How does my physique look when I was 18... demonic days. I am going to fast for weeks

[Oldman2020]

I was doing intense cardio at an mma gym for a month and eating about once a day. I ate like.. a steak.. Lol. I would do intense jump rope sessions.. I did 5x5 but mainly only progressed and kept track mentally of the bench press which explains the chest gains. I also got some massive hamstrings.

I would also do high reps of pushups and dips and stuff. Ab workouts. I really want to get back to this...

The last 2 photos are the best ones. I was pumped hard from high intensity and high rep dips.

[ridge_forrester]

Myron your before pics man

[snailsrus]

How old are you now? And you look skinny

[Oldman2020]

How old are you now? And you look skinny

I am 23. Wasted many opportunities yes.. I am now going to get back in shape and get out there.... Relive the youth I failed on.. My mentality and Spirit is healed now.

[snailsrus]

I am 23. Wasted many opportunities yes.. I am now going to get back in shape and get out there.... Relive the youth I failed on.. My mentality and Spirit is healed now.

your still a baby

[Oldman2020]

your still a baby

Everyone my age and in my "class" graduated college already with many memories of partying... hooking up with girls.. all that.. I went to some parties and my penis would never get hard dancing or in the bedroom for the most part due to intense depression, anxiety.... and deep deep demonic porn addiction/fantasies since 9 years old. I am well now and have a healthy desire. I am just fat and will need to cut down.

I will apply to college soon. To a party school.

[wave_length]

Everyone my age and in my "class" graduated college already with many memories of partying... hooking up with girls.. all that.. I went to some parties and my penis would never get hard dancing or in the bedroom for the most part due to intense depression, anxiety.... and deep deep demonic porn addiction/fantasies since 9 years old. I am well now and have a healthy desire. I am just fat and will need to cut down.

I will apply to college soon. To a party school.

Relax, you‘re gonna make it. Rooting for you.

[snailsrus]

Everyone my age and in my "class" graduated college already with many memories of partying... hooking up with girls.. all that.. I went to some parties and my penis would never get hard dancing or in the bedroom for the most part due to intense depression, anxiety.... and deep deep demonic porn addiction/fantasies since 9 years old. I am well now and have a healthy desire. I am just fat and will need to cut down.

I will apply to college soon. To a party school.

I never partied in college during either my degrees, glad I didn’t my grades were great, I worked and had no student loans

[Oldman2020]

Relax, you‘re gonna make it. Rooting for you.

I very much appreciate this. I was not totally honest with the photos either. I erased two small black dots from each side of my pecs. I had gyno surgery you see, at 16. My surgeon was one of the only surgeons who for some reason decided to also make an incision top corners of each pecs... So I was left with some scars I stupidly decided to cover with black diamond tattoos which resembled moles.. The deep dark black dolor of the tattoos also took away in my opinion of the shreds/insertions of my muscles by being so much darker.

So now, I had these really dark moles after working so hard for my physique.. I got on Lexapro(which I just got on again now for other reasons) while I was on vacation due to the intense anxiety and ocd at the disaster.. Well they are basically gone now, and I am going to get one last laser removal just to completely get what ever smudge is left.
I wasn't ready then anyhow.. I was lost.

I am Free now.

[Oldman2020]

Just get them laser removed bro.

Yes, I have for the past years since. They are almost shadows of what they once were at this point. I took years off but I will call them later when they open and I wake up. I will make an appointment and get another session. It took years though... They were really dark.. and over scar tissue....

[Nerve_Damage]

this is kind of gay OP