Mental health break from work anyone?

[Azrairc]

my boss would approve time off beyond the norm, however it would be unpaid of course

[GuineaDago585]

About a year ago I went through severe burnout, the type where you wake up multiple times at night with 120+ bpm heart rate and have brain fog and moods swings all throughout the day.

90% of my burnout problems were solved by 3 things:

setting strict boundaries and clocking out at my assigned time (doesn't mean being lazy, but refusing to overwork myself for other people's emergencies they caused through poor planning or improper budgeting)

surrounding myself with people who cared about me

and finding interesting work

I also visited a doc who did blood tests to make sure there wasn't anything more serious going on. I now take a vitamin D and magnesium glycinate supplement (no idea if this actually helps).

It took about 9 months to recover 95%.

Sounds like the symptoms an animal in capitivity would experience.

This western society is a fkin mess. We’re not living right boyos.

[Briangumble]

How do you go about doing this? I'm trying to do this right now but not sure how to go about it. I have a co-worker that went on leave for a whole year, he referred me to the clinic he went thru but they're fully booked.

[Bingo559]

you need to really convince the doc that you are depressed. need to cry in front of them and be willing to go to weekly therapy if you want a good chance to get approved. usually these types of stress leaves are denied.

[chivasregal]

Oh wow wasn’t expecting this thread to grow this long.

1. I accepted a new role, and was project manager/task lead for two disciplines on a new highway project. At the same time I was writing proposals, and was part of some leadership class. It was fun and i was riding on adrenaline but burned out bad. Due to the stress and sleeplessness, I started experiencing panic attacks in the form of dizziness, de realization and felt weak. It’s been going on since last year, on and off, but it’s gotten bad lately. My nervous system is hypersensitive.

2. I went to therapists and a psychiatrist and they’re treating me. I refuse to take medicine but psych gave me a benzo, which is an as-needed med.

3. I’m gonna use my FMLA and short-term disability benefits at work. If i use my short-term, I get paid 2/3 of my salary while I’m gone. It’s a process that you have to profe you're not well. My boss is understanding. I feel bad for leaving but it is what it is

[Evolutionary1]

my leg is twitching

[Visel]

I'd only consider it if my investments brought me more than $50k/yr. That way I don't feel like I'm just depleting all my chit and screwing over my retirement.

That'd be $450k, assuming 11% return (average S&P 500 annual return in the last 10 years). But if you're getting more consistently from other investment strategies, it'd be less obviously.

I didn't know how much I would miss having those 2-3 months breaks from school you got as a kid. Now I just look forward to the odd 1-2 weeks of vacation time I take off for something big once every 4 months or so.

[usersignup2]

Oh wow wasn’t expecting this thread to grow this long.
It was fun and i was riding on adrenaline but burned out bad. Due to the stress and sleeplessness, I started experiencing panic attacks in the form of dizziness, de realization and felt weak. It’s been going on since last year, on and off, but it’s gotten bad lately. My nervous system is hypersensitive.

I would focus on physical health as a priority if you haven't already done so.

develop consistent sleep routine - one that you can continue once you return to work

prioritize healthy food choices

daily exercise routine.

this all seems like a no brainer but I've witnessed plenty of people go through stress period and all of them cope by neglecting some or all of these. Sleep and food tend to be the most common.

the other thing is though you may want to think about work, you need to figure some things out about work. Put in some time to pinpoint what is specifically that is causing the stress. Too much load? Work on delegation or saying no. Feeling lack of control in certain areas? It's important to narrow down root causes so that you don't get to this point again.

Finally, discover life purpose if you haven't already so you can maintain life balance. Having something to look forward to after work day (other than just relaxing) prioritizes life over work.

If you treat this time off as a vacation, those problems that got you here will be there when you return to work.

GL brah. Hope it works out for you.

[chivasregal]

I would focus on physical health as a priority if you haven't already done so.

develop consistent sleep routine - one that you can continue once you return to work

prioritize healthy food choices

daily exercise routine.

this all seems like a no brainer but I've witnessed plenty of people go through stress period and all of them cope by neglecting some or all of these. Sleep and food tend to be the most common.

the other thing is though you may want to think about work, you need to figure some things out about work. Put in some time to pinpoint what is specifically that is causing the stress. Too much load? Work on delegation or saying no. Feeling lack of control in certain areas? It's important to narrow down root causes so that you don't get to this point again.

Finally, discover life purpose if you haven't already so you can maintain life balance. Having something to look forward to after work day (other than just relaxing) prioritizes life over work.

If you treat this time off as a vacation, those problems that got you here will be there when you return to work.

GL brah. Hope it works out for you.

Thanks man. Definitely need to re-think my approach to work and what went wrong the first time. I am a bit of a people-pleaser and I may have said yes to a lot of things at the beginning. Good stuff, repped

[iabs]

What a pussy.

Not surprised coming from the OP.

[JustiNtense]

Might not be a problem soon, AI might be taking your job in a few years and you won't have to stress anymore

[AncientYouth]

i went semi retired about 15 years ago, then when Covid hit i went 3/4 retired


i am yet to inform my job of any of this, paid full time.............work smart not hard

[chivasregal]

you need to really convince the doc that you are depressed. need to cry in front of them and be willing to go to weekly therapy if you want a good chance to get approved. usually these types of stress leaves are denied.

It’s more normalized than you know. Yes, seeing a therapist helps. But i heard lots of cases do get approved

[DustinTheHuss]

How are people even allowed to take long breaks like this from work? My company only gives 120 hours of PTO per year and it’s accrued monthly so nobody is allowed to take weeks off at a time unless they’ve been working there for years. Sick days count against your PTO too. There’s no opportunity for leave unless you quit. Every job I’ve ever had has been similar. Dafuq are you people doing?

Be thankful. I have zero hours of PTO being a consultant and get paid by the hour.

Luckily the state of California requires that I receive sick pay.

[gbullock32]

Not in 9 years, other than ankle surgery that put me out for 4 months I've never taken more than a week off; dunno, I just like work. Most stressful part may be coworkers who are dumb as hell.

[chivasregal]

Not in 9 years, other than ankle surgery that put me out for 4 months I've never taken more than a week off; dunno, I just like work. Most stressful part may be coworkers who are dumb as hell.

I feel you bro. Most I’ve taken has been a week. So it feels extremely weird taking this long of a break.

[thursdayParty1]

About a year ago I went through severe burnout, the type where you wake up multiple times at night with 120+ bpm heart rate and have brain fog and moods swings all throughout the day.

90% of my burnout problems were solved by 3 things:

setting strict boundaries and clocking out at my assigned time (doesn't mean being lazy, but refusing to overwork myself for other people's emergencies they caused through poor planning or improper budgeting)

surrounding myself with people who cared about me

and finding interesting work

I also visited a doc who did blood tests to make sure there wasn't anything more serious going on. I now take a vitamin D and magnesium glycinate supplement (no idea if this actually helps).

It took about 9 months to recover 95%.

You must have some existing anxiety disorder, that sounds excessive

[wildchild11]

Honestly its only after i got an add-erall and focus supplement prescription that i started to perform better at work

During this time I would look at putting together systems that reduce the daily workload - if that involves outsourcing, setting up AI tools or automated scripts or whatever to make your job easier, do it

[Adam16121]

That is not true if you're moving up levels and/or also have more personal responsibilities.

It is true. As you move up you get more discretion regarding how you do your work and you also get underlings/assistants, etc.

It depends on the company and it’s corporate culture. Mine is more aligned with “the higher you go, the harder it gets.” At a certain point, it eats up your life. More “underlings” only translates to more liability and more initiatives. I know a number of people who declined promotions/new roles because of this.

It’s not that you have more people to help you, it’s that you have to manage more people to do more things, and you are on the hook for all of those additional things. Your own workload increases dramatically.

It’s not a “delegate and relax” environment, though I’m sure those exist in other companies.

[Luc1fer]

It depends on the company and it’s corporate culture. Mine is more aligned with “the higher you go, the harder it gets.” At a certain point, it eats up your life. More “underlings” only translates to more liability and more initiatives. I know a number of people who declined promotions/new roles because of this.

It’s not that you have more people to help you, it’s that you have to manage more people to do more things, and you are on the hook for all of those additional things. Your own workload increases dramatically.

It’s not a “delegate and relax” environment, though I’m sure those exist in other companies.

Yes, this is certainly true for any company I've worked.

[elterrible987]

How are people even allowed to take long breaks like this from work? My company only gives 120 hours of PTO per year and it’s accrued monthly so nobody is allowed to take weeks off at a time unless they’ve been working there for years. Sick days count against your PTO too. There’s no opportunity for leave unless you quit. Every job I’ve ever had has been similar. Dafuq are you people doing?

I get 156 hours a year, sick days are completely separate, i get a ton of those, i think 104 hours which i barely use i think i get paid out when i leave for sick time. in a few more years i will get 208 hours.

i could technically take a whole month off as long as i had people cover for me my boss wouldnt give a fuk

[elterrible987]

It depends on the company and it’s corporate culture. Mine is more aligned with “the higher you go, the harder it gets.” At a certain point, it eats up your life. More “underlings” only translates to more liability and more initiatives. I know a number of people who declined promotions/new roles because of this.

It’s not that you have more people to help you, it’s that you have to manage more people to do more things, and you are on the hook for all of those additional things. Your own workload increases dramatically.

It’s not a “delegate and relax” environment, though I’m sure those exist in other companies.

I knew a guy trying to work his way up to VP he was working 7 days a week for months at a time. no joke. this company, it wasnt necessarily the smartest or most skilled that got promoted, it was the "company men" the loyalty that they valued most, that would defend the company to their grave and give up every weekend if required.

its fuking brutal i think those guys were insane, its not worth it.

[Destor]

Yeah seniority in my line of work is where you get thrown into client meetings, put on the spot with hard questions in rooms full of people, need to answer for things that go sideways, etc

It might even be less "work" like you're doing less of the coming up with nitty gritty details and working in spreadsheets or producing stuff out of other software, but it's far more responsibility and stress -- it does not get easier lol. Working in spreadsheets and that type of stuff is easy compared to answering to what is happening.

[Godfrd824]

It depends on the company and it’s corporate culture. Mine is more aligned with “the higher you go, the harder it gets.” At a certain point, it eats up your life. More “underlings” only translates to more liability and more initiatives. I know a number of people who declined promotions/new roles because of this.

It’s not that you have more people to help you, it’s that you have to manage more people to do more things, and you are on the hook for all of those additional things. Your own workload increases dramatically.

It’s not a “delegate and relax” environment, though I’m sure those exist in other companies.

We have a different management style. I don't baby people or hold hands. I tell someone what I need an expect them to do it right. But I also try to keep things simple.

I also stopped working and stressing about stuff a long time ago. Things are gonna be how they're gonna be.

Yeah seniority in my line of work is where you get thrown into client meetings, put on the spot with hard questions in rooms full of people, need to answer for things that go sideways, etc

It might even be less "work" like you're doing less of the coming up with nitty gritty details and working in spreadsheets or producing stuff out of other software, but it's far more responsibility and stress -- it does not get easier lol. Working in spreadsheets and that type of stuff is easy compared to answering to what is happening.

That happens too me everyday. I never stress about it. I'm the king of winging it.

[chivasregal]

We have a different management style. I don't baby people or hold hands. I tell someone what I need an expect them to do it right. But I also try to keep things simple.

I also stopped working and stressing about stuff a long time ago. Things are gonna be how they're gonna be.



That happens too me everyday. I never stress about it. I'm the king of winging it.

I’ve learned that some things are out of my control and therefore why even stress? I put expectations on my team but also know that people may need some hand-holding temporarily

[KirkMcquest]

Ive quit when I had enough...does that count? Usually just relax, go hiking, camping, hang out for a couple of months and then go look for another job.

[chivasregal]

Ive quit when I had enough...does that count? Usually just relax, go hiking, camping, hang out for a couple of months and then go look for another job.

That’s fine too. I like this job, it’s just I mis-managed my stress and time.

[chivasregal]

I’m 3 weeks into my break and it’s been amazing. Still breaking out of the fight-or-flight panic **** but it’s a process

[XcelerateNYC]

I’m 3 weeks into my break and it’s been amazing. Still breaking out of the fight-or-flight panic **** but it’s a process

Absolutely pathetic. What a phhaggoid.

[AlBHappy]

Man the phuc up. You are so mentally weak. No wonder your ex-wife cuffed you around.