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  1. #1
    Keep going The_Reaper's Avatar
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    When your girlfriend talks about "the future".

    I'm only 21. My gf is 24. I am not planning on getting married any time soon - late twenties anyway.

    I don't see myself with this girl forever - I've only been in one other relationship before her and I don't feel experienced enough. I want to make the most of life, I'm too young to be tied down. Don't get me wrong - she's a fantastic girl.

    Now, she's starting to talk about our future together - what will we do, what am I going to do, that kind of thing. I don't know what to tell her. How to I diffuse this? What's the best way of dealing with something like this?
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  2. #2
    Need deltz Slashed's Avatar
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    Say something like you dont know what the future holds. Just take things as they come.
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  3. #3
    MegaRoll ChplHillGymGirl's Avatar
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    tell her the truth. tell her you aren't sure, you just want to take things one day at a time. if she can't handle that, so be it.
    I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

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  4. #4
    Jailbait Magnet Gibblets's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by The_Reaper View Post
    I'm only 21. My gf is 24. I am not planning on getting married any time soon - late twenties anyway.

    I don't see myself with this girl forever - I've only been in one other relationship before her and I don't feel experienced enough. I want to make the most of life, I'm too young to be tied down. Don't get me wrong - she's a fantastic girl.

    Now, she's starting to talk about our future together - what will we do, what am I going to do, that kind of thing. I don't know what to tell her. How to I diffuse this? What's the best way of dealing with something like this?
    Well, I take it that she hasn't come out and asked you straight up if you'll ever propose. For now, she's probably just analyzing the relationship and (completely contrary to what you might think) pondering her other options! She's thinking right now, as women always do about all the what ifs and all that other crap. You'd figure why can't they just enjoy the present, but hey, that's the way it is. They worry about a future that may or may not happen...lol.

    Just tell her that you have no idea what the future holds. Be funny about it and say something like "babe, I don't even know what I'm eating for dinner tonight...haha" then look at her, put on your game face, and say "all I know is that I'm with you now, and I love being with you and you only"

    And leave it at that.
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  5. #5
    Keep going The_Reaper's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Gibblets View Post
    Well, I take it that she hasn't come out and asked you straight up if you'll ever propose. For now, she's probably just analyzing the relationship and (completely contrary to what you might think) pondering her other options! She's thinking right now, as women always do about all the what ifs and all that other crap. You'd figure why can't they just enjoy the present, but hey, that's the way it is. They worry about a future that may or may not happen...lol.

    Just tell her that you have no idea what the future holds. Be funny about it and say something like "babe, I don't even know what I'm eating for dinner tonight...haha" then look at her, put on your game face, and say "all I know is that I'm with you now, and I love being with you and you only"

    And leave it at that.


    repped, good post
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  6. #6
    Registered User dirtyram's Avatar
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    ya im 20 and my gf is 21 and she talks about that stuff all the time. i feel uncomfortable every time she brings it up. She is also my 1st serious g/f so i dont have nearly enough experience. I dont no if i can take the plunge. I need other experiences and when im good and ready and out of college with a est. job then maybe i can talk about that stuff you know.
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  7. #7
    Registered User dropshot001's Avatar
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    i normally say something to lighten the situation as those "future" talks can get pretty intense, esp if she's thought of many scenarios.
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  8. #8
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    Best response to this type of situtation.....brought to you by George Lopez:

    "I'm here aint I???"
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  9. #9
    bRooKLYn, nY shlomo's Avatar
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    my girl is exactly the oppisite when she mentions the future she doesent mention me and she tells me she loves me bla bla bla but she always tells me yea you better tell your children about me but its really werid id rather her think that we have a future
    live like their is no tomorrow becuase tomorrow is never promised
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  10. #10
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    Originally Posted by The_Reaper View Post
    I'm only 21. My gf is 24. I am not planning on getting married any time soon - late twenties anyway.

    I don't see myself with this girl forever - I've only been in one other relationship before her and I don't feel experienced enough. I want to make the most of life, I'm too young to be tied down. Don't get me wrong - she's a fantastic girl.

    Now, she's starting to talk about our future together - what will we do, what am I going to do, that kind of thing. I don't know what to tell her. How to I diffuse this? What's the best way of dealing with something like this?
    slap her.
    haaaaay
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  11. #11
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    Man I've been in this situation before but more extreme.
    I was in the military my girlfriend of 5 months was telling me she wanted to be engaged before I left overseas. I kept putting her off, I was 19 and she was 21. She continually tried to force me into an engagement and it forced me further away from her. I constantly had to explain to her that I wasn't ready to get married and possibly leave her a widow. After her trying to get preganant and force my hand that way, she eventually broke up with me because I didn't want it. Do I wish I was still sleeping with her everynight? YES. Do I wish I had married her? HELL NO.

    The best thing you can do is try to explain, tactfully, that you're not thinking that far ahead and you don't plan on thinking about it for another few years. If she persists, you should drop her because you shouldn't be forced to spend the rest of your life with someone because they are ready to take the next step.
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  12. #12
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    Why are you in a relationship if you don't plan on it lasting?
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  13. #13
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    What this chick says

    Originally Posted by ChplHillGymGirl View Post
    tell her the truth. tell her you aren't sure, you just want to take things one day at a time. if she can't handle that, so be it.


    Word.



    COMMUNICATE!!!


    tell her "you know dude, I just dont really think about it, I dont wanna be crass but Im not sure If I even want children, with you, with anybody. Your the only real relationship I've had, Im a lot younger then you."

    and yes...if your thinking like this you are A LOT younger then her, mentally, AND THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!

    pretty soon she's gonna start to "forget" her pill or something, then a "happy little suprise" thats gonna "straiten you up" is gonna happen because she just LOVES YOU SO ****ING MUCH..

    dont be a tool...you better handle this quick, like a man would.
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  14. #14
    Registered User younggunz20's Avatar
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    Round house to the dome, just sayin...
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  15. #15
    Antrozous Vespertilio neowings's Avatar
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    I hate to say this again, buy her a "flux capacitor" and put it in her car. Then she will know the answer.

    Seriously, it's not wrong to set a future goals but if you are looking forward to it too much, you will not enjoy the journey.
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  16. #16
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    Originally Posted by The_Reaper View Post
    I'm only 21. My gf is 24. I am not planning on getting married any time soon - late twenties anyway.

    I don't see myself with this girl forever - I've only been in one other relationship before her and I don't feel experienced enough. I want to make the most of life, I'm too young to be tied down. Don't get me wrong - she's a fantastic girl.

    Now, she's starting to talk about our future together - what will we do, what am I going to do, that kind of thing. I don't know what to tell her. How to I diffuse this? What's the best way of dealing with something like this?
    Tell her that or if you are a risk taker give me the number and i'll tell her.
    “Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris.”
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  17. #17
    Keep going The_Reaper's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by xer0xed View Post
    Why are you in a relationship if you don't plan on it lasting?

    I don't share those views. I think it's sad for a person to be with only one person throughout their lives; there is no room to grow psychologically, you need to get a frame of reference so you know how good or how bad you have it when you settle down. Experience enriches the mind, in my view.
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  18. #18
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    Originally Posted by The_Reaper View Post
    I don't share those views. I think it's sad for a person to be with only one person throughout their lives; there is no room to grow psychologically, you need to get a frame of reference so you know how good or how bad you have it when you settle down. Experience enriches the mind, in my view.
    Then why not just stay single and/or date while making it known it's just for fun?
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  19. #19
    We are all one kcomico's Avatar
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    talk about the past :l
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  20. #20
    Registered User nightrain36's Avatar
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    honestly tell her the truth. If you lie and say you're in it for the long run when you do break up with her it's going to get ugly and you're going to crush her. if you say I don't know and keep her on edge these questions are going to keep coming up and you;re causing yourself more annoying nights. Believe me, from my experience, its the best thing to do
    Champions are not born. They are built.

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  21. #21
    ★Platinum Account★ SamiMate's Avatar
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    --------------------------

    7 years in the future: SamiMate brings up an old as fuarkk thread.

    The question on everyones mind:

    IS OP MARRIED?
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  22. #22
    Registered User Mn8's Avatar
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    epic bump. OP hasn't been online since Dec 20, 2012. Stay safe OP stay safe.
    I'm just a dog in this game, I can't complain 'cause most of you bitches be offin' the chain.
    Me I got stick for ya, here's a good lick for ya, besides the bouncing I can't do $hit for ya.
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  23. #23
    Registered User b0yer2's Avatar
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    Honesty, trust and communication are the keys to any relationship. If you are unsure, you need to be upfront and tell her why. She will either handle it or not, but you have to be prepared for her to pack up and leave if she is not happy.

    You said it yourself you do not see yourself marrying her, so what's the point of staying with her?
    b0yer- Monster By May Log- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=159121171&p=1183014941#post1183014941
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