Dating while Training - the second attempt

[thenewchamp]

******When I first became a BB.com member I posted this in the misc thread thinking that we could all be mature enough to respond like adults. I got a couple decent responses but mostly - I got a bunch of PM's and comments of guys trying to convince me that my coach was only trying to hit on me and not all that concerned with my well-being.

But after reading the Thread from GoddessAmazon I thought I would repost in the proper Thread and see what kind of response I get (hopefully a lot more mature).*****
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When I first started training my coach told me that relationships will suffer and that my dedication could cause me to lose friends. Then he grinned and stated...if your man sticks with you through this, he is a keeper.

Hmm, I'm single but suddenly, men are coming out of the woodwork...I'm really not in the mood to date...I don't have the patience or the desire to explain the reason why I won't go out to eat or why I'm at the gym again, and no...I can't skip a workout. When I meet someone with potential, the first thing that I mention is my new goal and that I'm not going to let anyone be a distraction. They say that they understand but I doubt that they do...Is it possible to date while in training? I think it would be different if you are already in a relationship and know the person well. But, this is not the time to start something new.

[Camogirlie]

My boyfriend is the one who got me into lifting.. And when we first started dating he got up at 3am every single day to work out.. It didnt take me very long to get curious about his love for working out and I decided to join him.. So I had to change MY WHOLE life in order to be with someone who was as dedicated as he is.. If i didnt decide to get into working out i probably wouldnt be with him. I would have never understood why he gets up at 3am to work out before work, and i wouldnt get why he goes to bed at 6pm. And if things didnt work out with him.. I dont think i could date another guy that WASNT into lifting and working out on a regular basis.. It just wouldnt work..I LOVE working out.. and its a HUGE part of my life.. and like you im not willing to change my lifestyle just to date someone.. So either THEY adapt to you, or they are done.. I think its just best to stick with people who are into working out like you are.. And like you trainer said "if they stick around.. they are a keeper" thats so true!

[~~Aries~~]

Anyone worth the time would/will understand your motivation and your goals. They'll be supportive of them and if not they aren't worth the time.

[Future Mr.O]

******When I first became a BB.com member I posted this in the misc thread thinking that we could all be mature enough to respond like adults. I got a couple decent responses but mostly - I got a bunch of PM's and comments of guys trying to convince me that my coach was only trying to hit on me and not all that concerned with my well-being.

But after reading the Thread from GoddessAmazon I thought I would repost in the proper Thread and see what kind of response I get (hopefully a lot more mature).*****
---
When I first started training my coach told me that relationships will suffer and that my dedication could cause me to lose friends. Then he grinned and stated...if your man sticks with you through this, he is a keeper.

Hmm, I'm single but suddenly, men are coming out of the woodwork...I'm really not in the mood to date...I don't have the patience or the desire to explain the reason why I won't go out to eat or why I'm at the gym again, and no...I can't skip a workout. When I meet someone with potential, the first thing that I mention is my new goal and that I'm not going to let anyone be a distraction. They say that they understand but I doubt that they do...Is it possible to date while in training? I think it would be different if you are already in a relationship and know the person well. But, this is not the time to start something new.

I think your coach was hitting on you.

[nicoledominique]

Interesting...

I think it is completely possible to date while training hard. Of course, I also believe that you should be with someone who is into the same sort of lifestyle as you - otherwise it will probably not work out.

I was lucky enough to meet someone a few months ago who trains and diets just as hard as I do. We have so much in common, are able to pick each others brains about food and workouts, understand why we can't eat certain foods, and why we monitor every single calorie that we ingest. We are able to support each others goals and push one another to new levels.

I think you're on the right track right now because you're focused on yourself and your goals - that's always going to be most important. I would say don't rush into anything right now, but if someone amazing does come along who holds themselves to the same standards - Go for it!

[Screamin]

It is VERY possible! The key is to find someone who can understands your obsession. I don't throw that term around lightly, because I know EXACTLY what it means. If you want to have a meaningful relationship with someone, they need to either be a SERIOUS athlete like you or understand what it's like to be totally committed to someone. And odds are that person will be in the one place you spend most of your free time...

[darkangel]

Anyone worth the time would/will understand your motivation and your goals. They'll be supportive of them and if not they aren't worth the time.

Exactly. I met my husband while training seriously. He doesn't share my passion for fitness - unfortunately - but is fully supportive and has never tried to keep me from working out, following a specific diet, etc.

How many women put up with guys' various passions - football, NASCAR, fly fishing - without complaint? Ever known a guy to give up something they love to be with a woman?

Sure, there are going to be guys out there that don't get it and want to be the center of your world, but there are plenty who'll applaud what you do. Don't let your fitness lifestyle keep you from meeting someone special.

[gfundaro]

I've been in a serious relationship since long before I started training seriously, and here's what I've found:

If you're SO much of a bisch that family, friends, and your significant other sincerely cannot be around you, you're probably overtraining/undereating.

Your significant other may or may not be interested in fitness like you are. Take a step back and ask yourself two questions: Is it SO important that we have this in common that it might ruin our future together? Does he expect me to share the same level of interest in his hobbies?

Prioritization often suffers at the hands of a bodybuilder-gone-wild. Make sure you're getting proper nutrition, sleep, and time with people you care for, because they miss you (and that includes a current/potential S.O.). And that includes taking time for yourself and your social life (which doesn't have to include junk food and alcohol).

Your date/mate probably won't be your personal cheerleader all the time, because he's human, and so are you. If it becomes a concern, voice it with an open mind and a realistic knowledge of how many times you've greeted him with pompoms and a pleated skirt.

If anyone tells you you won't succeed, do the following: Dump them. Work hard. Prove them wrong.

[Amysangel]

I totally agree. When I met my fiance I was overweight and not into fitness at all. After I had our son, I began to learn about fitness and then bb. He has supported me the whole time, and takes care of our son so I can go the gym. He loves me no matter what, and he is really my biggest supporter. He has never once said don't go to the gym, or instead of going to work out babe lets go out to eat. It is totally possible to find someone that suports what you do, you just will probably go through a lot of ones that don't along the way. Or find someone that is into bb as much as you. Good Luck!

[thenewchamp]

True, my biggest focus is on my competition...I have put alot on the backburner (except my family) simply because this is my first one and I'm stressed enough.

Camogirlie and nicoledominique - I envy you because that is truly what I want. I've always thought that if you have a mate you should always have a workout partner available. Its wonderful to have someone who understands your obsessions/passions and won't attempt to discourage...so props to you!!

~~Aries~~ - You are on point with that; I have to let go of a few!

Future Mr.O - *sigh* why must you be my problem child? LOL!

Screamin - That's along the lines that I was thinking - ON POINT!

darkangel- QUOTE: How many women put up with guys' various passions - football, NASCAR, fly fishing - without complaint? Ever known a guy to give up something they love to be with a woman? ***preach it!!!*** I've met those who feel its okay for me to cater to their passions but choose to complain about mine becuase they get in their way...peace out! LOL

gfundaro - Thank you for the advice. I don't have a SO just yet but my family is not being neglected so I'm okay in that area. Unfortunately because I work so much and am prepping for a competition I am definitely undereating and overtraining...rest will come after September (LOL). While in my off-season, I promise to sleep in every once in a while.

Amysangel - I envy you too. If it so happens that I meet someone who is not into fitness, I hope they support me because I know I would be their #1 fan in whatever they choose to pursue.

[empresscat]

I date a bodybuilder/personal trainer - so him understanding is not a problem.

However, we both have crazy schedules... and different crazy schedules. Our solution has been that on my days off, I drive to his house when he has an hour or two between clients. When we get a chance, we try to go out to a party or dinner - but realistically, that's not every week. We stay in touch via text message (so that we don't interrupt each other when we're with clients - I'm a massage therapist.

In other words... if you want to make it work, there is always a way. But there is nothing at all wrong with enjoying singledom for a while, and if you don't really feel like dating, then don't.

[TampaGurlFL]

Yes, I think it would be best to date someone who is as serious as you are. Otherwise, they will not understand & may try to sway you from your goal. However, relationships will have the roller coaster of emotions that may affect your training. I kinda fell off the wagon when I started dating someone. It didn't work out & now I've been determined to not ever let that happen again. Glad to hear you would maintain your focus & determination no matter what.

[anb1683]

It's funny to come across this cause I was just thinking about this. I'm single and I try to date, but I workout after work, I'm not home till 730 at the earliest most days, I'm in bed by like 9 LOL, the weekends, I workout hang with my family and friends, so I don't have a whole lot of time to date...My whole theory on this is if I'm dating someone and they ask me to skip the gym or give me attitude about it, or give me attitude about what I eat, I'm done, I'll walk away. I have no time for someone who wants to be a bad example, so I dont date anymore. LOL
I imagine that when I find the right man, he will be into health and fitness, its a way of life, eventually one day when I have kids, I want them to have the same lifestyle, I want a healthy family, I don't bust my ass everyday at the gym just to look good, I do it for my health, family, future, and just a better life all together, and I would want someone to share that with me.

[jp8207]

I have been single for awhile now, and changed my life so much, the gym has become a huge part of my life and I would not change that. So anyone I date would have to be into lifting and understanding the way I eat. I have just met a nice guy in the gym and I will see how it works, i am hopeing he understands, he is not into it as much as I am but we will see.

[frolik]

yet another one here dating a bodybuilder... though I wake up earlier than him to work out =)

[thenewchamp]

I date a bodybuilder/personal trainer - so him understanding is not a problem.

In other words... if you want to make it work, there is always a way. But there is nothing at all wrong with enjoying singledom for a while, and if you don't really feel like dating, then don't.

I agree with you. People will do what they want and make time for what/who they want. Thanks for sharing, I appreciate it. I do enjoy being single...most of the time. But every now and then I crave the company of someone I have something in common with...other then my Coach! LOL

Yes, I think it would be best to date someone who is as serious as you are. Otherwise, they will not understand & may try to sway you from your goal. However, relationships will have the roller coaster of emotions that may affect your training. I kinda fell off the wagon when I started dating someone. It didn't work out & now I've been determined to not ever let that happen again. Glad to hear you would maintain your focus & determination no matter what.

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of...getting mixed up with someone who does not really understand; and then when tensions get high and emotions go haywire everythign blows up. I'd hate to have to break his heart...or neck. LOL!

It's funny to come across this cause I was just thinking about this. I'm single and I try to date, but I workout after work, I'm not home till 730 at the earliest most days, I'm in bed by like 9 LOL, the weekends, I workout hang with my family and friends, so I don't have a whole lot of time to date...My whole theory on this is if I'm dating someone and they ask me to skip the gym or give me attitude about it, or give me attitude about what I eat, I'm done, I'll walk away. I have no time for someone who wants to be a bad example, so I dont date anymore. LOL
I imagine that when I find the right man, he will be into health and fitness, its a way of life, eventually one day when I have kids, I want them to have the same lifestyle, I want a healthy family, I don't bust my ass everyday at the gym just to look good, I do it for my health, family, future, and just a better life all together, and I would want someone to share that with me.

Bingo!!! I workout in the morning at 5am then go to my job, come home to eat and then head back to the gym to either teach my class then finish my training or just train; I don't get home until after 9pm on some nights and by the time I'm done cooking and prepping my meals and clothes for the next day, all I have the energy to do is fall into bed...

X2 about the lifestyle. Thank you!

I have been single for awhile now, and changed my life so much, the gym has become a huge part of my life and I would not change that. So anyone I date would have to be into lifting and understanding the way I eat. I have just met a nice guy in the gym and I will see how it works, i am hopeing he understands, he is not into it as much as I am but we will see.

Good luck! Maybe your enthusiasm and passion will rub off on him and you'll end up with the perfect mate.

yet another one here dating a bodybuilder... though I wake up earlier than him to work out =)

I'm jealous! LOL!

[LadyLike]

I think as long as the person is passionate about something as much as you are about working out, then it can work. My boyfriend (who I've been with for 5 years, btw) is extremely focused on his art and getting to the next level with his career. So daily I hit the gym and daily he hides out in his art room. We both make sacrifices for what we want and can respect it.

[thenewchamp]

I think as long as the person is passionate about something as much as you are about working out, then it can work. My boyfriend (who I've been with for 5 years, btw) is extremely focused on his art and getting to the next level with his career. So daily I hit the gym and daily he hides out in his art room. We both make sacrifices for what we want and can respect it.

I hadn't really thought about it that way...true, it would be great for someone to have similar passions than I do but if he has his own focus...not only would we avoid fighting because I'm spending too much time in the gym; but we also wouldn't be fighting cuz we're in each other's faces all the time. LOL! We would actually be able to tell each other about our day!

Thanks!

[TheSheepdog]

I hadn't really thought about it that way...true, it would be great for someone to have similar passions than I do but if he has his own focus...not only would we avoid fighting because I'm spending too much time in the gym; but we also wouldn't be fighting cuz we're in each other's faces all the time. LOL! We would actually be able to tell each other about our day!

Thanks!

you dont need a man
going to the gym is orgasmic...just make love to the weights

[gfundaro]

you dont need a man
going to the gym is orgasmic...just make love to the weights

LOL

This is somewhat true...you release endorphins lifting, running, having sex, laughing, being around people you love. When I'm not around my bf, lifting is the only other thing that gets me out of a rut on a bad day!

[TheSheepdog]

imagine having a great workout and then making love...in the gym
"put your legs on the lat pulldown and grab this e-z curl bar like this...perfect"

acourse after it's been sanitize

[thenewchamp]

imagine having a great workout and then making love...in the gym
"put your legs on the lat pulldown and grab this e-z curl bar like this...perfect"

acourse after it's been sanitize

How much do you charge to personal train? I'll pay it...

[misstransformer]

******When I first became a BB.com member I posted this in the misc thread thinking that we could all be mature enough to respond like adults. I got a couple decent responses but mostly - I got a bunch of PM's and comments of guys trying to convince me that my coach was only trying to hit on me and not all that concerned with my well-being.

But after reading the Thread from GoddessAmazon I thought I would repost in the proper Thread and see what kind of response I get (hopefully a lot more mature).*****
---
When I first started training my coach told me that relationships will suffer and that my dedication could cause me to lose friends. Then he grinned and stated...if your man sticks with you through this, he is a keeper.

Hmm, I'm single but suddenly, men are coming out of the woodwork...I'm really not in the mood to date...I don't have the patience or the desire to explain the reason why I won't go out to eat or why I'm at the gym again, and no...I can't skip a workout. When I meet someone with potential, the first thing that I mention is my new goal and that I'm not going to let anyone be a distraction. They say that they understand but I doubt that they do...Is it possible to date while in training? I think it would be different if you are already in a relationship and know the person well. But, this is not the time to start something new.

If your man is secure, self-confident, and has similar goals and passions, he's more likely to understand the time and commitment involved. Most importantly, he'd be supportive, without sabotaging, or interfering too much. Otherwise, I can understand how it "could" cause problems.

There is nothing worse, than an insecure man who is afraid your success, will cause you to leave or out grow him. It really boils down to how strong a foundation the relationship has, and each man individually.

I'm currently single by choice, without the pressures of a relationship, which is really what I need at this time. I'm working on a lot of inner growth, and just making time for sleep, training, etc, is a juggling act, so a man is really the last thing on my mind. At the same time, I would think a good man, who really loves you, could compliment the positive aspects of your life, if you're prepared to have him there. I hope things work out, and that you reach your goals.

[misstransformer]

LOL

This is somewhat true...you release endorphins lifting, running, having sex, laughing, being around people you love. When I'm not around my bf, lifting is the only other thing that gets me out of a rut on a bad day!

I can't wait to feel these endorphins everyone keeps talking about. The last week or so, I've been practicing form with different exercises, to make sure I don't hurt myself when I begin training. That alone leaves me feeling tingly all over. I'm not sure how to describe it. Kind of like being really relaxed or something. Is that the feeling? Also, I LOVE to laugh. Love it!!

[JackHIT]

Jsut keep doing what you are doing. If you find a guy worth a ****, they will understand what you are doing. In my opinion you need to find someone with similar interest for the relationship to work. If they understand your goals and the effort it takes to reach them, they will become a postive in your life. Otherwise they will just be a pain in th ass.

[gfundaro]

I can't wait to feel these endorphins everyone keeps talking about. The last week or so, I've been practicing form with different exercises, to make sure I don't hurt myself when I begin training. That alone leaves me feeling tingly all over. I'm not sure how to describe it. Kind of like being really relaxed or something. Is that the feeling? Also, I LOVE to laugh. Love it!!

Well for me it's more of a distraction...I don't think about anything else, just the music and the exercise. For a couple hours, I'm not stressed at all, it's just me and the gym.

[misstransformer]

Well for me it's more of a distraction...I don't think about anything else, just the music and the exercise. For a couple hours, I'm not stressed at all, it's just me and the gym.

Over the weekend, something happened that really rubbed me the wrong way(did I say really), and during the time I exercised, I used that experience to push harder with weights. Towards the end of my workout, I didn't think about it at all. So maybe I got a glimpse of that. I also slept better after training, which replaced time I may have laid there thinking about things beyond my control anyway. Thank goodness for prayer, and training. lol

[lulublue]

Anyone worth the time would/will understand your motivation and your goals. They'll be supportive of them and if not they aren't worth the time.

I agree about a million times over!!

I prefer to date people who are into the gym as well, they share similar interests and understand your lifestyle and eating/training is a priority.

If you meet someone who is not involved in the fitness world just make sure to put yourself first from the outset and you will soon work out if they are prepared to work around your lifestyle.

Anyone worth keeping will compromise to be able to spend time with you and will support you in your life goals

[girl81]

I'm currently going through a breakup with a guy who completely negated and undermined my lifestyle and goals with his criticism. I'm ready to be free.

[thenewchamp]

I'm currently going through a breakup with a guy who completely negated and undermined my lifestyle and goals with his criticism. I'm ready to be free.

Good for you!! I've recently discovered that the best relationships to have during the first year of new goals is a long-distance relationship. LOL!!