RANT --> Woman, will I ever get them.

[cawiau]

I have been trying to get my fiancee to start lifting weights with me for more than a year now. But no...she was afraid to get big or wanted to lose all her weights first...yadi yadi yada. Everything I tried failed. Even made her come to bodybuilding.com, made her start an account, made her look at transformation.
I even made her meet Jassdolly in person so she could get an idea (Thanks Jassdolly, you tried your best) but no.

But here goes :

She calls me at work saying that she is going to go to the gym with me on Satuday. Surprised, I asked what made her change her mind...and here goes.

She is a counselor at summer camp. So today a lady came to do aerobics with the kid in her group. she is also a physical ed teacher during the year. It's seems that she liked the woman shape so they started talking.

She asked the woman that if I was right, that I was telling her to start lifting weights while losing the fat but she wanted to lose weight first. The woman tell her that I was right, that it was a misconception that you should lose weight before lifting. That lifting weights actually help with the weight loss, increase metabolism, burn fat ...BASICALLY EVERYTHING THAT I HAVE BEEN TELLING HER FOR MORE THAN A YEAR NOW

She said that she tried it and that she did not lose weight. The woman told her that at first she might not lose weight but she will lose inches....YEAH, I SAID THE SAME THING TOO

And more things that now I am to upset t o type. But yeah...she decided to start lifting weights for good now and not give up after only a week.

Woman...will never get them

[bttrthnb4]

Aw, try not to be too upset. We are very bullheaded sometimes. I know it probably isn't going to help atm, but at least she's finally taking what was your advice to begin with! Good luck to both of ya!

[gixxer_751]

good luck, im on the same boat, even got a whole gym set up in my house

[Future Mr.O]

Woman...will never get them

Just stop eating all the cookies.

[Sable_Strenua]

like i said in ur other thread on the main forum page, your fiancee just needed to see it before she would really truly believe it. Some people are just like that, no matter how much evidence you present to them.

at least now she's on the right track - be happy for that.

[cawiau]

I know it probably isn't going to help atm, but at least she's finally taking what was your advice to begin with!!

at least now she's on the right track - be happy for that.

Yes, I guess you guys are right.

luck, im on the same boat, even got a whole gym set up in my house

That's my dream... and good luck.

Just stop eating all the cookies.

han

[goddessamazon]

like i said in ur other thread on the main forum page, your fiancee just needed to see it before she would really truly believe it. Some people are just like that, no matter how much evidence you present to them.

at least now she's on the right track - be happy for that.

Excellent point. Women can relate to other women and she just had to see and hear it from another woman. Don't feel bad. I try to tell some of the guys at my gym about their form and they brush me off but when another guy tell them the same thing they listen and adjust. I don't take it personally. Sometimes we have to hear things from our own gender.

[CoffeCanSlayer]

Just stop eating all the cookies.

Where the hell did that come from?

[anb1683]

I'm the same way, you can tell me all day long that I need to do it one way, and until I figure it out on my own I won't do it that way...I'm slowly starting to change...It comes with age, that i truly believe, I was so stubborn at 20-22, never admitted when i was wrong or anything, 23 I became a little wiser and now, I actually see myself growing up, making different choices and listening to other people and learning from others mistakes...LOL...who knows if that makes sense, to me it does...It just takes time.

[cawiau]

Excellent point. Women can relate to other women and she just had to see and hear it from another woman. Don't feel bad. I try to tell some of the guys at my gym about their form and they brush me off but when another guy tell them the same thing they listen and adjust. I don't take it personally. Sometimes we have to hear things from our own gender.

I guess but still irks me when she does that.
And this is not the first time

[cawiau]

I'm the same way, you can tell me all day long that I need to do it one way, and until I figure it out on my own I won't do it that way...I'm slowly starting to change...It comes with age, that i truly believe, I was so stubborn at 20-22, never admitted when i was wrong or anything, 23 I became a little wiser and now, I actually see myself growing up, making different choices and listening to other people and learning from others mistakes...LOL...who knows if that makes sense, to me it does...It just takes time.

I can only hope that she grows out of it

[Revmachine21]

Think about it this way... if you hadn't been chewing her ear for a year about how to lose fat, when she met this woman, she wouldn't have had enough information to ask the right questions.

For your fiance, she needed two people to get her ass in gear, you and the other woman.

Who knows... maybe down the road after making some nice progress, she may apologize for taking so long to follow your advice.

If I were you, I'd be grateful for the positive change.

[cawiau]

If I were you, I'd be grateful for the positive change.

I am but still pissed off
Kinda mixed feelings about it.

Anyway...Saturday is coming....we shall see.
Any ideas???

[CoffeCanSlayer]

I am but still pissed off
Kinda mixed feelings about it.

Anyway...Saturday is coming....we shall see.
Any ideas???

Ease into it, dont ring her thru the ropes just yet. If you make her so sore she cant move, she wont want to do it anymore, although I love the feeling, im sure she wouldnt. Take it easy at first, then start gradually gettting into it.

[Tyrbolift]

I am but still pissed off
Kinda mixed feelings about it.

Anyway...Saturday is coming....we shall see.
Any ideas???

Start with a legs workout the first day, and don't go too heavy or too many sets.

The reason for leg day is because:

1-women always seem to like doing legs in the gym more, in fact sometimes it's all I see them do, so she will be doing something she sees other women doing, and will acclimate and grow more comfortable with the gym atmosphere if she is doing something where she likes it, does not stand out from other women, and is probably stronger than she realizes.

2-Since she fears looking like she has a man's upper body, while she's doing legs she can observe other women that may be benching or what not and see they look feminine.

3-Don't want to give her really bad DOMS from the first workout, which she is likely to get, so only do about 3 sets of each exercise.

4-Don't have her do squats or some difficult lift. have her use a sled or leg press, lying curls, extension, and either seated leg curl or standing. She needs to get the breathing and exertion down first before adding in balancing and possible light-headedness.

Other suggestions:
5-Make no comments on whatever she chooses to wear unless she asks, and then be positive. As a self-conscious women, what she chooses to wear will probably have taken her a fortnight and a day to decide on, from hairstyle to shoes. and when she is dressed and ready to go, every square inch of clothing will be specifically EXACTLY what she wants, from fabric to style to fit to color.

Even the slightest criticism or joke will weigh heavy on her mind the rest of the day. (for those who would take offense, I just mean that assuming she is a noob AND very sensitive AND self-conscious--not because I think all women are like that, they aren't)

6-Refrain from saying "toldja's" and just be positive and supportive.

[Revmachine21]

6-Refrain from saying "toldja's" and just be positive and supportive.

x 2...

And add, be watchful of extreme fatigue. There's whining about being really tired, and being really tired. My first time lifting in high school, I can still remember how wiped I was. At that time was average build & fitness, not fat, and certainly not out of shape.

Also, at the end of the day, tell her how much fun you had since she was with you. Be excited and happy about her doing it with you and let her see your enthusiasm.

[cawiau]

5-Make no comments on whatever she chooses to wear unless she asks, and then be positive. As a self-conscious women, what she chooses to wear will probably have taken her a fortnight and a day to decide on, from hairstyle to shoes. and when she is dressed and ready to go, every square inch of clothing will be specifically EXACTLY what she wants, from fabric to style to fit to color.

Even the slightest criticism or joke will weigh heavy on her mind the rest of the day. (for those who would take offense, I just mean that assuming she is a noob AND very sensitive AND self-conscious--not because I think all women are like that, they aren't)
.

You just describe my fiancee to a T. except it takes her about 2 days to decide what she is going to weat 2 days later.
And yes...if I make a bad comment...usually about her boobs popping out [ those girls refuse to stay in place] she gets mad and go change.
But believe she will never let me forget it...and even mention like 10 days later.

Like
Her MOM : You looked so nice that day
Her : Really (looks at me)! Thanks. But Carl did not like it.
Her MOM : Why?
Her : I don't know. He never likes anything I wear.

you can see where this is going.

I need to learn to keep my mouth shut

[cawiau]

x 2...

And add, be watchful of extreme fatigue. There's whining about being really tired, and being really tired. My first time lifting in high school, I can still remember how wiped I was. At that time was average build & fitness, not fat, and certainly not out of shape.

Also, at the end of the day, tell her how much fun you had since she was with you. Be excited and happy about her doing it with you and let her see your enthusiasm.

Thanks.
I am trying to put together a simple but effective full body workout for her.
Something she can do without me around....our schedules are at war with each other. Can go like 3 weeks without seing her, but we do talk to each like 10 million times a day

[Sable_Strenua]

Thanks.
I am trying to put together a simple but effective full body workout for her.
Something she can do without me around....our schedules are at war with each other. Can go like 3 weeks without seing her, but we do talk to each like 10 million times a day

also check out Terracotta's website: www.hotnfit.com
it has a lot of basic info on there and ideas for a beginner's workout program.

[cawiau]

also check out Terracotta's website: www.hotnfit.com
it has a lot of basic info on there and ideas for a beginner's workout program.

thanks a million.

[roadwarrior9355]

I am but still pissed off
Kinda mixed feelings about it.

Anyway...Saturday is coming....we shall see.
Any ideas???

Hook her up with some of the other ladies in the gym. It was the ladies in I met in the locker room that included me in some outside activities that help with the motivation.

Trust me it goes both ways. My beloved of 26 years turns to me the other day and says, do you know what I heard on TV yesterday? He proceeds to tell me something that I have been ranting about for over ten years. My 22 year old, 6 ft tall, 200 pound, squat 500 pounds, son ducked and ran for cover. My son is also apparently very smart. My beloved was clueless what he had just done. Yes, he continues to breath.

[empresscat]

Sometimes it's hard to trust that the advice of someone close to us (boyfriend/spouse, sibling, parent) is unbiased, rather than being based on that person's view of us... hearing the same thing from another source (one they don't point us to) re-inforces it, and allows us to really hear it.

She wouldn't have been prepped to accept it, though, if you hadn't been telling her already.