Fiancee of 7 years broke up with me month before wedding

[J411]

You trained her and helped turn her into another man’s prize. She was probably thinking about it before all that, but when she got in shape and the attention started rolling in en masse she thought “maybe I can really do better now...”

Which leads to point two. She tried to monkey branch but the branch broke and she fell flat on her face. Happens a lot. She then came begging and you took her back like a true cuck. It’s ok, it happens to a lot of dudes. But you must learn from it. Now she knows she can get away with anything and face no real consequences for it. That was the real end of your relationship, and you should have walked then. That was the day she lost any remaining respect she had for you, which was very little to start with.

Now you’re on your third chance. Luckily you didn’t marry the bitch so you don’t owe her anything. Kick her ass out of the house, put all of her stuff on the porch, block her number and forget about it and her forever. She’s dead to you now. You might not think it at this moment because your co-dependent self is addicted to her, but you dodged a big, life altering bullet. Many men aren’t so lucky. Your life will only get better now, as long as you don’t fall into the stupid “soul mate and marriage” trap again. It doesn’t exist and women think men who believe in such are fools. Trust me on that one. She’s always looking for another potential option. You should be too. You’ve got a little catching up to do and there is going to be a learning curve for you, but there’s no better time than the present. Two long term relationships is nothing. I had already done that by the time I was 18. There’s a lot out there to see in the world, you need to start having fun now. Don’t ever consider marriage again, unless she’s a multi millionaire or something. There’s no other situation where you, as a man, could possibly have anything to gain from it.


Good luck.

This guy knows whats up. She is monkey branching away and is probably already someone else's problem. You are better off.

And you are wrong about her not leaving you because your boring. I hate to tell you. The whole "we never do anything complaint" was basically that. The fact you didn't pick up on that sooner is more points against you. I'm sure the guy she is hanging off of now travels the world (girls love that) and does cool things all the time. The reality won't live up to the idea and she will probably come crawling back again but be strong and don't let her. Good luck.

[wonderbat00]

Ps: How come she's taking her sweet time moving out? Is her name on the lease? Can't you kick her out?

Names on the mortgage....shes switching off it and my moms going on....in terms of equity shes taking out what she put in.

[wonderbat00]

That's not true. Yeah women will have infinite orbiters but guess what? Those guys just want to fuk her.
They don't give a chit about her. They won't be caring for her or trying to build a life with her.
Those guys will use her, cheat on her and dump her cold blooded.
Then she'll look back and realize she got nothing going on in her life.

You have to accept that your ex will be sleeping around with other men, but in the end who gives a damn?
She'll be out of your life eventually and then you'll never talk to her or see her again. It's no different than some strange woman on the other side of the planet who you'll never talk to, being a sloot right now. You couldn't care less about that either.

What you need to do is get her out of the house. Whatever situation you got going on, get it sorted out. The longer she's in your life, the longer it's going to fuk you up.
Don't start doing all that dating crap unless you're mentally ready for it. If you feel better alone by yourself so you can heal, then do just that.
Rebounds aren't for everyone. Heal on your own time in your own way.

Other than that, don't let this bish ruin your life. Don't let it affect your career or prevent you from living your life to the fullest.
You'll get over this. And yeah 7 years is a long time and i'm sure you invested a ton in it. But at least you don't have to pay alimony or anything like that.
Just stay strong, get this person out of your life/house asap and once you no longer see her, you'll be able to start moving on.

Good luck.

Ps: How come she's taking her sweet time moving out? Is her name on the lease? Can't you kick her out?

Thanks for the advice...just ****ing down today...

[brothoven]

I feel your pain, OP. I've gone through something very similar. All I can say is that, as many others have stated, your ex is simply is not a good person. Even though you love her, you made the wrong choice. You never should have taken her back. Now you're suffering the consequences of your actions. But we've all been there. You just need to come to grips with the facts and then slowly move on. This is actually a good thing for you, because that bish would have ruined your life. Now you still have a chance to get your life together and find happiness. Give it some time and take solace in the fact that you're going to end up better off in the long run. Stay strong, OP.

[GiveMeTheD]

So just to clarify... she broke up with you once, you took her back.

She called off the wedding, and you tried to persuade her to stay with you?

You sound like you have as many issues as her, work on your own self esteem.

[sunrisesunshine]

She aint coming back this time my friend... But no I wont...its just rough right now...spending everday with someone for 7 years and poof they are gone

u sound like a sweetheart.
dont worry, ill marry you lol

[TheTyler2013]

Thanks for the advice...just ****ing down today...

Damn bro. This is some serious chit you going through. It makes me feel better about my situation of breaking up with 3.5 years gf and thinking it's the end of the world.

So I feel a little bit better.

I hope you're gonna make it brother. I'm 7 months after the break up and still have 100% feels for the girl who is already slooty on IG and Tinder lmao. And I still here crying about her on Misc..

I hope you'll grow some balls, and move on. I know you'll be able to, because I'm a ******* (srs) who have no other women or fun in life but you are not like me (you sound like a real man and a really cool dude).

You deserve the best.
Good luck bro.

[jjindiana89]

She broke up with me once because she didn't think I wanted kids or marriage and during the breakup she was still hanging out with me for the first little bit and being super shady texting other guys from the gym, being super flirty with other guys (one guy tried to brush her hair in the gym to see her earring and it almost caused a fight in the gym). We then completely broke things off and I went No Contact, she came back after 6 months. With hesitation I took her back. After we got back together, about 7 months later she had a scary medical emergency in which I saved her life, and after that I was there for her night and day for the next 8 months (like fanatical).

You f*cked up getting back together with her after this disrespectful bull****. A breakup, ideally initiated by you, is a great way to see what a woman's real character is. Nothing dries up p*ssy faster than a dude hanging around a girl after she breaks up with him. If a girl breaks up with me I'm a f*cking ghost. If I have to see her for whatever reasons I ignore her, don't even look at her. The fact that you made yourself available like this during that breakup and almost fought a dude for flirting with her is proof in her mind that you're not the type of guy she thought you were. It sucks and it's a tough situation to be in but other guys are right telling you that you dodged a bullet.

[TheTyler2013]

You f*cked up getting back together with her after this disrespectful bull****. A breakup, ideally initiated by you, is a great way to see what a woman's real character is. Nothing dries up p*ssy faster than a dude hanging around a girl after she breaks up with him. If a girl breaks up with me I'm a f*cking ghost. If I have to see her for whatever reasons I ignore her, don't even look at her. The fact that you made yourself available like this during that breakup and almost fought a dude for flirting with her is proof in her mind that you're not the type of guy she thought you were. It sucks and it's a tough situation to be in but other guys are right telling you that you dodged a bullet.

What do you mean by "see her real character"?

I broke up with my GF 6 months ago. She didn't talk to me since, and me neither. I wanna get back to her so bad but I dont wanna be the *******. I always thought she would crawl to my hands begging for a 2nd chance but she didn't

What does it mean?

Btw I broke up with (kind of) in the middle of the relationship about 3 different times. I didnt actually break up but I ignored her for couple of days and didnt answer her texts and told her "I'm thinking to break up".
She always crawled back and that's why we stayed for that long.

What do you think about my girls character? I mean why didnt she try to get back to me this time?

I found her on tinder a month ago. I guess she really moved on. But what do u suggest me to do if I'm dying to get back to her?

[liftforchrist5]

What do you mean by "see her real character"?

I broke up with my GF 6 months ago. She didn't talk to me since, and me neither. I wanna get back to her so bad but I dont wanna be the *******. I always thought she would crawl to my hands begging for a 2nd chance but she didn't

What does it mean?

Btw I broke up with (kind of) in the middle of the relationship about 3 different times. I didnt actually break up but I ignored her for couple of days and didnt answer her texts and told her "I'm thinking to break up".
She always crawled back and that's why we stayed for that long.

What do you think about my girls character? I mean why didnt she try to get back to me this time?

I found her on tinder a month ago. I guess she really moved on. But what do u suggest me to do if I'm dying to get back to her?

Why do things have to be so complicated? Just reach out. If she burns you, who cares. It’s her loss. Have that attitude

[Luc1fer]

I broke up with my GF 6 months ago. She didn't talk to me since, and me neither. I wanna get back to her so bad but I dont wanna be the *******.

Ask yourself carefully why you broke up with her, and are those reasons clearly gone. Otherwise you're wasting your time, and will break up again for the same reasons.

[MediocreGains]

1. She's a kunt for waiting that long to break things off, but like others have said, it could've been worse.

2. You're a fool for being "blind-sided." She's not some Russian sleeper agent. The signs she showed that she was checking out a long time ago were likely very obvious. For fuk's sake, she dumped you once and openly flirted with other men in front of you.

3. You may have wasted 7 years of your life on a relationship that probably should've ended at year 3 or 4, but the good thing is that you didn't waste even more.

4. Under no circumstances should you ever take her back, although when it comes down to it, of course you'll just do what you want to do.

[TheTyler2013]

Ask yourself carefully why you broke up with her, and are those reasons clearly gone. Otherwise you're wasting your time, and will break up again for the same reasons.

I broke up with her because:
1. I got "bored" because it a long relationship and you naturally get bored to be with the same person for 3.5 years.
2. Didnt feel we have sex as we used to in the beginning, and I didnt feel the "love" is real from my side anymore.
3. I thought I'll pull 10000 different girl when i'll be single and wanted to explore the world a little bit. Ofc I was wrong. No one wants me lol. No 1000 girls and not even one for 6 months.

But now things are different as fawk. I'm in love with her although I broke up with her. I mean idk if I'm in love but I do miss her and her company a lot.

We wont break up again for these reasons because I'll be thankful and appreciate what I have in my hands now that I know what is the singles world is like.

[TheTyler2013]

Why do things have to be so complicated? Just reach out. If she burns you, who cares. It’s her loss. Have that attitude

Yeah I get you bro.. I'm gonna wait 2 more weeks till her birthday and send her a low key "happy birthday blah blah I dont know what happend between us but I hope you're doing well" and hope she'll reply with some of her own romantic chit and then we"ll go out.

I didnt do it yet because I feel like a total beta to reach her out first while she moved on and didnt reach me out.. not even on my birthday that was 2 months ago. I mean for god sake, we were been together for 3.5 years, couldn't she send me a simple "happy birthday"? I am mad at her for that.

[liftforchrist5]

Yeah I get you bro.. I'm gonna wait 2 more weeks till her birthday and send her a low key "happy birthday blah blah I dont know what happend between us but I hope you're doing well" and hope she'll reply with some of her own romantic chit and then we"ll go out.

I didnt do it yet because I feel like a total beta to reach her out first while she moved on and didnt reach me out.. not even on my birthday that was 2 months ago. I mean for god sake, we were been together for 3.5 years, couldn't she send me a simple "happy birthday"? I am mad at her for that.

Don’t reach out on her birthday. It could ruin her birthday if she doesn't like you.

[lilbloaty]

lulz reminds me of my ex, finds any excuse and nitpicks a nonissue that could be fixed easily just to ruin everything for no reason. always the guys fault never theirs. fukk her. girls like that are simply not long term material which you should have already known when she was texting (and prob sexting/meeting) other guys.

please go nc, you dodged a bullet.

[backinthegymbro]

Yeah I get you bro.. I'm gonna wait 2 more weeks till her birthday and send her a low key "happy birthday blah blah I dont know what happend between us but I hope you're doing well" and hope she'll reply with some of her own romantic chit and then we"ll go out.

Lmao you can't be serious. You trying to get back with your ex? by sending a message on her birthday? Lol!
she ignored your birthday yet you try so hard to get her back, while she's probably getting birthday sex from some dude while you're busy thinking of what to text her.

Get yourself together and move on dude. If a woman dumped you, she's not going to take you back.
She dumped you for a reason (which is most likely to be with someone else)

[lilbloaty]

Yeah I get you bro.. I'm gonna wait 2 more weeks till her birthday and send her a low key "happy birthday blah blah I dont know what happend between us but I hope you're doing well" and hope she'll reply with some of her own romantic chit and then we"ll go out.

I didnt do it yet because I feel like a total beta to reach her out first while she moved on and didnt reach me out.. not even on my birthday that was 2 months ago. I mean for god sake, we were been together for 3.5 years, couldn't she send me a simple "happy birthday"? I am mad at her for that.

brah no offence, i've been there, but your first sentence is delusional, please don't contact her.

girls always come back eventually... it took about 9 months for my ex to reach out after hating eachother and not talking at all for all that time. she reached out and became the nicest girl ever out of nowhere (she was a kunt in last couple years of relationship), we talked like bestfriends, got a little spark back and had amazing sex, but then her true colours just showed up again after like 3 days and i realised she's not long term material.

she will most likely contact you or at least follow you on social media to plant a seed eventually, but you must stay NC. only talk to her if she messages you first, and when that happens the absolute max you need to do is use her for a fukk and that's it.

she likely hasn't reached out yet because you're not meeting other girls and doing fukk all with your life as you stated. when i broke up with my ex my looks improved x10, started meeting multiple girls, picked up good hobbies, expanded social circle etc. once she noticed the changes i made she became attracted again. with what you're doing right now your ex is prob just thinking you're a loser who can't get his chit together. you need to start making changes now but focus on yourself and other girls only. your ex should be dead to you in your mind, it's the best way.

[TheTyler2013]

brah no offence, i've been there, but your first sentence is delusional, please don't contact her.

girls always come back eventually... it took about 9 months for my ex to reach out after hating eachother and not talking at all for all that time. she reached out and became the nicest girl ever out of nowhere (she was a kunt in last couple years of relationship), we talked like bestfriends, got a little spark back and had amazing sex, but then her true colours just showed up again after like 3 days and i realised she's not long term material.

she will most likely contact you or at least follow you on social media to plant a seed eventually, but you must stay NC. only talk to her if she messages you first, and when that happens the absolute max you need to do is use her for a fukk and that's it.

she likely hasn't reached out yet because you're not meeting other girls and doing fukk all with your life as you stated. when i broke up with my ex my looks improved x10, started meeting multiple girls, picked up good hobbies, expanded social circle etc. once she noticed the changes i made she became attracted again. with what you're doing right now your ex is prob just thinking you're a loser who can't get his chit together. you need to start making changes now but focus on yourself and other girls only. your ex should be dead to you in your mind, it's the best way.

Dude I already thought about it.. She always texted me lots of messages and tried to reach me out when I tried to dump her in the middle of the relationship. I was always "the prize".
So I thought it will happen also this time. But it didnt and she didnt reach me out for fawking 7 months(!). She couldn't spend a day without texting me even when I was a Biitch and ignored her, and now she ignores me for 7 months, doesn't even wish me a happy birthday..

I already blocked her on IG and FB because couldn't see her IG posts and stalked her every day. I still do it lol but from other account. I feel like a total loser.
And the problem is that I do try to improve myself. I'm studying very helpfull thing in the university, started going to gym and getting gains all over again.
Feels bad.

Lmao you can't be serious. You trying to get back with your ex? by sending a message on her birthday? Lol!
she ignored your birthday yet you try so hard to get her back, while she's probably getting birthday sex from some dude while you're busy thinking of what to text her.

Get yourself together and move on dude. If a woman dumped you, she's not going to take you back.
She dumped you for a reason (which is most likely to be with someone else)

I dumped her. And I regret it so bad.
She didnt dump me brah.
That's why I still hope there is any hope to get back to her because I broke up this relationship, so maybe she will agree to get back. Maybe she doesn't send anything because her "ego" of "he dumped me and now I have to be the one who reaches out to him? Hell no"

[backinthegymbro]

\
I dumped her. And I regret it so bad.
She didnt dump me brah.
That's why I still hope there is any hope to get back to her because I broke up this relationship, so maybe she will agree to get back. Maybe she doesn't send anything because her "ego" of "he dumped me and now I have to be the one who reaches out to him? Hell no"

if you dumped her when she was still in love with you, then there's a chance you can get her back. But there's also a big chance that she already had several dinks by now. Good luck.

[TheTyler2013]

if you dumped her when she was still in love with you, then there's a chance you can get her back. But there's also a big chance that she already had several dinks by now. Good luck.

Yeah I know cuz I saw her on tinder lol.
In the first moment I was like "she can dream about it" but then I realized that:
1. I also tried to get girls and on Tinder so how can I judge her?
2. It's my fault because I'm the one who dumped her.
3. I wont find any "innocent" girl in my age (23). I just wont. They are all had several dinks by now.. so I convinced myself to not care because what's the different between getting back to the ex after she had 2 dinks, or getting a new gf that had 4 different guys in the past month before meeting me?
They both will lie about it if I'll ask, so I just wont ask.

And 4. The most important point. I have NO other options. None. For 6 months I had NONE.
So I cant think logically right now.

[Luc1fer]

I broke up with her because:
1. I got "bored" because it a long relationship and you naturally get bored to be with the same person for 3.5 years.
2. Didnt feel we have sex as we used to in the beginning, and I didnt feel the "love" is real from my side anymore.
3. I thought I'll pull 10000 different girl when i'll be single and wanted to explore the world a little bit. Ofc I was wrong. No one wants me lol. No 1000 girls and not even one for 6 months.

But now things are different as fawk. I'm in love with her although I broke up with her. I mean idk if I'm in love but I do miss her and her company a lot.

We wont break up again for these reasons because I'll be thankful and appreciate what I have in my hands now that I know what is the singles world is like.

You think this now, but tbh she would be stupid to take you back.

[backinthegymbro]

And 4. The most important point. I have NO other options. None. For 6 months I had NONE.
So I cant think logically right now.

Not having options or being lonely isn't a good excuse to take an ex back. Also once the relationship ended, it will never be the same anymore.
So don't think she'll just go back to treating you like a king.
But if you want to try and get back with her then it's all you.

We wont break up again for these reasons because I'll be thankful and appreciate what I have in my hands now that I know what is the singles world is like

Actually you'll break up when she decides to break up. You think you're her only option? You think you're her dream guy?
she'll eventually try to get with someone ''better'' when the opportunity presents itself even if she does take you back.

[TheTyler2013]

Not having options or being lonely isn't a good excuse to take an ex back. Also once the relationship ended, it will never be the same anymore.
So don't think she'll just go back to treating you like a king.
But if you want to try and get back with her then it's all you.



Actually you'll break up when she decides to break up. You think you're her only option? You think you're her dream guy?
she'll eventually try to get with someone ''better'' when the opportunity presents itself even if she does take you back.

Idk brah.. I'll try. I'll give it a last shot. In 2 weeks on her birthday I'll say "happy bday. I hope you doing well".
If she responds with more than "thank you" I'll proceed to "let's just sit somewhere and talk about all this chit like grown ups"

I'll try to take her to a night walk on the beach / to a bar.

If she responds with "thank you" or ignores, I'll be able to 200% know that she's not into me anymore and let it finally go forever.

Thanks for all your tips. I hope I'm gonna get her and if not.. man I'm doomed to years of virginity..

[mgftp]

The bottom line is you two are incompatible and the rest of your life would have been misery. Probably the only reason you wanted to marry her is fear of being alone and weak emotions like loneliness, or perhaps just societal pressure to be in a relationship and get married. Once you get over the fact something you thought was going to happen didn't, you'll view this as a great life event that lead you to live a better life. Seriously, just reading her "issues" it's so clear you would end up on of the many men who got divorced or just lived out a miserable life. Be happy about this.

[skinnyfat88]

Lesson: female always wins in a breakup...especially with how many orbiters are always around

False.
If you're in good shape and have your chit together you'll be in high demand for the next 20 years once you have your confidence back and are ready to get back in the game.

Both high quality women to date long term or physically attractive ones just for flings will be attainable.

[Guardian]

When you broke up before that should of been for good. You each probably stayed together out of convenience and minor attraction. and once the time came to make it more permanent it got to real and collapsed. These are the sort of stories of why people need to "screen" better early on to prevent years or close to a decade of lost time and investment.

[MiscInformed]

Yeah I get you bro.. I'm gonna wait 2 more weeks till her birthday and send her a low key "happy birthday blah blah I dont know what happend between us but I hope you're doing well" and hope she'll reply with some of her own romantic chit and then we"ll go out.

I didnt do it yet because I feel like a total beta to reach her out first while she moved on and didnt reach me out.. not even on my birthday that was 2 months ago. I mean for god sake, we were been together for 3.5 years, couldn't she send me a simple "happy birthday"? I am mad at her for that.

You need NC. You're not following it. Delete her off everything. Stop online stalking her, it's just making you feel worse. The reason she hasn't contacted you is because she's moved on and has new cawk in her life. It's pathetic for you to sit around thinking about somebody who isn't thinking about you, and wishing she'd come back even though she's now getting her sexual needs met by one or more other men. The only reason you miss her is because you're finding it hard to replace her.

[TheBradHoliday1]

A girl... was disloyal and irresponsible?

Can't be man. Such things simply cannot happen.

[mcknzAlex]

Why do I feel like this relationship of yours is kind of unhealthy?

I know it's pretty hard, I have a friend that has ended up an 11 years of relationship last month. He finds out that her first girlfriend is cheating behind his back, she is talking to random guys. She told him that the reason why she felt out of love is due to the fact that he is too busy with work and some other stuff that he forgot that he has a girlfriend. My friend thought that she's the one, but it turns she is not.

Maybe it's time to let go, I feel like you did try to save the relationship but you can't do it alone.