I need some honest opinions, especially from the ladies (Amris too) regarding my GF.

[Amris]

Not the things I wanted to hear Amris but I've always respected and read your reply's carefully. Yes, the thought of her doing all of this kills me inside yet I love her so much that I don't want to lose her.

You have to understand, this is a girl that hates school, doesn't want a normal day to day job, and wants to make alot of money to pay for expensive things. I know I know, run while you can. No, I love this girl.

The worst part though is she actually hates modeling. She hates doing these types of jobs but it's easy, quick, and good money according to her. She is not a go getter. She told me straight up lastnight she isn't. She just takes easy opportunities that come her way. Yes this may sound bad but its who she is. She was raised with everything given to her.

I recommend, then, that you ask yourself if you're really in love with her, or just the idea of her.

Sounds to me that either your priorities are screwed up (you "love" her only because she's "hot"), or that you have played "pin the personality on the p*ssy."

One thing that happens a LOT is people tell me how much they "love" a person, I mean, they are head over heels, crazy nuts about them... but when you start really digging, they start to realize that they're just addicted to the person, and don't really even know them that well.

I'm going to tell you right now that this relationship is going to end poorly. You don't know this girl, you tell yourself that you do, but you are not looking at her realistically at all.

At all.

[woofman81]

I recommend, then, that you ask yourself if you're really in love with her, or just the idea of her.

Sounds to me that either your priorities are screwed up (you "love" her only because she's "hot"), or that you have played "pin the personality on the p*ssy."

One thing that happens a LOT is people tell me how much they "love" a person, I mean, they are head over heels, crazy nuts about them... but when you start really digging, they start to realize that they're just addicted to the person, and don't really even know them that well.

I'm going to tell you right now that this relationship is going to end poorly. You don't know this girl, you tell yourself that you do, but you are not looking at her realistically at all.

At all.

Ok, i'll be honest, when I first met this girl I was "infatuated" or let's say "overwhelmed" by her because she was so gorgeous. After a few dates with her though I realized that she wasn't the person I stereotyped her to be. She is actually a really good person. She doesn't even care about looks or how a guys body is when she dates a guy. I'm like the first guy she's dated that her friends thought was attractive. She's also down to earth. She treats everyone around her with respect.

I guess I just really love that she loves me for ME. Not my looks, not my body, just the personality I was born with. So who knows, maybe you're right, maybe you're not, I just feel as though I do love this girl and I want to make things work.

[Amris]

Ok, i'll be honest, when I first met this girl I was "infatuated" or let's say "overwhelmed" by her because she was so gorgeous. After a few dates with her though I realized that she wasn't the person I stereotyped her to be. She is actually a really good person. She doesn't even care about looks or how a guys body is when she dates a guy. I'm like the first guy she's dated that her friends thought was attractive. She's also down to earth. She treats everyone around her with respect.

I guess I just really love that she loves me for ME. Not my looks, not my body, just the personality I was born with. So who knows, maybe you're right, maybe you're not, I just feel as though I do love this girl and I want to make things work.

Well, then you'll just have to accept the fact that your girlfriend likes taking her clothes off, having men make-up her snatch to nice and pink, and taking pictures of her. She likes taking her shirt off, having men paint on her breasts, and then showing them to the world at large.

So, if she's a great person, she's a great person. You'll just have to learn to deal with the whole getting naked for other men thing. *shrug*

Nobody's perfect, man.

[buttercup21]

If she really loves you back like you love her then she will stay with you and stay faithful no matter what career choice she makes. And if you try and stop her doing what she wants/needs to do or you get too clingy and possessive, you gonna drive her away and lose her anyway.

[The Experiment]

If she really loves you back like you love her then she will stay with you and stay faithful no matter what career choice she makes. And if you try and stop her doing what she wants/needs to do or you get too clingy and possessive, you gonna drive her away and lose her anyway.

Not really. woofman81 is in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

She doesn't want to do much in terms of acquiring any real skill. She wants easy and fast cash. I never would depend on these people for anything, let alone date or possibly marry. What happens when she no longer is getting courted for shows? Do amateur solo porn spreads? If not, she will be sad that her only skill doesn't bring in the cash. She is going to take this out on everyone, including him. If they are married, she will crush his balls in a vice. Especially if they are married, I expect her to bring out the biggest of guns and try to rape him as hard as possible.

If he tells her not to, she will get pissy and do it anyway. THen he will be left alone. Of course, at this point, he will just have a broken heart, instead of tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees and potential debts to pay off.

Girls like this are nothing but trouble. I briefly dated a girl who almost made the cut for a university issue of Playboy. She sounds almost like the same girl. I made sure I bailed out quick but it looks like woofman81 is in too deep. I saw the Titanic-sized wreck that was about to happen and made sure I jumped out. She was really nice and sweet too but she was extremely high maintenance.

[Amris]

Not really. woofman81 is in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

She doesn't want to do much in terms of acquiring any real skill. She wants easy and fast cash. I never would depend on these people for anything, let alone date or possibly marry. What happens when she no longer is getting courted for shows? Do amateur solo porn spreads? If not, she will be sad that her only skill doesn't bring in the cash. She is going to take this out on everyone, including him. If they are married, she will crush his balls in a vice. Especially if they are married, I expect her to bring out the biggest of guns and try to rape him as hard as possible.

If he tells her not to, she will get pissy and do it anyway. THen he will be left alone. Of course, at this point, he will just have a broken heart, instead of tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees and potential debts to pay off.

Girls like this are nothing but trouble. I briefly dated a girl who almost made the cut for a university issue of Playboy. She sounds almost like the same girl. I made sure I bailed out quick but it looks like woofman81 is in too deep. I saw the Titanic-sized wreck that was about to happen and made sure I jumped out. She was really nice and sweet too but she was extremely high maintenance.

Dude, what's a little porn between friends? You make it sound like porn's a bad thing!

[The Experiment]

Dude, what's a little porn between friends? You make it sound like porn's a bad thing!

I agree. I'm just being a selfish prick.

Seriously though, I was kind of shocked to see all the support for his girlfriend to do this. You know, the sexual revolution was not about showing your T&A for cash. The sexual revolution, the idea of the empowered female, is about personal accountability, not flaunting it for cash.

I'm not really a prude but the disturbing thing that stuck out in my mind was her refusal to hit the books. She doesn't want to work; she just wants it quick and easy. That speaks more about her personality than anything else. She is lazy.

Looks are fleeting and in a few years, new nubile 20 year old girls are going to be taking those contracts and photo shoots. What will his girlfriend be left with then? Especially with expensive tastes? She might change herself and start thinking of a career but the unfortunate and likely scenario is that she will just continue to pay for her lifestyle on credit and expect poor woofman81 to foot the bill.

I'd prefer he not spend the next 10-15 years paying almost all of his paychecks or perhaps default to satiate the materialistic demands. There is more to this than the E! series, well, at least in my opinion.

[MWDhand]

her not wanting to work,,was something that he revealed later,,i know quite a few women who worked very hard in the entertainment industry who probably would have loved a chance to do what his GF is given the opportunity to do,,just for the exposure,,but now i can see that there is more coming to the table,,it will be interesting to see where this goes



MWDhand

[DMBsAmricanBaby]

Ok, so i'm going to make this as short as possible. For the past four months I've been dating a girl that I can proudly say I'm now in love with. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on. I have so much fun with her and I honestly could see her in my future.

Here's the thing. Two years ago, when she was 19, she was in playboy. Yeah that kinda bothered me at first but when we started dating she said she wasn't into that stuff anymore. She said she would never do nude stuff again.

Well lastnight she got a call from a guy that wants her to possibly be on this reality show for E. I guess she'd have to be bodypainted topless for the show and what not.

She's contemplating on doing it. I don't think she should. I think it's degrading and not something one should do while in a relationship.

She feels though as if she has to "pick" one or the other. Does she go with her head or her heart?

Like I said, I think it's wrong and bad for our relationship but I don't want to lose her.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'd love to just hear your opinons on the matter. Guys, could you handle it? Ladies, am I being too protective?

Thanks

I know I wouldn't be able to handle it, but I honestly think you should just let her go, even though you love her, just see how things turn out.

[plcsp]

I wouldn't worry about it as long as guys aren't kissing all over her and stuff, being nude isn't that big of a deal. You should be happy that you have such a hot girlfriend.

[Solidarity]

I know that I would not allow my girlfriend to do something like that. I draw the line at bikini; no other man deserves to see my girl's tits and other places. You put time and money into the relationship and you deserve to lay down the law where you see fit. Let her make the decision, if she really does love you she will not do the show.

[Solidarity]

I agree. I'm just being a selfish prick.

Seriously though, I was kind of shocked to see all the support for his girlfriend to do this. You know, the sexual revolution was not about showing your T&A for cash. The sexual revolution, the idea of the empowered female, is about personal accountability, not flaunting it for cash.

I'm not really a prude but the disturbing thing that stuck out in my mind was her refusal to hit the books. She doesn't want to work; she just wants it quick and easy. That speaks more about her personality than anything else. She is lazy.

Looks are fleeting and in a few years, new nubile 20 year old girls are going to be taking those contracts and photo shoots. What will his girlfriend be left with then? Especially with expensive tastes? She might change herself and start thinking of a career but the unfortunate and likely scenario is that she will just continue to pay for her lifestyle on credit and expect poor woofman81 to foot the bill.

I'd prefer he not spend the next 10-15 years paying almost all of his paychecks or perhaps default to satiate the materialistic demands. There is more to this than the E! series, well, at least in my opinion.

You are an asset to this board... excellent post.

[MWDhand]

I know that I would not allow my girlfriend to do something like that. I draw the line at bikini; no other man deserves to see my girl's tits and other places. You put time and money into the relationship and you deserve to lay down the law where you see fit. Let her make the decision, if she really does love you she will not do the show.

ah,,she is an investment?


MWDhand

[Solidarity]

ah,,she is an investment?


MWDhand

You dont think so? I know this will sound very mysoginist but I really can give a crap.

You spend time being with your girlfriend and you spend money on her to keep her happy. Time and money are the two integral parts of an investment. Would you agree that if you had a girlfriend for 2 years and one day she broke up for no reason you would feel shafted? Why do you feel shafted? The answer is because you wasted time and money. By admiting this you are saying your girlfriend is an investment.

Unfortunately some people do not realize that during the time they were with one girl, maybe whom was a mistake, they could have been saving money, making new friends and possibly meeting a better girl (not even saying the extra poon you would get). Missing out on all that is a big deal and not to be taken lightly.

Edit: I see you are in your 30s, I think you would have figured this out by now?

[MWDhand]

well,,i can certainly see it as an investment of time,,but to look at it as a financial investment as well,,very few MEN would get married,,being that really is a crap shoot with rarely financially breaking even,,and even extremely rarer,,for the guy to come up financially on top,,(yes we all have heard about the Tom Arnolds out there,,but those are the exceptions),,

I am in my 30's,,and i have figured out enough to realize that its not so much of a financial investment as it is an expenditure,,not necessarily a waste of money,,because just like a steak dinner,,it will be gone when your done eating,,but it was worth the $ for the meal

as far as a gal who would up and leave after 2 years for no reason,,well,,that just doesnt happen,,there is always a reason,,either she isnt right for you,,or you arent right for her,,or both arent right for eachother,,granted alot of other factors are involved,,(timing,,etc),,but to the question,,would i feel shafted??maybe when i was younger i would,,but now adays i would look at it as 'better to find out now than next year',,,

so if your viewing a relationship with a female as a investment of time and money,,then your best option would be to not invest as it is more of a high risk gamble,,

I look at it more as a partnership,,granted time and money are involved,,but those are more consequencial,,if the partnership works out,,it works out,,if not,,life goes on,,no use crying over spilled milk,,,eh?

MWDhand

[Solidarity]

Smart post; the quality of your post does reflect your age. Its rather funny how I can read a post and know that the poster is either a teen, mid twenties, or older. But you are 100% right, you just put it more eloquently than I did. Being in a relationship is certainly not a WASTE of time or money, but as you said, if they relationship ends abruptly then it is mearly a lesson learned. I would of course rather not get into a long term relationship with somebody I knew wasn't completely into it. I see some threads where guys are in a 2+ year relationship and are asking questions that might plauge a person in a 2 month relationship. Obviously it isn't meant to be, as the longer you are with somebody, the more trivial smaller problems should be. People never look at things in a long term sense; a lot of relationships are too focused on the now instead of the later which is the wrong way to look at things.

[Beklet]

Hmm it's all starting to sound bad now.

She's high maintenance, has expensive tastes but is also bone idle and wants to take the easy option every time?

How do you see that panning out in 3-4 years? Are you happy to provide everything for this girl to make her happy? What does she give you in return? Can you have intelligent conversation, or do you think you give equally? Does she expect you to maintain her or is she likely to go out and make her own money?

All very well having a high maintenance girlfriend if you get plenty back in return, be it support, companionship etc.

[MWDhand]

All very well having a high maintenance girlfriend if you get plenty back in return, be it support, companionship etc.

ahhh,,,Balance.....


MWDhand

[hugs]

This is great. I love hearing stuff like this. Although, i think most guys wouldn't want there girlfriends going pretty much topless on national tv.

I agree..I dont think most guys would like that very much...and I think it's understandable. The guys on here who say that it's no big deal say it becaase either they don't know what it's like to have a serious relationship, they don't know what it's like to have a girlfriend, or they're just the pervs that want to see your girlfriend naked. Just because it's "her body" doesnt mean she should disrespect her boyfriend by putting herself out there to seduce other men. She knows that putting body paint on will drive other guys crazy--seh knows it will be on TV and she knows the attention that she will get because she's done this sort of thing before.

Let's keep in mind that she told her boyfriend that she was done with that stuff!

So not is she only going back on her word, but she's also putting their relationship in jeopardy by flaunting herself to get attention from other guys. She's actually publically flirting with thousands of people!---and doing it practically nude.

If I were you, I'd probably dump her if she chose that over your feelings over this. If she really loves you or cares about you, she wouldn't do something to hurt you.

[woofman81]

I agree..I dont think most guys would like that very much...and I think it's understandable. The guys on here who say that it's no big deal say it becaase either they don't know what it's like to have a serious relationship, they don't know what it's like to have a girlfriend, or they're just the pervs that want to see your girlfriend naked. Just because it's "her body" doesnt mean she should disrespect her boyfriend by putting herself out there to seduce other men. She knows that putting body paint on will drive other guys crazy--seh knows it will be on TV and she knows the attention that she will get because she's done this sort of thing before.

Let's keep in mind that she told her boyfriend that she was done with that stuff!

So not is she only going back on her word, but she's also putting their relationship in jeopardy by flaunting herself to get attention from other guys. She's actually publically flirting with thousands of people!---and doing it practically nude.

If I were you, I'd probably dump her if she chose that over your feelings over this. If she really loves you or cares about you, she wouldn't do something to hurt you.

Are you my twin? That's exactly what I think. These are the exact thoughts that go through my head.

[MWDhand]

I agree..I dont think most guys would like that very much...and I think it's understandable. The guys on here who say that it's no big deal say it becaase either they don't know what it's like to have a serious relationship, they don't know what it's like to have a girlfriend, or they're just the pervs that want to see your girlfriend naked. Just because it's "her body" doesnt mean she should disrespect her boyfriend by putting herself out there to seduce other men. She knows that putting body paint on will drive other guys crazy--seh knows it will be on TV and she knows the attention that she will get because she's done this sort of thing before.

Let's keep in mind that she told her boyfriend that she was done with that stuff!

So not is she only going back on her word, but she's also putting their relationship in jeopardy by flaunting herself to get attention from other guys. She's actually publically flirting with thousands of people!---and doing it practically nude.

If I were you, I'd probably dump her if she chose that over your feelings over this. If she really loves you or cares about you, she wouldn't do something to hurt you.

i hate to repeat myself,,but,,here goes

how is it disrespectful to him by her doing what she wants to do???they arent married,,and he hasnt made a commitment to her,,he is just a boyfriend,,and only of a few months,,

this whole notion that women are just an extension of their men is whats disrespectful,,it would be different if they were together as a team,,but 4 months doesnt make that,,especially without a commitment


MWDhand

[woofman81]

i hate to repeat myself,,but,,here goes

how is it disrespectful to him by her doing what she wants to do???they arent married,,and he hasnt made a commitment to her,,he is just a boyfriend,,and only of a few months,,

this whole notion that women are just an extension of their men is whats disrespectful,,it would be different if they were together as a team,,but 4 months doesnt make that,,especially without a commitment


MWDhand

You see, this is what sucks. This does make logical sense but how I really feel is just like Hugs described. So maybe I need to grow up and start being like what MWDhand is describing. Can someone just change like that? Is this something that as I mature and get older I learn to understand?

[hugs]

You see, this is what sucks. This does make logical sense but how I really feel is just like Hugs described. So maybe I need to grow up and start being like what MWDhand is describing. Can someone just change like that? Is this something that as I mature and get older I learn to understand?

The fact is that if you're dating people with the intensions of finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with (marriage) then you should look out for what I mentioned. There's nothing wrong with how you felt/feel. You are in a committed relationship, right? You and her made the agreement to not see anyone else, right? She sees you as her man and you see her as your woman, right? There is nothing wrong with that--in fact it's natural and right to have the desire to "attach" yourself with your woman. It's like people are saying that it doesn't matter what she does while your'e dating because yo're not married--well that's crap because while your'e dating, you're finding out what that person is like--especially their loyalty.

For people to say that the woman is the extension of her man is incorrect. It's not disrespectful for a man to want his woman for himself--that's good, and creates loyalty (not necessarily obsessive control). What people should think of is that the man and woman are equally responsible to be loyal and loving to eachother. And your girlfriend is all messed up and completely in the wrong for what she was thinking about doing.

One way of thinking about it is if you told her that you were going to go to a wild party and stip for the women...you know you're hot and she thinks that too. You think she shouldn't be mad? Isn't that the equivalent to what she's doing? If she wants that kind of life--then she shoudl be single.

And for anyone who disagrees, then they should be single until they grow up and are mature enough to realize that real relationsips consist of being loving and loyal to the other...keeping your body to yourself and, if you want,to your significant other.

[woofman81]

The fact is that if you're dating people with the intensions of finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with (marriage) then you should look out for what I mentioned. There's nothing wrong with how you felt/feel. You are in a committed relationship, right? You and her made the agreement to not see anyone else, right? She sees you as her man and you see her as your woman, right? There is nothing wrong with that--in fact it's natural and right to have the desire to "attach" yourself with your woman. It's like people are saying that it doesn't matter what she does while your'e dating because yo're not married--well that's crap because while your'e dating, you're finding out what that person is like--especially their loyalty.

For people to say that the woman is the extension of her man is incorrect. It's not disrespectful for a man to want his woman for himself--that's good, and creates loyalty (not necessarily obsessive control). What people should think of is that the man and woman are equally responsible to be loyal and loving to eachother. And your girlfriend is all messed up and completely in the wrong for what she was thinking about doing.

One way of thinking about it is if you told her that you were going to go to a wild party and stip for the women...you know you're hot and she thinks that too. You think she shouldn't be mad? Isn't that the equivalent to what she's doing? If she wants that kind of life--then she shoudl be single.

And for anyone who disagrees, then they should be single until they grow up and are mature enough to realize that real relationsips consist of being loving and loyal to the other...keeping your body to yourself and, if you want,to your significant other.

I'm seriously thinking about sending her this reply because we think so much alike on these type of issues. Thank you so much Hugs. I did ask her if I did the same type of thing, would she be ok with it? She said no and that she would break up with me. So of course I'm like what the hell, thats so hypacritical. Then she always goes into the same thing about this is her only way to make money and that she needs to start her career, etc.

[hugs]

I'm seriously thinking about sending her this reply because we think so much alike on these type of issues. Thank you so much Hugs. I did ask her if I did the same type of thing, would she be ok with it? She said no and that she would break up with me. So of course I'm like what the hell, thats so hypacritical. Then she always goes into the same thing about this is her only way to make money and that she needs to start her career, etc.

Thanks

I wouldn't show her the email--she'll just throw a fit and then turn the arguement on you...like it's your fault. Just be straight upfront with her and tell her where you draw the line. It doen'st have to be all about what she wants...you get a say in this too. If you don't like having your woman showing off her body to other men, then tell her that you won't date a woman who shows off her body to other men. You can just say that if she wants to do nude shoots and nude modeling and tv shows where she's flaunting herself, then she isn't the girl for you and you can tell her that you got into this relationship because she said she was done with that.

There are a lot of other ways to make money---and the way she's doing it is only degrading to herself...if she develops a skill, then she can be proud of her ability insead of just relying on her looks.

[* LC *]

You have a right to feel the way you are but you just arent looking at things right. You said one of the reason why you love her so much is she's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, well then be proud of her and supportive. For one if its on tv nobody is really completely going to see her nude and even if someone did you shouldnt be pissed. Its not degrading if she wants it and it makes her happy and feel good about herself. When you start feeling jealous and are worried about people seeing how beautiful she is and her body just remember who it is she says I love you too and who she is going home to that night.

[Amris]

i hate to repeat myself,,but,,here goes

how is it disrespectful to him by her doing what she wants to do???they arent married,,and he hasnt made a commitment to her,,he is just a boyfriend,,and only of a few months,,

this whole notion that women are just an extension of their men is whats disrespectful,,it would be different if they were together as a team,,but 4 months doesnt make that,,especially without a commitment


MWDhand

The commitment came when the exclusivity agreement was made.

Relationships are a lot like driving. When you pull out of your driveway, you know which side of the road to drive on. Why? Because those are the rules. Everyone knows the rules.

What happens when someone decides they don't like the rules, because they are "free" and they want to drive on the other side today? Well, the most likely outcome is that someone gets hurt, wouldn't you agree?

There are rules that are understood about relationships, and these "early" relationships are a preview of coming attractions, so to speak.

You find out in this early relationship, how that person will react to life's surprises. You find out whether or not that person thinks dangling her jugs in men's faces is okay. In other words, you find out whether or not she understands how her behavior effects her partner's feelings and ability to trust her.

It's pretty well known that jiggling your jugs in other men's faces while in a relationship is low quality behavior and leads to distrust from your partner.

Now, the OP knows that she:

1. Doesn't care about his feelings.
2. Isn't interested in displaying trustworthiness (or being trustworthy, for that matter).
3. Doesn't take relationships seriously.
4. Will always take the lazy and easy way.

The rules of courtship exist in order to prepare the person to get to know what you will be like in a more committed relationship. If you don't know this, then it's very unlikely that anyone will trust you to know the more important rules of marriage/ long term commitment.

If you get into Joe's car, and he drives on the wrong side of the road, are you gonna let him drive YOUR car? Hell no.

Same deal here. If you don't know the rules now, why should anyone trust you with their heart on a long term basis??

(You being a general statement, and not aimed at the quoted poster)

[MWDhand]

agreeing to be exclusive ,while yes is a committment of sorts,,isnt a real serious one,,when i asked him earlier in the thread if he would propose to her,,you could almost hear the screeching of the brakes,,thats a pretty good sign that he has some heavy reserves of being with her for ever,,

now part of those reserves may be cause of her lack of drive and laziness,,but either way,,to expect her to conform cause he doesnt like it,,(i know that she said before that she wasnt into that any more,,but shes a young lady,,just as he is a young man,,things change,,and once again,,its only been 4 months,,),,

he knows what he wants to do and what he needs to do,,if its that big of an issue for him,,then he will decide to break it off,,if it isnt,,they may move on,,but the idea that in 10 years from now,,if they are still together,,it is quite possible that she may look back and feel he held her back if he stops her from doing this,,and that is something to be considered while he is making his decision


MWDhand

[FOXXIE]

Once a playboy would always been a playboy. You should know that right in the start.

[westernwife]

let say 10-15 years from now she's old and not qualify in the nude modeling field anymore what she gonna do next ?