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  1. #5821
    keep going kitebean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Miranda View Post
    i vote for understanding the difference between a 'need' and a 'want'.

    then you can want what you need
    I think that's my point - after all these years of focusing on the feelings, I finally feel I can tell and understand the difference. Not the difference between life and death, that's ridiculous, but the difference between good and not so good. sub optimal and more optimal. And perhaps paradoxically, it's made it easier for me to control my food intake.

    I am over blaming myself or pretending that my chemistry is the same as anyone elses. I am also OK with the fact that there is a price to pay for being a badass (I stole this quote) in terms of chemical compromise: cortisol, insulin, etc. etc. and my individual hormonal soup. It's my choice, and my challenge to manage.
    when ego is lost, limit is lost

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  2. #5822
    keep going kitebean's Avatar
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    Test 1 - july 2013

    OK ladies, in my quest to optimise my health, body comp and 'feeling' of well being, this is my plan for JULY. In future months, I may change the format of this to be more of a START-STOP-KEEP approach, but for now I will log my baseline of Training Plan, Supplements, General Nutrition Parameters, and additional related activity. I have also started to wear my Bodymedia again, mainly to measure my steps and sleeping, not my caloric expenditure, because I don't find that particularly useful. I am also not planning to measure food by weight, with the exception of my PWO Kumara (see below). Please note that although it is important for me to stay lean (and perhaps get leaner) my main imperative is to optimize my mental performance, feeling of well being, refreshed, energized, inspired, and open. And I firmly believe that there I an optimal combination of food, exercise, sleep and supplementation that is right for me and only me; that’s what’s right today might not be right tomorrow, and that the only way to get there is to try. This also includes respecting my joy of training, the pleasure that it brings me, and figuring out a way to ensure that is preserved. This is about OBSERVING (and not necessarily reacting) and being in the present moment.

    A little background for those who may be new to me and a quick update of what's been going on for me for the past 20 months or so.
    August 2011, as a result of Post Traumatic Stress from the Christchurch earthquakes, I fell into what I can only describe as a physical burnout. My hypothalamus had down regulated, and my physical and emotional response to the tragedy was MORE activity, MORE MORE MORE of everything, faster physically, harder emotionally (I was teaching at risk youth at this time) and a shut-it-out mentality about the severity of the challenge and the situation. I thought I was fine; my body protested. I was having blank-outs, totally in a daze most of the time, and most profoundly for me, I reached a point cycling where I physically could not work the pedals. Very very scary. Didn't want to go to the doctor because my previous doctor was killed in the earthquake - finally I had no choice. Found a great holistic MD who put me on adrenal support, iodine, 7-Keto. Wanted desperately to put me on anti-depressants but I resisted. I left my job and had about a month to rest and recover before taking a job in Wellington and moving islands.

    2012-Present - In brief, continued to recover, did a distance event (100km 28 hour walk) but otherwise much less training - still averaging 5 days per week in the gym, but practically no other endurance work. Weight at beginning of 2012 was probably around 59kg - got back to 56-57kg by about October. At that point I was feeling pretty good, and considering getting into more endurance stuff again. Read a book called "The Art and Science of Low Carbohydrate Performance" and had a lot of interesting talks with a friend who does ironman and trains on very low carb. It made sense to me, so I went whole hog into in - cut out all grains and all fruit with the exception of very small amounts of berries. Started adding long tramping walks into the weekend - 5-10 hours at a go, with a heavy pack, lots of uphill. Fueled on mainly nuts, fish, dark chocolate! Only needed my favourite and BY FAR most effective and efficient simple carb source for me which is Clif Bloks for the last hour or so of non-stop going. Felt good, strong. Problem was I was eating TOO much. Too many nuts, too much almond butter, too much dark chocolate. This coupled with being very unhappy at work had my weight back up again, and honestly my clothes tighter than they had been in over 5 years.

    Changes were in order – quit my job, cleaned up the food, ratcheted back the cardio, and even did a cycle of Lyle McDonald’s Rapid Fat Loss which worked really well, but there is no way I could have done it if I had been working or any more active than I was, in fact I did not follow the exercise prescription and who knows what could have been better had I?

    Anyway, to today. Current weight 56kg. Been back in semi-normalsville for a month, and have taken this opportunity to do LOADS of study, a bit of experimentation, but more than anything work a strategy to set myself up with a real self-care plan moving into this next stage.

    TRAINING:
    WEEK 1:
    Mon – Upper
    Tues – Lower
    Weds – Walk
    Thurs – Full1
    Friday – Walk
    Sat – Full2
    Sun – Conditioning + HIIT

    Week 2:
    Mon – Full 3
    Tues: Walk
    Weds: Upper
    Thurs: Lower
    Friday – Walk
    Sat – Full1
    Sun – Conditioning + HIIT

    Week 3:
    Mon – Full2
    Tues - Walk
    Weds - Full 3
    Thurs - Walk
    Friday - Upper
    Saturday - Lower
    Sun - Conditioning + HIIT

    Week 4:
    Mon – Full 1
    Tues – Walk
    Weds – Full 2
    Thurs – Walk
    Friday – Full 3
    Saturday - Off
    Sun - Conditioning + HIIT

    SUPPLEMENTS:
    On waking: Whole Dessicated Pig Thyroid
    Preworkout: BCAA’s
    Postworkout: BCAA’s, 10g ISO in 100ml Almond Milk, Glutamine
    With Breakfast: Daily - Fish Oils, Vit C, 7-Keto, Cortisol Support, Adrenal Support, Thyroid Energy, Harmony Menopause (mainly chaste tree), Cal-Mag; 3 x Weekly - Meta B
    Pre Lunch: Apple Cider Vinegar in water
    Pre Dinner: Apple Cider Vinegar in water
    Post Dinner: Peritone and 1 cup Senna Tea
    At Bedtime: 5-HTP, Melatonin, Cortisol Support, Zinc, Vit C, Cal-Mag, Harmony Menopause

    GENERAL NUTRITION:
    On LIFTING Days 100-150g of kumara with 10g Whey as soon as I get home.
    On Conditioning days, if no carb up that week, 1-2 Clif Bloks intra workout
    On Week Days Black Coffee with Butter and Coconut Oil
    First Meal ~9-10AM
    Last Meal ~6PM (Approx 8 hour feeding window)
    Food sources: Eggs, Fish, Venison, Lamb, Pork, All Green Veggies, Greek Yogurt, Cottage Cheese, Feta, ISO, Casein, Almond Milk (unsweetened), Pumpkin
    One free meal per week. If I feel I need it, up to 1 x 5 hour carb reefed per week – I am hoping that my kumara PWO may alleviate the need for this.

    SLEEP: Try Try Try for 8 hours per night!!!

    WALKING: 10,000 steps per day minimum. Walk to and from work minimum 2 x per week.

    OTHER: Minimum 1 x massage and 1 x acupuncture (had both this week )

    JOURNAL: Realistically, once a week
    Last edited by kitebean; 06-29-2013 at 10:47 PM.
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  3. #5823
    keep going kitebean's Avatar
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    Here is my week one update.

    Overall, I did OK but have been really challenged with being on the road and also getting back to a work schedule where my expectation of food requirements have been variable. Also, for the first few days certainly the brain performance energy requirements have been interesting to watch. Need to watch my liquid intake as well, especially water (!) and herbal tea. Need to balance the new job and social expectations as well. I am fairly comfortable doing that in the sense that none of these challenges are either triggers or excuse bringers for me to not jut carry on in the way I want for my next meal etc.

    Of course I have done all of my gym sessions this week, that is never an issue. However I have not got in my walk to work either because of weather or the need to have my car during the day. Also my activity time recorded by my Bodymedia is not reflective of my gym work.

    Average Sleeping Time: 7:07
    Average Steps: 6293

    So clear targets for improvement here this week.

    I have not weighed this week because I had 2 big meals - one on Tuesday night with the team and one on Friday night - a 3 course polish feast

    Another little rule I have employed this week is max 2 drinks when I go out, which isn't an issue. Pity that I love to drink

    All in all, I think that my focus has been pretty good. Just need to keep playing with foods and timing to continue to optimise. This job is going to be about a billion times busier and more intellectually challenging (at least at first) than anything I have done in a while.

    Proud of myself that despite putting myself in the occasional too hungry temptation situation, I've not succumbed to my beloved nuts! Have had a little chocolate, but only on 3 days. Not going to make either of those things keto staples - can't do it!

    Because of my 2 substantial meals this week I've not needed a carb up this weekend, nor intra-workout carbs for the big conditioning/HIIT session this morning. In fact both Saturday and Sunday I've not had my first meal until about 11, which hasn't been hard at all.

    See you next week, whoever you are!
    when ego is lost, limit is lost

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  4. #5824
    Queen Miranda to you Miranda's Avatar
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    i saw 'keto' in there?
    "The human race is still largely a group of monkeys with slightly better grooming habits. Give them a microscope and and they'll examine their own ****, give them a telescope and they'll go looking for tits."
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  5. #5825
    keep going kitebean's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Miranda View Post
    i saw 'keto' in there?
    should qualify and more appropriately use the phrase 'very low carb'

    on training days I am ~50g and non training days ~20g, so for many people that would mean ketogenesis.
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  6. #5826
    Uncarved Block Megin's Avatar
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    Wow - lots of reading, and quite honestly, I didn't know a lot of the below (or above, however your settings are)
    Didn't know your doc passed away :/

    Lots of supplements - not sure about the Pig thyroid thing, but what do I know

    Do like the 1 x / week journaling though

    Seems you have had a rough go of it, KB
    I can understand you not wanting the anti depressants - seems like you are doing all you can to get yourself where you want to be
    Just keep looking where you want to go
    Right now it doesn't matter what the results will be.
    Whats more important is that you test the waters. You share the story.. you add a different aspect to your recovery..

    Leap and the net will appear..
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  7. #5827
    keep going kitebean's Avatar
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    Thanks Megs and Mir for reading

    Pretty good week, improvements (albeit small) on both items I'm measuring;

    Sleep: 7:08 v. 7:07
    Average Steps: 6837 v. 6293

    Walked to work one time, but not home. The weather has been shockingly dreadful.

    Food wise I've been great - the 100g of kumara Post have really been somehow keeping my energy and seemingly glycogen levels topped up enough that I don't feel the incredible need for a re-feed. That said, I did have a really big (but mostly good) meal on Wednesday night.

    The butter and coconut oil in black coffee protocol has really and truly helped my morning focus and energy - and helps me to keep at bay the need for a meal until about 10 or 11 AM.

    The way I am feeling at the moment I feel like I have got my food in a good place. I don't know whether or not the fact that I am eating meat probably 5 or 6 times per week is making a difference to anything. keeping it super clean though - wild game venison, organic lamb and pork. Very lucky in New Zealand that all meat is grass fed, as is the butter.

    I think I may have finally found the female Jason in the massage stakes - her name is Tiffany and we had an excellent session on Friday. She was amazed at how active my muscles are, but also the extent of issues - I feel so much better, but she is concerned the my muscular development has been impinged by the issues, also curiously that my left side is noticably better developed - because I am right handed. also need to focus on keeping my pecs supple so that my back and shoulders have some relief. I am seeing her again a week from Wednesday.

    New job is going really well, which makes me happy. We have also found a house to move into for the 3 or 4 months our house is getting renovated, it's a big old grand but tired house, but they are happy for us to bring the cat children which is important. It also has an open fire which makes me happy and will feed my inner pyro.

    Training is going great - had a great conditioning session which included a burpee century as well as some excellent sprinting this morning.

    That's about it see you soon!
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  8. #5828
    keep going kitebean's Avatar
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    Another good week

    Feel great physically, not tired, mentally focused.

    Little less sleep unfortunately 7:07 average last week, 7:00 this week.

    But much better average steps, up to 8494 per day v. 6837 last week - walked to work twice which clearly made the difference.

    Food is OK, did well during the week, went a little loose yesterday, but I was really feeling like I needed a little rev-up so no guilt.

    The earth has been quaking here in Wellington this week, a 5.7 at work Friday which was not nice on the 9th floor - jumped under table, when it was over had a bit of pity for the window washers on the building opposite! Then a 5.8 this morning, which we rode out lying in bed! Oh well.

    Looking forward to the next few weeks, up to Auckland next week then across to Melbourne for the best part of a week - from the 29th - 2nd. Hopefully catching up with Kim. I like the gym there that I found last time, a real iron-headed place called Dougherty's which is 24/7

    J & M are in town visiting, staying with J's sister - we are going to collect them soon and go to the Andy Warhol exhibition at Te Papa (National Museum) which will be nice.

    Oh yes got my glutamine which I've been adding. I think it's a good thing.

    See you next week.
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  9. #5829
    Registered User AbramsAM's Avatar
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    Hi!
    Just popped in to Bb.com after probably years of not being in the journals! I was glad to see you are still active here!

    I am so glad to see it looks like the adjustments you have made are helping and you feel improvements. I didn't realize so much was going on.

    I haven't tried coconut in coffee but my hubs does that sometimes. I'll put it on my list to try. It is great you found a good massage therapist! It is to hard to find people who are good at that and knowledgeable. I am also quite jealous that ALL meat is grass fed in NZ, that is amazing! Until recently grass fed was hard to even find here and it is still at lease twice as expensive as grain fed!

    Hope you have a great weekend!
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  10. #5830
    keep going kitebean's Avatar
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    Hey Angela! so nice of you to pop in YOU are rockin it girl you look amazing, and I love to see the pics of your little family on FB

    yea, kind of funny that I have come back to journaling here - not that anyone of the old crew is really left, but I do somehow still feel safe I guess is the word in talking through my strategies and issues here. Like you get it.

    So yea, after I wrote last week we had a monster 6.5 EQ, I was in the bath which was trippy. The house is perfectly fine, but my office building is not, so we are having to move which is a pain but I'd rather that than go back to the 9th floor of a compromised structure. Unlike Christchurch the aftershocks have subsided really quickly in fact I haven't felt one since Monday, but there is never room for complacency. We are well prepared though, we have our emergency kit with food and stove and tent and sleeping bags, 20 gallons of water, enough to really survive for at least a week if need be. And we have a meeting place in case we are not together.

    I have felt a little yucky this week, a little constipated and 'full' feeling. I am sensing it's hormonal because diet has not changed. Made a nice meal for company last night and had a little wine, and yea I don't feel 100% today, but I am so sensitive. I sometimes wish I wasn't but I am.

    Oh yea I had a really nice thing happen this week - I was in Auckland meeting customers and I had this lunch meeting talking to this guy about the fact that he loves fishing - I mentioned I love fish, and the next day he brought me around 5kg of fish! Terakihi, snapper, and the most AMAZING smoked Marlin I have ever had. I made an unbelievably delicious pate out of it and served with celery for dipping it was spectacular. Nice, aye?

    Training is great, my muscles are great, and the occasional vein-poppage is nice.

    Good result on sleep this week, average 7:21 up from 7:00 last week, steps 8248 on 8494 last week.

    I'm sure my steps will be huge this week as I will be carless in Melbourne. Should be fun, meeting more people and 2 days of official induction. I am staying in an apartment so will be able to look after myself nutrition wise which is always a positive in terms of stress levels and mind set
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  11. #5831
    Uncarved Block Megin's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kitebean View Post
    yea, kind of funny that I have come back to journaling here - not that anyone of the old crew is really left, but I do somehow still feel safe I guess is the word in talking through my strategies and issues here. Like you get it.
    I really (really) miss the crew that hung out here ..
    Kinda feels like I've lost touch with a bunch of my best friends all at once

    Right now it doesn't matter what the results will be.
    Whats more important is that you test the waters. You share the story.. you add a different aspect to your recovery..

    Leap and the net will appear..
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