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  1. #1
    dream big or go home. bbjoe17's Avatar
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    post your funniest jokes! - funniest joke ever inside (serious)

    this guy goes into a bar and hes taking a piss in the urinal and he looks over and theres a midgit pissing next to him and the guy notices the midgits super hung. so the guy says dude not being weird or anything but how is it so big? the midgit says well actually im not a midgit im a leprachaun and for noticing i will give you one wish. the guy says dude i wish i had a penor as big as yours , so the leprachaun says okay but i must have my way with you first, and the guy says okay as long as you dont tell anyone. so the midgits givin it to him in the stall and the guy says i cant beleive im letting you do this , and the midgit says i cant beleive you beleive in leprechauns!!!!

    lololol funniest joke ever.
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  2. #2
    dream big or go home. bbjoe17's Avatar
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    bump
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  3. #3
    Texas Made, Texas Raised ianthegreat's Avatar
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    so funny, so so funny
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  4. #4
    Registered User GJ55's Avatar
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    A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,

    "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

    The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,

    "Which do you want, son?"

    The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

    What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

    Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of an ice cream store.

    "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

    The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"
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  5. #5
    Registered User dp2452's Avatar
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    lmao haha that was funny
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  6. #6
    Banned Leper Messiah's Avatar
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    This stand up is probably the funniest i've heard (no racist)

    http://tinyurl.com/2tcoqt
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  7. #7
    R[̲̅ə̲̅٨̲̅٥̲̅٦̲̅]ution Partickus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Leper Messiah View Post
    This stand up is probably the funniest i've heard (no racist)

    http://tinyurl.com/2tcoqt
    damn you
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  8. #8
    MTB for life unkept_'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Leper Messiah View Post
    This stand up is probably the funniest i've heard (no racist)

    http://tinyurl.com/2tcoqt
    Lol I clicked it. But ever since rickroll age tinyurl is off my clickage,
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  9. #9
    Registered User Jeffery's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Leper Messiah View Post
    This stand up is probably the funniest i've heard (no racist)

    http://tinyurl.com/2tcoqt
    wats her name? shes good!!
    mmmnht
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  10. #10
    Teh Colombian Ozkar's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GJ55 View Post
    A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,

    "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

    The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,

    "Which do you want, son?"

    The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

    What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

    Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of an ice cream store.

    "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

    The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

    Holy crap that was hilarious!!!!
    **B.M.B.C**
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  11. #11
    Registered User ae1555's Avatar
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    Funniest joke I have ever heard
    My Journal (Check it out if you need knowledge on how 5x5 looks like! and the results you can get)
    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=5720311
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  12. #12
    Registered User Brian_Holmes's Avatar
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    please post some more, those were fu*king hilarious
    Michael Jackson is homo
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  13. #13
    Bangin Beats all the way Dj Pimpsta's Avatar
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    repost!

    the best jokes ever are in this thread, there are pages of jokes!

    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=3708511
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  14. #14
    Registered User crimsonrain22's Avatar
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    A seal walks into a club.
    ---No matter how good looking she is, somewhere-someguy is sick of her ****---

    ---Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have---
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  15. #15
    Registered User zac2booya's Avatar
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    One day a man is walking along the beach and sees a quadriplegic girl on the boardwalk, sitting in her wheelchair and crying.

    He decides to be a good samaritan and asks her what's wrong.

    She replies sadly, "I've never been hugged."

    So he hugs the girl, which seems to cheer her up and he continues on his way.

    The next day he sees the girl again, still sitting on the boardwalk and crying, so he asks her what's wrong and she replies, "I've never been kissed."

    So, he kisses the girl dutifully and goes on his way.

    The following day, he passes her again, and once again, she's crying and he asks her what's wrong.

    She replies, "I've never been screwed."

    So, the man wheels her down the boardwalk, pushes her off the pier and says, "Now, you're screwed!"
    I've been known to rep back (300+)

    We have some old ass hamburger and tuna hepler in the comberds.

    Going into White Castle...I see a nice HB 7 across the street. I whistle loud to get her attention. She turns around. I tell her "hey, come here, let me buy you a burger". She doesn't come. - CarlitoBrigante
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  16. #16
    dream big or go home. bbjoe17's Avatar
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    When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, “Holy ****! That’s
    Chuck Norris!” Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the
    third girl he had slept with.
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  17. #17
    Registered User Leonhart's Avatar
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    To prepare for his big date with a blonde hottie, the
    young man went up to the roof of his apartment building
    in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show,
    he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man
    fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get a sunburn
    on his"tool".This young man was determined not to miss
    this date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and
    wrapped it in gauze. The blonde showed up for the date at
    his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home
    cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room
    to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young
    man's sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be
    excused, went into the kitchen, and poured himself a tall,
    cool, glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member
    in the milk and experienced an immediate relief of his pain.
    The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing,
    wandered into the kitchen to see him with his "tool"
    immersed in the glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde
    exclaimed, "So that's how you guys load those things!"
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  18. #18
    Registered User solidus2k3's Avatar
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    lol
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  19. #19
    Yo I'm Prison Mike Big Ad's Avatar
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    Talking

    Originally Posted by bbjoe17 View Post
    this guy goes into a bar and hes taking a piss in the urinal and he looks over and theres a midgit pissing next to him and the guy notices the midgits super hung. so the guy says dude not being weird or anything but how is it so big? the midgit says well actually im not a midgit im a leprachaun and for noticing i will give you one wish. the guy says dude i wish i had a penor as big as yours , so the leprachaun says okay but i must have my way with you first, and the guy says okay as long as you dont tell anyone. so the midgits givin it to him in the stall and the guy says i cant beleive im letting you do this , and the midgit says i cant beleive you beleive in leprechauns!!!!

    lololol funniest joke ever.
    lol hella funny
    I have been Michael's number two guy for about five years, and we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like Mozart's friend. No, I'm like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.
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  20. #20
    Registered User PTpaul's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Leonhart View Post
    To prepare for his big date with a blonde hottie, the
    young man went up to the roof of his apartment building
    in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show,
    he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man
    fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get a sunburn
    on his"tool".This young man was determined not to miss
    this date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and
    wrapped it in gauze. The blonde showed up for the date at
    his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home
    cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room
    to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young
    man's sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be
    excused, went into the kitchen, and poured himself a tall,
    cool, glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member
    in the milk and experienced an immediate relief of his pain.
    The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing,
    wandered into the kitchen to see him with his "tool"
    immersed in the glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde
    exclaimed, "So that's how you guys load those things!"
    haha nice!
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  21. #21
    Great Debater. Oh_Riginal's Avatar
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    So a AAA baseball player walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender tells him no.

    "Sorry," says the bartender, "I don't serve minors."

    /lame
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  22. #22
    Cry about it. tybrenis's Avatar
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    Why'd the little girl drop her lollipop??





























    She got hit by a truck.
    Non sea member #12

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  23. #23
    dream big or go home. bbjoe17's Avatar
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    how did the baby cross the road...











    it was chained to a bumper
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  24. #24
    Great Debater. Oh_Riginal's Avatar
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    Why did the chicken cross the road?























    So he wouldn't be lone-ly.



























    andimgonnamisseverybody
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    andimgonnamisseverybody
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  25. #25
    ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ Mighty Matt's Avatar
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    This is funny.
    “Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” - Mahatma Gandhi.

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  26. #26
    Delawarean bigguy29's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mattf485 View Post


    This is funny.
    lol
    "Always act as though it were impossible to fail." -Anonymous
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  27. #27
    Registered User ign_fan_4life's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Oh_Riginal View Post
    Why did the chicken cross the road?























    So he wouldn't be lone-ly.



























    andimgonnamisseverybody
    andimgonnamisseverybody
    andimgonnamisseverybody
    Most miscers won't get it, but I lol'd.
    I used to like Mitch Hedberg. I still do, but I used to too.

    Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, おまえ は も しんでいる。

    "she wants a man, not a fan"
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  28. #28
    Former Trackstar BruceLeroy1984's Avatar
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    A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was
    done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in
    the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes :

    "USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"

    She got the clean laundry back, and was still
    dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed
    another note:

    "USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!"

    The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and
    when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from
    HIM:
    "I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!!!
    USE MORE PAPER ON AZZ !!"
    ***I rep back 500+***


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  29. #29
    Former Trackstar BruceLeroy1984's Avatar
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    A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the
    breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think,
    fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

    "I know," the old man said, "We were probably
    sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."

    "Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times."
    Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

    "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,
    "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."



    "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
    "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
    ***I rep back 500+***


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  30. #30
    Misc'er Pad264's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Dj Pimpsta View Post
    repost!

    the best jokes ever are in this thread, there are pages of jokes!

    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=3708511
    Yup, just use that thread. While I made a few posts there, here's one I forgot...

    Superman is flying around with nothing to do. After awhile he notices Wonder Woman lying naked on one of the rooftops. She is bare naked and completely spread eagled, so Superman thinks to himself that with his speed, he could fly down there, fuk her, and be out before she ever notices.

    He prepares himself, undoes his pants, and leaps into action. Just as planned he is in and out in a flash.

    "What the hell was that!?" Wonder Woman yells.
    "I dunno," replies Mr. Invisible, "but my ass is really sore."
    Last edited by Pad264; 08-23-2007 at 12:31 PM.
    "My only enemy is time." - Charlie Chaplin

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