Confessions of a retail worker (serious)

[JJJJ4]

1) Your satisfaction means nothing to me. I dont care how much **** you buy, how little **** you buy, if you ever come back, or if you call corporate headquarters when you get home. I just dont care.

2) Im making 8 bucks an hour, dont expect me to suck your dick to make a 20 dollar sale. I will do just enough so I dont get fired, and thats not a lot. If I dont hurl my fesces at you, mission accomplished.

3) My manager barely speaks english, so fine, talk to him all you want.

4) If I sell you an 'extended warranty', I get a $5 gift card to McDonalds. That should be a big enough hint NOT to buy an extended warranty.

5) If there is a perfectly good product on the floor and you make me climb 15 feet up a ladder to get another one because 'that box is dented', I will make a voodoo doll of you when I get home and do unspeakable things to it.

6) If a shelf is empty and you ask me to go 'check in the back for more', I will go in the back, stand around for a few minutes then come back and tell you we're out.

7) Yes I dropped the box when I was unloading it off the truck. Yes it is probably broken. No, theres nothing you can do about it. Learn it. Live it. Love it.

8) If you see me walking around the store with a scanner and a pallet jack, I am a stocker. No I cant tell you the features and benefits of that tv. The only thing I can tell you is how much it weighs.

9) Yes I hit your car with a cart when I was wrangling them. Refer to #7.


People whove worked in retail add your own.

[angelfire2005]

Originally Posted by JJJJ4

6) If a shelf is empty and you ask me to go 'check in the back for more', I will go in the back, stand around for a few minutes then come back and tell you we're out.

I've done this before lol

[GermanBB]

10) Yes, I am in fact watching you. Working as an associate at a clothing store, I am paid to make sure you don't try to steal, but guess what, if you do, I can't do a damn thing about it.

[JoshT]

lol i know what you mean i work at lowes..people can be so annoying..they expect you to know everything and treat them like their ****in royalty just because they might of spent some money..im not gonna see any of that money so i dont care how much u spend

[Mises]

if you're fat or ugly I do everything in my power to walk in a different direction and avoid you. If you're a hot chick, I gladly go up to you and offer my assistance.

[360elite]

Heres mine from working at dunkin donuts

Some people order like a medium cofee and hand me the 2 dollars and leave because theyre in a rush...what I like to do is pocket the money and dont ring them up

sometimes i even tell them like a small coffee is 2 dollars so then they know they don't have change so they just hand it to me and i pocket it

also, if you ask for a smoothie and i make one and you say you wanted a diffrent flavor when im making the new flavor you wanted i spit in them

if you give me attitude ill stick my hand in there sometimes

[holy_smokes]

-While your asking me questions about what material this sock is made out of i am thinking of new ways to shave my ass

[JJJJ4]

Originally Posted by holy_smokes

-While your asking me questions about what material this sock is made out of i am thinking of new ways to shave my ass

rofl!!!

[agm22]

11. Interestingly enough, no, I don't want to help you when I'm not on the clock.
12. Just because you're lonely and have no one to talk to at home doesn't mean I feel like making small talk with you, instead, I'd rather have you get the **** out of my face asap. (yes mad)

[Herbb]

Originally Posted by 360elite

Heres mine from working at dunkin donuts

Some people order like a medium cofee and hand me the 2 dollars and leave because theyre in a rush...what I like to do is pocket the money and dont ring them up

sometimes i even tell them like a small coffee is 2 dollars so then they know they don't have change so they just hand it to me and i pocket it

also, if you ask for a smoothie and i make one and you say you wanted a diffrent flavor when im making the new flavor you wanted i spit in them

if you give me attitude ill stick my hand in there sometimes

you guys don't have cameras?

[Runngunn29]

Originally Posted by 360elite

Heres mine from working at dunkin donuts

Some people order like a medium cofee and hand me the 2 dollars and leave because theyre in a rush...what I like to do is pocket the money and dont ring them up

sometimes i even tell them like a small coffee is 2 dollars so then they know they don't have change so they just hand it to me and i pocket it

also, if you ask for a smoothie and i make one and you say you wanted a diffrent flavor when im making the new flavor you wanted i spit in them

if you give me attitude ill stick my hand in there sometimes

**** the 3rd ones fcked up dude. Shoudlnt spit in people's ****.

As for myself: No I dont represent the company. I make 8 dollars an hour and do more work than people who make double that. So I dont give a flying fck if youre upset at me and get me fired, I could find the same job anywhere else. If my actions get you upset at the company, thats good. Theyre ripping you off and treating their workers like ****.

If I'm counting out, I will not help you. I dont care if you think I'm insulting you by blantantly ignoring you. Im not gonna leave the cash drawer out in the open because youre too fcking stupid to find the product that has a whole section dedicated to it.

[muscleman420]

its great to see honesty is still cherished, even in these hard times.

I used to think "fire in the hole" was mean. I guess its just payback.

[PowerD]

13. Oh the people in the cabinets department told you we have 3 left? well guess what bitch?, we dont!!! what?, you want me to make you a ***damn cabinet?! Well suck my balls before i forcefully impregnate you and throw the fetus in the compactor you ****ing whore!

[east football]

13) If something you got from a clearance rack and it rings up not on clearance it means it was put there or on accident or out of laziness (probably by me), it was not marked wrong.

14) If you memorize the price of every item you have in your cart, you have problems. I am tired of people telling me the soap they bought was 3.99 and it came up as 4.12. When I call back to the department the person im talking to is making fun of you or we are talking about something else. If you are nice about it I might end up giving you your 10 cent discount though.

[TheGunther]

-yes, when I am rining you up at the cash register I am staring at your tits as I scan the items.

[east football]

Originally Posted by osymgr

13. Oh the people in the cabinets department told you we have 3 left? well guess what bitch?, we dont!!! what?, you want me to make you a ***damn cabinet?! Well suck my balls before i forcefully impregnate you and throw the fetus in the compactor you ****ing whore!

Yeah, we sell a lot of furniture where I work and the only thing that is my responsibility is taking it to people (nice on days like today where there was like 3 orders I had to do in the 4 hours i was there). There are always more tickets than items in stock, and the people at the registers dont call me until after the sale is made, so yeah people get really pissed when the stuff they just bought isnt there.

[Blazer_2006]

15) I work at Menards.... I dont give A F*ck if you didnt find what you were looking for, or the prices wernt what you expected.. So STOP telling me your going to go to Home Depot and trying to rub it in my face... They dont pay me enough to care..

[JJJJ4]

16) Im hungover and wheeling a 12 foot ladder around the store. Youre not watching you kid and hes running around like a retard. 'Nuff said.

[PowerD]

i used to work at menards too

[Blazer_2006]

Originally Posted by JJJJ4

16) Im hungover and wheeling a 12 foot ladder around the store. Youre not watching you kid and hes running around like a retard. 'Nuff said.

Yea I dont know how many kids ive had to help find since they ran off from their parents..

[Mexecutioner]

Originally Posted by JJJJ4

16) Im hungover and wheeling a 12 foot ladder around the store. Youre not watching you kid and hes running around like a retard. 'Nuff said.

sounds you worked in lowes or homedepot

[Hockey26]

I don't care if you steal, I'll pretend I didn't see it.

[MrMeanPants]

I went to American Eagle for the first time in my life...




and I found the nicest, most helpful guys ever. Will return there. Not all retailer workers are like that.

[JJJJ4]

Originally Posted by Mexecutioner

sounds you worked in lowes or homedepot

walmart

[importrev]

Yes im in an uniform standing behind the counter making me the perfect target to vent ur life frustrations at. Yes im asian, small, short, look soft and weak. but if i ever see you in public i wont have the ballz to do anything but damnit i will threaten you till you piss ur pants. Or i might follow you home and slash ur tires....

Note: the fish oil is located where it says "essential fatty acids" in addition to the location of my finger. Please dont walk around for 5 seconds asking "where? where? i need help i cant find it"

[AClb5]

Originally Posted by east football

13) If something you got from a clearance rack and it rings up not on clearance it means it was put there or on accident or out of laziness (probably by me), it was not marked wrong.

14) If you memorize the price of every item you have in your cart, you have problems. I am tired of people telling me the soap they bought was 3.99 and it came up as 4.12. When I call back to the department the person im talking to is making fun of you or we are talking about something else. If you are nice about it I might end up giving you your 10 cent discount though.

OMG, some bitch came through my line tonight with a shirt that was $19.99 and she's like, no, that was on the 30% off clearance rack, it's $6. I said, "No, it's not" Then I acted like I was calling my manager, and then I hung up and said, sorry the shirt was mis-marked, and mis-placed, it's actually $29.99. Sorry for the inconvenience.


15)I work at Target, and it prints off coupons like every other person or something like that. I steal them, I just throw them all behind the printer, and stash them in my pockets before I go on a break. You'd be surprised what kind of coupons people are missing out on, $5 off of $25 of groceries, $5 off $50 of groceries, $5 of $25 of apparel, $5 off $35 of apparel. And the best part is, it doesn't matter if you spend the $25 on groceries or not, as long as you spend $25, you can use the coupon. I bought Mario Party 8 for my little sister, only cost me $25 after my 10% discount and my 4 different $5 coupons. Yes I told her it cost me $45 after the discount. Yes I made $20 from doing it

[DatDereCe11Tech]

I work at gnc so it is commission based job so almost nothing that has been mentioned in the thread is true for me.

I genuinely care about my customers and if they come back because that adds to my paycheck.

[AClb5]

Originally Posted by MrMeanPants

I went to American Eagle for the first time in my life...




and I found the nicest, most helpful guys ever. Will return there. Not all retailer workers are like that.

Did they happen to PIIYB? I shop there, but not because of the gay men working there....

[GermanBB]

Originally Posted by MrMeanPants

I went to American Eagle for the first time in my life...




and I found the nicest, most helpful guys ever. Will return there. Not all retailer workers are like that.

20dollars says that the store manager was there

[east football]

If you bring me something with no bar code, upc, or sku, I cant ring it up, and dont give me a bad look when it takes a long time to get a price.

Dont eat candy or drink soda you havent paid for yet

Do not ask me to find something for you with a description like "I saw a brown chair in your flyer" and expect me to even look for it.