Serious Advice Needed

batista_029 · 07-19-2007, 04:33 PM

Hey guys....

Long story short I ended my relationship with my ex a month ago. She has a huge drug problem and had been lying to me over the course of six months. During that time she said she had stopped and was getting help, etc. All bull****. So it was time to move on and drop the huge weight around me.

Now we had bought a house together and the last month has been hell. We are both out of the place staying elsewhere. I had changed the locks due to some physical threats she has made and I have a hearing for a restraining order against her. She just won't let go.

Now I have met someone else. We have been friends for almost a year. My new girl is definitely on my page, shes training for figure, shares the same interests as I do, supports me like no other and has been there for me through all this ****. She actually makes me want to be a better person.

The problem I have is that my ex is bipolar, volatile and comes from a violent family. She now knows about her and what she looks like because she has been having us followed.

She text me the last night saying that she was going to find my new girl and basically mess her up. This really concerns me because I have been to the police and they can't really do anything until I have my hearing for the restraining order. I just dont want nothing to happen to her. I can protect her when we are together but there is nothing I can do when I'm not around.

She is really scared and part of me wants to put things on hold until all this **** is finalized but neither of us wants that. I just don't want to see anything happen to her......what would you guys do?

Reps for advice

puppet_master · 07-19-2007, 04:49 PM

Honestly there is not alot that you can do. You shouldn't not live your life because a crazy drugegd up bitch makes threats. Infact continuing on with this girl will probably hit it home that its over between you and the ex. Do not contact her ever again and change your phone number. Just live life as normal because if **** is going to happen, it probably will anyway regardless of your actions.

Strongdog · 07-19-2007, 04:49 PM

well putting things on hold until a restraining order is recieved might not be a bad idea... if the crazy girl is serious you think, than see if the new girl is willing to lay low for awhile

batista_029 · 07-19-2007, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strongdog

well putting things on hold until a restraining order is recieved might not be a bad idea... if the crazy girl is serious you think, than see if the new girl is willing to lay low for awhile

I take her seriously......two nights after she was removed from the house by the police she had her brother hide out on my patio until I got home. When i went to let the dog out he tried to jump me but he wasn't successful at all. Honestly this is the **** you would see in movies. Not joking

batista_029 · 07-19-2007, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by puppet_master

Honestly there is not alot that you can do. You shouldn't not live your life because a crazy drugegd up bitch makes threats. Infact continuing on with this girl will probably hit it home that its over between you and the ex. Do not contact her ever again and change your phone number. Just live life as normal because if **** is going to happen, it probably will anyway regardless of your actions.

Thats the thing, the only contact I have with her is through the lawyer. I don't answer her calls or respond to her texts at all. The other night she called my cell 17 times in 3 hours. Insane.

Strongdog · 07-19-2007, 04:57 PM

lmao... probably not funny to u but damn... i hope u beat his ass. Ya, you should be scared probably. tell the new girl to stay away from your place for awhile so that the only person you gotta be worried about is yourself for now

batista_029 · 07-19-2007, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strongdog

lmao... probably not funny to u but damn... i hope u beat his ass. Ya, you should be scared probably. tell the new girl to stay away from your place for awhile so that the only person you gotta be worried about is yourself for now

Dropped him with one punch. Definitely sound advice, I can handle myself I just don't want nothing to happen to her because she did nothing wrong.

Brutotal · 07-19-2007, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by batista_029

I take her seriously......two nights after she was removed from the house by the police she had her brother hide out on my patio until I got home. When i went to let the dog out he tried to jump me but he wasn't successful at all. Honestly this is the **** you would see in movies. Not joking

Convince your new g/f to carry some kind of protection, it will buy atleast a little peace of mind. Other then that do your best to record and report the threats to the authorities.

batista_029 · 07-19-2007, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brutotal

Convince your new g/f to carry some kind of protection, it will buy atleast a little peace of mind. Other then that do your best to record and report the threats to the authorities.

I have been marking down when she calls, saving her voice mails, texts, etc. There must be at least a dozen reports within the last three weeks made to the authorities. Its getting out of control.

ccm · 07-19-2007, 06:31 PM

she on H? meth? coke?

batista_029 · 07-19-2007, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ccm

she on H? meth? coke?

She was addicted to oxycontin, percacets and did the occasional coke.

batista_029 · 07-19-2007, 07:15 PM

In addition she is also taking anti-depressants and nerve pills to help curb her outbursts. Bottom-line this is one messed up girl with a lot of issues.

batista_029 · 07-20-2007, 01:19 PM

My crazy ex followed my new girl to the gym today and waited there until she came out. Apparantly she told her that she needed to mind your f'n business because we had things to sort out and if she didn't, now that she knows what she looks like she would make our lives a living hell.

She's really freaked out now and I can't do a thing because I'm out of town and won't be back until Sunday. My buddies have offered to protect her if anything happens but I don't know how far she will take this. Do you guys think I should send the ex a text and say that the new girl and I ended things? Would that make her back off?

ItalWHOP · 07-20-2007, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by batista_029

She was addicted to oxycontin, percacets and did the occasional coke.

Worse addiction you can have. I had to leave someone because of opiates. It is a terrible thing to get addicted to.

What do the useless cops say about her threats?

5x10 · 07-20-2007, 01:27 PM

get your girl some mace or a taser

microsize · 07-20-2007, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by batista_029

My crazy ex followed my new girl to the gym today and waited there until she came out. Apparantly she told her that she needed to mind your f'n business because we had things to sort out and if she didn't, now that she knows what she looks like she would make our lives a living hell.

She's really freaked out now and I can't do a thing because I'm out of town and won't be back until Sunday. My buddies have offered to protect her if anything happens but I don't know how far she will take this. Do you guys think I should send the ex a text and say that the new girl and I ended things? Would that make her back off?

Don't text her. That could make things worse if she'd find out that you were lying. I won't advice you what to do, though, because this is a tough one. I'd probably consider your buddies' offer, because you don't know how far a girl on drugs will go.

batista_029 · 07-20-2007, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ItalWHOP

Worse addiction you can have. I had to leave someone because of opiates. It is a terrible thing to get addicted to.

What do the useless cops say about her threats?

Exactly......useless.

I have filed about a dozen reports in the last two weeks. They arrested her once at the house for breach of peace and disturbing the peace. They also have a written note from her doctor saying that she is suicidal and depressed but all they keep recommending is mark all the threats down and proceed with the restraining order. Whats sucks about that is the actual court hearing is not until late September.

So basically there is a known pyschotic running free around town doing what she wants to do.

ItalWHOP · 07-20-2007, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by batista_029

Exactly......useless.

I have filed about a dozen reports in the last two weeks. They arrested her once at the house for breach of peace and disturbing the peace. They also have a written note from her doctor saying that she is suicidal and depressed but all they keep recommending is mark all the threats down and proceed with the restraining order. Whats sucks about that is the actual court hearing is not until late September.

So basically there is a known pyschotic running free around town doing what she wants to do.

It really is depressing. It took my friend like 3 months to even get a restraining order on a man that was threatening her family. He basically had to harass her at work for it to happen.

They'll write you a speeding ticket in a hurry, but when you really need them. No where to be found.....

Anyways, I agree with the guy above. Contacting her is probably just going to do more harm then good.

batista_029 · 07-20-2007, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5x10

get your girl some mace or a taser

I actually brought that up to her last night. She would consider it but doesn't want to have to lower herself to that level.

Quote:

Originally Posted by microsize

Don't text her. That could make things worse if she'd find out that you were lying. I won't advice you what to do, though, because this is a tough one. I'd probably consider your buddies' offer, because you don't know how far a girl on drugs will go.

Thats the thing. She has a criminal backing too. Her dad is a member of a biker gang although he is serving time in jail right now.....but he still has his outside connections which she constantly threatens me with. He is well known to the authorities and they figure they are all talk but at some point you have to take these threats seriously.

batista_029 · 07-20-2007, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ItalWHOP

It really is depressing. It took my friend like 3 months to even get a restraining order on a man that was threatening her family. He basically had to harass her at work for it to happen.

They'll write you a speeding ticket in a hurry, but when you really need them. No where to be found.....

Anyways, I agree with the guy above. Contacting her is probably just going to do more harm then good.

That just shows how f'd up the system is. Its supposed to offer protection to law abiding citizens and it doesn't

Thats the thing.....I don't want to text or call her because that would just add more fuel to the fire right now.

BRAWNnupe4 · 07-20-2007, 01:42 PM

Man I know I have had a run in with a crazy chick but not this extreme. From my experience it takes repetitive BRUTAL honesty for some people like this to get the point. So as crazy as it sounds I think that you should call the ex back and set up a time where you guys can meet somewhere and bring a third party (and preferably in public).

5x10 · 07-20-2007, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by batista_029

I actually brought that up to her last night. She would consider it but doesn't want to have to lower herself to that level.

i wouldnt consider that lowering oneself

i would consider a good defense for a drug addict ex

BVAV · 07-20-2007, 01:47 PM

No offense but you should really question how you got tangled up with such a dysfunctional person so you don't walk the same road again.

Also I wouldn't meet with your ex under any circumstances. She'll just realize that if she badgers you enough you'll give her the attention she wants. Just refuse to have any contact with her at all.

batista_029 · 07-20-2007, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BRAWNnupe4

Man I know I have had a run in with a crazy chick but not this extreme. From my experience it takes repetitive BRUTAL honesty for some people like this to get the point. So as crazy as it sounds I think that you should call the ex back and set up a time where you guys can meet somewhere and bring a third party (and preferably in public).

I have tried to be honest with her and tell her that we are completely through and I want to move on. Obviously we are not right for each other. This just infuriates her more. Although she says she doesn't want to be with me, the idea of me being with someone else kills her and thats what keeps her hanging on. She also says that if she wanted me back she could have me back so her logic just baffles me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5x10

i wouldnt consider that lowering oneself

i would consider a good defense for a drug addict ex

My point exactly. That is what I tried to tell her. When I'm not around its the next best thing. How would you approach bringing it back up to her?

ItalWHOP · 07-20-2007, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by batista_029

My point exactly. That is what I tried to tell her. When I'm not around its the next best thing. How would you approach bringing it back up to her?

Buy it and give it to her. Be like, "If for anything, just carry it for my comfort level". something to that nature.....don't forget to go over with her how to use it.

gountilfailure0 · 07-20-2007, 01:53 PM

dont worry bro just keep moving on eventually things will die down

batista_029 · 07-20-2007, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BVAV

No offense but you should really question how you got tangled up with such a dysfunctional person so you don't walk the same road again.

Also I wouldn't meet with your ex under any circumstances. She'll just realize that if she badgers you enough you'll give her the attention she wants. Just refuse to have any contact with her at all.

I know I won't walk that road again. The problem was she wasn't like this when we met.....she lied and completely did a 180 when we bought our place together. I won't be played the fool again.

batista_029 · 07-20-2007, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gountilfailure0

dont worry bro just keep moving on eventually things will die down

I hope so.....I just know that when the courts force us to place the house on the market for sale she is going explode. I was willing to sign off the mortgage is she gave me what I put down initially but she is just playing games.

BVAV · 07-20-2007, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by batista_029

I know I won't walk that road again. The problem was she wasn't like this when we met.....she lied and complete did a 180 when we bought our place together. I won't be played the fool again.

That's my point really. Most people aren't like this in the begining but people rarely just do a 180 in the midst of their lives. There were clues that she was messed up and you missed them. But we've all done this so you're not alone. The only thing is if you don't acknowldge the subtle hints she was giving off that attracted you to her you'll find them attractive in the next girl as well.

batista_029 · 07-20-2007, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BVAV

That's my point really. Most people aren't like this in the begining but people rarely just do a 180 in the midst of their lives. There were clues that she was messed up and you missed them. But we've all done this so you're not alone. The only thing is if you don't acknowldge the subtle hints she was giving off that attracted you to her you'll find them attractive in the next girl as well.

True......the big warning sign was on our first date, she told me exactly what her family was involved in and I shrugged it off. I just figured that she wasn't like them because I usually give people the benefit of the doubt. Boy was I wrong but I've learned from it and thats why its better to be friends first before jumping into something.