I'm only 21. My gf is 24. I am not planning on getting married any time soon - late twenties anyway.
I don't see myself with this girl forever - I've only been in one other relationship before her and I don't feel experienced enough. I want to make the most of life, I'm too young to be tied down. Don't get me wrong - she's a fantastic girl.
Now, she's starting to talk about our future together - what will we do, what am I going to do, that kind of thing. I don't know what to tell her. How to I diffuse this? What's the best way of dealing with something like this?
04-30-2007, 09:17 AM #1
When your girlfriend talks about "the future".
04-30-2007, 09:18 AM #2
04-30-2007, 09:18 AM #3
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04-30-2007, 09:20 AM #4
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Just tell her that you have no idea what the future holds. Be funny about it and say something like "babe, I don't even know what I'm eating for dinner tonight...haha" then look at her, put on your game face, and say "all I know is that I'm with you now, and I love being with you and you only"
And leave it at that.The Chronicles of Gibblets
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04-30-2007, 09:31 AM #5
04-30-2007, 10:01 AM #6
ya im 20 and my gf is 21 and she talks about that stuff all the time. i feel uncomfortable every time she brings it up. She is also my 1st serious g/f so i dont have nearly enough experience. I dont no if i can take the plunge. I need other experiences and when im good and ready and out of college with a est. job then maybe i can talk about that stuff you know.
04-30-2007, 11:11 AM #7
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04-30-2007, 11:12 AM #8
04-30-2007, 12:02 PM #9
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my girl is exactly the oppisite when she mentions the future she doesent mention me and she tells me she loves me bla bla bla but she always tells me yea you better tell your children about me but its really werid id rather her think that we have a futurelive like their is no tomorrow becuase tomorrow is never promised
04-30-2007, 01:10 PM #10
04-30-2007, 02:01 PM #11
Man I've been in this situation before but more extreme.
I was in the military my girlfriend of 5 months was telling me she wanted to be engaged before I left overseas. I kept putting her off, I was 19 and she was 21. She continually tried to force me into an engagement and it forced me further away from her. I constantly had to explain to her that I wasn't ready to get married and possibly leave her a widow. After her trying to get preganant and force my hand that way, she eventually broke up with me because I didn't want it. Do I wish I was still sleeping with her everynight? YES. Do I wish I had married her? HELL NO.
The best thing you can do is try to explain, tactfully, that you're not thinking that far ahead and you don't plan on thinking about it for another few years. If she persists, you should drop her because you shouldn't be forced to spend the rest of your life with someone because they are ready to take the next step.Motivated, Dedicated, Lethal
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04-30-2007, 02:12 PM #12
04-30-2007, 02:25 PM #13
What this chick says
tell her "you know dude, I just dont really think about it, I dont wanna be crass but Im not sure If I even want children, with you, with anybody. Your the only real relationship I've had, Im a lot younger then you."
and yes...if your thinking like this you are A LOT younger then her, mentally, AND THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!
pretty soon she's gonna start to "forget" her pill or something, then a "happy little suprise" thats gonna "straiten you up" is gonna happen because she just LOVES YOU SO ****ING MUCH..
dont be a tool...you better handle this quick, like a man would.
04-30-2007, 03:46 PM #14
04-30-2007, 03:46 PM #15
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04-30-2007, 03:49 PM #16
04-30-2007, 04:11 PM #17
I don't share those views. I think it's sad for a person to be with only one person throughout their lives; there is no room to grow psychologically, you need to get a frame of reference so you know how good or how bad you have it when you settle down. Experience enriches the mind, in my view.
04-30-2007, 04:24 PM #18
04-30-2007, 06:51 PM #19
04-30-2007, 06:54 PM #20
honestly tell her the truth. If you lie and say you're in it for the long run when you do break up with her it's going to get ugly and you're going to crush her. if you say I don't know and keep her on edge these questions are going to keep coming up and you;re causing yourself more annoying nights. Believe me, from my experience, its the best thing to doChampions are not born. They are built.
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01-29-2014, 01:50 AM #21
01-29-2014, 05:31 AM #22
01-29-2014, 06:17 AM #23
Honesty, trust and communication are the keys to any relationship. If you are unsure, you need to be upfront and tell her why. She will either handle it or not, but you have to be prepared for her to pack up and leave if she is not happy.
You said it yourself you do not see yourself marrying her, so what's the point of staying with her?b0yer- Monster By May Log- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=159121171&p=1183014941#post1183014941
04-26-2015, 10:22 PM #24
04-26-2015, 11:53 PM #25
You need to be honest with this girl. Whatever you do, don't lead her on. Tell her right now, in this stage of your life, you are just taking everything day-by-day and you don't see yourself "settling down" anytime soon. You need to see if you can be on the same wavelength and page with this girl because, if you can't, you need to find someone that you can or it will lead to nothing pain, for both of you.
04-29-2015, 04:19 AM #26
What is wrong with talking about the future? Sounds like you are avoiding the situation rather than face being honest with her that you don't want to get married to her. Just be honest. She may leave you. That is a reality. I wouldn't waste my time on someone I wasn't going to marry.
Relationships are too damn hard for them to be destined to fail.
Be honest. What happens happens. Don't lie or try to defuse an inevitable situation.Currently making gains on Wendler 5/3/1.
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