You are standing on the edge of the abyss.
You have lived a certain way your entire life.
You have tried and failed many times.
You have blamed yourself, your family, your genetics, the world, circumstance, even God.
Deep down inside, you KNOW the truth.
YOU are responsible.
YOU sabotage yourself.
YOU fail to believe in yourself. YOU fail to make the decision, to choose to change and not stop at anything to make that change. It is YOUR responsibility.
You are at the edge of the abyss.
It is a place that is deep, dark, and wide. Right now, the other side is nothing more than an ideal to you ... an aspiration. You are not certain if it is or can be real. When you see other people make the leap, you convince yourself that their situation was somehow different. Their genetics gave them more spring in their leap. Their parents raised them with more confidence to jump into the inky blackness. They had friends you do not who encouraged them to make the transition. They found a narrower section of the gaping chasm and had a shorter distance to travel.
Time, however, does not wait. The hands of the clock methodically lurch to the next tickmark and the turning of gears cycles the seasons. The days come, they go. The phases of the moon wax and wane. We have good days, we have bad days, yet there you remain.
You know what this side is like. You have explored every nook and cranny. You are familiar with the firmness of the ground beneath your feet, you have memorized each shrub and each rock and know what hides beneath them - you have left no pebble unturned. You are distinctly aware of the pattern you take each day, you have a firm and set path. You flail about miserably and feel the control slipping from your grasp but succumb to the rote comfort of staying here, where it is familiar.
You have even slipped to the bottom of your pit and stood curled in the bottom, wrapped around yourself, massaging the scrapes and wounds and whimpering in discomforting wishing it would end.
HOW MANY PEOPLE MUST CROSS BEFORE YOU? HOW LONG UNTIL YOUR SIDE IS EMPTY?
It really does not matter, does it. No! There could be one or there could be a million people on the other side, but this is not about them. It is you. This is your world. These are your choices. It is your decision to make.
You know, deep down inside, what is right and wrong.
When you do the wrong thing, you let the guilt grow inside. It becomes thick and clings to everything you do. When you skip a workout because it is more convenient, when you eat a food because at that moment your senses are tuned to the quick, fast, immediate, and superficial pleasure of the taste - something deeper tells you there is something more and you should be able to control a simple thing like the movement of a fork from the plate to your mouth.
It really does seem simple, doesn't it, so why is it so hard?
HERE YOU ARE.
You have the power inside you to make a decision that is PERMANENT. LASTING. Not an attempt, not a try. You can have faith. The irony is this: while you do not have faith that you can make the leap, make the change, jump into the transformation, you know what? You have faith that you COULD have that faith.
WHAT?! Yes. It is a seed of doubt within you, but something tells you that the nagging DOUBTS you bring up, the hestiation, the failure to fully commit - something informs you, inside, that if you could just set those aside and focus on faith and core belief, that you CAN and WILL manage the change. You will make it. You can do it. You have faith in having faith but hesitate at the brink.
That's what it means, really. You are NOT guaranteed to make it to the other side. It is called A LEAP OF FAITH. This means that FAITH will carry you through to the other side. But if you leap without that faith, the chasm is dark, it is foreboding, and it can and will consume you.
Look, it's time to stop wasting your time. TIME DOESN'T CARE. It moves. It flows. YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AT. You are insanely familiar with it. You are comfortable. But you also KNOW how you feel. You KNOW the guilt, the pain. And it is not because you don't have the body you want. No ---- you would love to be happy with the skin you wear each day, but the underlying guilt comes not from the physical sense you manifest, but the emotion drive that lurks beneath the surface. The PAIN comes from the fact that it is about CONTROL and it is the LACK OF CONTROL that you are wearing on the outside. It is painful to look at yourself and realize that there are certain things that have taken advantage of you. Every one of us has our own reasons - emotional, physical, spiritual - and we are wrapped in those reasons. Whether it was an injury that incapacitated you for some time or an emotional emptiness that you tried to fill with food or simply the fact that you partied and enjoyed the concept of "live fast, sleep late, die young" until dying young was no longer an option but the scars of that unhealthy lifestyle planted themselves across your body like a badge of shame ... WHATEVER THE REASON, it is the INDECISION that is the source of your unhappiness.
So, we know you have faith in having faith. And we know you understand what it will take to be happy. So let's deal with one more reality: the comfort.
Think back. Take a long, deep look at your life. When did good things, the truly, heartfelt, life changing good things, come from staying in your comfort zone? Wasn't it the extra effort you put forth, the hard work, the sacrifice, the CHANGE, the movement, the dynamic aspect of your life that reaped those benefits? Have you ever worked REALLY HARD on something, and while the PROCESS was miserable and taxing, the REWARD of having accomplished it was euphoric and uplifting and you said, that was WORTH IT? Maybe you did this in your job, or with a hands-on project, or maybe it was boot camp or an exam you had to study for.
Isn't your LIFE the ULTIMATE REWARD?! Isn't that worth the ULTIMATE sacrifice?
If I told you I could PROMISE YOU that you would be in control of your life - total control - in the body you want, working at a job you love, satisfied with every aspect of what you do - If I could MAKE THAT GUARANTEE, only I said you would have to work at it - maybe 3 months, maybe 2 years, but it would be waiting at the end. Would you take it? Is it worth it? A happy, balanced life, satisfied, content?
DAMNIT - why don't you TAKE IT then? I don't need to offer it to you ... you have it. JUST BELIEVE IN IT. JUST DO IT. FORGET THE EXCUSES YOU ARE MAKING FOR YOURSELF. STOP BEING AFRAID OF SUCCEEDING. You can and will do it. It has happened time and time again. And it is not a nutrition plan or workout program or supplement, it is a DECISION that starts with YOU to BELIEVE you can do and THEN DO IT.
If you are at the edge, STOP WAITING. TAKE ACTION. You have loitered long enough. See the other side? THAT IS A LEAP OF FAITH AWAY. You know what? It might be uncomfortable. But you KNOW UNCOMFORTABLE don't you? Isn't it worth it to trade a few months of a new kind of discomfort for the rest of your life lived IN COMFORT?!
I am asking, pleading that you do not remain on the edge. You have tried to find the bridge, taken tentative steps off ledge and asked for someone to reach out and pull you across. Right now, those aren't options. But your legs - YOUR LEGS - can carry you to the other side.
Think. FEEL. LIVE. LOVE LIFE. ACT. JUMP. LEAP. HAVE FAITH. BELIEVE.
You deserve it. The people who love you deserve it. You are human just like anyone else who has transformed their life, and stop selling yourself short by trying to come up with a convincing reason of why they are different. They are not. They have simply made a decision you are tinkering with. Stop tinkering. MAKE IT. DO IT.
No, my life isn't all ups, there are downs, I make mistakes, I learn, I will have my fallbacks, my times where I slip, make mistakes, feel pain, but that is part of living. I love those opportunities. But in order to learn to embrace them and squeeze every ounce of passion from those moments, I had to stand and stare into a camera 4 years ago and decide, once and for all, things would be different. I spent a quarter century cynical, depressed, angry and mad at the cards I'd been dealt before I realized I had the whole deck sitting in my lap. I wish I could figure out exactly what pushed me through, what gave me that inner "click" to have the faith it took to take control and change my life, but I do not know exactly. I spend every day trying to capture that and share it - if I could give it to you, I would. It is so amazing to see lives changed, people unfold, become their full potential, their true selves. LIFE SHATTERING. It only makes the world a better place.
But I cannot GIVE it to you, you are the one who has to give it to yourself. Won't you do that? Do you realize in helping YOU, you will help many others just through the example you set?
This is an open letter to those of you reading this who are standing at the edge of the abyss.
Thread: Open Letter to those at the Edge