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  1. #1
    Equity & Options NiR's Avatar
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    How to diss someone back

    ok this is kind of stupid but i have a problem dissing someone. this is what usually happens. me and my friends are hanging out and their are always girls around. we start talking and making fun of eachother.but its really hard for me to make fun of someone. in some situations a friend disses me but i just laugh it off or just give him the i am more mature look. it worked at first but now its just getting old. i dont want to look bad in front of the girls or anyone. i sometimes feel like i am getting disrespected. and no i am not just going to pound on the guy (i do mma) because he is my friend and they are all joking around. but it still kinda sucks when i dont come back with something. i want to be the joker but i am just bad at it. is there any way of like dissing someone right back in a fun way on the spot? or do u just have to be good at it and theres no way to learn it.
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  2. #2
    Disabled Miscr Lunatic's Avatar
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    "Quit trying to act hard in front these girls."
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  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by Lunatic
    "Quit trying to act hard in front these girls."
    believe me i am not the "hard" guy in the group. i am actually the quiet guy. but i am trying to break out of it since it just gets boring. it would be nice to join in on the disses sometimes. sucks when i have no comebacks. i just look like a punk.
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  4. #4
    OMNISCIENT. RiK's Avatar
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    I completely understand your situation. I see it all the time and i've even experienced it. Even the submissive pussies start using their mates as the but of their jokes! If any of my mates would try it on me, i wouldn't try to comeback with a particulary witty retort - rather do or say anything to embarass them to the extreme. You only have to do it once. Say something untrue if necessary. They will soon get the picture that if they make fun of you, they get it back and then some.
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  5. #5
    Disabled Miscr Lunatic's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by NiR
    believe me i am not the "hard" guy in the group. i am actually the quiet guy. but i am trying to break out of it since it just gets boring. it would be nice to join in on the disses sometimes. sucks when i have no comebacks. i just look like a punk.
    No, I was telling you to tell your friend that
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  6. #6
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    Originally Posted by RiK
    I completely understand your situation. I see it all the time and i've even experienced it. Even the submissive pussies start using their mates as the but of their jokes! If any of my mates would try it on me, i wouldn't try to comeback with a particulary witty retort - rather do or say anything to embarass them to the extreme. You only have to do it once. Say something untrue if necessary. They will soon get the picture that if they make fun of you, they get it back and then some.

    hah nice. ya actually i am looking for ways to improve my witty reply on the spot. that skill would be nice.

    are their any books or something?
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  7. #7
    Kyokushinkai Persian Warrior's Avatar
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    It requires a little practice.

    You friend is being an ass he knows you have no dissing skills so hes havin a field day making you look small in front of the ladies.

    No LoL ! MMA will not do anything if you want to keep your friendship with this joker.

    Your afraid to say something back because you think you'll fall on your ass but guess what if you don't you already have fallen so you have nothing to loose in coming up with a witty comeback.

    Relax clear your mind, be spontaneous and think, "I dont give a damn what those girls or this joker thinks of me." this has to be your mindset.

    Then let your tongue loose it helps if you have some dirt on him that you can use.

    If you feel your comebacks arent that great always remember to wink and smile at the ladies this helps to make a poor or a slow comeback sound better then it actually is.

    The more you practice this the better you get at it. Yeah some people are natural characters but then some can work at it.

    Either that or you can play the role of the strong silent type.
    Last edited by Persian Warrior; 09-11-2004 at 10:28 AM.
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  8. #8
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  9. #9
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    Originally Posted by Lunatic
    No, I was telling you to tell your friend that
    o ..sorry.
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  10. #10
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    It use to happen with me, sometimes it still does but I turned into a sarcastic bastard.

    "I just had an image of [something sick to do with me] *laugh*"
    Me: "Haha, yeah, and your the one thinking about it".
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  11. #11
    Equity & Options NiR's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Persian Warrior
    It requires a little practice.

    You friend is being an ass he knows you have no dissing skills so hes havin a field day making you look small in front of the ladies.

    No LoL ! MMA will not do anything if you want to keep your friendship with this joker.

    Your afraid to say something back because you think you'll fall on your ass but guess what if you don't you already have fallen so you have nothing to loose in coming up with a witty comeback.

    Relax clear your mind, be spontaneous and think, "I dont give a damn what those girls or this joker thinks of me." this has to be your mindset.

    Then let your tongue loose it helps if you have some dirt on him that you can use.

    If you feel your comebacks arent that great always remember to wink and smile at the ladies this helps to make a poor or a slow comeback sound better then it actually is.

    The more you practice this the better you get at it. Yeah some people are natural characters but then some can work at it.

    Either that or you can play the role of the strong silent type.
    nice reply. ya i guess i have to work at it.
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  12. #12
    i Stand Ablaze's Avatar
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    Keep any real dirt you have on him for a better time though I say.

    Don't let all the dirt out at once, because it'll sound silly using it over and over.
    If you have two things that are against him, use one, and then if he keeps going use the other, ONLY if he is getting worse.

    Basically it's reserving Ammo
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  13. #13
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    Originally Posted by Stand Ablaze
    Keep any real dirt you have on him for a better time though I say.

    Don't let all the dirt out at once, because it'll sound silly using it over and over.
    If you have two things that are against him, use one, and then if he keeps going use the other, ONLY if he is getting worse.

    Basically it's reserving Ammo

    its not just one guy. its just alot of friends in random. everyone is dissing everyone and i am included in that "everyone." i guess i just need to get better on on the spot witty remarks. i cant possibly have dirt on everyone.
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  14. #14
    The Maniacal Megatron bobo_007's Avatar
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    well

    1) use ur brain

    2) use ur brawn

    3) know your freinds weakness (acne, small penis, stupidity, alleged gay incident, poor dress sense)

    4) disown your friends and become an introvert

    5) carry a gun, and when insulted, casually lift your shirt, and introduce your shiney friend, and say, cooly

    'what you gonna say now punk bitch'

    but the problem is, if he retorts, and insults you further, you HAVE to pistol whip him
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  15. #15
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    Originally Posted by bobo_007
    1) use ur brain

    2) use ur brawn

    3) know your freinds weakness (acne, small penis, stupidity, alleged gay incident, poor dress sense)

    4) disown your friends and become an introvert

    5) carry a gun, and when insulted, casually lift your shirt, and introduce your shiney friend, and say, cooly

    'what you gonna say now punk bitch'

    but the problem is, if he retorts, and insults you further, you HAVE to pistol whip him
    lol
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  16. #16
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    Originally Posted by Lunatic
    "Quit trying to act hard in front these girls."

    Bump

    This works very well.. the person gets all embarrased, and suddenly everyone gets quiet and looks at him, including the girls haha.

    He will prolly have lame comeback like. "i'm not trying to act hard"

    The moment he says that... free reign of insults.
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    Thumbs up

    Just say you'll put a cap in his bottom.
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  18. #18
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    Originally Posted by NiR
    ok this is kind of stupid but i have a problem dissing someone. this is what usually happens. me and my friends are hanging out and their are always girls around. we start talking and making fun of eachother.but its really hard for me to make fun of someone. in some situations a friend disses me but i just laugh it off or just give him the i am more mature look. it worked at first but now its just getting old. i dont want to look bad in front of the girls or anyone. i sometimes feel like i am getting disrespected. and no i am not just going to pound on the guy (i do mma) because he is my friend and they are all joking around. but it still kinda sucks when i dont come back with something. i want to be the joker but i am just bad at it. is there any way of like dissing someone right back in a fun way on the spot? or do u just have to be good at it and theres no way to learn it.
    Instead of learning how to diss people, you should learn how to shut up. Or do you acquire that skill already?
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  19. #19
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    Thumbs up

    Originally Posted by Persian Warrior
    Then let your tongue loose it helps if you have some dirt on him that you can use.
    Amen to that!!! I am a firm believer that sometimes you have to give people enough rope to hang themselves with!!! The online version of this is when a reviewer in Amazon.Com raked the Lord of the Rings trilogy over the coals for being ripped off of Star Wars. Needless to say, tons of people pointed out to him that Tolkien's novels came out decades before Star Wars. LMAO

    I would also suggest that you have to learn when to pick your battles. Sometimes you gotta diss back, and sometimes you have to realize you are caught in quicksand and it ain't worth it.
    1. I thought all along you'd be the death of me, but I met one tonight who wants what's left of me!
    2. You are so full of s***, maintenance is still unclogging the toilet.
    3. Save a horse, ride a cowboy!
    4. This mission does not exist, nor will it ever exist.
    5. I'd like to check you for ticks.
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  20. #20
    Ovulating Letsbefriends01's Avatar
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    Maybe I'm out of the loop. What is MMA? Martial Arts?
    Last edited by Letsbefriends01; 09-11-2004 at 03:42 PM.
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    Ruthless4Life Ruthless4Life's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by weltweitefurcht
    Bump

    This works very well.. the person gets all embarrased, and suddenly everyone gets quiet and looks at him, including the girls haha.

    He will prolly have lame comeback like. "i'm not trying to act hard"

    The moment he says that... free reign of insults.
    How about just stay quiet, and when the other guy's done, say something like, "Say all you want, but at the end of the day, I'm still the one...

    a) making more money
    b) getting the chicks
    c) better than you at ______________

    etc.

    And smile to intimidate him.
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  22. #22
    Above average aas abuser. sikboy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by NiR
    ok this is kind of stupid but i have a problem dissing someone. this is what usually happens. me and my friends are hanging out and their are always girls around. we start talking and making fun of eachother.but its really hard for me to make fun of someone. in some situations a friend disses me but i just laugh it off or just give him the i am more mature look. it worked at first but now its just getting old. i dont want to look bad in front of the girls or anyone. i sometimes feel like i am getting disrespected. and no i am not just going to pound on the guy (i do mma) because he is my friend and they are all joking around. but it still kinda sucks when i dont come back with something. i want to be the joker but i am just bad at it. is there any way of like dissing someone right back in a fun way on the spot? or do u just have to be good at it and theres no way to learn it.
    Man, you have issues.
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    Registered User bluemarlin04's Avatar
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    just say something dumb to him. I do that all the time. Girls like it when you look like a dumbass. Dont think just say whatever comes to ur mind. Its really not hard.
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    Originally Posted by Lunatic
    "Quit trying to act hard in front these girls."
    some girls dont like that/
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    Originally Posted by Ruthless4Life
    Instead of learning how to diss people, you should learn how to shut up. Or do you acquire that skill already?
    that was unnecessary
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    I'm actually really good at making up comebacks and such, but I've always been like that so I don't really know if it's a skill that you can work at. If you're someone who just really can't think no his feet, then my best advice would be to just use the corniest/most unfunny/cliche diss you can think of. Just use a played out "yo momma" joke or something, if you have the right personality then you can generally be pretty funny with this technique......
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    oh yeah, another thing you could try, is, find something you can make fun of someone for, and just keep using it no matter how random it is. Say your friend is wearing a pink or yellow shirt. No matter how he disses you, just respond by saying "hey, nice shirt man".
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    say something random...

    'Give me back my jacket! What do you mean WHAT?! I let you borrow it you poor sack of shyt, now fukin give it back.. Really this habit has to stop bla blah blah

    He'll know hes on the spot trying to deny it when you sound serious as hell.
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    You kno mma right? Jus fukin thai kick him right in the leg...Thats what i always do when my friends begin to talk ****...n the great thing about is...you only have to use it once. Heres a scenario that happened with me one of my frineds..

    all in a van comin back from the beach had a couple of girls in tehre. I was sittin in the front...n we had a couple of girls with us. Well my friend thoguth hed be smart n played that fukin stupid punch buggy no punch back **** n kept smackin me in teh head even when there was no punchbuggy or nothin jus to be funny with the girls. ..I jus said "eric..knock the **** off"..well he didnt so..as were gettin outta the van hes unpackin teh stuff...In i walk up behind n yell punch buggy n land the hardest thai kick i could throw right on his thy...jus blindsided him...he was on the ground for like 5 minutes goin:

    "O u bastard..gaw dam u bastard"...n the funny thing he had a long red welt on his leg of my shin goin straight across his thy haha...

    True i complelty blindsided him with a muay thai kick....but he has yet to talk **** again...N WERe still friends lol
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  30. #30
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    Originally Posted by Colby
    You kno mma right? Jus fukin thai kick him right in the leg...Thats what i always do when my friends begin to talk ****...n the great thing about is...you only have to use it once. Heres a scenario that happened with me one of my frineds..

    all in a van comin back from the beach had a couple of girls in tehre. I was sittin in the front...n we had a couple of girls with us. Well my friend thoguth hed be smart n played that fukin stupid punch buggy no punch back **** n kept smackin me in teh head even when there was no punchbuggy or nothin jus to be funny with the girls. ..I jus said "eric..knock the **** off"..well he didnt so..as were gettin outta the van hes unpackin teh stuff...In i walk up behind n yell punch buggy n land the hardest thai kick i could throw right on his thy...jus blindsided him...he was on the ground for like 5 minutes goin:

    "O u bastard..gaw dam u bastard"...n the funny thing he had a long red welt on his leg of my shin goin straight across his thy haha...

    True i complelty blindsided him with a muay thai kick....but he has yet to talk **** again...N WERe still friends lol
    lol
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