I've realized its time to change mindset or permanently rot

[meenman83]

If you've actually read this sh*t and can relate and/or recommend any good material/etc pertaining to improving the mindset for a happier life i'll shower thee with green tokens of gratitude

Happy new years *******s

Don't give up brah, I am still looking for something to fall onto and I make over 6 digits...some think money cures all and it doesn't. You have to be mentally in tune with yourself, only thing I have done to achieve that level is mushies, but it only lasted a year. Don't give up brother and keep going because life is short as fuk.

OP, I hear you man. (srs)

I've been all over the world and I really enjoyed it but it's not a sustainable life-long thing (traveling without some sort of goal). I've had a high paying job that's 150k a year or so. I was miserable. I've been completely broke as I am now working a job I really enjoy but make absolute **** money doing. I mean absolute **** money. The fulfillment of work is there but the stress of having no money is also there. I can't seem to find the happy medium. I've tried meditating (can't seem to do it) and all sorts of other things. Being outside makes me happy but once again, how do I make $$$ and be outside all day doing what I want to do vs some crap job?

I think I'm going to try a silent meditation retreat. (srs) Look into it as well. I hear it has similar effects as mushrooms when you actually get past the initial hump of annoying yourself while sitting there trying to meditate. I'm not sure where else to go with it. I found the happiest was when I was being shot at in the middle east and 100% of my focus was on killing the enemy and protecting my guys. Nothing else has ever come close to that. That's also not sustainable so it seems the next step is to find positive thinking in some way that isn't BS.

If you think of something that works, let me know.

Every apply to do Forest service chit? You're outside and depending on location won't have to deal with too many people. Also know you will NEVER get that level of teambro sensation you got from military in the civilian sector sadly nor will you get the adrenaline rush or sense of accomplishment. You just have to find that equilibrium I wont bullchit you I haven't found mine I will do good for a while then fuk up and rinse and repeat. My coping with civilian life is contracting; 6 months on 1 month off, hopefully into 2 months on 2 months off gig but who knows.

[prbrah]

Bro you're bored. srs.

Find something that interests you and more importantly challenges you. Work at it.

I've come to this conclusion for my self as well after finishing school, landing a great/stress free job and a decent physique.

I agree with this dude. I was kind of in a similar place as you OP (without making outrageous money; just way more than I could find what to do with). For me the answer has been Jiu Jitsu. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's basically like playing chess with your body. As you get better, you learn new moves and the game just gets more and more complicated. It's definitely a thinking man's game, and if you're competitive at all (I have a feeling OP is), it can just consume you. It's consumed me, and it's pretty much all I think about. It doesn't have to be BJJ, but I think finding something that consumes you is what you're looking for OP. Go and get addicted to something, and hone your craft.

[TheFuarkingBoss]

Feeling the same brah.

Out of uni, did a job that was ok for 2 years but the boss was a wanker and their was no future their so will be finishing in two weeks.

Thinking of going to Australia.

I dont think its a fulfilment thing for me as I was happy working at this place but I think I need something deeper, something I can throw myself into. I think my own business is a must.

But also the Uk hasn't got that excitement factor, I need mountains and beaches in my daily life not pubs and fields.

[Ted Nugent]

Not one hobby was listed in the OP.

You can start with that, also what are your long term goals? How do you future look in 10+ years.

Having a Vision of how your life will be in 10+ years and activity pursuing it will help give you a better sense of purpose and is a good way to gauge how you are spending your time.

i think your emotions are similar to people who are ambitious by nature but peckish in what they want out of life.

it sounds like actively engaging in a hobby is a common theme. i'll have to pick one and stick it out

Don't give up brah, I am still looking for something to fall onto and I make over 6 digits...some think money cures all and it doesn't. You have to be mentally in tune with yourself, only thing I have done to achieve that level is mushies, but it only lasted a year. Don't give up brother and keep going because life is short as fuk.




Every apply to do Forest service chit? You're outside and depending on location won't have to deal with too many people. Also know you will NEVER get that level of teambro sensation you got from military in the civilian sector sadly nor will you get the adrenaline rush or sense of accomplishment. You just have to find that equilibrium I wont bullchit you I haven't found mine I will do good for a while then fuk up and rinse and repeat. My coping with civilian life is contracting; 6 months on 1 month off, hopefully into 2 months on 2 months off gig but who knows.

my older brother lives in the mountains in Oregon and he said i should check out the woodland service/firefighting, he has an idea of how im feeling and said he thinks i would really like it, apparently its some fast paced cowboy sh*t and you get to be outdoors.

[seanb1979]

Meditate on death and kill your soul OP. Then you will know freedom.

Kinda started with me when I read Hagakure.


“There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you will still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything.”

“Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Every day when one’s body and mind are at peace, one should meditate upon being ripped apart by arrows, rifles, spears and swords, being carried away by surging waves, being thrown into the midst of a great fire, being struck by lightning, being shaken to death by a great earthquake, falling from thousand-foot cliffs, dying of disease or committing seppuku at the death of one’s master. And every day without fail one should consider himself as dead”

[Redaber]

Happiness doesn't come from within, it's way more complex than that. If you don't have what you truly want in life, you will always be unhappy. For example, if you aren't happy making 100k or don't have a gf, you will be unhappy. Everyone is different and they look for happiness in different things

You must fill the void

Exactly this bro

[Mr.PissShivers]

thought you were out in Hollywood writing screenplays chasing the dream brah?

[jdmx]

This helped point me in the right direction when I was going through my version of what you're probably going through now.



I hope you find what you're looking for OP

[wisdommaster1]

I think you are on the right track and just need to keep going.

When I read your OP it sounds like you tried a whole bunch of different things and none of them were right for you in the end. Thats fine, keep going, trying new things and eventually you will get where you want to be which might end up not being what you expected at all.

It's better that you've done the things you've had instead of just settling somewhere. No one wants to die with regrets of what could have been. Sounds like your brother has an idea that you might enjoy, go do that and if it doesnt work out that's ok. Life is about the journey not the result

[Ted Nugent]

Meditate on death and kill your soul OP. Then you will know freedom.

Kinda started with me when I read Hagakure.


“There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you will still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything.”

“Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Every day when one’s body and mind are at peace, one should meditate upon being ripped apart by arrows, rifles, spears and swords, being carried away by surging waves, being thrown into the midst of a great fire, being struck by lightning, being shaken to death by a great earthquake, falling from thousand-foot cliffs, dying of disease or committing seppuku at the death of one’s master. And every day without fail one should consider himself as dead”

damn thats deep as fuk

This helped point me in the right direction when I was going through my version of what you're probably going through now.



I hope you find what you're looking for OP

ty men will watch that tomm

[seanb1979]

damn thats deep as fuk



ty men will watch that tomm

It's a short and interesting read.

https://archive.org/details/pdfy-W91d_RoynCCibBAf

[Redaber]

This helped point me in the right direction when I was going through my version of what you're probably going through now.



I hope you find what you're looking for OP

Quality vid, thank you

[JungleJenetics]

Have the same nihilist/hyper-critical mindset, positive self-talk in something I plan on working on.

[wargen]

Damn OP, I thought I was reading my own diary

subbed

[jamalfudge]

**mandatory preface: TL,DR, nice diary, and OP is most def a ****go**

spending new years at home tonight solo and been doing a lot of self reflection and i have realized the following:

-i've worked in vastly different careers, trying stuff that interested me rather than being the dreaded "cubicle drone", every area of interest i thought i'd love working in i went out and did the damn thing...and i ended up hating doing it as my bread & butter job. rinse and repeat multiple times
-i've traveled the world, everyone says it will change your perspective and open your eyes...meh not so much, take away the regional/cultural differences and vast majority of people are the exact same and all are completely predictable and follow basic human psychology/programming, the cool "scenic/touristy" things are fun and great memories, but the buzz rapidly wears off
-toiled away for an impressive physique, achieved "chad status", and smashed enough random girls to the point of literally losing count, had a hardcore dedicated GF who wanted marriage/kids/etc...both in both situations i ended up being unhappy and a "grass is greener situation"
-i've made very good money with low stress, and exact opposite, and aside from having slightly less anxiety about bills/etc and more money to buy random sh*t i was not drastically happier, the "thrill" of having money and buying stuff disappears so damn fast its scary

^^^ all the things that supposed to make you feel complete and bring you happiness...and yet it feels like life is a hamster wheel, you give it %110 and slog through the trenches and chase down new experiences and dreams and milestones and then somehow you end up at the same old point of just feeling miserable/whats the point/etc.

My view of the world is pretty stark and nihilistic, i consider it a realistic and factually based viewpoint, and i dont think i could "convert" myself to just believing everything is going to be okay and Jesus will have my back and stuff like that. And TBH it is mentally and emotionally exhausting because it feels like life will be a literal endless struggle to find peace of mind and happiness. At risk of sounding like a completely narcissistic douchebag...i know people IRL who are "simple folk" and things like having a decent career, a gf, and Sunday football makes them happy as a clam without a cloud in the sky, kind of like an "ignorance is bliss" scenario, i truly envy them TBH. On the other hand i am very self critical, constantly saying "you can do better"/"you should have done this"/"you would be happier if you hadnt been so stupid and had the foresight to do _____". I know i can achieve what i want, but whats the point of grinding away because when the dust settles i'll feel the same as i did before? The never-ending cycle.

I'm starting to realize that i don't think I'll ever find that "nirvana" I've been chasing as a result of outside forces (job/money/etc) and that its got to come from "within". A lot of people recommend "positive thinking" routines where you literally force yourself to be positive, or meditation, or finding some "higher purpose", and other stuff. I've never put much thought or weight into that stuff, i assumed it was mostly just charlatans whoring out their feel good strategy to part fools from their money.

If you've actually read this sh*t and can relate and/or recommend any good material/etc pertaining to improving the mindset for a happier life i'll shower thee with green tokens of gratitude

Happy new years *******s

Is it just me or am I the only one that had these types of realizations as a teenager?

[Exiled93]

it sounds like actively engaging in a hobby is a common theme. i'll have to pick one and stick it out



my older brother lives in the mountains in Oregon and he said i should check out the woodland service/firefighting, he has an idea of how im feeling and said he thinks i would really like it, apparently its some fast paced cowboy sh*t and you get to be outdoors.

I'm the same way when it comes to what I want to do for a job. I've done warehouse, factory, construction, landscaping and now office.

Still struggling to find out what I want to do. Landscaping was my favorite but the pay wasn't great.

I've always wanted to do something like forest service though. My landscaping was at a state park. I've heard those forest/wildfire ff jobs are extremely competitive though. A job where I could travel and be outdoors seems like where I would be happiest.

[naesob]

Damn OP, I thought I was reading my own diary

subbed

This so much. I know this feeling OP. In for tips.

[Ted Nugent]

Is it just me or am I the only one that had these types of realizations as a teenager?

when i was a teenager the only thing i was worried about making sure i got into college (because it's either that or end up in prison right? thanks guidance counselors LOL) and trying to get a gf, i started working when i was 15 but had no real concept of the big bad world

[Ted Nugent]

Have the same nihilist/hyper-critical mindset, positive self-talk in something I plan on working on.

i've had some weird experiences with really focusing/visualizing something and then it actually happens, multiple times with no "logical" explanation

starting to be a believer that intent/thoughts can actually have some effect

[NiceGuy901]

Download Headspace app for meditation.

Spirituality isn’t a bad thing. It was important for you to do through these different avenues of the American dream before realizing these aren’t what is truly valuable to you. Pick up a new hobby and improve on it, it’ll make you more fulfilled in the long run too.

Find meaning in your experiences and day to day life, appreciate the little things. For me, I look at whether the sun is out, or how a flower is still blooming in winter.

This. In the end finding contentment in the simpler things is where its at. Balance making enough money in a field that leaves you with enough energy & time for long-term goals, (family and self).

[ikepen]

Don't have much in the way of advice, but have you read "Man's Search for Meaning?" by Viktor Frankl. It seems like a book that could shed some perspective on your own feelings of "purpose."

was gonna post this. It is a powerful book.

[katya422]

Some good answers already ITT.

You might want to check out Buddhism OP. I keep meaning too...barely dabbled so far.

And, as already mentioned, focusing on helping others instead of on doing thing that you think will make you happy.

On a side note I don't think that our physiology has kept up with our present lifestyle. Think about how we mostly try to create a comfortable habitat for zoo animals.

One easy one is the massive size of our cities now while household size has diminished. It is easier to be anonymous and alone in a lot of ways...no busy bodies gossiping over your life choices, no need to compromise so much in daily life. OTOH some studies have found that humans do better in smaller groups (150? 500 maybe? not tens of thousands or millions) and that isolation has negative effects on our health.

[rammer19]

Maybe set a loftier goal. Do something hard. For instance, study law, pass the bar, set up shop somewhere. Then enter politics. Swim with the sharks, sounds like you could thrive.

Get elected to some kind of office. Then you can really help others. Its very hard and very challenging. It will consume you. I think you would like that, and your still young enough to begin.

Sounds like going somewhere and "helping" the differently advantaged would be too easy for you.

10 years from now you should be in front of a group of people asking them to let you represent them.

You want action and you want to make a difference. Generally that starts with a law degree.

Set a 10 year plan.

Believe me you want action.

[MonyChekz]

Damn this was really similar to how I'm thinking rn. Just finished university and about to start a new job after just quitting my ****ty retail part time one. Time to actually make real money, but i feel that won't be the end of it even if I was making a ****load. Only one way to find out I guess.
Like you also I banged random sloots, traveled to Japan/Philippines with my ex. Still wasn't enough though, feeling always incontent. Gotta keep looking though, I think within is part of it. But the external has something out there too

[Peppesbodega]

Dude..
Most people are trapped in the treadmills of working, having to get money, consuming etc.

I believe one has to break out from this, spending like 6 months away from it. Partly in isolation, and mostly in nature.
This will also result in anxiety, stress and depression surfacing though. But it will also lead to a groundedness, humbleness and gratitude.

But it is not easy. Many known spiritual leaders in history (Jesus, Buddha) have practiced, fasting, isolation, meditation etc etc..
putting themselves out there. And if you study history some almost went nuts from it. Maybe there is an easier way..! but these are some thoughts.

Maybe 2 long walks in natiure weekly in isolation is enough, without having to go nuts.

stay safe bro

[Peppesbodega]

Would also like to add.
I blieve fully that a human can be 100% satisfied with life just from chopping some wood, growing vegetables, getting water and maybe hunting daily.
With some company.

Those are almost spiritually fulfilling activities.
In modern society man is trapped with too much time and too much information.

You just need those fulfilling, vital daily activities and some people around you i think.

peace

[rammer19]

Listen Im sorry but "chop wood, carry water" sounds good when your young but it will leave you unfulfilled. Cold and hungry.

Get in the mix. Live. Compete.

Challenge your contemporaries.

Your not a monk or you would be a monk.

And when you realize these things your too old. Strike while your young.

No offense to Peppesbodega who I tried to rep, but I already had some other time so it wouldnt let me.

[MonyChekz]

Everyone always glorifies and talks about how you don't need money or material to last. And maybe it's true. But how many have actually been through all it Would take to have all the material possessions you would want? Who sacrificed and dug themselves up from the bottom and still had thoughts of "returning"? I'm sure for some there was. But would you really want to return to where you were? Not saying to go full on materialist, but we could agree in the current world one is harder than the other.. sometimes I feel like I want that challenge. To see if it's enough. And I'm not talking chump change I'm talking billions. Enough to last several lifetimes. Impossible it seems. Probably is, but I'd settle for enough to never go broke and worry ever. No matter what I wanted to obtain.
Just thoughts I have sometimes.
All I see are hippy liberal ***gots who feel like they know the key, but never put in any work or effort to obtain something tangible. And more peace to the ones who can live this way.. but how many are actually just coping/making excuses? I'm sure there's a large amount.

[jorg6]

I know how you feel OP, thankful for the good advice others have posted so far ITT

[faxanadu]

I can relate OP. I've done quite a variety of things myself and still struggle. What i do know is:

- Movement (constantly challenging myself... the journey) strongly relates to happiness
- Simplicity strongly relates to happiness
- Family (not biological holiday's family ... im talking Fast & Furious type family) strongly relates to happiness. More specifically, people that know your deep chit, that you enjoy talking to, and have your back.
- Sunlight and nature.
- Great sleep, diet, and overall health

IMO... lifestyles that don't embrace the above almost always seem to induce rot. Worse, society for whatever reason ... is anti (strongly doesn't facilitate it) all that.

I think traveling is a very positive thing (not overrated) with one condition. You have people to share the experience with. Looking at the Colosseum in Rome is amazing until you look to your left and right for someone to share the excitement with and realize there is no one. Which reminds me of this:

"Happiness is only real when shared."