooter]

So i had my GF for about almost 2 years now, we have a place together and she tells me she loves me alot etc and wants to be with me forever. About 3 weeks ago her father passed away which is in the city we both used to live in a long ways away, so she flew back for his funeral and to help her mom around the house and stuff. I try to stay in touch and text/phone calls etc, but when I ask about when she is gonna decide to come back, she is very indecisive and doesnt really know. I've been trying to get a solid date so i know she'd be coming back or if shes not gonna come back then i might as well break up and move on with my life. Recently ive been really aggressive in knowing when shes gonna come back and it feels like now she's just becoming more distant.

im stuck and i dont know what to do, i really love this girl and she claims the same but fukk, feels like **** right now being unsure of everytihng and idk what to do.

UPDATE: so i called her and said i would be going over to help her out and stuff, she completely said no dont come, and just said she wants to spend time with her mom. am i ****ed?

our communication has been declining this past week

In response to your update:
Give her what she needs, she feels she needs to be there for her family right now. That should show you what kind of girl you have, she sticks around when things go bad.

Calm the F*** down, be there for her when she feels she is ready. Stop being a selfish *******, and man up. If you break up with her over this, you are really immature.

[Higherr]

Would rep everyone Irl, sorry I have ****ty rep power brahs

[Jestbrah]

In response to your update:
Give her what she needs, she feels she needs to be there for her family right now. That should show you what kind of girl you have, she sticks around when things go bad.

Calm the F*** down, be there for her when she feels she is ready. Stop being a selfish *******, and man up. If you break up with her over this, you are really immature.

I dont know, it is pretty shady she was quick to tell him NOT to come. Think, if your father died, wouldnt you want the person you love/your partner there to comfort you? That is like the number one person I would want to talk to. Whenever I have lost someone I hated sleeping alone and being without my partner.

I honestly think she is up to something, it sucks though because of the loss no matter what you look like an ******* but I would rather be the ******* who stood up than the ******* who got shat on.

[swhitese]

You're pushing her away brah, just leave her alone for a while


Give her some time to deal with this chit

[Violator009]

this is why you keep different women on rotation, im not waiting around with my dick in my hand until she feels like coming back...

[Higherr]

Ugh, feels like chit, feel like I don't even know where to start if I were to be single again

[missalexx]

You didn't go with her to her dad's funeral?

[OliBrah]

Sorry to say OP but she's currently slobbing on my knob as I type this.. Good luck mending things after this bro, you're gonna need it

[TheJizzler]

You didn't go with her to her dad's funeral?

Answer this

this is why you keep different women on rotation, im not waiting around with my dick in my hand until she feels like coming back...

Brb keeping women in reserve incase my wife's dad dies

[Montre]

You didn't go with her to her dad's funeral?

LOL This. WTF op..

[jamesovercome]

You should have went with her being with her for 2 years is more than enough time for you to feel "accepted" going to her dads funeral. You should be there to support her. If you don't like her family enough to pay respect and goto their funeral then get the **** out of that relationship because it doesn't get any better(believe me, I know)

I would also like to add that it seems like you're "nagging" her about when she will be back when her ****ing father just ****ing died. If she wanted to spend weeks upon weeks there then so be it. Its her DAD.

Since you're nagging her, i'm negging you.

I hope she leaves you.

[Montre]

You should have went with her being with her for 2 years is more than enough time for you to feel "accepted" going to her dads funeral. You should be there to support her.

If you don't like her family enough to pay respect and goto their funeral then get the **** out of that relationship because it doesn't get any better(believe me, I know)

This. My best friends dad died. I lived with him for a week after to make sure everything around the house was taken care of. Helped stock his fridge, cooked premade meals because he had a ton of **** to do planning the funeral, taking care of the estate, etc etc. After that first week I kept in touch daily to see if he needed anything. I went to the wake, was a pall bearer and went to the funeral and offered his family any support I could.

If you didn't even go to the funeral to show support and respect, I don't know what to tell you.

[shadowroth]

you didn't go to her dads funeral..
you dun goofed
sorry brah this is the beginning of the end
brace yourself
acquire oil , disregard females

[gabrielsyler]

After 2 years, I'd expect her to be confiding in you a lot more.

chances are an old romance has taken advantage of this weak moment and is screwing her rotten. she'll probably stay there and settle in with him.

girls love an arm to cry on and if your not there someone else will be

POF for you!

[Higherr]

Okay so at first she went just cause her dad was sick in the hospital, he died couple days after she got there. I had final exams and full time job so I couldn't really do much cuz no one knew he was just gonna pass away so fast.

She assured me 110% that there was no one else...

[Retroplayer]

You panicking is just making the situation worse for you. She doesn't want you to come because you are not being supportive and she probably doesn't want to have to deal with you, too, with everything else. She probably doesn't want to come back yet for the same reason. You are being a douche....

Give her space, and be supportive. Stop asking her anything about when she is coming back. Seriously, what does it matter? Can't you live without her for a bit? You can't make a sandwhich for yourself?

When you become an obligation, expect to become an ex. Calm the **** down before you **** it up for good if you haven't already.

She should be coming to you for comfort, but she isn't because you are becoming another source of stress. CHILL THE **** OUT

Tell her that you have thought about how you have been acting, explain WHY you were feeling insecure, and then tell her to stay as long as she needs and you will take care of everything back home for her.

[Retroplayer]

I'll give you the secret to a successful relationship and it isn't this alpha/beta BS. It's called empathy. And it is very simple:

Think about how you would feel if someone were treating you how you are treating them. If it would make you feel bad, it most likely is making them feel bad. VERY simple. You would react exactly the same way if she were doing this crap to you.

[Lunu]

She's been gone 3 weeks because her dad died and you're already considering moving on and annoyed that she cant give you a solid return date? Doesn't sound like love at all.