Matches have pretty much died ³

[DustinTheHuss]

I'm thinking east coast, partially because I get along better with people from that coast. But I also don't want really conservative, because I'm moderate. But apparently not many places are as extreme as where I am now wrt political extremes. I imagine most places would be fine for me.

NC was winning, but honestly the weather concerns me. I'm been researching and realize how absolutely spoiled I am with weather here. I do want seasons but not hot/humid summers or long winters. Apparently, I've gotta bite some bullet.

My weather absolutely kills your weather though as we don't get any fog and it's quite sunny most of the time. There are more conservative places inland, or even in some places like Sausalito.

[Luc1fer]

My weather absolutely kills your weather though as we don't get any fog and it's quite sunny most of the time. There are more conservative places inland, or even in some places like Sausalito.

I prefer the more temperate climate.

[TallSaint]

I wake up this morning and literally the first thing that pops up on my FB feed is pictures posted by my Japanese ex with a group of her friends and her previous ex being on of them in those pics.

I mean in her whole story for when she broke up with me was that she realized she wasn't ready to date and she needed more time to become a more independent person from that relationship and move past that 4 year relationship.

It's been a 3.5 weeks since she told me that and broke things off.

I should probably move to a remote island and live out the rest of my 40-50 years of life there. I can't understand society anymore lmao.

[Silencespeaks]

I wake up this morning and literally the first thing that pops up on my FB feed is pictures posted by my Japanese ex with a group of her friends and her previous ex being on of them in those pics.

I mean in her whole story for when she broke up with me was that she realized she wasn't ready to date and she needed more time to become a more independent person from that relationship and move past that 4 year relationship.

It's been a 3.5 weeks since she told me that and broke things off.

I should probably move to a remote island and live out the rest of my 40-50 years of life there. I can't understand society anymore lmao.

Well that is actually consistent with what she told you. She said she was not over him.

And you shouldn’t follow exes on social media. You’ll quickly see them with a new guy. Either their ex or some new relationship. You shouldn’t follow them or ever even look them up. Unfollowing them and not looking them up is an integral part of NC.

And what is there not to understand? Peoole break up all the time. People move on right away. People get back with exes all the time. People date someone new all the time. That is a NORMAL part of dating.

[Kev1972]

I mean in her whole story for when she broke up with me was that she realized she wasn't ready to date and she needed more time to become a more independent person from that relationship and move past that 4 year relationship.

It's been a 3.5 weeks since she told me that and broke things off.

I should probably move to a remote island and live out the rest of my 40-50 years of life there. I can't understand society anymore lmao.

The question is not "Are sloots gon' sloot". Rather, it's "How much are sloots gon' sloot". To establish this, we need to introduce a new value, € <- Which is the greek letter for "Sloot". This will come in handy when asking questions such as "Is my gf gonna suck 15 dinks at the bar tonight?".

To answer this, all you need to do is find € in the equation € = X+Y*n, where X is the number of jaeger shots your little vixen has downed, Y is the amount of dinks at the party in integers, and n is the "broadcaster factor".

Say for example that there are 25 dinks, your gf has had 7 jaeger shots, and there are 2 Jamals walkin' around. This gives us

25+7*2= 39

In any case where € >10, your gf is going to suck at least 1 other dink that night with a 95% statistical probablility.

[TallSaint]

Well that is actually consistent with what she told you. She said she was not over him.

And you shouldn’t follow exes on social media. You’ll quickly see them with a new guy. Either their ex or some new relationship. You shouldn’t follow them or ever even look them up. Unfollowing them and not looking them up is an integral part of NC.

And what is there not to understand? Peoole break up all the time. People move on right away. People get back with exes all the time. People date someone new all the time. That is a NORMAL part of dating.

She said (in tears), that she wasn't over her relationship and that she needed more time to move on from it. Also that she realizes she wasn't ready to date again despite thinking that she was when she starting dating me.

From my understanding, if I want to move on from someone and a relationship, it doesn't make sense to be hanging/chatting around with that ex-partner.

But you could be right. Maybe during those 3.5 weeks since things ended between, she decided that she didn't want to move on and wanted him back and that was her goal moving forward. That could be the scenario.

It's still unreal to me how fast people can change their minds/move on.

Edit: Yeah, I unfollowed her. Didn't delete though.

[TallSaint]

The question is not "Are sloots gon' sloot". Rather, it's "How much are sloots gon' sloot". To establish this, we need to introduce a new value, € <- Which is the greek letter for "Sloot". This will come in handy when asking questions such as "Is my gf gonna suck 15 dinks at the bar tonight?".

To answer this, all you need to do is find € in the equation € = X+Y*n, where X is the number of jaeger shots your little vixen has downed, Y is the amount of dinks at the party in integers, and n is the "broadcaster factor".

Say for example that there are 25 dinks, your gf has had 7 jaeger shots, and there are 2 Jamals walkin' around. This gives us

25+7*2= 39

In any case where € >10, your gf is going to suck at least 1 other dink that night with a 95% statistical probablility.

lol'd mane.

[Silencespeaks]

She said (in tears), that she wasn't over her relationship and that she needed more time to move on from it. Also that she realizes she wasn't ready to date again despite thinking that she was when she starting dating me.

From my understanding, if I want to move on from someone and a relationship, it doesn't make sense to be hanging/chatting around with that ex-partner.

But you could be right. Maybe during those 3.5 weeks since things ended between, she decided that she didn't want to move on and wanted him back and that was her goal moving forward. That could be the scenario.

It's still unreal to me how fast people can change their minds/move on.

Edit: Yeah, I unfollowed her. Didn't delete though.

You really have to be more realistic about dating and human nature. People get back together with exes all the time. Or people move on with a new person quickly all the time.

If this surprises you then you really don’t understand human nature or dating. You’re projecting what you would do onto how other people should act. But that is simply not reality.

Yes there are exceptions where people stay single after a break up to be alone and work on themselves and work through their issues. But that is not the majority of people.

The majority will either quickly get back with an ex they are not over or quickly move on with a new person. You have to learn to expect that otherwise you will keep getting surprised and keep getting hurt. It’s just human nature.

[TallSaint]

You really have to be more realistic about dating and human nature. People get back together with exes all the time. Or people move on with a new person quickly all the time.

If this surprises you then you really don’t understand human nature or dating. You’re projecting what you would do onto how other people should act. But that is simply not reality.

Yes there are exceptions where people stay single after a break up to be alone and work on themselves and work through their issues. But that is not the majority of people.

The majority will either quickly get back with an ex they are not over or quickly move on with a new person. You have to learn to expect that otherwise you will keep getting surprised and keep getting hurt. It’s just human nature.

Yeah up until this point in my life, this has always been me, 100%. The minority.

I get what you are saying though, I've never understood how people can move on so quickly after relationships because I have never been able to.

This ties back to where people in this thread were saying that I got invested too deep and too fast with someone which results in too much attachment. I have to stop getting invested too quickly to the people I date, when things are going well (even TOO well, which was the case with this girl). I'd much rather be in the majority that you're talking about than the minority.

In the future, it will be easier to move on when these things don't work out if I have less attachment.

[Silencespeaks]

Yeah up until this point in my life, this has always been me, 100%. The minority.

I get what you are saying though, I've never understood how people can move on so quickly after relationships because I have never been able to.

This ties back to where people in this thread were saying that I got invested too deep and too fast with someone which results in too much attachment. I have to stop getting invested too quickly to the people I date, when things are going well (even TOO well, which was the case with this girl). I'd much rather be in the majority that you're talking about than the minority.

In the future, it will be easier to move on when these things don't work out if I have less attachment.

Well you don’t need to be in the majority that moves on quickly. If you’re the type of person who prefers taking time off from dating and staying alone for a while to process everything then that is totally fine and healthy. BUT you can’t expect other people to do the same. You can’t project your preferences on other people and be surprised when they move on quickly. Because that is the majority of people.

And yes it’s not good to attach so quickly and deeply like you do. Because again you are projecting your own feelings and your own character onto other people. You are expecting them to feel the same way you do and to make the same decisions you do. Which again is just not realistic at all. Vast majority of people will feel differently from you and act differently from you. And yes it is possible to find someone who reciprocates your feelings and choices but it takes time to see if that is the case. You cannot just assume that based on short term dating.

The underlying issue under all this is you projecting your feelings and actions and morals etc on other people. You have to fully realize that other people are different from you.

[DustinTheHuss]

Yeah up until this point in my life, this has always been me, 100%. The minority.

I get what you are saying though, I've never understood how people can move on so quickly after relationships because I have never been able to.

This ties back to where people in this thread were saying that I got invested too deep and too fast with someone which results in too much attachment. I have to stop getting invested too quickly to the people I date, when things are going well (even TOO well, which was the case with this girl). I'd much rather be in the majority that you're talking about than the minority.

In the future, it will be easier to move on when these things don't work out if I have less attachment.

It get invested too deep as well, and end up totally hurt while the guy has a new girlfriend.

I've even had a guy my age mog me by bringing his new girlfriend out to my league tennis matches. Talk about trying to distract me. Then they had a baby and he had to yell on the next tennis court that he was having a boy, just to rub it in.

Yes, my therapist said to keep in mind to get to know the person slowly and you don't know things about the person until they reveal themselves over time. Easier said than done as she seemed like the perfect girlfriend from what you wrote.

[Luc1fer]

She said (in tears), that she wasn't over her relationship and that she needed more time to move on from it. Also that she realizes she wasn't ready to date again despite thinking that she was when she starting dating me.

She lied to save your feelings. NEVER believe the reasons women give you for breakup unless she’s telling you some brutal truth (which probably won’t happen, because it’s based on feelings, not integrity).

The majority of women monkey-branch quickly and can’t be alone. Always just assume this to save you the pain (part of the pain is believing her).

Yeah up until this point in my life, this has always been me, 100%. The minority.

I get what you are saying though, I've never understood how people can move on so quickly after relationships because I have never been able to.

I understand what you mean. I literally couldn’t face dating again for months after my big breakup. But she started quickly. It is quite gut wrenching, NC is important for this.

Stop making assumptions about people as I said above, the brutal truth is that many can move on quickly although it may hurt them down the line.

TBH I think it says a lot of good things about you. You’ll make a solid loyal partner for someone some day.

[TallSaint]

The underlying issue under all this is you projecting your feelings and actions and morals etc on other people. You have to fully realize that other people are different from you.

This is solid, grounding advice and I really appreciate it.

I'm really going to make an effort to normalize myself to the points you mentioned: i.e. people move on to new or back to old partners quickly and so forth. As mentioned, for myself it's very slow (and at times difficult) progression to the point where I may be a strong outlier to the general majority.

It get invested too deep as well, and end up totally hurt while the guy has a new girlfriend.

I've even had a guy my age mog me by bringing his new girlfriend out to my league tennis matches. Talk about trying to distract me. Then they had a baby and he had to yell on the next tennis court that he was having a boy, just to rub it in.

Yes, my therapist said to keep in mind to get to know the person slowly and you don't know things about the person until they reveal themselves over time. Easier said than done as she seemed like the perfect girlfriend from what you wrote.

I don't even post on the misc anymore, basically just this thread because I either relate too well or learn a lot from the sound advice from the people in this thread.

I hope you are okay after that experience, sounds like a pretty horrible thing to go through.

You're right, it is easier said than done. But absolutely no choice moving forward. Once I start dating again, it's going to be taking it slow or it's a no-go.

She lied to save your feelings. NEVER believe the reasons women give you for breakup unless she’s telling you some brutal truth (which probably won’t happen, because it’s based on feelings, not integrity).

The majority of women monkey-branch quickly and can’t be alone. Always just assume this to save you the pain (part of the pain is believing her).



I understand what you mean. I literally couldn’t face dating again for months after my big breakup. But she started quickly. It is quite gut wrenching, NC is important for this.

Stop making assumptions about people as I said above, the brutal truth is that many can move on quickly although it may hurt them down the line.

TBH I think it says a lot of good things about you. You’ll make a solid loyal partner for someone some day.

Thanks man, as always.

Yeah the trend is clear for me when it comes to her:

-She breaks up with he ex of towards the end of last year
-Starts dating me in Feb and quickly asks me to be in a relationship with her
-Within a few months, doesn't want to be with me anymore and breaks it off
-Few weeks after that, she's back hanging with her ex

Doesn't seem like she can be alone.

I'm more and more coming into acceptance that she was not dating me for who I am as an individual and what I had a to offer, but rather that she was trying to be with me for the sake of her trying to fill the void of loneliness she had after her previous relationship ended. When she likely realized that I couldn't fill that void, she went back to hanging with her ex who had done it for her at some point.

[Midi77]

She lied to save your feelings. NEVER believe the reasons women give you for breakup unless she’s telling you some brutal truth (which probably won’t happen, because it’s based on feelings, not integrity).

The majority of women monkey-branch quickly and can’t be alone. Always just assume this to save you the pain (part of the pain is believing her).

Exactly, I think it's just people in general don't want to tell the truth when breaking up with a person, no use getting worked up about it, just incompatibility. If she was truly the one, or still had genuine feelings for you, she wouldn't have left, it's that simple.

[awwchit2]

Exactly, I think it's just people in general don't want to tell the truth when breaking up with a person, no use getting worked up about it, just incompatibility. If she was truly the one, or still had genuine feelings for you, she wouldn't have left, it's that simple.

I dunno I think some girls try to move on from their ex by dating guys, then realize they aren’t truly over him. So I don’t think her excuse was bullchit.

It’s like still missing your ex and seeing some other girl that just doesn’t do it for you. So you cut her off. It’s happened to me srs

It’s more bad timing than anything else

[Luc1fer]

I dunno I think some girls try to move on from their ex by dating guys, then realize they aren’t truly over him. So I don’t think her excuse was bullchit.

She's a liar with a bunch of half truths. Even if her intent was to save his feelings which is also likely true.

This is why I say, just don't believe that bs that women will feed you. Feelings > truth, for many.

And I'm not even saying she's some uniquely terrible person, she's a normal person that lies when it suits and rationalizes it via 'saving feelings'.

She said (in tears), that she wasn't over her relationship and that she needed more time to move on from it.

I bet she was in contact with her ex before breaking up, to re-establish that monkey branch. That's how he's back in the picture so quickly.

As we've said before, you idealized her too quickly.

[awwchit2]

She's a liar with a bunch of half truths. Even if her intent was to save his feelings which is also likely true.

This is why I say, just don't believe that bs that women will feed you. Feelings > truth, for many.

And I'm not even saying she's some uniquely terrible person, she's a normal person that lies when it suits and rationalizes it via 'saving feelings'.



I bet she was in contact with her ex before breaking up, to re-establish that monkey branch. That's how he's back in the picture so quickly.

As we've said before, you idealized her too quickly.

Isn't it super common for exes to get back together even after fukin around with other people?

I think it just takes seeing other people to realize your ex was actually pretty good etc. Or some people just don't want to rebuild with someone else and just want to settle etc.

Aint nobody can make sense of women anyways. They lie.

[Luc1fer]

Isn't it super common for exes to get back together even after fukin around with other people?

I think it just takes seeing other people to realize your ex was actually pretty good etc. Or some people just don't want to rebuild with someone else and just want to settle etc.

Aint nobody can make sense of women anyways. They lie.

Are you refuting my points, or just adding additional points?

[TallSaint]

Isn't it super common for exes to get back together even after fukin around with other people?

I think it just takes seeing other people to realize your ex was actually pretty good etc. Or some people just don't want to rebuild with someone else and just want to settle etc.

Aint nobody can make sense of women anyways. They lie.

Not to generalize women, but it's clear to me that this girl is just indecisive as fuk.

They were dating for 4 years but broke up within a single year of living together. She told me that her reasoning for ending things with him was that he didn't understand her as a person or emotions after 4 years together lol. And that they just had lifestyle differences (apparently her ex would just play video games all day).

I think it's more a case of her only remembering the good and wanting to have what she had in the past without wanting to rebuild with someone else.

And at the end of the day, that's fine. I can't be responsible for her indecisiveness. I tried my best and didn't wrong her in any way.

[awwchit2]

I got deleted off snapchat and unmatched from hinge after attempting to set up a date with a girl

too soon jr

now i'm only being shown morbidly obese girls on hinge

even after matching with attractive women lol

starting to think hinge is woke af

[awwchit2]

Not to generalize women, but it's clear to me that this girl is just indecisive as fuk.

They were dating for 4 years but broke up within a single year of living together. She told me that her reasoning for ending things with him was that he didn't understand her as a person or emotions after 4 years together lol. And that they just had lifestyle differences (apparently her ex would just play video games all day).

I think it's more a case of her only remembering the good and wanting to have what she had in the past without wanting to rebuild with someone else.

And at the end of the day, that's fine. I can't be responsible for her indecisiveness. I tried my best and didn't wrong her in any way.

In my opinion, it probably wasn't you it was her.

You just met her at a bad time. Getting over relationships is hard for some girls. Especially if they actually loved them etc.

You could have been a Chad but she probably would still miss her ex.

[Luc1fer]

Not to generalize women, but it's clear to me that this girl is just indecisive as fuk.

They were dating for 4 years but broke up within a single year of living together. She told me that her reasoning for ending things with him was that he didn't understand her as a person or emotions after 4 years together lol. And that they just had lifestyle differences (apparently her ex would just play video games all day).

I think it's more a case of her only remembering the good and wanting to have what she had in the past without wanting to rebuild with someone else.

And at the end of the day, that's fine. I can't be responsible for her indecisiveness. I tried my best and didn't wrong her in any way.

You need to be super cautious with people that are recently out of a relationship. Anyone with experience dating knows this, especially an ended LTR.

The current girl I'm with questioned me on my ex, since it had only been a few weeks since we ended. That was absolutely appropriate for her to dig into imo.

You should have taken that very, very seriously and really dug in and asked direct questions to determine where her mind was wrt her ex, last contact etc.. Did you? That should be your biggest lesson imo.

Either you didn't ask the right questions, or she lied.

[brightbrah]

I got deleted off snapchat and unmatched from hinge after attempting to set up a date with a girl

too soon jr

now i'm only being shown morbidly obese girls on hinge

even after matching with attractive women lol

starting to think hinge is woke af

lol brutal man, but it's owned by Match Group so not surprising tbh

A similar thing happened to me last year before I started my dating cleanse (suddenly started being shown only unattractive women after months of the app working fine for me), although, I don't know for certain whether it was caused by someone unmatching me or not.

[awwchit2]

lol brutal man, but it's owned by Match Group so not surprising tbh

A similar thing happened to me last year before I started my dating cleanse (suddenly started being shown only unattractive women after months of the app working fine for me), although, I don't know for certain whether it was caused by someone unmatching me or not.

Dude I get like 60 fatties in a row.

its insane.

[DustinTheHuss]

Dude I get like 60 fatties in a row.

its insane.

Yikes.

Almost every older guy I send to a Femiscer is stated to be fat. I've relaxed my standards on older men though. I can't expect them to look like Lucy's avi. I think it's just to be expected that people get heavier as they get older.

[Luc1fer]

Yikes.

Almost every older guy I send to a Femiscer is stated to be fat. I've relaxed my standards on older men though. I can't expect them to look like Lucy's avi. I think it's just to be expected that people get heavier as they get older.

That becomes more and more of an edge for me I think, having a decent physique. I'm not as muscular/big as my AVI anymore, but that's more of a detail IRL (not on misc of course).

Still relatively lean and muscular, which is the look/lifestyle I'll try to maintain within reason.

[DustinTheHuss]

That becomes more and more of an edge for me I think, having a decent physique. I'm not as muscular/big as my AVI anymore, but that's more of a detail IRL (not on misc of course).

Still relatively lean and muscular, which is the look/lifestyle I'll try to maintain within reason.

Yeah most men over 30 let themselves go, especially after they have kids. Granted I know how tough it is to workout when you have kids. Luckily her Dad would watch her when I worked out as he knew that was important.

But most of these men who are divorced now are just trying to get back into exercising. Of course they all put "hiking, active, biking" on their profiles so they seem like they are super active.

That definitely allows you to stand out, as well as other things about you.

[brightbrah]

Dude I get like 60 fatties in a row.

its insane.

yep, same exact thing happened to me, just flipped like a lightswitch suddenly. at least tinder eases you into it.

[poloralphloren]

yep, same exact thing happened to me, just flipped like a lightswitch suddenly. at least tinder eases you into it.

I get this too sometimes, but it’s just temporary - I think the algorithm discourages too much swiping, just give it a rest a couple days and you’ll get good options come up again

[Kev1972]

That becomes more and more of an edge for me I think, having a decent physique. I'm not as muscular/big as my AVI anymore, but that's more of a detail IRL (not on misc of course).

Still relatively lean and muscular, which is the look/lifestyle I'll try to maintain within reason.

How did you lose mass? Hop off the sauce?