I need some honest opinions, especially from the ladies (Amris too) regarding my GF.

[woofman81]

Ok, so i'm going to make this as short as possible. For the past four months I've been dating a girl that I can proudly say I'm now in love with. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on. I have so much fun with her and I honestly could see her in my future.

Here's the thing. Two years ago, when she was 19, she was in playboy. Yeah that kinda bothered me at first but when we started dating she said she wasn't into that stuff anymore. She said she would never do nude stuff again.

Well lastnight she got a call from a guy that wants her to possibly be on this reality show for E. I guess she'd have to be bodypainted topless for the show and what not.

She's contemplating on doing it. I don't think she should. I think it's degrading and not something one should do while in a relationship.

She feels though as if she has to "pick" one or the other. Does she go with her head or her heart?

Like I said, I think it's wrong and bad for our relationship but I don't want to lose her.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'd love to just hear your opinons on the matter. Guys, could you handle it? Ladies, am I being too protective?

Thanks

[MWDhand]

you are being selfish,,dont let your insecurity hold her back,,you say that you think its degrading,,but i ask you in honestly ,,who do you think its degrading,,i have a strong feeling you feel its degrading you,,otherwise you wouldnt think it was fine for her to do outside your relationship!,,

get over it,,if you trust her,,and she is faithful to you,,it shouldnt be that big of an issue,,

MWDhand

[BVAV]

It sounds like you have different standards and morals. She says she isn't into that stuff anymore yet when the opportunity comes she contemplates it. Sounds like she hasn't really revealed her true self to you in full yet. Maybe she wants to be what you want her to be but clearly she isn't. If you don't share the same morals you will never make it as a couple.

[Beklet]

If she's happy to be topless and doesn't think it's degrading, I don't see why not.

Why don't you want her to do it? Is it that you can't handle other men looking at her? Do you imagine they will all be making leery or disrespectful comments about her (as I'm sure you and 99% of your mates have done to glamour models in the past) or do you think of her body as 'your' property?

I ask this because my ex was never worried about me getting semi naked for tattoos or piercings, and he would never have been bothered about nude modelling either. Not something that's ever bothered me but I can see why it might bother you, after all you know what goes throughg a mans mind when he sees bare skin

[JonZ]

You can state your opinion, but the decision is hers, not yours.

If she decides to do it and you dont like that decision, you have 2 options - deal with it or leave her.

[MWDhand]

or do you think of her body as 'your' property?

i came back just to cover that part of it,,but you beat me to it,,

MWDhand

[woofman81]

you are being selfish,,dont let your insecurity hold her back,,you say that you think its degrading,,but i ask you in honestly ,,who do you think its degrading,,i have a strong feeling you feel its degrading you,,otherwise you wouldnt think it was fine for her to do outside your relationship!,,

get over it,,if you trust her,,and she is faithful to you,,it shouldnt be that big of an issue,,

MWDhand

This is great. I love hearing stuff like this. Although, i think most guys wouldn't want there girlfriends going pretty much topless on national tv.

[Fendi]

you are being selfish,,dont let your insecurity hold her back,,you say that you think its degrading,,but i ask you in honestly ,,who do you think its degrading,,i have a strong feeling you feel its degrading you,,otherwise you wouldnt think it was fine for her to do outside your relationship!,,

get over it,,if you trust her,,and she is faithful to you,,it shouldnt be that big of an issue,,

MWDhand

x2

[MWDhand]

this isnt a morality issue,,its a drawing the line issue,,he is drawing a line where he feels part of her body is only his,,maybe its the bikini line,,maybe its topless,,but no bottomless,,but either way,,im gathering he is feeling that she is giving out part of what is his,,by doing this,,

its only her nude body being painted,,not like she is being gangbanged


MWDhand

[MWDhand]

I'm not saying i wouldnt have the same feelings,,Im just answering as he asked,,honestly,,do i think i could get over it with my gal,,more than likely,,part of why i know where is coming from,,is cause i can identify


MWDhand

[viper2510]

somebody has to do it. PICS!

[BVAV]

this isnt a morality issue,,its a drawing the line issue,,he is drawing a line where he feels part of her body is only his,,maybe its the bikini line,,maybe its topless,,but no bottomless,,but either way,,im gathering he is feeling that she is giving out part of what is his,,by doing this,,

its only her nude body being painted,,not like she is being gangbanged


MWDhand

It could be a morality issue. He's entitled to his belifes. He shouldn't have to change them to accomadate her choices. If he has a problem with her choices all he can do is move on from her.

[MWDhand]

It could be a morality issue. He's entitled to his belifes. He shouldn't have to change them to accomadate her choices. If he has a problem with her choices all he can do is move on from her.

yes,,absolutely he can,,and if it really is a morality issue here,,he wouldnt be seeking our advice,,he would already know the answer,,

theres a reason he brought up being over protective,,and that has nothing to do with a moral delimma,,

MWDhand

[woofman81]

MWDhand and BVAV, you guys are bringing very valid points to the table. This is why I love threads like this. It opens my eyes and makes me think about things I usually wouldn't.

I guess a part of me does feel like when your in a relationship, your girlfriends naked body is for you, and you only. I mean this is one of the special things about being in a relationship. I'm the one that gets to see this beautiful girls naked body, I'm the one that gets to touch her.

I guess I'm just old fashioned when it comes to relationships.

[BVAV]

MWDhand and BVAV, you guys are bringing very valid points to the table. This is why I love threads like this. It opens my eyes and makes me think about things I usually wouldn't.

I guess a part of me does feel like when your in a relationship, your girlfriends naked body is for you, and you only. I mean this is one of the special things about being in a relationship. I'm the one that gets to see this beautiful girls naked body, I'm the one that gets to touch her.

I guess I'm just old fashioned when it comes to relationships.

If that's the case it may be a personal preference and not a morality issue but you're still entitled to feel that way. If she doesn't share those ideals and they mean too much for you to change them you won't make it as a couple.

[woofman81]

If that's the case it may be a personal preference and not a morality issue but you're still entitled to feel that way. If she doesn't share those ideals and they mean too much for you to change them you won't make it as a couple.

True. I just think about trying to go through with it and how much pain it would cause me. The thing is though, I do trust her.

I just think she should choose different things to get her career going. She makes it seem like this is the only thing she can do.

She's not a school type girl. She's VERY high maintenance. I love her no matter what though. Heck, i'm high maintenance for a guy anyways

[woofman81]

If she's happy to be topless and doesn't think it's degrading, I don't see why not.

Why don't you want her to do it? Is it that you can't handle other men looking at her? Do you imagine they will all be making leery or disrespectful comments about her (as I'm sure you and 99% of your mates have done to glamour models in the past) or do you think of her body as 'your' property?

I ask this because my ex was never worried about me getting semi naked for tattoos or piercings, and he would never have been bothered about nude modelling either. Not something that's ever bothered me but I can see why it might bother you, after all you know what goes throughg a mans mind when he sees bare skin

Yes, it would be very hard for me to watch other men looking at her like that.
I don't see her body as my personal property, I just think there are boundaries in relationships that you don't cross and this is one of them.

[Beklet]

Yes, it would be very hard for me to watch other men looking at her like that.
I don't see her body as my personal property, I just think there are boundaries in relationships that you don't cross and this is one of them.

Fair enough, but then you have to decide which boundaries are acceptable to cross, and which aren't, which won't be easy!

Good luck.

[Pizbo]

The deal is you made it clear to her that nude modeling is something that you don't want her involved in before this shoot.

She lied to you when she said she was past that stage of her life.

I don't know man it seems pretty clear to me what you have to do.

She may be wonderful but she is also putting up a front.

Everyone who said that she is free to do what she wants are correct and so are you. If she is free to go against what you believe than you are free to leave.

Tell her to do whatever she wants to do and if she loves you more than being topless then she won't.

If I were in that situation I wouldn't know how to react. I would never want to be with a woman who exposes herself for money (hell I have a hard time when my girlfriend busts out the cleavage when she waits tables). I would probably be very subtle and let her know that I don't agree with the shoot but encourage her to do whatever she really wants which would probably end up with me leaving her.

[NYbaseball4]

Personally, I wouldn't allow it. I think it's simply disgusting for someone I'm serious with to be showing off their body like that. I wouldn't be able to handle it, and I would rather be called jealous and move on then to have to deal with that. I don't think your being jealous, your just respecting your relationship and helping her realize that she needs to respect herself and you..do what YOU feel is right, dont let others say your overreacting in this specific situation.

[woofman81]

Personally, I wouldn't allow it. I think it's simply disgusting for someone I'm serious with to be showing off their body like that. I wouldn't be able to handle it, and I would rather be called jealous and move on then to have to deal with that. I don't think your being jealous, your just respecting your relationship and helping her realize that she needs to respect herself and you..do what YOU feel is right, dont let others say your overreacting in this specific situation.

I agree. I just hope she realizes this and doesn't do it

[HopkinFrog]

Personally, I wouldn't allow it. I think it's simply disgusting for someone I'm serious with to be showing off their body like that. I wouldn't be able to handle it, and I would rather be called jealous and move on then to have to deal with that. I don't think your being jealous, your just respecting your relationship and helping her realize that she needs to respect herself and you..do what YOU feel is right, dont let others say your overreacting in this specific situation.

x2

I personally wouldn't like topless photos of my girlfriend to be floating around. In a controlled environment yes.. but with hypermedia and Internet culture, and dirty perverts.. no.. no I wouldn't be happy.

[MWDhand]

True. I just think about trying to go through with it and how much pain it would cause me. The thing is though, I do trust her.

I just think she should choose different things to get her career going. She makes it seem like this is the only thing she can do.

She's not a school type girl. She's VERY high maintenance. I love her no matter what though. Heck, i'm high maintenance for a guy anyways

look at the first thing he says here,,look at the pain it would cause HIM,,and look at the other guys posts,,I I I I I Me Me Me Me,,

if this was a gal posting that she has an opportunity,,and her boyfriend was giving her an ultimadem,,everybody would be jumping on her bandwagon on what a insecure selfish jerk he was being


MWDhand

[woofman81]

look at the first thing he says here,,look at the pain it would cause HIM,,and look at the other guys posts,,I I I I I Me Me Me Me,,

if this was a gal posting that she has an opportunity,,and her boyfriend was giving her an ultimadem,,everybody would be jumping on her bandwagon on what a insecure selfish jerk he was being


MWDhand

Good point, but this isn't your normal, day to day scenario. Any opportunity that came her way that didnt deal with her being nude I'd be supportive of. I think your forgetting that part.

[MWDhand]

Good point, but this isn't your normal, day to day scenario. Any opportunity that came her way that didnt deal with her being nude I'd be supportive of. I think your forgetting that part.

im not forgetting that part,,i also said earlier that i can identify with what you are feeling,,BUT,,,i can clearly see that this is all about you and how you feel,,when its her opportunity,,

fact is,,she isnt your wife,,and since she is a girlfriend,,its safe to assume you dont have a ring on her finger,,yet you want to put your feelings ahead of a possible carear advancement for her when you arent even Engaged with her,,do you really put yourself so high up that you would risk her being nowhere in 10 years and all she can look back on was an opportunity for exposure(bad choice of word) and she threw it away cause her BF at the time would have felt bad???

MWDhand

[MWDhand]

and i just reread your post,,you have only been with her for 4 months,,jesus christ,,you really have to be kidding me,,

MWDhand

[Violator009]

***k No, obviously itll bother u so tell her no, and see what her reaction is....

[woofman81]

im not forgetting that part,,i also said earlier that i can identify with what you are feeling,,BUT,,,i can clearly see that this is all about you and how you feel,,when its her opportunity,,

fact is,,she isnt your wife,,and since she is a girlfriend,,its safe to assume you dont have a ring on her finger,,yet you want to put your feelings ahead of a possible carear advancement for her when you arent even Engaged with her,,do you really put yourself so high up that you would risk her being nowhere in 10 years and all she can look back on was an opportunity for exposure(bad choice of word) and she threw it away cause her BF at the time would have felt bad???

MWDhand

I definetely see your point here. Although, what if I could possible see myself marrying this girl in a year? 2 years? Is it right for a girl that could potentially be your wife to be doing things like this?

I see where you're going with this though. I just don't see how you make a relationship work and possibly lead up to marriage when things like this are involved. I think it would only make our relationship get worse.

You're definetely making me think though, thumbs up to you.

[woofman81]

***k No, obviously itll bother u so tell her no, and see what her reaction is....

I already pretty much told her lastnight that I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'm still thinking about it though.

[shlomo]

I hope everything works out with you guys . You sound like a good guy.