Anyone else feel like they'll be fine when they "turn it on"

[Hmatt330]

Whenever I tried at something, I've done well, whether it's school, career, gym, social, w/e

But I very often don't try. Don't know why- either $, home life, not feeling like it's the perfect decision, or don't know the point of doing things well if I can do them average with less effort, fuk. What's the ROI

[RealLifeAlpha]

LMAO..... have lived my entire life this way (ded fkn Srs)



so far it's worked out fine; except not having a quality hbb wife / GF @ age 33

[Hmatt330]

LMAO..... have lived my entire life this way (ded fkn Srs)



so far it's worked out fine; except not having a quality hbb wife / GF @ age 33

Bruh I thought that by 24 I would have, "turned it on"

But srs, y do we do this? Yeah my life is fine lol, but imagine if I cared to actually try. Whatcha think

[1slo5oh]

I understand what you are saying , its easy to become complacent in life... and its human nature to take the path of least resistance. Personally it took me a long time to understand how important it was to give 100% to whatever it was I was doing...Regardless if the only thing I got from it was the satisfaction of knowing I did my best... And fully understanding what my Grandfather meant when he said


"If its worth doing , its worth doing right!" ... sounds cliche AF I know but... dude wasnt wrong

[Hmatt330]

I understand what you are saying , its easy to become complacent in life... and its human nature to take the path of least resistance. Personally it took me a long time to understand how important it was to give 100% to whatever it was I was doing...Regardless if the only thing I got from it was the satisfaction of knowing I did my best... And fully understanding what my Grandfather meant when he said


"If its worth doing , its worth doing right!" ... sounds cliche AF I know but... dude wasnt wrong

I completely agree with you, in my head. It sounds perfect. And I do think that there is a momentum there when you start fully applying yourself..

But also, logically it's like why try? Why should I try for an amazing life, when I can do nothing and have an average-pretty good one?

I truly think it's one of those things where you don't understand how good it feels until you actually do it (srs)

[JoeDelts]

It's both a blessing and a curse imo. I'm kinda the same. I'm either " all in" with something or not at all. It's a blessing because when I do decide to do something I usually do it well but it also causes me to not do things I probably should do just because I'm not enthused enough to really give'er.

[ShakeBrah]

LMAO..... have lived my entire life this way (ded fkn Srs)



so far it's worked out fine; except not having a quality hbb wife / GF @ age 33

Same. Half ass everything unless I need to be srs crew. Then I slay crew.

[devin45k]

The older I get, the more switches I look to turn off metaphorically.

[Glutebrahhh]

Has anyone ever given it their all and still failed?

There are differences between your abilities and your circumstances.

[frutistafreeze]

Fuark I know this feeling all too well. I try to force myself to 'turn it on' even when it's the last thing I want to do. Glad i'm not the only one though

[Hmatt330]

Same. Half ass everything unless I need to be srs crew. Then I slay crew.

It's both a blessing and a curse imo. I'm kinda the same. I'm either " all in" with something or not at all. It's a blessing because when I do decide to do something I usually do it well but it also causes me to not do things I probably should do just because I'm not enthused enough to really give'er.

These

The older I get, the more switches I look to turn off metaphorically.

This is great, after you've grinded

Has anyone ever given it their all and still failed?

There are differences between your abilities and your circumstances.

Not sure what you mean by this, srs

Fuark I know this feeling all too well. I try to force myself to 'turn it on' even when it's the last thing I want to do. Glad i'm not the only one though

I used to do this, but I don't think this is sustainable. The question that I think is appropriate, is why try? Or what do I WANT to try on? When that's there, "trying" becomes fun (srs)

[Brosnbroccoli]

Yeah for sure.
I’m still in uni and I just chill and score amongst the 15% best in all classes and sometimes 1% if luck favours me. I’ll turn it up once I start my career.

[Hmatt330]

Yeah for sure.
I’m still in uni and I just chill and score amongst the 15% best in all classes and sometimes 1% if luck favours me. I’ll turn it up once I start my career.

Good for you brah, what do you want to do? You're 100% sure you'll be ready to turn it on, then?

[orangetide]

Still trying to find out how to turn it back "on" after my fiance died in feb. She was sick for the last 2 years and id have to frequently leavevwork to attend. This developed into almost a fear of starting things cuz i didnt know when id get called to leave/deal with emergency.

Career suffered during that time and i missed out on a ton of opportunities. Trying to care again, but it also feels like that ship has sailed and i should jus try in other aspects of life that were lacking.

[donblaximus]

Bruh I thought that by 24 I would have, "turned it on"

But srs, y do we do this? Yeah my life is fine lol, but imagine if I cared to actually try. Whatcha think

You do it for fear about "what If I do turn it on, and nothing happens" then you will have nothing to blame your failure on. This is the typical case of, I could do it if i wanted to but im just not trying so i can sleep at night syndrome

[Hutrapper]

I can literally do all my work in 45 mins a day if I was so motivated.

I live in a place where my outside of work activities change with the seasons. The anticipation of the next activity mean I can go hard at what I do for short periods of time, then move on to the next thing. It lets me go hard at things all the time.

but the same thing over and over and it would be hard to keep motivation even for things I like to do.

[Glutebrahhh]

Not sure what you mean by this, srs

I can totally relate to the OP. I've been successful at pretty much everything I've ever REALLY wanted. The things I've failed at? I gave up on, I didn't care, I thought they were important/interesting until I realized they weren't.

That being said, if I acknowledge my strengths (young-ish, smart-ish, healthy) are there any obstacles between me and my desires besides my will (or ego/self-doubt/whatever)? Not really. Which I think is what most miscers are expressing here. If you want something, you go ****ing get it.

But not everyone is blessed with health or brains or relatively minor demons. And I'd love to hear the story of someone who really felt like they gave something everything they had, and they still failed. Can a manlet be an NBA star? Sometimes circumstances truly separate us from our goals. Is this more clear?

edit: of course, if you have goals that are unattainable for reasons you can specifically identify i.e. genetics (the nba example), health (say you want to be an astronaut but you have brittle bones or something), or you want to be an air force pilot but you're too tall, etc. Then it's really your responsibility to reexamine your goals and find attainable achievements that allow you to succeed under the circumstances.

[donblaximus]

I can totally relate to the OP. I've been successful at pretty much everything I've ever REALLY wanted. The things I've failed at? I gave up on, I didn't care, I thought they were important/interesting until I realized they weren't.

That being said, if I acknowledge my strengths (young-ish, smart-ish, healthy) are there any obstacles between me and my desires besides my will (or ego/self-doubt/whatever)? Not really. Which I think is what most miscers are expressing here. If you want something, you go ****ing get it.

But not everyone is blessed with health or brains or relatively minor demons. And I'd love to hear the story of someone who really felt like they gave something everything they had, and they still failed. Can a manlet be an NBA star? Sometimes circumstances truly separate us from our goals. Is this more clear?

For 2 years I put a crazy amount of effort launching a logistics platform for the insurance industry that would solve major problems every day insurance holders face. I spent a ton of time, money and most importantly brain cycles on it. It was also not my first rodeo in launching a business and others have been successful.

My failure was my lack of detailed knowledge (im talking deep) of the insurance business and the partners I relied on for this were not up to par with what i typically expect. After 2 years I bailed and sold off the business.

[soberchuck]

LMAO..... have lived my entire life this way (ded fkn Srs)



so far it's worked out fine; except not having a quality hbb wife / GF @ age 33

[Glutebrahhh]

For 2 years I put a crazy amount of effort launching a logistics platform for the insurance industry that would solve major problems every day insurance holders face. I spent a ton of time, money and most importantly brain cycles on it. It was also not my first rodeo in launching a business and others have been successful.

My failure was my lack of detailed knowledge (im talking deep) of the insurance business and the partners I relied on for this were not up to par with what i typically expect. After 2 years I bailed and sold off the business.

Tough man, but I'm sure you still learned a lot, eh? What do they say, you only truly fail when you don't learn from your mistakes? There's a million corny verses like that I guess. Thanks for sharing.

[Dirtylocks]

The older I get, the more switches I look to turn off metaphorically.

Well said.

[Brosnbroccoli]

Good for you brah, what do you want to do? You're 100% sure you'll be ready to turn it on, then?

I think (and hope) so... I’ve won case competitions and have a part time job at a law firm and a volunteer job helping people who can’t afford an actual lawyer, and when I do that, I can’t take my mind off my work even after I’ve left the workplace, etc. I’d MUCH rather work than be in school right now.
Getting my masters summer 2021, and Hopefully I’ll be on my way to become a lawyer afterwards.

[mesobuild]

This does not work when you're taking care of someone else. I think this kind of continuous responsibility is the trait separating people you would want to work with or not.

[donblaximus]

Tough man, but I'm sure you still learned a lot, eh? What do they say, you only truly fail when you don't learn from your mistakes? There's a million corny verses like that I guess. Thanks for sharing.

Failure happens all the time.....at least for me. I think people typically do not like to admit to failure. Or they provide some excuse or reason to the failure that is not their fault....maybe to feel better about it...I dont know.

[Dirtylocks]

Still trying to find out how to turn it back "on" after my fiance died in feb. She was sick for the last 2 years and id have to frequently leavevwork to attend. This developed into almost a fear of starting things cuz i didnt know when id get called to leave/deal with emergency.

Career suffered during that time and i missed out on a ton of opportunities. Trying to care again, but it also feels like that ship has sailed and i should jus try in other aspects of life that were lacking.

Brutal.

[xbluexhawkx]

I always do this lol

[deaglebrah]

It's called being lazy. I'm the same way. Most forumcels are too because we all have similar personalities which is why we aggregate in the same places.

[Hmatt330]

I think (and hope) so... I’ve won case competitions and have a part time job at a law firm and a volunteer job helping people who can’t afford an actual lawyer, and when I do that, I can’t take my mind off my work even after I’ve left the workplace, etc. I’d MUCH rather work than be in school right now.
Getting my masters summer 2021, and Hopefully I’ll be on my way to become a lawyer afterwards.

Good for you brah. It seems like you generally do try, and not excelling at school is more something that's a result of you trying real hard somewhere else.

I think that this will only continue and strengthen

I can totally relate to the OP. I've been successful at pretty much everything I've ever REALLY wanted. The things I've failed at? I gave up on, I didn't care, I thought they were important/interesting until I realized they weren't.

That being said, if I acknowledge my strengths (young-ish, smart-ish, healthy) are there any obstacles between me and my desires besides my will (or ego/self-doubt/whatever)? Not really. Which I think is what most miscers are expressing here. If you want something, you go ****ing get it.

But not everyone is blessed with health or brains or relatively minor demons. And I'd love to hear the story of someone who really felt like they gave something everything they had, and they still failed. Can a manlet be an NBA star? Sometimes circumstances truly separate us from our goals. Is this more clear?

edit: of course, if you have goals that are unattainable for reasons you can specifically identify i.e. genetics (the nba example), health (say you want to be an astronaut but you have brittle bones or something), or you want to be an air force pilot but you're too tall, etc. Then it's really your responsibility to reexamine your goals and find attainable achievements that allow you to succeed under the circumstances.

You're right that there are no obstacles in controlling yourself, but not every attempt can be successful simply due to external circumstances. And that's ok. Usually people who try very hard at something and fail, still "land in the stars" so to speak.

So I do believe that the people who have truly tried for something and failed are far and wide.

You're right that if you want something go ****ing get it, (and have a backup) or whatever. Things can fail.


But I also feel like there's many of us who either don't know what we want or don't truly want anything (or think that). I am in agreement with you that I could go get it (or try), there's just something that's stopping me from even wanting to try anything. (?)

[Hmatt330]

It's called being lazy. I'm the same way. Most forumcels are too because we all have similar personalities which is why we aggregate in the same places.

It could be as simple as this. But I think there's more. Why do most people try hard? Shouldn't there be a good reason for it, besides social clout, or whatever their reasons are?

This does not work when you're taking care of someone else. I think this kind of continuous responsibility is the trait separating people you would want to work with or not.

This is something that's true, but I want to want something for myself, not for an obligation

You do it for fear about "what If I do turn it on, and nothing happens" then you will have nothing to blame your failure on. This is the typical case of, I could do it if i wanted to but im just not trying so i can sleep at night syndrome

Very true. I think that this is super important to understand. These implicit reasons. I think it is definitely a combination of this, and not understanding what healthy motivations to do something are

[mesobuild]

Very true. I think that this is super important to understand. These implicit reasons. I think it is definitely a combination of this, and not understanding what healthy motivations to do something are

money.

Look how hard you work for income. Ronald MacDonald from always sunny explained his body transformation this way. They offered him a lot of money to do it.