2000s/2010s Miscers that Struggled Dating : Did you make it ?

[otakutrevan]

I'm curious. Bruh please tell me ya'll made it.

[bradlehman]

I made it in the sense that I got a gf in 2011 and was married for three years but am now getting divorced because I failed to realize early enough that she was nuts. Still gon' make it because this is now my first time back in the dating world since beginning my career, dramatically increasing my income, owning a home, having the ability to travel and buy nice things. Working hard on aesthetics and looksmaxxing at the moment and should be in prime condition when the warm weather rolls back around here.

[Gosu14]

Yes

https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...4685441&page=1

[OmarionB2K]

Damn i remmeber OP

[FU3L]

I struggled for a period.

I'm married now, not sure if that counts as making it.

[LikeAMachine]

Sure, around 2009 I came to this forum after a relationship. Struggled for a bit mostly because I could visibly be seen by women, giving a **** what women thought of me.

Literally the second I didn't give a flying fuk if a women liked me or not I started bathing in pussy.

Got married and divorced. Learned a ton about the RIGHT person versus the prettiest girl I could find.

Married again now to someone who understand I might hate the sound of their voice at times, but this is a legacy building partnership, not puppy love, cutesy, instagram bull****.

Didn't understand the first marriage that I am a serious and stoic person, I needed someone that could handle long periods without affection (affection not sex, think cuddling and hand holding etc) and someone who would be like "yo I need some attention right now" versus expecting me to just ****king know.


Lots of lessons in life, wish I had them in my 20's but thus is life, hoping to pass them on so my children are hip to the game long before I was.

[bradlehman]

Sure, around 2009 I came to this forum after a relationship. Struggled for a bit mostly because I could visibly be seen by women, giving a **** what women thought of me.

Literally the second I didn't give a flying fuk if a women liked me or not I started bathing in pussy.

Got married and divorced. Learned a ton about the RIGHT person versus the prettiest girl I could find.

Married again now to someone who understand I might hate the sound of their voice at times, but this is a legacy building partnership, not puppy love, cutesy, instagram bull****.

Didn't understand the first marriage that I am a serious and stoic person, I needed someone that could handle long periods without affection (affection not sex, think cuddling and hand holding etc) and someone who would be like "yo I need some attention right now" versus expecting me to just ****king know.


Lots of lessons in life, wish I had them in my 20's but thus is life, hoping to pass them on so my children are hip to the game long before I was.

Theme song over the past few months before I got back in the gym and starting looking forward instead of backward was Ooh La La by Faces ("I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger....").

Also, with respect to that bolded part, finding someone who will communicate openly with you is definitely key. My ex would never say anything like that until eventually losing her chit and screaming about whatever she thought I was doing or not doing. I have no interest in playing those games and getting blind-sided with that type of bullchit. Just tell me what you want and I'll do my best.

[otakutrevan]

I made it in the sense that I got a gf in 2011 and was married for three years but am now getting divorced because I failed to realize early enough that she was nuts. Still gon' make it because this is now my first time back in the dating world since beginning my career, dramatically increasing my income, owning a home, having the ability to travel and buy nice things. Working hard on aesthetics and looksmaxxing at the moment and should be in prime condition when the warm weather rolls back around here.

King ****.

Yes

https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showt...4685441&page=1

ok ok

Damn i remmeber OP

whats hannin KING

I struggled for a period.

I'm married now, not sure if that counts as making it.

damn king

Sure, around 2009 I came to this forum after a relationship. Struggled for a bit mostly because I could visibly be seen by women, giving a **** what women thought of me.

Literally the second I didn't give a flying fuk if a women liked me or not I started bathing in pussy.

Got married and divorced. Learned a ton about the RIGHT person versus the prettiest girl I could find.

Married again now to someone who understand I might hate the sound of their voice at times, but this is a legacy building partnership, not puppy love, cutesy, instagram bull****.

Didn't understand the first marriage that I am a serious and stoic person, I needed someone that could handle long periods without affection (affection not sex, think cuddling and hand holding etc) and someone who would be like "yo I need some attention right now" versus expecting me to just ****king know.


Lots of lessons in life, wish I had them in my 20's but thus is life, hoping to pass them on so my children are hip to the game long before I was.

This is what Im talking about

[5one5]

It took me some time to figure it out. As I got older I started seeing the bigger picture on dating and started really getting to know myself a little more. (I'm 35 now) I currently have a girlfriend and we live very happily together. Its been one awesome journey for me and I definitely hope everyone of you guys gets to experience the feeling. Stay strong out there my warriors!


p.s

I just realized my join date to post ratio. oh lawd

[Dyel1991]

Was a 5'8 120 pound shy twink with no fashion sense. Admittedly I have a bit of an advantage because I have facial aesthetics. Would have fit right in as a Disney channel star back in the day. Had the HS musical Zac Efron and Justin Bieber hair. Would do very well talking to girls on myspace, ********, and apps when they started coming out..... but I was a huge beta shy pussy manlet twink. Too scared and awkward to ever meet up with these girls in person. Way toooo scared to make the first move when I did. I am talking literally shaking with anxiety. I was a normal, funny, lil cocky, chill bro when I was with my boys, teammates, or just people I know and am comfortable with in person... and a quiet awkward mute around girls and people I wasn't comfortable with.

Senior year of college 2014 I was dating a blonde smoke show. Knew her for years online and then started hanging out with her when she transferred to my college. I had to take a couple shots to get the courage to actually go meet her in person on campus. Was going great for 3 months and then I decided it was a great idea to let her get a tinder so she could see all the matches and how hot she was and would raise her self esteem.... yeah I cringe now. Cucked myself. Ended quickly after that. Looking back there were soooo many red flags.

Started lifting soon after that. Over the last 9 years I put in the work. I have gone from 5'8 120 to 5'10 208. Jacked Af. Tattted and sick flow. Looks maxed. Style maxed, and social skills maxed. I am a completely different person. I payed attention to how slayers would talk, text, and interact with girls. Over time it started to all come natural to me. With the success the confidence grew. With the more confidence I stopped giving AF. At one point I was 28-30 with rotations of 18 year old sorority girls, big 10 college cheerleaders, divorced milfs with giant houses, and everything in between. Now I am in a happy relationship and thinking about marriage.

Start:


skinny:

[otakutrevan]

Was a 5'8 120 pound shy twink with no fashion sense. Admittedly I have a bit of an advantage because I have facial aesthetics. Would have fit right in as a Disney channel star back in the day. Had the HS musical Zac Efron and Justin Bieber hair. Would do very well talking to girls on myspace, ********, and apps when they started coming out..... but I was a huge beta shy pussy manlet twink. Too scared and awkward to ever meet up with these girls in person. Way toooo scared to make the first move when I did. I am talking literally shaking with anxiety. I was a normal, funny, lil cocky, chill bro when I was with my boys, teammates, or just people I know and am comfortable with in person... and a quiet awkward mute around girls and people I wasn't comfortable with.

Senior year of college 2014 I was dating a blonde smoke show. Knew her for years online and then started hanging out with her when she transferred to my college. I had to take a couple shots to get the courage to actually go meet her in person on campus. Was going great for 3 months and then I decided it was a great idea to let her get a tinder so she could see all the matches and how hot she was and would raise her self esteem.... yeah I cringe now. Cucked myself. Ended quickly after that. Looking back there were soooo many red flags.

Started lifting soon after that. Over the last 9 years I put in the work. I have gone from 5'8 120 to 5'10 208. Jacked Af. Tattted and sick flow. Looks maxed. Style maxed, and social skills maxed. I am a completely different person. I payed attention to how slayers would talk, text, and interact with girls. Over time it started to all come natural to me. With the success the confidence grew. With the more confidence I stopped giving AF. At one point I was 28-30 with rotations of 18 year old sorority girls, big 10 college cheerleaders, divorced milfs with giant houses, and everything in between. Now I am in a happy relationship and thinking about marriage.

Start:
[img]https://i.imgur.com/PclcdHT.jpg[img]

skinny:
[img]https://i.imgur.com/yagMWVs.jpg[img]


[img]https://i.imgur.com/NnDx1JA.jpg[img]

[img]https://i.imgur.com/lkK0uIw.jpg[img]

breh that jaw line lmao, you were just a late bloomer. congrats king.

[skinnyfat88]

After my Highschool GF & I brokeup I struggled in college (lived at home and had no idea how to escalate).
Began dating a very attractive (but toxic) girl at 23. She rushed me towards marriage and kids and I accepted it because I didn't think I could do better. Realized we were horrible for eachother and she slowly just treated me like a beta provider so I got out of that. Divorce with a young child sucks but we're all doing good now (& co-parent pretty well) so it was 100% for the best.
Had to build myself and my confidence back up after that but only took me a year or so to get to a pretty good place. Def put in the effort to looksmax/stylemax/get my chit together/learn more about dating.

Dated an amazing woman for 2 years. Stayed in touch and re-connected but didn't workout again as she feels overwhelmed by the fact that I have a kid. Told her I can't stay in touch as it keeps me from opening myself up to other opportunities (which I learned when I dated another really solid woman in that time but couldn't progress given my feelings for said previous woman/lingering presence of her). The following months were some of the hardest of my life as, while her reasoning is understandable as a dealbreaker, it's painful to accept someone you felt could've been a great longterm fit and have gotten to know over ~4years is willing to let you go.

While after other breakups i sought validation in the form of hookups/attention from other women, I knew I didn't need that anymore & haven't dated or had sex in the last 6 months. While not fully "over it," I've moved on and am at peace with it enough that I'm going to start dating again.
My "game" when out and about comes and goes and I'd like it to be more consistent but between my social circle/apps/etc I do fine.

All in all though, myself a dozen years ago would be pretty happy/proud of who I've become and the opportunities I have with quality women as a result.

We all gonna make it brahs.

[otakutrevan]

After my Highschool GF & I brokeup I struggled in college (lived at home and had no idea how to escalate).
Began dating a very attractive (but toxic) girl at 23. She rushed me towards marriage and kids and I accepted it because I didn't think I could do better. Realized we were horrible for eachother and she slowly just treated me like a beta provider so I got out of that. Divorce with a young child sucks but we're all doing good now (& co-parent pretty well) so it was 100% for the best.
Had to build myself and my confidence back up after that but only took me a year or so to get to a pretty good place. Def put in the effort to looksmax/stylemax/get my chit together/learn more about dating.

Dated an amazing woman for 2 years. Stayed in touch and re-connected but didn't workout again as she feels overwhelmed by the fact that I have a kid. Told her I can't stay in touch as it keeps me from opening myself up to other opportunities (which I learned when I dated another really solid woman in that time but couldn't progress given my feelings for said previous woman/lingering presence of her). The following months were some of the hardest of my life as, while her reasoning is understandable as a dealbreaker, it's painful to accept someone you felt could've been a great longterm fit and have gotten to know over ~4years is willing to let you go.

While after other breakups i sought validation in the form of hookups/attention from other women, I knew I didn't need that anymore & haven't dated or had sex in the last 6 months. While not fully "over it," I've moved on and am at peace with it enough that I'm going to start dating again.
My "game" when out and about comes and goes and I'd like it to be more consistent but between my social circle/apps/etc I do fine.

All in all though, myself a dozen years ago would be pretty happy/proud of who I've become and the opportunities I have with quality women as a result.

We all gonna make it brahs.

sorry about the divorce king. stay uppppp

[HockeyBacon18]

Hope you're doing well Otaku, always rooting for yah.

joined the misc back when I was fresh outta a BPD breakup which was unknown at the time as I was only 18 and todays mental health ideas were not nearly as well known so I just thought I was a fat, depressed, piece of **** (which I also was). Thanks to Misc guidance, I lost alot of weight and then had to relearn how to talk to girls. You'd be surprised how hard that can be when you viewed yourself as unattractive and how your only experience ended in the way it did for me.

Fooled around for a few years after this, had some potential girls that didn't work out, was the ******* to some others. Then I met another girl who I just instantly clicked with. Roughly a 2 year relationship, that everything was great in, until it wasn't. We had plans of marrying, having kids etc and then slowly everything went downhill to the point where I was thankful when she broke up with me. I didn't even have the urge to try and win her back, I knew it was for the best.

That relationship was key as it let me figure out exactly what I wanted in a partner and what I didn't. Im a sucker for those playful moments, the fun experiences, those kind of things. Relationships needing to be based on more than sex and hooking up and more on just experiencing those fun moments together. Ive tried to realign my potential girls to suit that.

Since then, i got into grad school and have been dating around a little bit since I got in.

Why am I on here tonight? Well I think the girl ive been dating for the last month is ghosting me so here we are.

But I know were all gonna make it boyos.

[otakutrevan]

Hope you're doing well Otaku, always rooting for yah.

joined the misc back when I was fresh outta a BPD breakup which was unknown at the time as I was only 18 and todays mental health ideas were not nearly as well known so I just thought I was a fat, depressed, piece of **** (which I also was). Thanks to Misc guidance, I lost alot of weight and then had to relearn how to talk to girls. You'd be surprised how hard that can be when you viewed yourself as unattractive and how your only experience ended in the way it did for me.

Fooled around for a few years after this, had some potential girls that didn't work out, was the ******* to some others. Then I met another girl who I just instantly clicked with. Roughly a 2 year relationship, that everything was great in, until it wasn't. We had plans of marrying, having kids etc and then slowly everything went downhill to the point where I was thankful when she broke up with me. I didn't even have the urge to try and win her back, I knew it was for the best.

That relationship was key as it let me figure out exactly what I wanted in a partner and what I didn't. Im a sucker for those playful moments, the fun experiences, those kind of things. Relationships needing to be based on more than sex and hooking up and more on just experiencing those fun moments together. Ive tried to realign my potential girls to suit that.

Since then, i got into grad school and have been dating around a little bit since I got in.

Why am I on here tonight? Well I think the girl ive been dating for the last month is ghosting me so here we are.

But I know were all gonna make it boyos.

Grad School > Ghosting

sorry that happened mane.

[HockeyBacon18]

Grad School > Ghosting

sorry that happened mane.

all good man, control what you can control and dont sweat the other stuff. Although I will say, not entirely sure she ghosted, as I did reach out and got an answer immediately so she may just be trying to fuk with me... so that means ill ghost.

[4Bertuzzi4]

Been a Misc Lurker since early-mid 2000's

Made it but bah gawd it was a struggle. Low confidence and didn't know a thing about girls, how to escalate and even if I did, the money wasn't there to keep them interested. Women finally became interested in me after I started making decent money and lifting. Figured out Canadian and American chicks were mostly high maintenance princesses, full of themselves, selfish and lazy. The hot ones were few and far between and highly in demand. A long term fiance cheated and I booted her to the curb... Had enough of North American sloots, considering she was maybe a 6/10 face, 8/10 body.

Realized Eastern European women were the most feminine, sexy, hard working and didn't put up with BS from anyone. They take care of themselves, their home and their boyfriend/husband. After going through a few of them, one being a complete nympho slutbag Russian and a solid 9.5/10, I found the Unicorn. A mid 20's virgin while I was early 30's. Dated for many years and eventually married her. Had kids, we're all still in our mountainside house and even if I want out at times, the loss of family and my assets is too large a risk to take.

That angry "wanting a divorce" feeling is generally very powerful but short lived, so if you dudes ever feel the same way, just breathe and try not to say stupid chit. Do you really want to lose everything you worked so hard for, over a few stupid words and weak-a$$ feelings?

[Dyel1991]

breh that jaw line lmao, you were just a late bloomer. congrats king.

Tehe thank you men

[dolviolex]

Been a Misc Lurker since early-mid 2000's

Made it but bah gawd it was a struggle. Low confidence and didn't know a thing about girls, how to escalate and even if I did, the money wasn't there to keep them interested. Women finally became interested in me after I started making decent money and lifting. Figured out Canadian and American chicks were mostly high maintenance princesses, full of themselves, selfish and lazy. The hot ones were few and far between and highly in demand. A long term fiance cheated and I booted her to the curb... Had enough of North American sloots, considering she was maybe a 6/10 face, 8/10 body.

Realized Eastern European women were the most feminine, sexy, hard working and didn't put up with BS from anyone. They take care of themselves, their home and their boyfriend/husband. After going through a few of them, one being a complete nympho slutbag Russian and a solid 9.5/10, I found the Unicorn. A mid 20's virgin while I was early 30's. Dated for many years and eventually married her. Had kids, we're all still in our mountainside house and even if I want out at times, the loss of family and my assets is too large a risk to take.

That angry "wanting a divorce" feeling is generally very powerful but short lived, so if you dudes ever feel the same way, just breathe and try not to say stupid chit. Do you really want to lose everything you worked so hard for, over a few stupid words and weak-a$$ feelings?

Marrying a mid 20’s virgin is likely the issue in your relationship. Maybe not, but often those individuals change drastically through the remainder of their 20’s and 30’s. That’s not a unicorn at all.

[BigBallsMcgee]

https://voca.ro/1beNPH2JFv6Z

[chivasregal]

I made it in the sense that I got a gf in 2011 and was married for three years but am now getting divorced because I failed to realize early enough that she was nuts. Still gon' make it because this is now my first time back in the dating world since beginning my career, dramatically increasing my income, owning a home, having the ability to travel and buy nice things. Working hard on aesthetics and looksmaxxing at the moment and should be in prime condition when the warm weather rolls back around here.

Damn bro! Met my ex-wife in 2011. Dated for 5 years, engaged 2, married 2! Divorced since 2019. I feel you

[otakutrevan]

https://voca.ro/1beNPH2JFv6Z

My brother in christ I am glad to hear your voice. Come back to the discord mane. PurplePill > Black Pill

https://voca.ro/16H0Qsds4LGT

[iamdetermined]

Kind of. When I came here at 19 I was scared to even approach girls and overthought everything. I made it based on the daydreams I had back then as a htc teen. Girls approaching me, young supersloot gf that was down for anything, fulfilling my dreams of being the bbc fantasy of white girls. Over the years I've had a few gf's, ONS, and a couple short term hookups. With the exception of the last two years this was all spaced out. Never really became a player or anything.

Honestly toeing the line between abundance mentality and apathy these days. Get more attention but the haram of most modern women turns me off. Gonna just join a church and find a wife srs.

[otakutrevan]

Kind of. When I came here at 19 I was scared to even approach girls and overthought everything. I made it based on the daydreams I had back then as a htc teen. Girls approaching me, young supersloot gf that was down for anything, fulfilling my dreams of being the bbc fantasy of white girls. Over the years I've had a few gf's, ONS, and a couple short term hookups. With the exception of the last two years this was all spaced out. Never really became a player or anything.

Honestly toeing the line between abundance mentality and apathy these days. Get more attention but the haram of most modern women turns me off. Gonna just join a church and find a wife srs.

Mirin your end game result. Not religious, but I've met some super dope muslim chicks. Dem tradwifes for sure.

Im for the most part on positive apathy. If I'm being a normal dude, making some jokes, fitted, and just trying to vibe ? If that never seems appealing to a women, then it is what it izzzzzz

[Eggiesinabasket]

Yeah, I made it

Background: super introvert, incel. Never talked to guys or had guy friends--maybe one in highschool. Never actually had any real friends until highschool.

Didn't start talking to guys in person (cuz I was an mmo player so I had a little online interaction) and dating until I was 21. I went to misc to read threads in order to understand guys thought processes and how they precieved girls (lmaaaao).

Ended up getting my first in person boyfriend, dated for 5-6years.

I ended it because I realized he wasn't the one and was actually pretty terrible, but I only stuck through it because I didn't know any better and thought I had to.

Single for about a year.. tried dating in between (which was a really chitty experience), there was one person I was almost serious with but it didnt work out. Then gave up. But when I gave up--unexpectedly without trying, I finally met someone I was compatible with--been with him about a year now.


We are all gonna make it

[alltrapbrah]

I still struggle with dating and women, but that's an improvement considering I was utterly HOPELESS before.

Life is cruel, because back when I was in school and university and stuff, I had the ideal environment to meet women, but I had absolutely zero skills and experience. Now after a decade or so I have acquired some skills and some experience, but my environment is ****e, and I have next to no access to women.

My present situation is mostly my fault though. If I made greater efforts to socialise I have no doubts I could improve my access to women, but generally I keep to myself and don't make a lot of effort socially. Online dating gave me some access to women but I've since stopped using it as I have compulsivity issues that I can't control, and believe me I've tried.

As the years roll on I've become more accepting of my situation. And I don't mean a pessimistic "i'm totally phucked" kinda acceptance, but rather a realistic whilst also positive outlook, and living life on the terms it has presented itself to me.

[DustinTheHuss]

Damn bro! Met my ex-wife in 2011. Dated for 5 years, engaged 2, married 2! Divorced since 2019. I feel you

I remember when you were engaged to your ex-wife and she sounded sketchy then.

[maori-rap]

Never made it. Still never been on a date. Made loads of attempts over the decades but females want nothing to do with me.

I kinda threw the towel in during my mid-30s as it was a waste of time. Just accepted my celibacy now and moved on.

[DustinTheHuss]

I wish I would make it but I think my years of young Chads would make any older guys suspicious and not trusting, so I will be forever single with cats. At least I enjoy my cats and I'm used to traveling alone. I'm going to Europe solo again in April. I went solo internationally for the first time last year.

[FAPhaggot]

Not even close. I haven't even had an opportunity to try and hold hands with a woman in about 8 years.

There's no women at work. There's zero single women in my social circle. Women in my social circle won't hook me up. Apps are a bust. Bars are a bust. I've just got no options available.

Currently trying to lose 20 lbs and give apps another chance. That's about my only ticket out at this point.