How does one truly let go and stop suffering from regret in the past?

[blueberryboy]

- no particular instance , just in general.


Lately I've been experiencing regret that I didn't Mary the girl I dated for 3 years. Too late now. Then I dated a complete sloot for a year after her.
And now have been basically struggling to come up with a comparable girl since the 3 year one


How can one be in acceptance that they made a mistake in the past ? And not just fume over if everyday and live in regret
Ie deal with it in a healthy way

[Getter_done]

Dont kill her.

[sennas]

You never deserved her lol

You didnt make a mistake per say, that was just the universe doing its job.

[Basedbaby]

You know what to do

[phaginator]

You stop giving a fck, literally doesn't matter.

[blueberryboy]

Dont kill her.

Don't worry bro I'm not violent

[blueberryboy]

You never deserved her lol

You didnt make a mistake per say, that was just the universe doing its job.

True but I feel like if I went in time I would hold onto her with everything I had
Like I feel like I didn't fight for her enough when it mattered

[blueberryboy]

Just have faith that it happened that way for a reason. Maybe you somehow dodged a bullet somehow by not marrying her. Either way, there's not much you can do about it besides learn from it and move on.

Yeah I learned a valuable lesson don't take anything for granted in this life

Yeah I hear you things go down for a reason as they say

[blueberryboy]

You stop giving a fck, literally doesn't matter.

I wish I could but that's probably a mind state I should adopt

I only really dated 2-3 girls in my life who meant anything

Had several random hook ups and fwb but only dated 3 that I would put into gf material and I'm 29

Down to about 1 prospect rn hopefully chit doesn't hit the fan with her

[Scarrdbutsmartr]

Why do you think we have regrets?

Is it meant to be a tool?

[Workout4ever]

learn from it and move on beta cuck

[koreannoodles77]

You keep stewing in it till you get depressed then develop a drinking problem

gl buddy you got this.

[blueberryboy]

You keep stewing in it till you get depressed then develop a drinking problem

gl buddy you got this.

Thanks

You went down this path too ?

[koreannoodles77]

Thanks

You went down this path too ?

No not really, I just like drinking alot

Aren't you 29? Still for plenty of time to find a good sloot, quit crying

I know a couple guys in their 30's dating 20 yrs old sloots, benefits of being a guy is you don't hit a wall aslong as you take care of yourself

[phaginator]

No not really, I just like drinking alot

Aren't you 29? Still for plenty of time to find a good sloot, quit crying

I know a couple guys in their 30's dating 20 yrs old sloots, benefits of being a guy is you don't hit a wall aslong as you take care of yourself

This.

Lol, you're a man. We don't have eggs that run out.

[blindsideflank]

Every moment of you past was instrumental to getting you to where you are. If you aren't happy with your present then you will have regrets.

If you are happy then you realize you needed mistakes to grow. Work hard and het yourself into a position you are proud of.


Also, I didn't read ****gy OP but my point still stands.

[blueberryboy]

No not really, I just like drinking alot

Aren't you 29? Still for plenty of time to find a good sloot, quit crying

I know a couple guys in their 30's dating 20 yrs old sloots, benefits of being a guy is you don't hit a wall aslong as you take care of yourself

Yeah bro that's true

Tour is far from over at 29 as a man

Way worse being a single women at this age

My sisters are both 31 and in the past year or so both got married and had kids .

[blueberryboy]

Every moment of you past was instrumental to getting you to where you are. If you aren't happy with your present then you will have regrets.

If you are happy then you realize you needed mistakes to grow. Work hard and het yourself into a position you are proud of.


Also, I didn't read ****gy OP but my point still stands.

I made mistakes in the past but definitely learned from it

You just don't realize as much at the time because people are drawn towards " things they can't have "

I've wisened up these days tho and no longer take anything or anybody for granted

Yeah I fked up badly with her but atleast I get to talk to a new girl now that I've been speaking with

Don't really miss " China girl " as much bc it's hard to miss someone who was never fully committed or kind

It's like part of me doesn't miss the stress of dealing with her but the girl I had before her was admittingly a lot more fair ....but apparently has a new man now and doesn't want anything to do with me

[andrepmeet]

Every moment of you past was instrumental to getting you to where you are. If you aren't happy with your present then you will have regrets.

If you are happy then you realize you needed mistakes to grow. Work hard and het yourself into a position you are proud of.


Also, I didn't read ****gy OP but my point still stands.

good advice. hard to implement.

some great author who offed himself said "rumination" is what killed him (paraphrasing). DFW btw is the author. Best author in the past maybe 30 years.

edit: my advice...I was just thinkjing about this earlier today. when you are "in love" with someone it seems like i is easily replaceable...in reality it might be the only time you are ever in love.

[wrassler45]

360 and fist yourself

[TOUCHEDbyMany]

Cmon brah


With that thread title I was thinking you were re going to post about a deep regret or something Bad

But your posting about a girl!???????


Ffs


And you have the audacity to insult the great ibby for pounding hookers and living with his parents ?

Ever see ibby post somrhivg like this?

Whose the real loser now kiddo.

[stevenmurray198]

psilocybin

[blueberryboy]

good advice. hard to implement.

some great author who offed himself said "rumination" is what killed him (paraphrasing). DFW btw is the author. Best author in the past maybe 30 years.

edit: my advice...I was just thinkjing about this earlier today. when you are "in love" with someone it seems like i is easily replaceable...in reality it might be the only time you are ever in love.

I only ever fell In love with 2 girls and I'm 29

Love is hard to come by

It's easy to think that at 29 my best days in this department are now behind me.... but I'll do what I need to do to have the tour continue

[skinnyfat88]

Did you actually have the opportunity to settle down/marry her or did she just peace out?

You're way too desperate. Your life revolves around trying to get the attention of women, most of whom you admit wouldn't make good longterm partners anyways.

You won't get over it until you can attain another high-quality woman again. You won't be able to keep one unless you grow up and stop being so desperate.

[TOUCHEDbyMany]

Cmon brah


With that thread title I was thinking you were re going to post about a deep regret or something Bad

But your posting about a girl!???????


Ffs


And you have the audacity to insult the great ibby for pounding hookers and living with his parents ?

Ever see ibby post somrhivg like this?

Whose the real loser now kiddo.

Bump

[blueberryboy]

Cmon brah


With that thread title I was thinking you were re going to post about a deep regret or something Bad

But your posting about a girl!???????


Ffs


And you have the audacity to insult the great ibby for pounding hookers and living with his parents ?

Ever see ibby post somrhivg like this?

Whose the real loser now kiddo.

Ibby can't miss something he never experienced

Ibby is all about the act of just sex

He doesn't give a fk to have female companionship so it suits Jim

I just feel like I finally got my chit together in life to an acceptable level and it would be nice to share it with someone lol

I sound like some pght women but you know what I mean lol

[TitusVI]

I have huge regret about different things. I wish i could go back in time. But its gone. No second chances.

[TheAdlerian]

- no particular instance , just in general.


Lately I've been experiencing regret that I didn't Mary the girl I dated for 3 years. Too late now. Then I dated a complete sloot for a year after her.
And now have been basically struggling to come up with a comparable girl since the 3 year one


How can one be in acceptance that they made a mistake in the past ? And not just fume over if everyday and live in regret
Ie deal with it in a healthy way

The first girl who ever liked me, moved away, and later I found out she became a supermodel, lol.

I wish I had kept in touch!

She was smart and funny too.

Regrets like that, you just can't do anything about.

However, if you make mistakes you regret you can "reframe" them. That means look at them in a new positive way.

All of our mistakes literally are learning experiences, unless we are a sociopath that doesn't learn from mistakes. So, every bad thing that happens to you strengthens you.

I say, I love to be wrong because once I find out I am, I will never be wrong about that subject again.

Beta types are cowards and the saying is "a coward dies a thousand deaths and a brave man only one". That means the coward feels stupid, like a bitch, and so on for failing, but a brave person looks at failures as gaining understanding and is not hurt by them.

[dopamine72]

No advice helped me, it was only when I had a true near death experience that changed my thought process for the better

Many humans are wired to obsess about the past, we need to "hack" our brains with tricks in order to think differently and control our thoughts

I think the best advice I can give is to go have as many experiences as you can then level up from going through each one

You can't do nothing and just sit there with your thoughts eating away at you, you gotta distract yourself by doing productive things

Cognitive behavioral therapy is another way to change the way you think

I agree with above posters saying psychedelics as well, just do it legally under a doctors care

And given your post history you def need to make some lifestyle changes

[blueberryboy]

Did you actually have the opportunity to settle down/marry her or did she just peace out?

You're way too desperate. Your life revolves around trying to get the attention of women, most of whom you admit wouldn't make good longterm partners anyways.

You won't get over it until you can attain another high-quality woman again. You won't be able to keep one unless you grow up and stop being so desperate.

My memory is hazy on exactly what went down that lead to the demise of it all

I remember one day when the relationship was on its last legs she invited me over but I was giving her attitude and claiming I was busy etc

Bad mistake clearly

Then I remember one day being like " man you hardly even fking reply anymore " I guess she was checking out

And then I found out she got an online bf and now a real one

Her body count is low probably about 5 ~

And then I dated this complete crazy high body count sloot after her that was a headache to deal with...so it's almost like when that ended.. her behavior made my the previous girl look really good


Did i have an absolute shot at locking her down?

Maybe not....but I sure didn't help my case at the time