Girlfriend of 5+ Years Dumped Me

[MSUSpartan1]

Figured I would ask for some advice from you guys. I feel like a pansy and a big baby, but thought I could get some good tips on how to get over her.

Anyways, GF of 5+ years dumped me last night. Sadly I was with her most of my college years which I now regret. I thought she would be the one I marry, and she was my best friend. I told her everything, she told me everything, and we had a great time together.

We've been living apart the last 1.5 years, and that seems to be one of the causes of the break-up. Only an hour apart, but she says she "grew apart from me during this time." We lived apart after moving back home from college. I've been working in a different area than her, and wanted to save up as much $$$ as possible to pay off student loans. The plan was to move in together this summer, but that's obviously not happening.

I wasn't really expecting this at all. Back in December for about 2-3 days, she talked about possibly going on a "break" but after those 2-3 days passed, she was fine, and just said she was crazy, and depressed those days. She's seemed happy and normal since then. However, about 2 weeks ago she told me she was moving down South for a 8 weeks for work. I got a little depressed, because deep down I just had a feeling she was gonna break things off even though we had got along just fine. I mentioned it to her, and she said "No it's only 8 weeks! I love you, and as soon as I get back we will move in together." We then had a great rest of the weekend and I thought everything was fine.

Then last Friday comes. She talks to me all day, and acts completely normal again. Goes out drinking with her co-workers, and doesn't send me one message while she's out or even a goodnight. The next day she is ready to call it quits, and does it through the phone.

I was just in shock because we didn't even have a big fight, and a 5+ year relationship ends through the phone? I just thought she was going crazy again, but we meet up last night, and she's 100% sure of her decision. Already seems like she's moved on. She told her friends she was at peace having me out of her life, and showed no interest in working things out. Saw the texts on her phone, and she just acted like she had no heart. "Im getting ready to dump him lol." "I've been trying to ease him into it the last few days." "He's all devastated, and I feel a little bad, but I am at peace with the decision."

I'm depressed because she's my best friend, and I thought she was the one. I just feel so dumb for not realizing that she apparently didn't feel for me like I felt for her. Now I'm really struggling with dealing with this. I feel like a wimp, but I feel super lonely, alone, and just don't know how to stay out of contact with her. I've talked to her everyday for 5-6 years now.

Any advice on how to get over her, and not crave in and text/call her? No matter how hard I try, I still get the urge to text her. Right now, I am just really sad, and hope that maybe the 2 months away makes her miss me, and that she wants me back eventually. She sure doesn't seem like that will happen though. I'm still in the denial stage, and can't get over the fact that this is actually what she wants. It feels like a nightmare.

Deep down though, I know that I don't want her back. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that makes me feel the way I feel now. It's not worth it. I rarely, rarely show emotions, and I have been crying over it which shows how much it hurts me.

Sorry for the long rant, I'm just frustrated Lol, but any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Edit: Cliffs
-GF of 5+ years dumped me. Wasn't expecting it. She was my best friend, and girl I thought I would marry
-She seems at peace with it, and 100% sure of her decision. I'm the exact opposite. I'm depressed.
-She wants no contact, and I've talked to her every day for almost 6 years now. It's not easy for me, and I need some tips on how to avoid caving in and calling her.
-Right now, I'm hoping that she will want me back, and realize she misses me, but deep down, I know I don't want to get back with her and this happen again.
-Feel lonely, alone, and depressed.

[Mjnewbie]

no cliffs too long didnt read.

[justinjude]

i only read a paragraph but sounds like my ex, who i moved across the country for. things were great, she went to a wedding, went NC for 3 days, then NC for 6 months.

turns out she was pregnant.




i bet your gf banged some dude.

[SickD]

shh no cliffs no pics only negs now

edit: i bet 1k that she got railed by someone else

sorry bro

[IndianBradPitt]

Congrats, bro

[b5lover]

i hate when an interesting thread title turns out to be

[Mav3535]

i only read a paragraph but sounds like my ex, who i moved across the country for. things were great, she went to a wedding, went NC for 3 days, then NC for 6 months.

turns out she was pregnant.




i bet your gf banged some dude.

This. No other reason really why she'd do this. Go no contact (yeah I know it's tough at first, but man up bro) and go get yourself another sloot.

[irollurmom]

[Dawlphinracer]

Don't make a vlog srs

[magog704]

read op as "Garfield of 5+ years dumped me"

get on tinder or christian mingle or whatever the fuk and start workin on a couple bust downs.

the solution is pretty simple, when you are sad you get bustdowns and video games. when your dog dies you take a couple weeks and then start goin to pet smart and lookin at new puppies.

[xxDirtMcGirtxx]

You'll be fine brah. Will just take some time. Do things you enjoy and always keep busy. Focus on yourself and nothing else at this point. We're all going to make it.

[echo117]

Go no contact. Delete her number from your phone. Texts, pictures, ******** and anything else that will remind you of her. Don't reply to any of her messages. It's for the best.

[EoR]

She sounds cold as **** if she texted: "I am ready to to dump him lol". I feel there's more to the story, otherwise from what I read she really does sound like a bitch. To me she's cheated on your during the last 1.5 years.

[TelephoneLines]

she's taking a new cock every other day while you're sitting there imagining being with her, look at how fuked up that picture this. getting railed by all kinds of guys. she doesn't give a fuk about you, why should you give one single fuk about her? disregard her completely, I don't care if you've been going after her for months or years, stop it now. I don't care if you think you've put too much time in, stop it. stop thinking how great it would be with her, because it wouldn't. you're better than that. she's just another slut that you were infatuated with. shes average. shes nothing to you. I don't care if she texts you saying she misses you, don't respond. don't wait 2 hours then respond and think you're alpha, you're in the same fuking spot with her at the end. forget about her, work on your goals for life, aesthetics being one of them. when you're aesthetic as fuk, don't give a fuk, alpha and confident as fuk you know what will happen since you've been disregarding her? she will come to you like never before, and you can toy with her fuking emotions if you want. girls live off emotions, you think you're fuked with this oneitis, imagine how bad it will be for her when she sees how awesome you are and you aren't giving her any time. it will eat her inside, then you can eventually fuk her and disregard if you want, or just forget about her. it doesn't matter, you know why? because you're the ****ing man so start acting like it. stop feeling bad for yourself, stop fantasizing about her before you go to bed, stop fapping to her, stop all of this nonsense. you're going to look back and laugh at how dumb you were for being infatuated with this chick when there are tons of them out there, go get more. put yourself out there, lift heavy as fuk, work on ceo'ing, adopt the not a single **** was given attitude and watch your happiness rise to higher levels than ever before

[leafs43]

She caught a case of the dingalingitis from Jamal.

[lookinsmallbro]

Right now all you got is yourself brah. At least you got that. Be strong and use your energy on something productive. A woman should never be the highlight of your life or what you commit most of your energy to. Now you gotta grow up and learn to be alone.

[tattygun]

You've just got to lift hard, spend time having fun with friends and ride it out, certainly go no contact. Beyond disrespectful ending it on the phone, remember that fact everytime you feel like contacting her, don't be her bitch. Stay strong.

[Benny_Lava]

"im getting ready to dump him lol"


fuk girls are pathetic... heartless kunts. only have men in their lives for their own benefit.

[MSUSpartan1]

Cliffs added.

Sorry no pics for now Lol.

[MSUSpartan1]

You'll be fine brah. Will just take some time. Do things you enjoy and always keep busy. Focus on yourself and nothing else at this point. We're all going to make it.

Yeah I know I will be fine. It's just tough right now, but she was the love of my life, and I just feel like I wasn't important to her at all, and just feel stupid for thinking I was.

Just want to get over this grieving stage, and get over her.

[b0yer2]

Sucks man. Sorry to hear that. The best thing you can do right now is to detach yourself from her. Don't respond to her if she talks to you or anything like that. Take some time to reflect on what you had, but accept that it is over. This type of stuff happens, especially with college bfs and gfs. Once you get into the real world you sort of drift apart. really take some time off of dating too and actually deal with the break up. Start bettering yourself by reading, meditating, lifting, running, exploring yourself internally and hanging out with friends. Pursue your hobbies to take your mind off things.

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, just that she sort of lost feelings for you or wants to live her life without you. You should let her do it and let her see what it is like. If you go NC, I guarantee she will try reaching out to you. Ignore it unless you truly still want her back.

Time will heal this man. Really. I know you may not see it but time will fix it.

Also, she dumped you over the phone? After 5 years? Fuk that and fuk her.

[Wakaaa]

Exactly why relationships are straight up stupid unless you have the intention to marry the girl/guy.

Cons of dating

- time wasted
- bad reputations come at times
- less virgins
- more hurt and depression during breakups
- time that was spent with guy/girl could have been time you used to focus on yourself and be more productive, since the chances of the guy/girl leaving are high when the intention isn't marriage in the near future.

[DunkinD]

Sorry to hear bro - when I was your age I had the same thing happen to me. GF of 4 or 5 years end it with me. I was so upset. IT was very hard at first. I just tried to keep myself busy by going out as much as I can. Thats all you can do...your friends should be there for you.

But after my ex and I broke up I made the mistake of trying to get back with her. I did at a later point but things were never the same and I wasted I think 2 years of my life trying to get back with her and make things work. So please dont do that. Move on right now!

I forget when it was but close to the 2 years after being broke up I thought to myself what and I doing with my life - there are so many other girls out there. So I said to myself I am never going to respond to every again. I stuck with my plan and got over her. So as much as you are thinking about her now - dont contact her at all! You will only put yourself back to square one. Each day you dont talk to her the better you are.

Now many years down the line I have ran into my ex and have spoke to her. I dont have any hard feelings for her if I saw her at a bar I would catch up and see how things have been. She actually just wished me the best of luck on my engagement.

Good luck bro

[lightsarefallin]

What happens is that a lot of women stop caring for their boyfriends/husbands months, even years in advance but are too cowardly to do anything about it. Instead, they talk to their girlfriends about them but never bring the problems up in the relationship. Once she finally gets the balls to dump the guy, she's already totally over it and moves on right away whereas the man is left feeling confused, depressed, angry, etc.

This happened to my friend a few months ago. His ex hooked up with a guy the day after she broke it off with him, and at a club no less.

[Benny_Lava]

Yeah I know I will be fine. It's just tough right now, but she was the love of my life, and I just feel like I wasn't important to her at all, and just feel stupid for thinking I was.

Just want to get over this grieving stage, and get over her.

she wasnt the love of your life.

you loved her. thats it. or you loved who you thought she was.

the girl you spend your life with is the love of your life. and she probably wont be a heartless kunt like this one was.

it really sucks she had to be such a cold sloot about it. because at least in past relationships after I got over them, I'm able to look back on the good times and appreciate them and be happy about the time i spent with said person.

for you its gotta feel like you literally blew 5 years of your life.



anyway just move on man, nothing you can do. zero contact, that bitch isn't worth ANY of your time from here on out. she is not, and was not the love of your life. the real love of your life is out there somewhere right now.

[bemine]

Since your can't cliff for chit I'll cliff you my 3 year relationship.

- was good for 2 years
- gf started acting weird, depressed, crazy etc.
- she wanted to break it off but I wanted to know why, and she couldn't provide a solid answer

Turns out she was cheating on me for like 6 months straight. You'll be over the sloot in 6 weeks

[EnforcerOTF]

you got cheated on

f*ck her (not literally)

[SippinOnIceTeaz]

Do anything to keep busy, the 1st couple months are the worst but it does get better bro.

[moviebrah]

She's been cheating on you OP. No person can be that cold unless she is a sociopath or she is getting fukked by another guy. She will never tell you the true reason why she is ending things with you.

My advice? Block everything you have a connection with her on. Instagram, ********, snapchat, her phone number, and whatever else. Delete every single picture of you guys and throw away or box up anything she gave you. It's crucial you do all of this now before you have to stare at her with some other guy in her profile picture and get even more depressed

[momoneynoprblms]

Fuk man. Those are the worst feels I know.