dating younger women (do you lie about your age?)

**frtknckr** · 11-21-2003, 02:23 AM

Im just turning 40 (damn decade markers make it sound so bad, whose idea was it to keep track anyway), and thirty-something always sounded not too bad, but Im worried about how 40 sounds. I am in impeccable shape and people who guess think I'm 28 or 29, and I find myself dating the 20 to 25 year old girl age range mostly. The problem comes in when they ask age and guess 29, it hasn't been too much of a problem saying 36, 37, 38,39... but now 40 seems like it might just sound too old (which is strange because what real difference is there between 39 and 40, but that is the reality). I guess intention might have something to do with it, if you are looking at long term being up front is important, but if you both are looking at something very short term it is really not important at all.

The real fact of the world is that there are old 30 year olds and there are young 40 year olds, etc.

Anyone else out there thought about this much?

**Hibiscus09** · 11-21-2003, 04:53 AM

I think you should worry about the "person" you meet and not their age. However, whether or not you wish to lie to others is your own personal choice. Since you are asking for opinions -- honesty works for me. But, then again, I'm married and out of your age range. LOL

**TwoWalks** · 11-21-2003, 07:17 AM

Nope don't give much thought too it at all:

Dated older ladies when I was in High School and for the next few year. Dated younger Ladies when I was older 38+. For a long term relationship, would you want one that is so superficial that being your real age made any difference? Sort of reminds me of the guy asking the girl out in high school and she say's, What kind of car do you drive?

**little lats** · 11-21-2003, 10:50 AM

get away from the 20 year olds. You have to teach them to much. I prefer older. lol

**MarkY** · 11-21-2003, 11:40 AM

What the hell do you want with a 20 year old? They're mostly clueless. Find a WOMAN, you won't have to put up with head games, and for the most part they know what they want. You also don't have to teach them everything.

I've dated older woman since high school and my wife of 14 years is ten years older than I am. I'm 43.

**little lats** · 11-21-2003, 01:24 PM

Why have train someone to give you what you want, emotionally and sexually. That what are first marriages and such were about. lol

**Hibiscus09** · 11-21-2003, 02:48 PM

I'm still in my first marriage. It's a growing experience -- you both grow together.

Well, anyway, it's supposed to work that way! Doesn't always. LOL

I reiterate:

I think you should worry about the "person" you meet and not their age.

However, this does not apply to those females who are under the legal age limit. LOL

**Original Poster** · 11-21-2003, 06:25 PM

I have not dated any younger women in years.....
LOL
........but I am accepting applications

.

Even my wife is older than me........LOL...only 4 months.

I think you know the answer to your own question.

If you out for a roll in the hay.......then you know as well as I do most men would lie if they feel they had to......otherwise the only option is to aviod answering the question and change the subject.

If you are looking for something more meaningful in your life......well..... then I must say lieing is not the best way to start a relationship.

-- Chi

**egoatdoor** · 11-21-2003, 08:35 PM

You are asking for major trouble dating 20 year olds. 20 years old almost always equates with immaturity...what do the two of you have in common if you are from 2 totally different generations???...do you want to be raising teenagers in your 50s???... can you afford the alimony when she ditches you for a guy closer to her own age???or an even older guy with more money????

**Overload** · 11-21-2003, 09:16 PM

Originally posted by frtknckr
Anyone else out there thought about this much?

Yes, I think about 20 - 25 year olds all the time

IMO more trouble then it's worth. Go for someone 30 +

**frtknckr** · 11-25-2003, 10:43 PM

20 year olds are no more trouble than 30 year olds if you are just out for fun and not looking for long term, dating is not automatically about finding a wife to have kids you know.

To answer my earlier question, I was out with a 19 (!) year old hardbody the other day, she asked my age, I didn't feel like lying or changing the subject so I told her right up, and she was a bit amazed, saying "I would have never guessed more than 30 or 31!", but then she was cool with it and wants to go clubbing with me this weekend, so in this case it was no problem at all really.

**MarkY** · 11-26-2003, 04:20 AM

You're 40 and are going "clubbing" with a 19 year old? Gee that sounds like a lot of fun. Why?

**little lats** · 11-26-2003, 07:35 AM

well dating 20 year olds does wonder on your ego, but it sets you up for failure. get one of them knocked up and you will be paying a lot for that ego. Yes it feels good but walk away and find something that knows what a RELATIONSHIP is, or keep playing the games and deal with it later. That's your decision.

**Original Poster** · 11-26-2003, 08:39 AM

Originally posted by little lats
well dating 20 year olds does wonder on your ego, but it sets you up for failure. get one of them knocked up and you will be paying a lot for that ego. Yes it feels good but walk away and find something that knows what a RELATIONSHIP is, or keep playing the games and deal with it later. That's your decision.

LOL - That explains you !

**little lats** · 11-26-2003, 08:51 AM

You know to much!!!

**Lynne** · 11-26-2003, 08:56 AM

When I was younger, I always liked older men. A lot of young women do. But lying is awful. You don't need to do that.

Lynne

**little lats** · 11-26-2003, 08:58 AM

yah what away to start a relationship or even dating. If you have to lie obviously something isn't right.

**egoatdoor** · 11-26-2003, 09:30 AM

Originally posted by frtknckr
20 year olds are no more trouble than 30 year olds if you are just out for fun and not looking for long term, dating is not automatically about finding a wife to have kids you know.

Most of us passed that stage of "being out (just) for fun" years ago. It gets old after awhile. Whatver tickles your fancy....Your maturity level is probably on the same level as hers.

**Original Poster** · 11-26-2003, 10:27 AM

Originally posted by egoatdoor
Whatver tickles your fancy....Your maturity level is probably on the same level as hers.

ROFLMAO

**Hibiscus09** · 11-26-2003, 12:36 PM

LOL -- my daughter is 19 -- I can't even read this thread anymore. Good thing we have plenty of guns in the South.

Actually, though, she would think 40 is like dating her Dad -- he's 43. She'd just say "Ooooh, gross!"

**ojs** · 11-26-2003, 02:45 PM

Originally posted by Hibiscus09
LOL -- my daughter is 19 -- I can't even read this thread anymore. Good thing we have plenty of guns in the South. Actually, though, she would think 40 is like dating her Dad -- he's 43. She'd just say "Ooooh, gross!"

Younger women ARE a lot of trouble! Having said that, I'm only a couple of years younger than my girl friend's dad. She never says "Ooooh, gross!'. At least she doesn't say that while I'm listening. Next time around, though, I think a nice young 40+ would be perfect. That "training" thing is getting real old. I think women need a few years to get used to being "out of their daipers".

**Overload** · 11-26-2003, 03:05 PM

Originally posted by Hibiscus09
LOL -- my daughter is 19 --

Is she a cutie? I don't look 40 so maybe one day... lol

**Hibiscus09** · 11-26-2003, 03:19 PM

Yes, Overload, she's very, very cute! LOL Do you want to die?

**Overload** · 11-26-2003, 03:26 PM

Originally posted by Hibiscus09
Do you want to die?

LMAO. Not really, because I need to be around when my daughter is 20 to run off those 40 year olds. oooh gross

**Hibiscus09** · 11-26-2003, 03:42 PM

You're a smart man!

**frtknckr** · 11-27-2003, 11:18 PM

in reply to the younger girl saying "ewww gross" it is all a matter of perception, if she is used to seeing 35 year old guys as being like her dad's friends that might be balding and out of shape with a paunch and grey hair it makes perfect sense, but I doubt her reaction would be the same if the 40 year old next door was Brad Pitt with a tan and a six pack abs.

**Hibiscus09** · 11-28-2003, 05:57 AM

Her dad is in great shape and is 43, not 35. In fact, one of her friends just told her last week that he was hot.

if she is used to seeing 35 year old guys as being like her dad's friends that might be balding and out of shape with a paunch and grey hair it makes perfect sense, but I doubt her reaction would be the same if the 40 year old next door was Brad Pitt with a tan and a six pack abs.

I don't think she pays much attention to his friends -- she's got a happening life with cute 20ish guys from college to which she pays attention. As far as the Brad Pitt thing goes, I think a lot of men see Brad Pitt when they look in the mirror when what is really standing their is George from Seinfeld. Nothing like a healthy ego. LOL

As I said before, I think what's inside a person is more important than their outward appearance. However, I would NOT want my daughter to go out with a 40 year old man. Plain and simple. I would think he had serious issues for wanting to go out with someone her age at his age. If you want to date young women because you feel like it's your preference and it's easier not to make a commitment, then more power to you. I'm glad my daughter feels the way she does about dating 40 year old men.

**ctgblue** · 11-28-2003, 09:54 AM

As stated in some posts above.
Ifd you HAVE to Lie about your age, then the girl IS TOO YOUNG.
As in maturity.
If she is not mature enought to understand that some 40 yr olds have more energy and interest than a lot of 20 yr olds, then she is not the right girl for you anyway.
If YOU FEEL THE NEED TO LIE about your age, then YOU need to get over it and find someone that does not make you feel the need to lie.
Be proud of your age and accomplishments.

**Overload** · 11-28-2003, 10:05 AM

How you feeling ctg?

**supadave** · 11-28-2003, 01:07 PM

Originally posted by Hibiscus09

However, I would NOT want my daughter to go out with a 40 year old man. Plain and simple. I would think he had serious issues for wanting to go out with someone her age at his age. If you want to date young women because you feel like it's your preference and it's easier not to make a commitment, then more power to you. I'm glad my daughter feels the way she does about dating 40 year old men.

I agree totally Hib. I have a 17 year old daughter and would not like it one bit if she wanted to date someone my age.

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