18 years old and getting to know my life from the inside...

[knicks30]

I have been fat and overweight all my life. And yes i know im pathetic for being over-weight but im trying my best now to lose this weight. Starting my junior year of H.S i remember i was 265 at 5'9 and by the end of my senior year i was 284 5'11. After i graduated i got a job as a pizza delivery boy and when i didnt have deliveries i would eat my ass off. I then realized i was gaining more weight and i had to quit. Although i did quit i still ate pretty horribly.

It wasnt until december i went for a physical to check my "first" lipid profile. My doc said everything looked good, my blood sugar level was perfect at 107 everything was fine. I was weighed after that and i was at 292 lbs!! After that he checked my blood pressure and it was at 150/95 and then something just clicked in my head and i had to change my life around. I got a copy of my lipid and to surprize, something that my doc didnt tell me was that my cholesterol was a bit high although he did say my Triglycerides was a bit high. Total=204, LDL=105, HDL=44, Triglycerides=273. After that i just looked at myself in the mirror and layed in bed at night for countless hours thinking "why am i doing this to myself?" I was completely sendentary and was just eating!

I decided to change my life around and said "man i want to be healthy!!!" I now have lost 32 pounds now at 260 which is what i weight at the end of my sophmore year in H.S! and i will continue to lose more! I eat healthier and i exersise. My blood pressure has dropped to around 115-130 over 70-75 although its high at the Docs office due to White Coat Syndrome. And NO i am not on no fad diet like the atkins or the south beat diet.

Although through all of this, losing 32 pounds and going! and lowering my blood pressure and eating healthier i dont feel right. Im losing weight and i feel like ****. Physically people are telling me wow your losing weight and i feel stronger but emotionally i feel like ****. I due suffer from a bit of anxiety and i just wonder that i ate like hell all of my 18 years being here ....what if i was too late? Maybe i have coronary heart disease but just dont know? And i wondered and wondered so i went to a cadiologist to get my heart checked out. He used and ultrasound of the heart(ECG) and electrocardiogram(EKG) and a holter monitor. Everything was normal and good but those tests dont detect any blockages in the arteries a Stress Test does but my cardiologist never issued one. So i still always wonder what if? My grandmother died of CAD at 54(was diagnosed in her mid 30's). I dont know i just hope im not too late because i really want to be healthy now and i want to be lean and in shape and i just kick myself in the ass for not thinking like this earlier in my life.

Have any of you heard anyone young at my age to have blockages in their arteries? I know kids get heart disease but its usually because their valves are not functioning properly and they have a congenital defect but can someone at my age have blockages or worse yet sustain a heart attack? thats the **** that scares me.

My ideal weight is at 180 and i have to lose like 80 lbs more but i now know i can finally do it and live healthy i just i hope i can be more healthier in my mind cause the mind does play tricks on you.

[iMikus]

Congratulations! The best thing you can do, is what you are doing now! Thing's will only get better if you keep pushing yourself. I can understand your concern for you cardio health, but to be 100% honest with you, I don't think at this point you have any thing to worry about. Generally, it doesn't develop until later in life from what I understand, and if you keep going on the track you are on now, you'll have no worries whatsoever.

I myself was overweight, and i myself went from 228, down to about 199 right now (nothing compared to your great accomplishment, but an example none the less). I'm 18 as well, and I can kind of relate to how you are thinking right now, because i'm in the same state of mind myself. I wouldn't let the idea of having a cardio problem get you down, because the chance is slim, and you have a lot to look forward too (that 180 isn't probably as far out as you may think).

Good luck, and good health for life, Mike

[bakers11]

Keep at it, you are doing the right thing and your goal is very much within your reach. It sounds like you have the determination and the right frame of mind, now all it takes is hard work and time. Do as much research on nutrition and exercise that you can. Get into cardio activities that you enjoy and start lifting, you will feel so much better.

Most people in your position are under a lot of stress and they have similar thoughts and worries as you do. If you are really worried about your mental state, you should talk to your doctor about it. If he asks you to see a counselor, do so as it will be someone you can talk to openly.

Good luck on your journey and change in your life.

[LadyStarlight]

Hey Kicks,

I really can't answer your question, but I would think you're fine! Reassure yourself about reading up on it to see though. With the tests you've had, and that you feel fine physically, if I were you I wouldn't worry at all. Age is on your side! Yea, my dad died at 44 of a heart attack and my mother sometime in her late 50's..........anyway, you're doing the right and best thing for yourself! You feel good physically now and soon you'll feel wonderful.....when your mind starts trying to play tricks on you, just keep reminding yourself how good you feel now and tell it to shut the f*** up!

[cobra1100]

YOur story sounds alot like mine. I too suffered from being overwieght for a big part of my life. i was always about 30-40 pounds overweight at around 20-30% bodyfat. But i got thigns together and now i am 11% bodyfat at 190 pounds 6'1. I woudl highly reccomend a good nutritionist. The reason you may be feelign down could be because you are not getting the proper nutrition. A good nurtitionist will give you a great fat loss diet and vitamin plan. Thats how i did it combined with a strict workout/cardio routine. The right foods may help you feel mentally better.
You also said that you have had anxiety for a good part of your life as i did as well and still do form time to time. The anxiety i had put me in a mild state of depression that for a logn tiem i was unaware of. Eating made me feel better and i think that is why i ate so much when i was younger-food releases happy/satisfying chemicals in the brain which make you feel good. This is why many people are overweight. I would reccomend to you that you see a doctor as well and tell him that you have been feeling down lately. Worry goes hand in hand with anxiety and mild depression. So i think that all your worries are just the anxiety talkign too much as they did with me.
I belive you will be fine. You are young and shoudlnt be worryign about this so much. Dont let your thoughts take you down. And everyday when you start to feel down tell yourself "Never surrender" and move right along and in the end you will Win.

A

[Shatter]

I've never been particularly overweight but I always feel like **** when I'm in a calorie deficit. I suggest you stick to losing weight for a bit longer, then try maintaining for awhile, before you lose anymore weight. It'll help keep you sane and you'll probably start feeling a lot better.

[knicks30]

wow thanks alot guys....this has made me feel better i guess i have to go see my doctor about my anxiety problem and probably go see a nutrionist. Ill do whatever possible (that is the RIGHT way) to be healthy!

[bakers11]

Good luck Knicks and keep us posted!

[S4V4G3]

its good to see your moticated about this! good job at getting started and keep up and bump on the progress posts to !!

[Stannian]

I can't really answer your question, but I know that there was a thread about the psycological issue you are talking about. You should read that, It will probably help.

[stroked80z28]

Hey knicks I know what you are going through. I am 17 and have been overweight most of my life and at the beginning of 2004 decided to change myself. I went from 260 at 6' to 225. I feel alot better and everyone notices my weight loss but I know what you mean about depression. I tried different anti-depressants, but they just screwed up my sleep cycle and made me edgy. I have found the thing that helps me the most is having someone to talk to. It sounds kinda gay, but you will feel alot better once you get everything off your chest. Another thing that I found helps is going to bed and waking up at the same time everyday, even on the weekends. I dont mean right down to the minute, but within an hour or so. I have also almost eliminated caffiene from my diet and that helped too. I still have about 20 lbs to go, but reading this message board has helped motivate me alot. Good Luck and good progress

[OhioMD]

Most humans don't have problems with there cholesterol and other fattly acids. That being said, there are some of us that have lost the "genetic lottery" and inherited(genetically) poor mechanisms for transporting and storing cholesterol(on a molecular level). These diseases are called "Dislipidemias". This results in having CAD much earlier than expected in the normal population(extreme examples of young children 10-11yo reported haveing heart attacks).
There has been striking evedence of seeing artherosclerosis in younger and younger patients, there are even reports of seeing "fatty streaks" in the arteries of patients as young as 18 years old(those without a dislipidemia)- fatty streaks being the begining of what will become and Arthrosclerotic plaque in your artery.

[phillipguru]

hey i know how you feel, i went from 360ish to now 287 and my goal is 260. im only around 27 lbs from my goal and i still feel like a fat peice of crap even though people say i look so much better......its mental man....get some psychiatric help it will be of great benefit to you...or get into a group therapy session

[DeezGst]

It was also a medical condition that got me to loose weight initially.

In December of 2002, I woke up one morning with HORRIBLE chest pains, I couldn't breath, my heart was pounding, sweating...I thought holy **** I'm 21 and going to die of a heart attack...so I drove myself to an emergency doctors office. They took me in and hooked me up to all these machines which totally freaked me out. The panic only made everything worse...Turns out everything was fine, the doctor concluded that I had GERDS, or acid reflux diesase. This was later confirmed by some test I had at the hospital. This really made me look at myself differently. I was so scared that I really was going to have a heart attack. The doctor gave me a list of foods to avoid etc.. and I cutt back and lost 20-30lbs just from that (no excersize). Then a summer vacation trip in 2003 with some of my friends that hit the gym regularly was all the rest of the fuel I needed to get in the gym and get in shape. The rest is history.

Congrats on your loss thus far!

Derek