went NC on severe oneitis again

[SmirkingSneak]

Hi brothers
it's been 2 years now I'm reading these threads every now and then.
Just checked in to see what's your take on my story.

I'm a middle aged man, 2 years ago I began hanging out with a girl much younger than me. I wasn't interested in her, actually I found her ugly. I was doing that to get to another person she knew! But then the chase of this other person went longer than expected, and in the meantime, I enjoyed this girl's company more and more, until falling in love for her 9 months after. I know your theories about alpha males, confidence, showing immediately sexual interest, kino, etc. but I wasn't interested in this girl! So I acted as a friend for a long time.

And actually it was her who, in this long time, said things to me like 'you are the man of my life', 'I would marry you', 'you are my male crush number one', hugged me first time, etc. I thought it was just affection, but when I felt in love with her I tried to ask her out. Maybe that was a bad move, but remember she is much younger and it was all so weird for both of us.

At first she seemed happy and we had some months of a 'soft' relationship (no complete sex, no officiality, no knowing each other friends...) but then I tried to get into a more serious relationship and she gave me LJBF.
I tried hanging out as 'friends' but she acted much less affectionate and interested, sometimes ignored me, etc. so long story short, 2 months after I broke up.

I started hanging out with two friends of her. I didn't like them but we became good friends, they told me that she spoke very bad things about me after knowing I was befriending them, I think that was pure jealousy. But I showed them the truth, then she met this girl online (she's bisexual) and they began a long distance relationship.

I started dating other girls but with them things didn't function, she was spying on my social media every now and then and I'm sure our mutual friends gave her updates. Last summer I sent her a message and went NC, all that time I was missing her as f.... Not a day without thinking about her and missing her.

Then, last october, I sent her another message and we began talking again every now and then. I knew I couldn't trust her so I didn't want to get in touch with her again, just talk with her sometimes. She was very curious about why I was contacting her again, but I left her without a direct answer for some months, until I said her that I was doing this because I missed her. She wasn't talking to me about her gf, so I thought something had happened between them if she was chatting with me.

But then I sent lunch at her home to celebrate something meaningful for us, and she said thank you, I appreciate but don't do this because it's not respectful for my gf. I asked, so chatting with affection etc. is good but sending you a lunch is not good why so? She answered me that her gf wasn't ok with all that but for chatting, she could 'keep an eye closed'. I understood that this all was bull**** and I close again.

She didn't answer anything, I spoke about all that to one of our mutual friend, she talked to her and told me that she said 'I don't want to hear him, I'm engaged, He is bothering me'. I told her 'please tell her to answer me something to my closure mex', and she texted me just the same bull****. I guess our friend didn't tell her she knew about all our conversations of the past months! But she tried to sell me that lie. So now I blocked her on every social media (also phone calls are blocked).

Still miss the time spent with this girl one year and a half ago. "She had given me something that my heart could not forget." as Cat Stevens sings. In the good times, if she just asked me, I would have married her - and I don't like marriage (actually it's not one of my purposes in life).

Sometimes I think that she 'cheating' on her gf to talk to me was a good signal, and that pursuing her instead of closing would have taken her back to me. But then I remind myself that a girl who cheats on another person might cheat on me just the same way. So I think I did the right thing. Yet it hurts. Please hold me bros.

Cliffs:
-become friend with a younger girl I don't like but seems interested
-9 months after, I fall in love with her
-ask her out, semi-platonic hidden relationship, then LJBF
-she lies about me
-I become friend with two friends of her, tell them the truth
-she engages with a girl,long distance
-I go NC and block her on socials
-some months ago I contact her, start talking again
-she lies to her gf about that
-I don't like that situation so I close
-she lies to me and our friends then, saying I was bothering her
-I go NC again blocked anywhere etc.
-still miss her

[Stray800]

I read that.

[DBoyDaRealest]

bro, you never even had sex.

This was nothing to her. It will never be anything. Try to have a normal dating life outside of this weird girl.

[JonEh10]

She was the best man

[MegaSloot]

You are bitching too much for this to be a "oneitis". Sounds more like a fukk buddy. Ditch the rude behavior and be sincere if you want a poke.

[SmirkingSneak]

You are bitching too much for this to be a "oneitis". Sounds more like a fukk buddy. Ditch the rude behavior and be sincere if you want a poke.

I don't, I actually dreamed of LTR with her. I was happy hanging out with her, like I never was with other people, it was not a matter of just sex. Remember I didn't like her, I fell in love with her after 9 months of friendship.

bro, you never even had sex.

This was nothing to her. It will never be anything. Try to have a normal dating life outside of this weird girl.

So why she cheated on her gf just to talk with me? Just asking