You know you’re a douchebag if you…

[OT2000]

Do the following…

Driving:

Go slow in the passing lane.
Speed up in the passing lane when others go around you.
Pull out in front and drive slow.
Slow down when light turns yellow.

Shopping:

Leave your cart in the middle of the aisle.
Talk on your phone when checking out.
Had a thousand coupons and don’t tell the person behind you.
Asking for a manager like it’s the cool thing to do and giving them advice.

Dining out:

Talking loud.
Asking questions that are answered by the menu.
Being rude to the waiter/waitress especially if they are trying.


Just to start.

[headturner1]

I don’t see “miscing” as part of your list?

But, I guess your list is a work in progress, so it’ll just grow

[hendrixfreak70]

Every single one is worthy of a fist to the face. Dead serious.

[Hutrapper]

This song was goat when I was a kid. Fuk, we were dumbasses.

[Procta]

-jabbed
-coldcel
-yank

to add a few more

[OT2000]

I don’t see “miscing” as part of your list?

But, I guess your list is a work in progress, so it’ll just grow

If you’re a miscer with a lengthy ignore list

[Retoaded]

Add to shopping:

Leave your cart in the middle of a parking space or push it up on a curb, instead of taking it back to the MOTHERFUKKING CART RETURN TEN FEET AWAY.

[desslok]

Do the following…

Driving:

Go slow in the passing lane.
Speed up in the passing lane when others go around you.
Pull out in front and drive slow.
Slow down when light turns yellow.

Shopping:

Leave your cart in the middle of the aisle.
Talk on your phone when checking out.
Had a thousand coupons and don’t tell the person behind you.
Asking for a manager like it’s the cool thing to do and giving them advice.

Dining out:

Talking loud.
Asking questions that are answered by the menu.
Being rude to the waiter/waitress especially if they are trying.


Just to start.

Driving:
The idiots that HAVE to pass you on the left lane to get in front of you before the intersection and then turn right, making you almost stop even though there was no one behind you.

The idiots that keep turning left after the arrow turns red, blocking the people the direction from going on their green.
^bonus points if turning into stopped traffic and get stuck completely blocking traffic .

[DolphinPilot]

In general use your phone in public without any situational or environmental awareness. People trying to walk by, you're having a private conversation in public, etc.

[TheAdlerian]

Do the following…

Driving:

Go slow in the passing lane.
Speed up in the passing lane when others go around you.
Pull out in front and drive slow.
Slow down when light turns yellow.

Shopping:

Leave your cart in the middle of the aisle.
Talk on your phone when checking out.
Had a thousand coupons and don’t tell the person behind you.
Asking for a manager like it’s the cool thing to do and giving them advice.

Dining out:

Talking loud.
Asking questions that are answered by the menu.
Being rude to the waiter/waitress especially if they are trying.


Just to start.

I agree.

The one thing many people get wrong is that the "passing lane" is ONLY for traveling the SPEED LIMIT.

So, if you are in a 65 speed limit zone, you are only allowed to pass at 65mph, not 80 or 90.

[DanteEdmond]

Slow down when light turns yellow.

.

yellow traffic signal light means "CAUTION: The light is about to turn red." Almost every DMV manual instructs you to slow down at yellow light

[TheAdlerian]

yellow traffic signal light means "CAUTION: The light is about to turn red." Almost every DMV manual instructs you to slow down at yellow light

That's also correct.

If you would cause a problem by slowing down, go through, but typically means to slow and stop before the light turns red.

[Adam16121]

Ask questions about products while in the front of a long line in the grocery store. Especially if they are stupid questions with the answers on the label.

[desslok]

Ask questions about products while in the front of a long line in the grocery store. Especially if they are stupid questions with the answers on the label.

And then tell them you need to cash your welfare check and pay with food stamps.

[nn586]

I agree.

The one thing many people get wrong is that the "passing lane" is ONLY for traveling the SPEED LIMIT.

So, if you are in a 65 speed limit zone, you are only allowed to pass at 65mph, not 80 or 90.

Bullchit, if you are doing 65 in the left hand lane in a 65 mph zone you're a douche bag. You wanna do the speed limit like a pleb go to the right. Left lane is for moggers who are going at least 10 mph over the limit.

[squat_blaster]

When the first car at a stop light is an entire car length behind the line at the light. The light is a long enough wait and the sensors aren't kicking in because it doesn't know a car is there. Then its another 5 seconds before douchebag reacts to the green and has put the phone down and step on the gas. Pull up to the line Azzhole.

[Cig Diesel]

Bullchit, if you are doing 65 in the left hand lane in a 65 mph zone you're a douche bag. You wanna do the speed limit like a pleb go to the right. Left lane is for moggers who are going at least 10 mph over the limit.

Left lane is for passing, regardless of how fast everyone is going. Speed limit & how fast the other cars are going relative to that speed limit are irrelevant. Use the left lane to pass, then move back over once it's safe to do so.

Left lane cruisers are quite possibly my biggest pet peeve. "I drive in da lef one"..no matter what. They'll come off the ramp and go straight to the left lane regardless of the traffic situation. They will sit in that lane until they reach their next destination. Sure sign of a low IQ

[ymer]

Your username is OT2000

[ImpressiveGainz]

I agree.

The one thing many people get wrong is that the "passing lane" is ONLY for traveling the SPEED LIMIT.

So, if you are in a 65 speed limit zone, you are only allowed to pass at 65mph, not 80 or 90.

This is literally illegal in Texas; you will get a ticket for "impeding the flow of traffic" if you're doing the speed limit in the fast lane.

[nn586]

Left lane is for passing, regardless of how fast everyone is going. Speed limit & how fast the other cars are going relative to that speed limit are irrelevant. Use the left lane to pass, then move back over once it's safe to do so.

That's basically what I was saying but in a different way.

[paulinkansas]

Driving 20 MPH in a school zone when the sign says "20 MPH when lights are flashing". The lights are not flashing and the speed limit is 30 MPH.

[darkninja67]

yellow traffic signal light means "CAUTION: The light is about to turn red." Almost every DMV manual instructs you to slow down at yellow light

TRH

It's an automatic fail if you are taking a driving test and go through a yellow light. Does not mean speed up.


You're a douche if you park "BMW style" is a parking lot. Usually gets keyed from where I am from. Your X5 isn't that special really.

[Hartley110]

When you are in the left lane going 20km/hr over the limit already and but it's STILL not fast enough for the ****g0rt behind you who's car is in your back seat. Or when they pass you in the right lane.

****g00rts who are behind you and speed passed you and go in front of you. Congrats idiot, you got to the next red light 2 seconds faster than me, wasted more gas, wasted break pads, and now will wait the same amount of time for the green.

[lightsarefallin]

Read your OP and immediately heard 'lazy bones' in my mind.

[naich]

People who walk at a mind numbingly slow pace in public congestion areas and then act like they are seeing a ghost when someone walks around them. Usually fat old women with short hair.

If you choose to grab the dumbells, take a half step back and do shrugs/cuels/whatever 1 ft from the rack/mirror, which stops anyone from putting their chit away until you are done. Bonus points for grounding the dumbells at the base of the rack instead of putting them back in between sets. Always a bloat lord doing 100lb shrugs with made up form that turns it into a weird grip excercise instead of a trap movement. ANything to use the heaviest dumbells. Never seen using heavy barbells with decent form.

People who super set using the squat rack when its busy.

People who smoke, because if you smoke you litter. 100% of the time, never once met a ciggie who didnt throw it on the ground. Watch them in traffic if you dont believe me.

People who make up lists of things that piss them off when they should be working, wait wut?

[bradlehman]

Reminds me of the Citizen vs. Civilian distinction in Starship Troopers.

[BillTheBro]

Sometimes when it's a right on red possibility, I'm just not paying attention. And if some phgt behind me honks his horn, I'll make sure to wait for the light to change and take the slowest right turn of my life and then just coast up the lane looking to my left to see if he wants to engage in a stare down as he passes me.

Lol I guess we both douchebags in that situation.

[lightsarefallin]

Reminds me of the Citizen vs. Civilian distinction in Starship Troopers.

fuking lazy bones, am I right?

What a simple test of a$$holery.

[PepperedAngus]

I don’t see “miscing” as part of your list?

its assumed were all douchebags for this one, but we give each other a pass.

[nn586]

Reminds me of the Citizen vs. Civilian distinction in Starship Troopers.